As I go through my days, homeschooling six children and serving the Lord in a variety of ways at home, at church, and in the community, I am regularly blessed by a handful of one-liners that invigorate me and help me to do the right thing with the right attitude. These five phrases come to my mind, and shape my life, on an almost daily basis.
“Just Do It”Whenever I long to connect with my children, to read more books, to play more games, and to be more affectionate, I remember the phrase made famous by Nike, “Just do it”. Instead of grabbing the calendar to schedule a time or revamping our homeschool day or, worse, despairing over my failure to do these things, I just do the thing I’m longing to do.
Cindy Rollins writes about this in her lovely memoir Mere Motherhood: Morning Times, Nursery Rhymes, & My Journey Toward Sanctification:
“So often mothers worry about what they are not doing. I hear these things all the time… To these moms, I say, “get up right now and do THAT thing.” Today, now, put down this book and have your child immediately write a narration or have your devotions or take a walk.”
This tidbit of advice transforms my ideals, theories, hopes, and dreams into realities. Grab this little phrase for yourself. I can’t recommend it enough.
“I’ve Changed My Mind”Years ago, I was feeling stuck by one of my decisions for our homeschool.
Things weren’t working for my child, but I didn’t want to second-guess myself, cave into my child’s complaints, or appear uncommitted. My friend, Renee, comforted me with the truth that I could change my mind. She reminded me that only God is perfect and unchanging; humans have limited understanding and are learning new insights all of the time.
Parenting became less burdensome when I realized that it's okay to reassess and modify my decisions. On a regular basis, I need to tell my children that I’ve changed my mind. It is humbling, but it also demonstrates that I am learning and adapting as I go.
You can change your mind, too, you know.
When you need to adjust a rule, a schedule, or a decision because circumstances have changed or you have learned a new insight, go ahead and change. Your child will respect your honesty, humanity, and flexibility.
“They’ll Remember How You Made Them Feel”Instead of prioritizing lessons, field trips, experiences, and educational resources in our homeschool, I’m learning to prioritize the atmosphere, my attitude, and my affection toward my family. More than any historical fact, spelling word, or math concept, my children will remember how I made them feel from day to day.
Becoming a nurturing mother is one reason why I’m keeping a close eye on my stress level and my outside commitments. It’s one of the reasons why I’m prioritizing time with God, exercise, and a healthy diet. It’s also one of the reasons why I read uplifting books and listen to encouraging podcasts about parenting. It’s also a big theme in my closest friendships.
These things strengthen me to be pleasant, present, and self-controlled. When my children reflect on their childhood, I want them to remember feeling loved.
“I Am the Gardener”Sometimes my children’s neediness, whining, crying, sibling rivalry, clutter, and chaos feel like an onslaught. As I move from one child’s need to another—giving, accommodating, consoling, helping, and serving—I feel like a terrible version of Shel Silverstein’s The Giving Tree. I feel more like the depleted tree. In fact, by the end of the day, I often feel like a mere stump of myself whose fruit, branches, trunk and all have been beaten out of me. Needless to say, this grim outlook has made me sulk once or twice. Until recently.
When I prayed about my burden, I realized that I am not "the depleted tree." I am not a victim of my children’s needs and demands.
Instead, I am the gardener; I am the one with agency, calling, vision, and responsibility. I am the one who is teaching, training, and nurturing my children so that when they demand something, I get to decide the best way to address their needs. When they cry, fight, or make messes, I get to consider the best direction for their lives and act accordingly. By reminding myself “I am the gardener” of my precious children’s souls, I move from feeling like a martyr to feeling like a maker. I move from resentment to rest. This shift in perspective is bringing forth fruit in my home.
Do you ever feel like "the depleted tree"? Try this shift in perspective! Today, remind yourself, “I am the gardener” and see if it helps you to take a proactive step in loving and serving your child with a cheerful heart.
