Apr. 16, 2021

But I Don’t Have the Patience to Homeschool

By Denise Dahm
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But I Don’t Have the Patience to Homeschool

This retort was my mental refrain anytime I encountered someone who homeschooled their children: I don't have the patience to homeschool. I loved the idea of homeschooling, but just knew that I lacked the tolerance to spend all day, every day shepherding my young children through reading, writing, and arithmetic.

Enter COVID. Like so many others, we decided to try homeschooling after a failed attempt at virtual learning last spring. I knew in my heart that home education might be the best option for our family, but I wondered how I would juggle teaching and parenting without losing my cool daily. I figured that patience was a virtue. Some are born with it, and some…well, some of us are not.

We have certainly had our ups and downs this year, and I have relied heavily on the wisdom of other homeschooling moms who shared their experience so feely. What I’ve heard over and over is that very few of them felt naturally endowed with an excess of patience and tolerance. Instead, they embraced homeschooling as an opportunity to develop patience, all in the service of strengthening their relationship with their children.

So, how did they do it? Here is a breakdown of five practical tips I’ve picked up over the last few months for cultivating patience and diffusing tension during the homeschool day.

1. Start Your Day Over

We all have bad days, and things can snowball out of control rapidly. During a phone conversation with a friend on one of those bad days, she suggested that we all (myself and my children) count to three and start our day over.

Although starting over seemed like a laughably simple solution, it worked!

Now, when I feel myself tensing up, or see my kids getting overwhelmed with frustration, I know what to do:

  • acknowledge the situation
  • take a deep breath
  • count 1—2—3
  • start the day or the lesson over

2. Relinquish Control

So many times, my tension and irritation originate from clinging too tightly to my agenda for the day. One of the benefits of homeschooling is that we have the freedom to follow learning’s natural ebb and flow, chase down rabbit holes, and focus on the educational opportunities that present themselves.

I have found that when I am able to let go even just a little bit of my bright ideas and follow my children’s lead, it goes a long way toward increasing our peace and joy in learning, and my patience with my children

3. Pray

Although it is a goal of mine to start each day with prayer, it’s also an invaluable tool throughout the day. When agitated, I try to pause and ask God for help in the moment. I ask him to help me do my best and to remind me that my little ones are doing their best, too. This is not novel advice, but for some reason it’s so hard to remember when we’re in the thick of things!

Even a simple prayer will do: “God, please help me to be patient with these little souls in front of me” or “God, please help all of us to do your will today.”

4. Manage Expectations

We call it the witching hour at our house. You might have another colorful name for it. But, each day, around 4:30-5:00 pm the wheels seem to come off the wagon around here. We’ve all had a long day by then, nerves are a bit frayed, and our coping skills are nearly exhausted.

I have come to dread this time of day, steeling myself for tantrums and meltdowns as I try to prepare dinner, help our older boys with schoolwork, and keep my younger ones engaged in some type of activity. I tend to shift quickly into reactive mode, bustling around trying to get this child to quiet down, this one to focus, this one to leave me alone so I can just “do this one thing!”

Not surprisingly, these afternoons often end in tears for at least one of us, sometimes all of us! 

Eventually, it dawned on me that I get frustrated and flummoxed every day by something that should be completely expected and predictable.

My children are just doing what children do when they get tired and bored.  I can keep snapping and picking at them, which isn’t working too well, or I can accept things as they are and do my part to alleviate our stress.

I started by making time to read aloud in the afternoons, an activity we all enjoy that promotes closeness and camaraderie. After having some dedicated time with me as reader, my young children were much more content with independent playtime while I made dinner or helped our older boys. Whenever possible, I tried to celebrate the little ones’ attempts to help me make dinner by enlisting them in setting the table, folding napkins, or getting out the utensils. Again, it comes back to expectations. It probably wasn’t too realistic of me to expect some quiet time to myself at this time of day. So, instead of shooing everyone out of the kitchen, I now try to involve them in cooking and other simple chores whenever possible. Recalibrating my expectations for this particular part of our day has increased my patience with myself and my family.

5. Practice Self-care

We’ve all heard the spiel on the airplane to first place the oxygen masks on ourselves, and then assist our small children. If I am frazzled, depleted, or stressed out, I will have nothing left to give my children. 

As an introvert, I need a bit of quiet time each day. But since I feel guilty scheduling this time or setting boundaries with my children, I never get the time alone I crave. I have thankfully learned from the experience of others that it is perfectly okay to plan a daily quiet time for myself and for my children.

Once I have taken that time to recharge, I am then much better equipped to engage with my children and respond to them in a loving and patient way.

