When the sun breaks out after many days of gray drizzle, my spirits lift. How about you? It's no surprise that the climate around us can really affect how we feel and act.
Since you spend all day with your family, you probably pay attention to the emotional climate inside your home. Just like you can't ignore the weather when it's 75 degrees and sunny, it's hard to let your family's mood go unnoticed. You probably know from experience how much everyone benefits when you and your spouse have been communicating particularly well. And chances are you've also seen how sibling rivalry or unchecked anger can drag the whole family down.
So how can we cultivate favorable climates in our families? How can our houses (filled with noise as they may be) truly be places of peace?
I don't have all the answers, but I have thought a lot about these questions. When the kids were young, I found a few ground rules helped the whole atmosphere of the family. We intentionally follow these four principles in the Holzmann house:
1. No Put Downs
No put downs has always been a firm family rule. It forbids any insult directed at other people or at oneself. Not only was this house rule an easily definable way to keep the kids from picking at each other, it also prevents unintentionally hurtful sarcasm and stops us from indulging in discouraging self-talk. I believe that if we can manage our tongues (a difficult task indeed!), our hearts often follow suit.
2. Keep Short Accounts
I learned this house rule one from my friend, Becky, who worked on a team overseas for many years. In her time overseas, team tensions frequently rose between people from different backgrounds with very different ways of doing things. When her team committed to keep short accounts, they realized it was much more effective to ask forgiveness than to allow hurts to fester.
Instead of building up long tallies of who did what against us and harboring guilt about what we've done to others, keeping short accounts means we ask for forgiveness and forgive generously and often. Even if someone who wronged us doesn't ask for forgiveness, we can discuss the situation with him or her when appropriate and then choose to not hold a grudge.
In our family, our oldest daughter, Amy, modeled this for all of us. When she sensed tensions between her siblings, she would (on her own initiative) call a family meeting among the four of them. She would point to one sister or brother and say, "Talk. Tell us what's going on." And then give the next child a chance to respond. Through these impromptu meetings, our children (who are very different from one another) learned to keep short accounts and get along. If you can encourage your children to do similarly, they'll build a great life skill.
3. Make Charitable Assumptions
Just as we can extend grace to others by keeping short accounts, we also show grace when we choose to make charitable assumptions. If a friend does something that hurts me, I can choose to assume that she is acting from good motivations and that there is something I just don't understand about the situation.
Many times, what we assume is a personal attack on us is really just a misunderstanding, a momentary lapse of judgment, or a result of outside factors completely unrelated to us.
As we adopt a humble attitude we can choose to believe the best about others.
I should mention that keeping short accounts or making charitable assumptions doesn't mean you have to make unwise decisions. If a friend has proven again and again that she can't be trusted to keep your personal struggles private, it may be wise to choose not to share things with her that you don't want others to know. Making a charitable assumption doesn't mean you should assume that this is the time she'll prove worthy of trust. But it does mean you grant her grace by not assuming that she's trying to tear you down.
4. Don't Take Up the Offenses of Others
The last principle means that even as we support our family members and friends, we don't take up their interpersonal struggles as our own. If a friend is frustrated with my pastor, I can be supportive and encourage her to talk with him and resolve the issue, but I don't have to become a crusader to take her cause on as my own.
Within your family, this house rule prevents issues from blowing out of control and can keep your kids from ganging up on one another. More often than not, when we take up someone else's problem, we don't even understand both sides of the issue we're fighting.
Though there are many worthy reasons to homeschool, many parents homeschool to instill their values and morals in their children. I find that a worthy goal.
Beyond homeschoolers, I've noticed that others desire to teach morality, or its more old-fashioned synonym virtue. Many business schools have added ethics courses to their MBA programs. And over the past five years or so, I've had people from three different countries approach me to see how I might recommend teaching virtue or character development to people of their land.
And I'm not at all convinced that worksheets effectively inspire kids to develop character. Children can read a paragraph on George Washington and answer some questions about honesty, but does that stick with kids and inspire them? I just don't think we capture kids' hearts with either the worksheet or moralistic tales model.
Sonlight's approach to character development
For at least these reasons, Sonlight does not provide a stand-alone character development program.
When I consider how Jesus taught, he often used parables or stories. For example, when I think of his parable of the widow who pleaded consistently for justice from the unrighteous judge, I learn about persistence, even though Jesus does not use that particular term.