“Serve the Lord with Gladness”Vonette Bright worked alongside her husband, Bill Bright, as he began Campus Crusade for Christ (now called CRU on college campuses). When she was on her deathbed, she reflected on her life—one of joy and sorrow.
She had raised children, supported Bill in his ministry work, endured Bill’s death, and had suffered through her own sickness. At the end of her life, she was asked, “What’s life all about?” Without hesitation Vonette replied with a phrase from Psalm 100:2, “Serve the Lord with gladness.”
Her response echoes in my mind as I work to love my husband, raise our children, build the Church, and reach out to our community. The encouragement to “serve the Lord with gladness” casts a beautiful light on all of my tasks—from the menial to the enjoyable. It makes my work meaningful, and it lifts my eyes to a loving Heavenly Father who cares about me.
What’s your life all about? What will all of your homeschooling moments amount to? Wouldn’t it be lovely, profoundly lovely, if your life—homeschool included—amounted to a happy gift unto the Lord?
I bless you today with this life-shaping one-liner: “Serve the Lord with gladness.” Add it to your daily self-talk. Preach it to yourself, sing it, pray it, whisper it. I am confident that living this one phrase will make all of the difference in the world.
Why are you homeschooling? Refuel your homeschool and keep your motivation at the forefront with our FREE guide.
With God, all things are possible! Stories of God's faithfulness on the mission field and the sacrifice of His missionaries will do more to grow your children's faith in God than a dozen lectures! Use these enjoyable missionary stories as family Read-Alouds for maximum spiritual benefit.
Because Christian missions is at the core of Sonlight, every History / Bible / Literature curriculum package includes at least one missionary biography. If you don't use Sonlight (yet) or aren't a homeschooler at all, be sure to read these twelve books to your children and add them to your home library. The discussions they inspire give you a chance to impart your faith to your children in a natural way. You will be changed, too, by these inspiring accounts.
Let's travel every continent of the globe by way of the stories of these exemplary Christian missionaries!
Hudson Taylor was only 21 when he sailed from England. He had already learned he could trust God with the last coin in his pocket; he would need that faith as he set out to evangelize the Chinese.
This missionary biography is a thrilling true story of daring, danger, and dependence on God in China.
Mama Laird served as a missionary in the Central African Republic for decades and saw great waves of people turning to God.
One dear follower was beaten by drunks until he almost died, but 300 or so people came to his house of death and followed Jesus. Finally one day, no one came. Then he said, "God, let me get up or die."
This is marvelous missionary story that will challenge your faith in the best of ways.
God prepared the way for the Karen people of Burma to come to know him.
When George Boardman and Adoniram Judson arrived, the Burmese were not terribly interested, but the Karen were desperately ready.
This missionary biography is an incredible story of God at work.
This missionary tale is the moving story of how God's word transformed an entire people--as well as the woman whom He had sent to translate the Scriptures for them.
This story of one woman's life of fervent prayer in the Philippines will inspire you and your children to greater faith.
This missionary biography tells the true story of Bruce Olson who, at 19 years of age, leaves his home in Minnesota to reach the Motilone Indians, a murderous tribe in the jungles of Colombia.
Captured by the people with whom he wants to share the Gospel, Olson proves God's strength is made perfect in weakness.
This one is thought provoking and challenging!
One the greatest ways to boost our faith is by seeing how God has been faithful in the past. We may tell children that God answers prayer, but when they experience George Muller praying for bread for an entire orphanage, they can feel the weight of need. When they catch their breath as he gets news of a miraculously broken down bread cart just outside his door at breakfast time, they will never forget this truth.
In this gripping true story, you and your children will come face to face with Muller's massive faith and generosity. With scarcely enough money for his own family, George Muller sponsored a "Breakfast Club" for orphans that eventually filled five large houses and cared for 10,000 children.
This classic missionary biography recounts the work of Gladys Aylward, an uneducated British housemaid who went to China via Russia in the midst of the Soviet-Chinese war in the early 20th century.