While I don’t put all of these suggestions into practice every day, I am content with progress, not perfection.  I have learned that it doesn’t really matter how much patience I have, but rather how much I’m willing ask for more and reach for one of these solutions when I find myself falling short. COVID gave me the push I needed to try homeschooling, and the wisdom of homeschooling moms before me has given me the tools I need to enjoy this journey with my children.  

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Apr. 14, 2021

A Reality Check for Your Deepest Homeschool Fears

By Eva Krasova
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A Reality Check for Your Deepest Homeschool Fears

By now, you know the drill: every once in a while, you read an article, talk to a homeschooling friend, or discover a new educational blog… and pretty soon your head is spinning. Should we do more? Better? Are we doing enough? Are my kids behind?

I get it. You're afraid. 

You're afraid your kids won't learn what they need to know to be successful in life. You worry you're not qualified to teach your kids. You fear that one day you might realize that you failed. 

Take a deep breath, my friend. 

Learning advanced algebra by a specified date doesn't guarantee happiness in life. Following every twist and turn of your curriculum doesn't automatically lead to a fulfilled life or financial stability. 

We often have the same unrealistic expectations about homeschooling as we do about life in general: perfection.

All-or-nothing, high standards, focus on the results, pushed by fear all the way. But life (and homeschooling) is never perfect. And it shouldn’t be.

Living Is a Journey of Discovery

This journey isn’t perfect, and it never will be. Do pay attention, though, because each turn of the path requires an adjustment.

Try to stop comparing your journey to someone else’s. Listen to your gut. Remember, your kids are watching you. And if they see you taking chances, tackling new things, correcting, bouncing back from setbacks, growing, and learning, so will they. 

They’ll begin to follow their inner voice, developing independent learning skills, self-reliance, and confidence as they go. It’s true, you don't know what's next. But you're not here to control their learning. Your job isn’t to prepare your kids for college. Your kids will prepare themselves for their future. On their own terms.

Let your kids learn to trust their choices, navigate their learning, practice how to get started, and get things done. It won't be perfect. But trust that it will be exactly what they need.

Have comfort in knowing that you and your kids are always learning. You’re learning from books, life, siblings, museums, documentaries, playing games, talking to strangers, as well as the homeschool curriculum you picked. 

Slow down. You don’t have to do all the things. Everything. All the time. 

Curriculum Is Merely a Guide 

Your curriculum is not written to be followed to a tee. It’s not here to control you. It’s here to guide you. Its purpose is to direct your effort but not to hold you prisoner. 

Be responsive to the cues your children give you. Observe. Listen. Give it time. Let it grow.

When you lie at night wondering… 

  • Is it okay to work across the schedule instead of up and down each day?
  • Is it okay to do homeschool in the afternoon, at night, or on weekends?
  • Is it okay to take a day off?
  • Is it okay to ...

The answer is almost always yes.

We don’t trust ourselves enough. But you know what?

You’ve Got This. You Can’t Fail.

If you go into homeschooling with the mindset that you can’t fail, then the formative choices you make around the quality and quantity of schooling will be more in tune with the whole range of your kids’ educational needs.  

When you begin to feel anxiety about skipping a particular topic or about taking part of the day off, tell yourself some good things: “I’m the best teacher for my children. I trust myself. I’m not alone.”               

Fear often comes from deep insecurities. One of the biggest myths around homeschooling is that in order to do it right, we must be qualified. This fear is what keeps us forever discounting what we do have to offer. And we have a lot to offer: love, experience, compassion, safe boundaries, stability, security, nourishment, wisdom, sleepless nights, a shoulder to cry on, cookies, hugs, and a passionate desire for our kids to succeed.

I know for a fact that no matter how tired or busy you are right now, you’ve worked fiercely to make sure your children thrive. Today and every day. 

But there is a kind of short-sighted preoccupation that happens on some homeschool days. We fixate on the number of pages, the problems completed, and the pages read. The checklist becomes an all-consuming goal. Before we know it, the seemingly ordinary day is turned into a race to get it done no matter what. The kids are not on board; we lose a sense of perspective. 

Breathe in. Breathe out, my friend.

Now think: Is this topic vital for your child’s success in life? Can it be learned later today? Next month? In a year? Can it be learned differently? Is this truly necessary? 

How often is great effort dedicated to fitting in something that is not supposed to fit in? 

So much brain power channeled into doing something that doesn’t have to be done?

Preparing Children for a Future None of Us Knows

We have some funny ideas about success in life. We sometimes think we can predict future success by the number of math problems or spelling words they complete today. 

Really?

The truth is, we don’t know who our children are going to want to be when they grow up: life extension technicians, space travelers, bloggers? We don’t know what they will be passionate about: quantum computing, space tourism, self-driving cars? We don’t have a clue about opportunities that will come up for them or what life will be like in ten, fifteen, twenty years.