Based on Jesus' approach and lots of personal experience, I think families can truly learn about virtues from the stories we read. In fact, I would humbly propose that this is probably the best way to learn.
Our children develop true heroes through reading the Bible, great fiction and biographies. As they see their heroes face the complexities of life and make both mundane and difficult choices, they gain examples of people to imitate. They learn and make adjustments in their understanding of how they should live.
And great books provide examples of people we do not want to imitate as well. In the characters whose stories they read, children see the real-life consequences of sin and poor choices. In doing so, they gain opportunities to learn those lessons through reading instead of making those mistakes in their own lives.
When these examples of virtuous and non-virtuous living are presented in living books rather than moralistic tales or worksheets, they are much more believable and gripping. They have a power to grip children's hearts and inspire them in a way that other methods seem to lack.
You can be your children's personal guide
As a parent, you have the opportunity to do more than simply read with your children. You can use great books as natural springboards for formative discussion. After all, your children probably also have a real life hero—you! What a privilege for you to actively guide them in their understanding of virtue and character.
As you read with your children, talk about the characters you meet.
What do you admire in them?
How do you want to imitate them?
What character traits do you see in them?
What happens when they live with honesty, generosity, love, faithfulness, etc.?
Is one character always good or always bad?
What happens when someone makes a mistake?
Is there forgiveness and reconciliation available?
These are just a few of the questions that will naturally spring up when you discuss the books you're reading with your kids.
Name the virtues in the books you read
One thing I wish I had done more intentionally with my own children was to name the virtues we saw in characters. For example, when we read Carry On, Mr. Bowditch, I could easily have mentioned that Nate marvelously demonstrated perseverance as he overcame multiple obstacles and accomplished much.
Our General Manager here at Sonlight served as a military officer for years. When I asked him if he thought it was important to actually name the virtues, he immediately responded with a resounding yes. He felt his military training focused on virtues and provided words that helped him recognize the behavior. He thinks it is helpful to have the term as a shortcut in communication.
Teaching virtue through stories and film
A fun and engaging introduction to the concept of finding virtues in stories comes in a new book by Robert Velarde, one of our curriculum developers here at Sonlight. In (affiliate link) The Wisdom of Pixar: An Animated Look at Virtue, Robert proposes that we can learn and understand various virtues through certain Pixar films (e.g., Toy Story and A Bug's Life).
I found the book both enjoyable and thought-provoking. Robert defines virtues as character qualities valued as being good in and of themselves. He highlights virtues such as
justice
friendship
humor
family
courage
ambition
love
I personally like Robert's approach to discussing virtue. He names and defines the virtue, takes a familiar story (in this case a Pixar film), explains what virtue he sees in it, and fleshes out his understanding of the quality in light of Scripture passages and thoughts about the passage. As an example:
On one level, A Bug's Life is an enjoyable family film about believing in yourself and doing the right thing. On another level, however, it addresses questions of justice by telling a story filled with injustice, persecution, and oppression bordering on slavery. Does this sound a bit melodramatic? It may be, considering it's just a movie about a bunch of bugs. The deeper point, however, is that the vice of injustice demands the virtue of justice.
God requires of us justice, kindness and humility (Micah 6:8), not injustice, cruelty, and pride.
Moreover, seeking justice may result in persecution and suffering. We are to pursue justice not because it is always easy—it's usually hard—but because it is right. Pursuing justice requires the virtue of courage and means taking a meaningful moral action in a troubled world.
What do you think? Since Jesus desires us to live virtuously, how do you think we ought to impart virtuous truths to ourselves and into the lives of our children? Should we just let our children pick them up as we live before them, or should we be more intentional in our approach? How does that look in your homeschool?
We asked new 2020 homeschoolers about the simple joys they have discovered this school year, and boy, did they tell us! Although many of these families were forced into schooling at home when schools closed or changed to virtual models, they find themselves pleasantly surprised at how delightful the experience has been.
In pre-pandemic days, they assumed they could never homeschool or that it would be an impossible sacrifice. Yet now with months of pandemic schooling under their belts, their perspective has drastically changed. Not only is homeschooling doable, it's enjoyable!
These families have experience firsthand the benefits of homeschooling and many want to continue this lifestyle even once schools reopen. Sarah L. expresses it so well, "Homeschooling is the blessing we didn’t expect. We are planning to continue as long as the Lord leads!"