Her bravery will inspire your children to do great things for God and trust him at all times. As a bonus, you get a glimpse of the customs and culture of China during that period.
This missionary biography takes you to Ethiopia where you get eighteen glorious chapters of God at work:
It's marvelous.
A translator struggles to help the Falopa people of Papua New Guinea understand what the Bible says in this missionary biography.
Fascinating, thought-provoking, and often funny, these are the stories of a culture's first encounter with God's Word. You will love reading it and will probably want to re-read it at least once!
In this modern day missionary biography, you get fourteen stories of God at work in Colombia, South America.
It's dramatic and exciting: people escape a burning house, see dreams and visions, and try to convert kidnappers.
When you come to the end of this book, you and your children will say, "Wow! He is worthy of praise!"
As a cotton mill worker, Mary Slessor longs to be used by God in a mighty way. Her prayer is answered when she becomes a pioneer missionary in Africa.
In the Calabar region, she not only teaches people about Christ but also helps to put an end to twin-killings and other brutal practices.
This one is a thrilling biography, composed by master biographers.
This missionary biography is an amazing story of a woman who grew up in India and couldn't wait to leave. In one night, three men came to ask her to help their laboring wives. All three refused her father's help (he was a doctor), preferring to let their wives die than break religious taboos. And all three did die.
Ida realized she could make a difference, and so she went to medical school to use her gifts for the Lord in India. She served in India for decades, helping the lepers, founding a teaching hospital, and serving the people.
Biographies of missionaries demonstrate clearly how God is active in the lives of His followers. These books will increase your faith and challenge you and your children to rest in God's provision.
To see more top-notch books and our complete book-based homeschool programs, ask for a complimentary copy of your catalog today.
"Sonlight has given Eli a love for books despite his dyslexia. Reading aloud is the highlight of our day. Audio books are a must in our house. I could never read aloud as many books as he devours. Thank you, Sonlight!"
Stefany A. of Shawnee, KS
As a parent of four children with varying degrees of dyslexia, dysgraphia, and visual processing issues, finding a curriculum that works can be difficult. Most curricula depend heavily on a child’s reading ability: a child must be able to read the written work, comprehend it, and then read the tests in order to answer the questions correctly. Even subjects that aren’t reading-based still require reading skills to be able to read the instructions on a math page or the steps to laying out a science experiment.
Students with dyslexia face challenges in every subject, especially since issues with dyslexia extend far beyond just reading and writing. These children often struggle to memorize math facts and historical dates, often have trouble learning foreign languages, and may have trouble remembering directions and faces.
With all those challenges facing a dyslexic child, why would a parent choose a program that is largely based upon reading books?! And how could a literature-based program help a child for whom books are a major issue?
Based on my experience and that of other parents who agreed to let me share their stories, yes! A literature-based homeschool curriculum like Sonlight does work for a child with dyslexia. Here's why.
Sonlight (as well as most other literature-based curricula) doesn’t wait until your child is reading well independently to teach information. You’ll begin reading to your child about science and history in preschool, and continue reading to them up through middle school. Some parents even continue reading to their children in high school. Many of the History / Bible / Literature programs, and even the Science programs, have the parent reading books to the child well above the typical reading level of that age group.
For example, in Sonlight HBL D, one of the history spines is The Landmark History of the American People: From Plymouth to the West. This is an updated version of a book which was written, not to third through fifth graders as one might expect based on Sonlight’s grade recommendations, but as a social commentary for adults. In the book, you won’t find a watered-down, reading-leveled book with carefully selected vocabulary and content catered to this age group, but a full variety of interesting and engaging topics such as how propaganda created an influx of people from Europe to emigrate to America, how voting practices have changed over the years, and how the housing market in the New Land created business opportunities blocked to many back in the Old World.
[A spine is a book that provides structure to your year of study and is usually the main book used all year long.]