When you go to bed worrying: What do my kids need to learn to succeed in life? How can I best prepare them for a grown-up life, know that you’re not supposed to have all the answers. Not right now, and maybe never.

But you can always, in the words of American poet Mary Oliver, “keep some room in your heart for the unimaginable.” And trust that you and your child will figure it out as you go.  

Let go of the outcome. Your kids are their own people, in their own path, and they need to find their own way.

It means trial and error, mess, learning opportunities that come out of setbacks, more mess, skipping parts nobody cares about, and developing patience and even appreciation for the times when things don’t come out as you had envisioned them.  

Reach Out to an Expert

Getting a good education doesn't have to mean devoting strained and frustrated hours to following every little bit of a particular curriculum. Or sticking to a certain schedule. Or trying to live a particular philosophy.

Homeschooling is all about having the courage to blaze your own path. The choice is yours. You can change things up, skip this, add that. You can learn outside, inside, on the mountain top, or in the soup kitchen. 

Most importantly, remember that you are never alone. Mentors, guides, and advisors are always available to help if you are truly questioning yourself.  People used to say it takes a village to raise a child. I invite you to be part of the Sonlight village, and we’ll be part of yours. 

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Apr. 12, 2021

Stories from New Homeschoolers: How We Know Our Kids Are Growing

By Sonlight
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How We Know Our Kids Are Growing

We asked new 2020 homeschoolers to chime in with their thoughts about measuring progress. We asked:

This school year with Sonlight, your kids have not taken quizzes/tests or received letter grades. So how do you know they are learning? What kind of growth have you observed, academically or otherwise? And are you satisfied with the progress they have made this year at home with you?

These parents blew us away with their confidence. There were no wishy-washy guesses or uncertain answers. They know their kids are growing. Because they've been teaching their children themselves day by day, they have intimate knowledge of exactly what their children have mastered.

And, wow, have they mastered a lot! These families have seen incredible progress in reading skills and math mastery. Plus they have savored in-depth discussions as a family and observed their children recalling material from lessons weeks and months prior. These Sonlight students are learning, and the learning is sticking. Here's what they said:

Their Progress Is Obvious! I'm There to See it Firsthand

"My kids were previously in private school. They did no letter or number grades in elementary, and we only saw their finished work a few times a year. Assessments were subjective and often obviously cut-and-pasted from another child's report! With Sonlight, I hear my kids answer questions, make connections, and ask for more information (and more reading aloud) every day. I can see so much growth in their knowledge and pride in their learning. I think that what I'm teaching is valuable, and they have picked up and internalized that perspective. They're always saying, 'I bet no one at [my old school] has learned about this yet!'" —Emma T. L.

"Both older kids in school will ask questions about their work and apply school to every day things. I see their wheels turning. I see them gaining confidence because of the work and not having to worry about the stress from testing."—Jackie S.

"I see my first grader using math in every day life (adding and dividing). I also knew what level of books he was reading when we left school and where he is now. He’s able to make connections in his science and history reading when we go on field trips, or see something else in a different book, or when a similar topic pops up again. My first grader is using Level B and my 4-year-old just started Science K. The youngest is learning about ants, and my oldest instantly recognized the honey pot ant from his reading 6 months ago. It’s also a lot of fun to look back at the language arts worksheets. To flip back through all of the work from an entire year, you can see how much progress has been made." —Amber L. B.

"I know my daughter is learning and progressing by looking at her work now and her work at the beginning of the year. We can have conversations about topics we have studied and she can discuss the information. We watch films and documentaries to extend the topic, and she understands the material." —Pamela R.

We Have Rich Discussions

"The biggest thing for me was realizing all 3 of my little kids are actually auditory learners. This explained some gaps in their previous traditional school settings. It also meant that all the read-alouds and read togethers have been a perfect fit for them! I am often amazed at what they recall and can discuss intelligently. We struggled a bit with poetry at the beginning, but today at week 27 it was incredible listening to them pick up on different meanings and analogies that they were totally clueless about at week 1! We had such a lovely conversation about them. Today the older two were reminiscing thru their readers and showing each which ones they would just love to read too! One was particularly sad that she finished a book today (she really loved it). The science has them wanting to learn more and more. Some of the things I keep thinking are too difficult, but I am clearly underestimating them as they just want to learn more and more and grasp so much! I will also say, mine all have some learning challenges. Not having stressful tests; tons of worksheets/busywork; being able to fidget, snuggle and flop on the couch instead of holding it together at a desk all day has also been a game changer." —Becky S.