More Quality Time as a Family
"I am so happy just to be spending extra time with my kids. I was always a little sad when summer ended and they went back to school. But now with Sonlight I get to enjoy being with them every day! I know they are getting a great education that is personalized to their needs, and they both say they want to keep homeschooling forever. That makes my heart glad." —Christy M.
"I love how much closer together we have all grown, especially our kids. Their relationships are stronger now than they were pre-pandemic because they get to spend more time together instead of in separate classrooms and going to different activities and trying to get homework done. We have more time to play games together, and we love reading new books together, which we had already been doing prior to homeschooling but now we can do way more. We know we will continue homeschooling at least one more school year, and then we'll see what God wants for us. But I'm so glad God revealed this path to us, and that we finally listened." —Regina N.
"The cuddles are amazing! My kids can reach out for hugs whenever they need them, and so can I. It has completely turned my older daughter into a hugger, and kept my younger daughter connected. Both were starting to pull away before, when they were attending public school. I figured it was part of gaining independence, and it is—but now I know it doesn’t have to be that way. I love being able to meet their social-emotional needs as well as their academic needs." —Lindsey C.
"I have enjoyed watching my children play together more and forming closer relationships with one another. They've spent more time together than they would have at school and two of my children went from constantly bickering to enjoying one another's company over the course of this year at home together. Our family is closer now, and while that doesn't have much directly related to education, it has been the greatest gift." —Caroline R.
"I’ve had more time with my daughter. We’ve become closer, and I have seen her anxiety go down. Homeschooling suits her very well!" —Johanna S.
A More Peaceful & Joyful Pace of Life
"I have enjoyed the fact that I schedule our day, and so we’re not constantly rushing. We read over long breakfasts, we lay outside in the sunshine to do science, and we take breaks when needed to focus on emotional and mental health, because we have the time!" —Meg R.
"I have a teaching degree and I have been a stay at home mom for the last 18.5 years. I always said that I would never homeschool. But after Covid hit and I saw how little my youngest two kids were learning and how stressful virtual school was for them, I knew I could do better. After using Sonlight book lists for years for reading ideas for my older kids, starting Sonlight curriculum this year was a no-brainer. The surprise for me was how much I absolutely love homeschooling. I love that my sons are getting exactly what they need academically every single day. I love that we are able to seamlessly weave our faith into their learning. I love that we can follow their interests to dive deeper into topics as they come up. I love the relaxed feeling that our home has every day. I’m not sure what God has for our family going forward, but I’m incredibly grateful for the gift of this school year with my sons." —Amy O. R.
"The biggest blessing of homeschooling for our family is the ability to hold space for joy. We aren’t boxed into a rigid schedule. This morning beautiful fluffy snow was coming down and my daughter loves the snow. We did our morning work and had the ability to go out and play and then pick it right back up. We fit school around our life which feels so much better than trying to squeeze life in around the school." —Tracy N. A.
"We're halfway through our first year now, and our lives are dramatically less stressful. My son is learning perseverance and is actually enjoying learning again. We can travel when we want, we all get enough sleep, and there's more unstructured time for his interests and character and spiritual development (mostly lots of LEGO building). My husband travels for work monthly and not having to worry about school stuff like packing lunches, waking up early, distance learning schedules or other external stressors is a huge relief. Overall I think we're all much happier and I'm surprised at how much I am enjoying this process. I plan to continue with my rising Kindergartener. I'm incredibly grateful for Sonlight and how wonderful it has been for our family." —Mari F.
Kids Are Learning So Much More
"While we considered homeschooling prior, Covid restrictions pushed us to finally take the leap. I'm so glad we did! Kids are engaged and learning and retaining more. I've been able to adapt the curriculum when things did or did not work as well for us. The kids are far less stressed and able to participate in activities of their interest more easily without worrying about the pressures of a traditional school day. They are enjoying being schooled at home as well and have no interest in returning to a traditional school setting." —Cassie W.
"Watching my kids come alive with learning! My 8 year old son just asked when we were going to start school other than math. I told him we’d need doing it all year and his eyes got huge. He told me 'I thought we were just reading stories!' I asked him about the different stories we read, and he was able to spout off the information. He then informed me that I was sneaky teaching him like that!" —Katie J. B.
"We've found that our life is so much less stressful with homeschool. Our kids are thriving and growing and we can meet them exactly where they are. I never thought homeschool could be so easy. Our 1st grader wants to be homeschooled through college, and we just started kindergarten with our 4 year old. Our favorite part is snuggling up together and reading so many amazing books. I'm learning right alongside my kids and am amazed at the wonderful rich experience they are getting." —Amber L. B.