"We are a little more than halfway through our curriculum, and I was scared with the task of teaching my first grade boy how to read. Well, 6 months later and he is reading, confident, and telling his younger brother how excited he is for him to learn how to read next year. As far as what they know or are learning I was touched, and proud when an hour after reading chapter 4 of Abandoned on the Wild Frontier, my son asked me how slaves were treated on a plantation and why couldn't many slaves read or write. We had a half hour conversation about these topics. WOW!!! I love Sonlight for these unique and meaningful conversations that are shaping my kids characters in ways I could not have expected."—Julia R.

"My daughter (15, 10th grade) and I have had some amazing discussions about the books she’s read and some that we are reading together. She also amazes me with the things that she picks up on and remembers from the history spine A History of US. We’ve watched a few movies about specific time periods such as North and South about the Civil War, and she can add in context, extra information, or make educated guesses about what will happen next based on the events and historical figures she’s learned about. ❤️" —Wendy M. G.

My Kids Tell Me They Are Learning

"I think this is one of the many blessings of homeschooling. I don’t have to wait for a quiz or test to see how my daughter is doing; I’m constantly assessing her understanding and making adjustments to best suit her needs. And really that’s all assessments need to be right? A litmus test of what they’re learning and how I’m teaching.
We’re working through the Kindergarten curriculum this year and her growth has been amazing. We’ve kept a journal for the creative expression activities and can see amazing growth there as well. She has gone from dictating a sentence to writing several on her own! We’ve been working through the readers, and just after the new year things really clicked. She picked a children’s Bible she had been gifted and just started reading. She looked up at me, beaming and said, 'Mommy, I can really read!' She can see the growth, which has built confidence and a love for learning. I’m so grateful for all the ways Sonlight has been a blessing to our family.❤️" —Cassie-Ryan R.

"My daughter has told me often that she learns far more at home. Other days she has asked to go back to school because there she can tune a teacher out. She says she can't tune us out! Her father teaches math and science, and I teach everything else. Our discussions are so much richer and our family is stronger because of homeschooling with Sonlight." —Heather F.

My Children Love Learning

"Not having tests, grades, and stress has been like heaven for all of our family. My son learns because it is interesting for him and not because he needs a grade. The result after the tests was that he forgot what he memorized. Now, no pressure at all. I see that he is learning because he can talk to me about all the countries we have learned, give me his opinions about cultures, etc. And also I can see how he is able to read, understand and have his own opinions. Besides, by teaching him, I can see what are his weaknesses and I can help him with them. Another important thing for me is that I can solve his doubts about issues like faith, death, war, suffering, etc. and not letting those to be explained by other people. For my son and for my family, Sonlight is a blessing." —Jenny S.

"Before we started homeschooling, I never realized my kids had test anxiety. We know they are learning and retaining because they are applying their knowledge in everyday life. My child who hated reading now reads for pleasure. Two of my other children have started writing novels. And my oldest daughter is creating a coloring book for her younger siblings. When they were able to release the stress of tests, it allowed them to fall back in love with learning, creating, and exploring." —Ashley D. C.

High Scores, Mastered Skills, and Reaching Goals

"New 2020 homeschool mama here! My son had a hard enough time sitting through 30 minutes of speech therapy in front of the computer, so I knew online learning was not going to work for him. Not only has my son's reading and comprehension improved, he has reached all his goals in his IEP. My daughter was not supposed to start Kindergarten until this fall. She is already reading, has finished her math ahead of schedule, and has started her math for next year. They love having school at home and were so excited to look at the new catalog when it came in the mail! I have been asked if I am sending my kids back to public school in the fall and I tell them no way! My husband and I are totally satisfied and in love with Sonlight! Thank you, Sonlight, for making school fun for my kids and me. " — Dawn C.

"Just had this conversation with relatives, LOL! We know they're learning because they can successfully complete the material. Also their skills have noticeably improved." —Elyse E.

"My daughter has gone from 71% reading accuracy to 97% in the last year. She has met all the 2nd grade standards for the end of the year. (She was about a year behind one year ago.) Thanks, Math U See! 🙂 She now reads grade level material and only really needs to work on fluency. She was probably reading at a mid-K level at the end of first grade. Her reading comprehension is something like 99%. Thank you, read-alouds! 🙂 I can only imagine where her history, science, and literature knowledge stand, being almost done with HBL A. I am super proud of her and myself. I was terrified to not do her justice." —Angela G. S.

My Kids Talk About What They've Learned

"I know my son is learning when he tries to reenact lessons from history or that we read in science when he plays. Sometimes he'll say, 'Hey Mama, remember when...' about something we read months ago just to see if I remember or to compare it to something we currently learning about." —Julie Metott

"My 7-year-old meets my husband at the door daily to tell him all about the things he learned that day. His natural curiosity has flourished, and the all-boy in him is grateful he doesn’t have to sit in a seat all day like he did in school. My 9-year-old is sad we’re almost done with all the books for the year, and she’s scouted out the new curriculum and looking forward to next year. I can’t complain about the desire and love they both have for learning. 😊" —Theresa C.

"Without the grades and tests my kids learned to enjoy learning. One Sunday Shaylin went up to a member of our congregation and told him all about narwhals. Until Shay told him about them, he thought they were a mythological creature. The man she was telling is a teacher. (For the record, he’s not a science teacher, and I’m not making fun of him or thinking he’s uneducated. I found out a lot of people thought they were mythological.) He came up to me, impressed with the amount she knew and applauded that we could allow her to really explore her own education." —Katie J. B.

Most of the parents quoted above did not originally plan to homeschool. But they have been successful at teaching their children thanks to Sonlight curriculum. They know their kids are growing! You really can homeschool, too. And Sonlight can help.

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Apr. 7, 2021

How Moms & Dads Parent Together as a Homeschool Team

By Sarita
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How Moms & Dads Parent Together as a Homeschool Team

I am so thankful for my husband John's role in our family. In fact, he's been so instrumental in my children's lives, it's almost annoying. What do I mean? Well, not that I'm bitter or anything, but when my children wrote their essays for college on who was the most influential person in their lives, every one of them listed their dad.

I couldn't help thinking, "Now wait a minute! I'm the one who did all the work!"

  • Who homeschooled them?
  • Who drove them to swim meets and stayed to cheer?
  • Who was present every minute of every day?

Sure John's role was important, but he was working. How is it possible that he had such an impact?

Although I can muster quite a bit of feigned mom indignation, I seriously couldn't be more pleased that the kids respect their father and have learned so much from him.

But their answers were the catalyst for some thought-provoking questions about the role and influence of dads within the home and homeschool.

The Impact of Fathers: A Little Active Presence Goes a Long Way

While I know a number of exceptions to this generalization, I would say many dads feel somewhat removed from the homeschool environment. They leave for work early, come home late, and often miss out on the day to day experiences of learning that moms get to experience. This doesn't mean, however, that dads have to sit on the sidelines!

I would challenge dads: Don't be discouraged if you feel you don't have the presence you would prefer at home. Use the time you do have, even if it's only a few minutes of time together, sharing stories on the couch in the evening. Make an effort to ask questions, listen, and bond with your children and they will treasure your interest and thrive on your attention.

Although I was our primary homeschool instructor, John gave counsel to our children when they needed him most. When one of my more sensitive children was in tears, John would sit with her for an hour or more asking questions and giving an adult perspective and a listening ear.

Dad's Perspective Is Strategic for Homeschool Success

Because John was a bit removed from the minute-by-minute quality of our homeschool, I think he could sometimes offer a more objective perspective to what was happening. He would notice issues I didn't because I had been too mired in them to see. John's input helped our family gain insight that kept us on a good path toward our goals.

John and I embrace our differences as we realize we truly complement one another. Where I am weak, he is strong and vice versa. We choose to focus on each other's strengths instead of noticing all the weaknesses and failures of the other person.

We are a parenting/homeschool team.

I want to challenge moms in this way: Please celebrate your husband's role with your children and in your homeschool. Don't belittle or begrudge his level of involvement, but help him find creative ways to interact with your children. Your kids will feel his intentional pursuit of relationship as well as the level of your respect and friendship with their father. In fact, they may write their college essays about it later!

For the Single Moms or Dads

If you are a single mom or a single dad, I hope this talk of teamwork doesn't just lay a fresh burden on your shoulders. Instead, I hope it encourages you that you do have a Helper.

My prayer for the single parents who are homeschooling is that God would sustain you just as he promises to be a Father to the fatherless. As you balance your many roles, I ask the Lord for an extra dose of patience and sensitivity. I pray for your endurance as you carry double weight in raising your children. And finally, I pray God will provide the counter-balancing adult role models your children need.

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Apr. 2, 2021

Why Sonlight Doesn't Insulate Children from Non-Christian Ideas or Religions

By Sarita
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THE OUTWARD FOCUSED HOMESCHOOL

I've noticed two overarching styles of preparing Christian students to engage with the world around them. One approach seems primarily inward-focused, seeking to keep children from non-Christian ideas and teaching them to defend their faith and know how to answer critics. This approach can carry a lot of good, but I don't think it encompasses all we're called to do as Christian parents.

The other approach seems more outward-focused. It stems from the fact that we are not merely called to hold down the fort of Christianity, but also to go out to the ends of the earth and spread Christ's love through the world. We are called to raise our children to be ambassadors for Christ in the world (2 Corinthians 5:20).

To do that, I believe we must both teach our children answers to critics' questions and teach them how to wisely and lovingly engage with the critics themselves. We don't want to simply beat non-Christians in debates; we want to listen to them and treat them as people made in God's image.