Homeschooling Works for ADHD
"Love the flexibility and more relaxed atmosphere for our ADHD daughter. Loving taking off to do other things is great. Loving the read aloud a lot!" —Sherie D.
"I was a homeschooler, but never wanted to homeschool my children. Not because I had a bad experience, but because I didn’t want the extra responsibility. Then 2020, COVID, and school shut downs (which never opened up this school year at all) happened and I decided to pull my two boys out of the public school system. Have not regretted that decision even in the slightest. I love the flexibility that homeschool has given us. We are a military family, and live 1500 miles away from home. I’m not tied to a school schedule where we can only travel in the summer. 🙌🏼 Secondly, I know exactly where they are in their education. I know which subjects they struggle with and which to challenge them on. I’m no longer guessing at common core mathematics, and struggling to help them. In fact, it’s quite the opposite. I’m in complete control of the information they receive, and I know that the education they are receiving now is light years ahead of where they were in the public school system. My oldest was medicated for ADHD in public school, and is now off the medication. Instead of medicating, we just take trampoline breaks in between subjects. Love homeschool. Thankful for uncomfortable situations that forced me to find an alternative to traditional schooling." —Kelsey C.
Time for Extracurriculars
"We have found many benefits to homeschooling for my twice exceptional 9-year-old son and 6-year-old daughter. We do school in the morning and then have time for rest and activities in the afternoon. We have enjoyed horseback riding, swim practice, reading to the pets at our local Humane Society. My son has time for music therapy because we are not confined to these activities being after a full school day. When he was in public school, we spent our afternoons, evenings, and weekends avoiding meltdowns but now we can enjoy activities again!"—Rachel B.
Making Room for Our Christian Faith
"Coronavirus was the icing on the cake for us to homeschool. I was tired of being confined to school rules of attendance and when we could take a vacation and the kids constantly being sick. We wake up when we want, do not pack lunches or wash containers. We don't have to buy new clothes or shoes. We go to my moms whenever we want. My kids are no longer picked on by others. No more teachers to deal with. My kids get any special attention they may need. My 11 yr old has made over $700 doing work for neighbors since the virus started and shut down schools. School always comes first but now he sees the opportunities available by not being in school from 8-3! We have more time to love on each other as a family. It is especially important that my kids are not swallowed up in the ways of the world! We have been born again Christians since my son was about 1 yr old. This curriculum makes the Bible a certain priority. Hoping we never look back!" —Gina M.
"Greatest joy: bible time every morning (which was hard with public school schedule and all the after school activities), studying world history together (get to know the rest of the world is my goal for my child), much more bonding time and sleep time for all of us." —Queenie C.
"My husband has wanted me to homeschool all along. I was very hesitant. I come from a family of public school educators and knew they would never approve! I also didn’t think I could do it. This [pandemic] gave me the opportunity. I still received push back at first, but it has gone so well. The thing I have enjoyed most is starting our school days out every morning in the Word of God. It has led to lots of important and precious discussions with my kids that I wouldn’t have otherwise had." —Megan M.
"We had used Sonlight for pre-k but got pushed to homeschool for 2nd grade this year. Being more intentional with my kids' spiritual development has been wonderful. We started reading our devotional and working on memory verses together over breakfast every day, and it has been so great!" —Angela G.
Being My Child's Teacher
"Homeschooling has been such a blessing this year! It’s been the bright spot in a challenging year. My son is doing Kindergarten this year, and I cannot believe the progress he has made. He has gained so much confidence in his ability to learn, which I do not believe he would have gotten in a traditional school setting. I have been dreaming of the day that he would learn to read since he was born, and being able to be the one to teach him is something that I will cherish forever. Thank you, Sonlight!" —Elsie L.
"Being the one to see the lightbulb moments, not just hear about them. And man, not messing with my two baby boys' naps for drop off and pick up has been such a blessing!" —TiAnna A. W.
"I didn’t want to upset my kids more with all the mix-ups that being in school or remote learning would bring. I wanted peace and I truly believe we got it! My top silver linings:
Family time, especially with a new baby brother
No homework! Takes away pressure from all of us.
More at-home reading. This was a huge goal of mine to increase amount and enjoyment.
My understanding of homeschooling increased. I’ve gone from being the “It’s not for me” to “Anyone can do it!”
I love knowing where my kids are in their academics. I didn’t pay this close attention when they were in traditional school.
School is done in 2-3 hours rather than 8! So much time for other things like play, chores, music, sports, etc." —Jaime B.
"Our simply joy has been the blessing of deepening our relationships as a family, the freedom and ability to complete whatever course work is needed to move forward, and being able to study the Bible together every morning which has lead to deep and thoughtful conversations. My daughter is going off to college in August, and homeschooling her this year has without a doubt contributed to her success of being accepted into multiple colleges, which is allowing her to choose where she really wants to go. My son is thriving academically and socially. He is having so much fun learning, especially his science and math lessons. He will complete two years worth in both subjects in just one year! That’s how much he is just loving it! But it’s the bonding that has been the bow on top 💕." —Iris T.
Flexibility that Public School Can't Provide
"The great benefit for us has been meeting my kid where he is at. We can move at my child's pace and be many grades at once. I can also extend him by going out into other subjects or deeper into history etc. at school our only options were move up a grade or do work well below his level." —Tamara L.
"My simple joy is being blessed to ignore conversations about the local school board requirements and virtual learning shenanigans. It feels like a hug to myself to be able to walk away from that noise and have control over one consistent thing this year. #thanksSonlight" —Liz H.
One-on-one Attention
"I never intended to homeschool, but my son was falling so far behind in math in public school. The pandemic gave me the opportunity to give him the one-on-one attention he needs. Our relationship and bond has grown stronger and I wouldn’t change it for anything in the world." —Sarah S.
"More sleep for the kids and myself 😊 Complete confidence in God-centered curriculum and lots of family time. 👪 We like that when a behavior issue arises, instead of pushing it aside to send kids on the bus or run to a school activity we deal with it right away. Homeschooling next year as well!" —Alessia C. H.
Learning Alongside My Children
"After moving past the fear of all the unknowns of homeschooling, the flexibility and freedom found through Sonlight was both a relief and a joy. Having everyday laid out for us guiding us through this journey has been exactly what we needed and it's afforded us the time to simply enjoy homeschooling. And the fact that I get to learn along side my son is a bonus. Sonlight has truly made learning enjoyable, memorable, and stress free." —Maria S. J.
These are just a sampling of all the answers we got to the question about the silver linings to pandemic schooling. Truly, God can bring beauty out of ashes! These stories are a testament to how God works all things together for good.
"I did not have all the advantages your kids had," a woman told my husband. They were having an honest conversation about work. The woman shared what a hard time she has in life, bumping along from one part-time job to another.
So what advantages did this middle-aged woman lack? What can we do as parents to help prepare our children for productive work and employment? This post certainly doesn't cover everything, but here are three tips.
1. Teach the Skill of Punctuality
This woman has lost many jobs because she can't get to work on time. As I understand it, her parents never got anywhere on time. She never learned the skills and habits of punctuality.
I believe we can actively teach children how to show up unflustered and on time.
Consider this tip: When you have to go somewhere, you probably work backward in your mind to determine when you have to leave. So why not share this process with your kids? Simply think out loud in front of them.
You could say, "Well, we have to be at the co-op tomorrow morning at 9:00. It takes 20 minutes to drive there, so we need to leave at 8:40. We need 5 minutes to get out the door and packed into the car, so we should all be ready at 8:35. Our morning Bible reading takes 20 minutes, so we'll sit down for that at 8:15. Showers and breakfast take an hour, so we should get up at 7:15."
My mom says that even when she's running late, she hurries so much that she gets there in time. She watches the clock and says, "Okay, this is taking longer, what should I cut so that I still get there in time?" This is another process you could share out loud with your kids.
2. Show That Work Is Not a 4-Letter Word
We live in a society that encourages us to get out of work whenever we can. We essentially hear the message, "Wow, if you can scam the system and stay home and watch TV all day, you've won!"
But I do not agree with that. I'm here to tell you that work can be a good thing. I believe we are created for work of all kinds – from employment to parenting to cooking. That's why we get satisfaction from it.
Even before the fall, Adam had work to do. If someone just sits at home watching TV all day, he probably has an emptiness in his soul that can only be filled by productive, strategic work.
All of my kids are good workers, and I attribute that in large part to the fact that they learned from a young age that work can be a fulfilling and good thing. They all worked in the Sonlight warehouse from the time they were little, counting out and packing up Science kits. Let's help teach children the satisfaction of a job well done.