Even when we ultimately disagree, I believe we can learn from people who believe and live differently than we do – and share Christ's love for them in the process.

We want to raise up young adults who are not afraid of non-Christians. I don't think this can come from a purely defensive approach.

Engaging with Other Faiths

One way this expresses itself in Sonlight's curriculum is through our conviction that education should not ignore ideas that conflict with a Christian worldview, but that it should gradually help children engage with those ideas.

Taking this a step further, we at Sonlight believe that the best way for children to engage challenging ideas is within the home, under their parents' guidance.

Your children will encounter secular and anti-Christian ideas someday—surely by the time they are young adults. So here's the question I think we all need to ask:

Would you rather be your children's guide as they gradually encounter challenging ideas? Or would you rather they face these ideas for the first time when they're out on their own, just hoping their friends and/or unknown teachers will guide them wisely then?

I believe it is far better for Christian parents to prepare their children to engage such ideas within the home, than to simply hope they will learn such skills from others.

Sonlight Helps You Discuss Other Religions

Fortunately, Sonlight gives you the tools to guide your children. Through the books you read together and the guidance in the Instructor's Guides, Sonlight opens the door for natural, meaningful conversations with your children right from the start. One long-time Sonlight mom shared her experience:

"Sonlight helped me teach my children to think. The books are chosen to spark conversations you might not otherwise think of having. We tackled tough subjects that I am not sure are covered in other curriculums, such as racism and prejudice, other religions and cultures, fear, idol worship, parent/child interaction, and communication to name a few. And we didn't just talk about the topic and check it off the list. We read a book that made us feel we were in the situation and allowed us to really dig deep into our thoughts and emotions and use scripture to evaluate them.

"Because of the books Sonlight chose – ones that other curriculums often steer clear of – I was confident my children could think for themselves and that they knew what and why they believed. Also, that they had already thought about many of the things they would be encountering away from home."

Tonya

If this idea intrigues you, I highly suggest you read Why Sonlight Uses Certain Books that Some Homeschoolers Won't Touch. (I think an even better title for this article might be How to Strengthen Your Child's Spiritual Immune System.)

Even as Sonlight helps you give your children a firm foundation in a Christian worldview, we also help you teach your children about other cultures, beliefs and ideas. Books about other parts of the world help your children see that people might live differently than we do, but that they are still intelligent people just like us, who need Jesus' love and salvation just as much as we do. This helps prepare students for life once they leave your home.

Two other long-time Sonlight moms shared:

"After having used Sonlight for Kindergarten through 12th grade, my son is a critical thinker and can have a deep intelligent conversation with anyone, even with others whose beliefs do not line up with his. He knows what he believes and WHY! (Thank you, Sonlight!)"

Barbara W

"My children learned to read, think and communicate. Once they can do that, they can face any type of situation, from college to job and beyond."

Sunflower


Five of the B children hang out and study together. Their mom Michelle writes: "We see the benefits of homeschooling with Sonlight: mature, critical-thinking young adults with an ability to engage the world around them."

Equipping Children to Do God's Will

The point of all this comes back to Sonlight's overarching educational goal: to help parents raise up children equipped to do whatever God calls them to do. That directs everything we do in our curriculum. We believe it entails excellent academic preparation, a firm foundation in Scripture, and helping children develop a heart for the world. We also believe that by the time children leave the nest, they must be prepared to wisely and lovingly engage with people who believe things contrary to their own worldview.

Is this an important value to you as well? I know it can sound a bit scary, but God has equipped you to teach your children. You CAN guide them well, and Sonlight will walk with you each step of the way throughout their education. Our children ultimately belong to God, and we pray that God draws them to Himself, preparing them to be ambassadors for Christ in this world that He loves so much.

A Sonlight mom wrote last month that her daughter's study of different religions is "giving her great inner conviction." Praise God! Here is the longer story:

"I continue to be incredibly impressed and excited every day about what my 11-year-old daughter is studying [in HBL F: Eastern Hemisphere]. These past two weeks we have been studying Islam verses Christianity in history, while also reading a fiction book about a woman surviving life in a harem. In [Bible] we are studying Lee Strobel's book about the evidence for Christ. As we wade through these waters, I get a little skittish wondering if teaching my daughter about Islam, Muhammad and the passion of that faith will lean her away from what I know to be true. I know she has to make her own decision one day, but of course as her mom, I want her on truth's side. I was so grateful for all of the evidence Sonlight added in the parent's notes, and for bravely including all of the books to show all sides of the religious issues in the Middle East.

"The impact on my daughter surfaced during a conversation we were having. I asked her point blank, 'How do you know that the Christ we follow is the one to follow, and that he is the Son of God?' She said, 'Because Muhammad is dead and Jesus is alive.' Yeah!