3. Teach Kids to Think and Learn
Sometimes employees can get in the mindset that simply showing up at work is enough. But for most bosses, that's not enough.
At the Sonlight office, we honor and reward people who think big-picture, who step back and come up with more effective ways to do their job. When the management team makes a decision that an employee doesn't think is best, we want that person to speak up and say "No, I don't think that's a good idea, and here's why."
My hope is that Sonlight helps you raise kids who can do just that. We're not training our kids to do the bare minimum and give the answer the teacher wants. We're raising them to always keep learning, to step back and think critically about things, to consider different sides of an issue and develop their own ideas. Those skills will serve students very well when they move on from school to the work of being an adult.
Nine-year-old Betsy was set up to fail. Primped and pampered her whole life, she had never done a chore or fixed her own hair. When circumstances changed and Betsy went to live with cousins on a Vermont farm, her new family expected her to pitch in and help. Naturally, Betsy made mistakes as she tried new skills and adjusted to her new life.
But her story doesn't end in failure.
If you've read Understood Betsy from History / Bible / Literature B, you know that Betsy blooms as she learns new skills and discovers she's capable of far more than she ever thought. The country air and some reasonable hard work only make her happier, stronger, and more confident.
As Betsy exemplifies, failure is a perfectly natural part of learning and growth. We all know this intellectually. But we live in a society that places a big stigma on failure.
As parents, we need to teach our kids how to fail well and not to fear failure.
I actually think homeschooling can provide the perfect environment for kids to stretch their wings, try new things, fail, and succeed.
Homeschooling Provides an Environment Where Kids Can Safely Fail and Try Again
Compare this to a school setting. In many schools, children receive a grade on every bit of work they complete. When every math assignment comes back with red ink and a score that counts toward a final semester grade, how much pressure does that put on kids to succeed every time? I wonder if this pushes kids to either become obsessed with perfection or just stop caring. I certainly don't think it encourages kids to try things at which they might not succeed. It reminds me of an article about the inverse power of praising your children. If they know they won't get a perfect score, why even try?
But homeschooled kids can learn through mastery. They can try new things without the constant pressure of a grade stamped on their paper. They can mess up their math problems and then stick with the concept until they actually learn it. As my son Luke explains so well, failure is okay on the road to mastery.
Homeschooled children have free time to take up computer programming, art, video production, cooking, or a thousand other interests that all require trying, failing, and trying again. And they can do this without the constant pressure of grades on each assignment.
In society at large, failure of any sort can carry a huge stigma. May we instead teach our children that failure is not the end of the story. Just like Betsy, let's help them learn how to fail … and then how to keep on trying.
Books with Characters Who Fail and Learn
Sonlight books show how failure and learning go together. Believe it or not, I consider a book's perspective on failure when I determine what to include in Sonlight's curriculum. I don't choose books where the characters are perfect. I avoid stories where children always make the best decision and only do things at which they know they'll excel.
Sonlight Characters as Models of Proactive Strength
Do you remember the scene where Caddie Woodlawn skates out onto the thin ice? Of course, she falls through and a fun adventure turns into an emergency. With no time to call an adult for help, her brother Tom snaps into action and rescues her.
How do we raise children to be proactive in times of need? How can we help them learn to use their own strength, wits and gifts?
I just finished About Average, the new book by Andrew Clements. In line with The School Story and Frindle, Clements presents a main character who doesn't just react to situations. Jordan Johnston thinks about how she wants to live … and then lives it! Because of her daily choice to be proactive, she's ready for action when a big need comes.
Of course, Jordan doesn't think she's doing anything special. Her friends seem to have amazing talents, but she feels very ordinary. The real key for Jordan is that she does not just sit by passively. She tries lots of different activities to see what she enjoys. She soaks up any chance to learn new things. When a classmate starts to pick on her, Jordan chooses to respond with kindness. Without realizing it, Jordan cultivates all sorts of skills and virtues.
And in the end, when a terrifying tornado heads straight for the school, Jordan has already practiced taking charge and stepping up. All of the skills she's learned throughout the book come into play. She uses those skills and ingenuity and ends up saving her classmates.
The ending may be a bit far-fetched, but the message is true: Ordinary kids can think about their world and solve problems without waiting for an adult to tell them exactly what to do. They can act without being paralyzed by fear of failure.
I believe that books like these can inspire our children to live intentionally (under the protection and day-to-day guidance of their parents, of course). Such stories provide models of ordinary, imperfect children who take responsibility for their actions and choose how to live.
That's why I include books in Sonlight programs where kids think, plan and solve problems—strong kids who don't just sit back and let life happen to them. Sometimes the characters fail. But they always grow as a result. May these stories inspire our children to do great things!
Homeschoolers tend to do better than their traditionally-schooled peers on standardized tests. But once when I spoke at a homeschool group, I noticed a subtle, troubling attitude toward academics. I heard comments like: "Oh, we probably won't get to math this year," or "We're just focusing on character training this year. We're really easing off other studies."
I got the sense that, to these moms, anyway, academics just weren't that important.
I know that education is not about test scores. I love that homeschooling lets you tailor your plans to your family. And maybe you do need to take a short break from intense academics to focus on character issues.
And with few exceptions, equipping children for their callings includes the pursuit of excellence in everything, including academics.
Such excellence will mean different things for different children (and may or may not result in great test scores). But the point is that when we challenge our children academically, we are helping them reach their individual, God-given potential.
1. Academic Challenges Build Grit
When we challenge our students academically, they learn how to work hard and overcome challenges. Whatever our children are called to, they will need to know that they can face challenges, work hard and overcome. How will they learn this lesson if we never prod them?
2. Many Careers Require Excellent Academic Performance
Many, many careers require a solid academic education. If God calls our children to college, seminary, the military, vocational trade school, the mission field, or elsewhere, they need to have the academic skills to succeed there.
Challenging our children academically can help uncover their calling.Let's say your child is called to the medical field. Giving him opportunities to excel in math and science can help him discover and then fulfill that calling.
4. An Academic Education Prepares Our Children for Ministry
A solid academic education prepares our students to be salt and light in the world. If our kids are to have an impact in this world, they need to be able to read, think, talk, and pray about the world. They need to be able to relate to people who believe differently than they do, are unfamiliar with the God of the universe, or hail from a culture that is unlike the one they come from.
Homeschooling is often a balancing act. We don't want to focus solely on academics and push our children too hard. But we don't want them to get off too easily either! We want to help them reach their potential—whether that includes getting into technical school, acing the SAT, or pursuing a field they've never even considered.
We don't need to do what many public schools seem to feel they must do and simply focus on getting kids through the system. We want our students to pursue excellence; we want to equip them for God's service.
I imagine you are already doing that. Sonlight is here to help as you persevere in that worthy task! Any ideas of how we can come alongside you even more effectively?
Did you know that some homeschool programs will teach your children for you? You can put your child in front of a computer and then go about your day. Your kids can be homeschooled without your being involved. This is a hands-off homeschool approach.
I'm not anti-technology. I've seen programs work beautifully! So it's not the computer programs themselves that I have issues with. My concern comes when we use these programs to replace what I believe is a parent's role.
Hands-on Homeschooling
I see the allure of hands-off homeschooling. It's so easy and convenient. But while that might be the best option for a few families, it is definitely not the Sonlight approach.
Annie Dillard reminds us of the obvious:
"How we spend our days is, of course, how we spend our lives."
So how do you want your family to spend its days?
Parent-intensive Homeschooling
Sonlight is about families learning together. You and your kids will read, talk, and discover together. Your typical Sonlight day includes snuggles with your little ones and real conversation with your older students.
It's not a hands-off homeschool approach. Instead, Sonlight helps you fulfill your God-given duty to guide your children in life. We give you the tools, schedules, and resources you need to be confident as you homeschool and invest in your children's lives.
The result of your central involvement is that your children grow up learning that you are a great source of loving wisdom when they want to talk or need advice.
What a privilege for parents who have cultivated that sort of family atmosphere!
Imagine the Adults You Aim to Raise
When your children become adults, do you want them to engage with you in face-to-face, attentive conversation? Or do you want them to be constantly preoccupied by technology? Will your adult children be able to ignore their gadgets in order to relate with their families – at the dinner table, in social settings, or when guests are visiting?
Your kids will naturally learn to use technology. The question is whether they'll also learn the art of really listening, of conversing, of maintaining thoughtful discussion. Hands-off homeschooling can't teach these skills the same way that family-centered, parent-intensive homeschooling can. If you like the idea being heavily involved in your child's education, the Sonlight approach is for you.
Family-centered homeschooling also builds precious family memories, shared experiences, and bonding times you will treasure for decades to come.