"I really do believe that her studying the different religions of the Eastern Hemisphere this year is giving her great inner conviction. Also, the Mother Theresa book opened her eyes on how to treat people of different faiths. It's all so timely because we are rubbing shoulders more with different religions, especially as a mosque has moved into our little mid-America suburb."

bobbie100

This is exactly why we study different religions in Sonlight. We want to help students know why they believe what they do, and to prepare them to interact with people of different faiths.

We certainly don't portray other religions as truth. Instead, we study them so that when we meet someone who is Muslim (or another religion), we can converse intelligently and respectfully.

Respecting and Valuing People from Other Faiths

When we don't know about other religions, we often fear their adherents. But we don't have to approach people in fear just because they are different. They are people like us, who happen to believe differently. We want to be able to understand where they are coming from, and share with them that Christianity has a valid perspective. We want to be able to lovingly share that Jesus is good news for them, too.

In our increasingly globalized world, your children will undoubtedly encounter people of various faiths, if they haven't already. Aren't they best prepared for this when they're at home, with you? I love what another mom recently shared:

I want to be able to discuss other religions with my children. What better way for children to learn about worldly issues than in a safe environment taught by a parent? We recently learned about Buddha. It was fascinating to learn how that whole religion started and that it came from a positive place. I learned right along with my son. We had a great discussion that while Buddha was a nice man, he was not to be worshipped.

boyandgirl

As this mom discovered, Sonlight's approach to studying various religions gives wonderful opportunities to talk with your children about what you believe and why. And you don't have to be trained in Christian apologetics in order to discuss this with your children. Your Instructor's Guide shows the way as you help your children see that Jesus is different from the gods and prophets of other faiths.

I pray that your Sonlight adventure blesses you with opportunities to learn alongside your children as you help them grow strong in their faith. May they grow up to be informed, loving ambassadors of Christ!

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Mar. 31, 2021

Sonlight offers a better alternative to contemporary YA fiction

By Sarita
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Sonlight offers a better alternative to contemporary YA fiction

"Books show us the world, and in that sense, too many books for adolescents act like funhouse mirrors, reflecting hideously distorted portrayals of life."

Meghan Cox Gurdon, children's book reviewer for The Wall Street Journal

I agree with that quote. The young adult (YA) sections of libraries seem full of lurid exploits, harsh details of abuse, and abundant profanity. Gurdon challenges the darkness so popular in YA books.

You can read her insightful article here. (Warning – this article contains brief examples of typical dark plots. If you're a child or teen reading this, please check with a parent before clicking.)

Gurdon says that even though some teens do live in horrible situations, young adult books shouldn't therefore gluttonously wallow in darkness in an effort to identify with those hurting teens. Instead, we should realize that books help tell teens what the norms are in life. So we have a choice of what norms to portray.

Sonlight books create the norm for students that young people do face trials, get hurt and make mistakes, but that they can ultimately overcome in the end. Sonlight does not pretend the world is perfect. But through our book selections, we do show that young people can step up to the challenge, grow through hard times, and live with courage. They can make a difference in their families, communities, and world. Inspire your kids to change the world, strive for personal growth, and persist through trials with this eclectic mix of biographies (and one autobiography) from world history, US history, church history, and more. Use Christian biographies for young readers to inspire perseverance and character!

This is one reason I use my 7-point test to determine if a book is Sonlight-worthy. and include Christian biographies for young readers in each Sonlight program. One point of the test is that the protagonist must change for the better over the course of the book. So many Sonlight books in the upper levels don't just fulfill these standards; they go way beyond them. I think of works such as

It seems that so much of what's on the non-Sonlight shelves for young people today just perpetuates the feelings of insecurity and anxiety that teens already face. Far better to give our students quality literature where young people acknowledge these feelings and find support to grow beyond that insecurity toward real courage.

Even when teens have been abused, I don't think the answer is to give them books that validate their experience as normal. We should instead offer adult aid that helps them see the abuse as a distorted, horrible thing that happened to them. We should help them heal instead of giving them novels that make them perpetually re-live their pain.
So I'm with Gurdon on this one, too:

I [take] the less progressive, less secular view that parents should take a more interventionist approach, steering their children away from books about sex and horror and degradation, and towards books that make aesthetic and moral claims.

Meghan Cox Gurdon

As parents and educators, we have the responsibility to help shape our children. We should not glorify teenage angst and misery. Instead we should stand as mature guides, helping teens acknowledge their hurt, see the bigger scope of life, and find constructive ways forward.

Real literature, with believable characters and situations, can help us do that for our children. Though children will see right through boring moralistic tales, let's inspire our teens with great biographies and compelling fiction that shows the world as it really is – a troubled place with lots and lots of hope.

I count it a privilege for Sonlight to come alongside you as you do that.

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Mar. 29, 2021

Why Storytelling Matters for Your Homeschool

By Sarita
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Why Storytelling Matters for Your Homeschool

Imagine you grew up in an ancient indigenous culture with no books, no computers, no electricity. How would you have spent your evenings?

Perhaps around a fire, listening to stories.

Most cultures around the world have passed on their values and history through stories for centuries. They continue to share stories even today. Children grow up hearing legends that show what it means to be a hero or coward, wise or foolish. They learn their cultural history. Stories teach them how the world works.

And yet today, many schools are pushing for more information at the expense of learning through stories. I recently heard of a school district moving entirely to computer modules for education. Now, it's not the computers that are the problem, per se. It's how some want to use them. Each child will sit in front of a computer and go through modules to acquire the "knowledge they need." I imagine the teachers will feel demoted to the role of babysitters.

I'd rather apply a lesson from history and embrace the fact that children (and adults) love good stories. In fact, Jesus relied on stories to teach. As the master storyteller, He told stories with the stuff of everyday life: bread, yeast, vineyards, shepherds, families. And so He shared the ways of God's Kingdom with His listeners.

Aesop is another example. His fables are shared with children around the world. Stories with deeper lessons can be powerful. As a literature-rich educational company, Sonlight relies on this fact.

What Makes a Good Story?

So what makes for a good story? What gives a story power?

Personally, I'd say: Compelling characters facing realistic situations in ways in which I can relate. Realistic, of course, can span worlds with mythical creatures, indestructible characters, and other elements so far outside of reality that there's nothing realistic about them. What I need, instead, is a consistency in that world and connection between this world and the one I'm entering.

The books I had the privilege to enjoy as part of my homeschooling education with Sonlight dripped with a reality that often pointed to a deeper one. The stories were compelling, the characters felt real, and the truths these stories implanted in me stick to this day. The stories included in every Sonlight History / Bible / Literature program have power behind them.

Sonlight's Reliance on Storytelling

The power of stories is why Sonlight relies so much on great storytelling. We have a choice for our children. We can force-feed them isolated information through dry textbooks or computer programs. Or we can help them love the process of learning and soak up knowledge like a sponge through great books with great stories.

Sonlight lets you interact with your children the way elders and youth have interacted for millennia. You get to tell great stories by reading aloud, and your kids get to learn how the world works.

  • They learn about history from the viewpoint of people who lived it.
  • They learn what a hero looks like.
  • They get to ask questions.
  • And you, as a wise elder in their lives, get to answer those questions and help your children make sense of everything around them.

The Importance of Story to Christians

Did you know that some religions believe in a cyclical model of time? Hindus and Buddhists, for example, generally think that time has no beginning and no end, but just moves in huge repeating cycles.

But Westerners tend to see history as linear. Christians certainly believe that we live in the midst of a story moving forward. We believe history had a beginning, moves through time, and will have an end point. And not just that. As Christians, we believe we are moving through time with a purpose. God is working out a grand plan of redemption.

Why does it matter?

To Know Our Place in History

I believe children need to know where we are in the story in order to make sense of life. I want our children to know that we are in the period of time between Christ's first coming and His return. The incarnate Christ returned to heaven, and we are His representatives on earth now. He has given us the Holy Spirit to work through us and guide us as we labor to bring God's Kingdom to earth. We are part of God's big plan; we have a role to play, a purpose for living, and a call to serve. We can partner with God, or not. He will work His plan out with or without us. May we and our children be people who help God's kingdom advance.

And the story is moving forward! Though we don't know the exact timeline, we do know we are moving to an end point where Christ returns and ultimately redeems His people. He will establish His kingdom in full and we will live forever in perfect communion with Him in the new heaven and new earth. How can this not affect how we live today?

History Is a Story

This concept of being in a story leads Sonlight to emphasize the study of history. Because we believe we live in the midst of a story, Sonlight creates programs that help children know where they fit in with the big picture of civilizations and God's work in this specific world. For example, children need to know that life has not always been as it is now. Their nation has not existed forever. Civilizations have risen and fallen over time, gradually forming the world as we know it now.

Each School Year Focuses on a Particular Theme of History

Nearly every Sonlight program centers on a history theme. With the Sonlight scope and sequence of world history, American history, and church history, your children will get the big-picture, chronological view of how we got where we are today. I think this way of learning helps kids make sense of the world around them. I also think it helps children develop critical thinking, understand other cultures, and be inspired to live meaningful lives.

I can get pretty excited about history. If we are part of a story, we must have a part to play! May we inspire our children to find their role in God's kingdom and live out the story to which He has called them.

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