You will be reading to your preschool-aged children about atoms and quarks, and your child in early elementary about how Hammurabi created the first known code of laws, and why many believe that Pharaoh Menes and King Narmer were the same person. Your child doesn’t need to be able to read those things themselves because the program relies on shared reading experiences between parent and child.
My oldest daughter, now age 18, has used Sonlight since she was 4. She was diagnosed with dyslexia at age 8. We have struggled with writing and spelling lessons since the beginning. However, she was surprising adults with her knowledge of history and science well before she was diagnosed. Because I read aloud to her about topics she would have struggled to read her own, her dyslexia didn't hold her back from learning.
The methods used in most classrooms and some homeschool programs are difficult for dyslexic children.
Students are asked to read materials and then answer questions based on the reading. They are assigned several books throughout the day, one or more per subject, where they are asked to pay careful attention to all the details and later regurgitate what they have learned.
Names, dates, and place words are often hard for dyslexic children to retain and remember. They spend so much time struggling to decode the words and remember details that they often miss the main point and have to go back and read it again.
A literature-based approach (instead of a textbook approach) is much easier for dyslexic children to digest. Children are presented with an important character or pivotal event. Then a story is built around it, drawing the child into a narrative, all the while creating mental hook for them to hang information on.
For example, in the book Breaking Stalin’s Nose from Sonlight’s HBL F, my second child wasn’t given a list of people and places to remember about Stalin. Instead, he was given one person to remember—a 10-year-old boy named Sasha. All the other events in the story revolve around that character. Through that character’s eyes, my son was introduced to Stalin and communism.
Those facts about Russia have stayed with him for the past four years. He still remembers not only the book, but many details about life in Russia during that time period—all because of the power of story (not dry facts) to help him understand.
Because dyslexic children vary greatly in ability from subject to subject and display high levels of asynchronicity, they often require a highly customized curriculum. Sonlight allows you the ability to pick and choose the level your child needs for each individual subject.
Below HBL D, reading level isn’t tied to the level of the program your child is working at. You are free to mix and match levels so your child can work on their reading skills without it affecting their learning in other subjects at all. Your child doesn’t need to struggle through difficult reading assignments in order to work at their level in other subjects. They can get a full, rich education in all their subjects, while they wait for their reading and writing skills to catch up.
Elizabeth, a 7-year-old dyslexic daughter of one of my friends, is working through Sonlight’s HBL C program with an older brother. Paired with it, she's using Language Arts 1, and Grade 2 Readers. She is able to get exactly the level of work she needs in each subject and is able to progress at her own rate.
Because Sonlight uses wonderful living books that are far from the drudgery of ordinary textbooks, even if the books are hard to read at times, the captivating plot content and heart-touching characters engage your child. Listening to these stories read by a parent demonstrates that reading is enjoyable and interesting, not a struggle with little reward.
Michael, Elizabeth’s older brother, usually hates sitting still for workbooks and textbooks, but has recently begun asking his mother for “just one more chapter” of many of his favorite Read-Alouds. For a boy who’s not usually interested in stories, he can’t help but want to know more about Robin Hood and Michelangelo.
It’s easy to assume a dyslexic child is less intelligent than she actually is, because she often performs poorly on tests, including tests for intelligence. Or he might not be able to keep up with his schoolwork because he can’t read all the assignments fast enough. However, a large percentage of dyslexic children are above-average in intelligence. They simply struggle to learn in traditional methods.
By taking the tests and the pop quizzes and extra writing assignments out of the equation, we can allow that intelligence to shine.
Cassandra, a 9-year-old in third grade (after having been held back because of her reading and writing issues in public school), was assigned a book report on the book Freckle Juice. She labored over her assignment for a full month, working diligently. When grades were released, she came home in tears. She had gotten a D on an assignment she had worked on longer and harder than most of her younger classmates.
Cassandra’s mother pulled her from school, determined to give homeschooling a shot. She came to me to help her pick the right level to start out at, and together, we concluded she would be happiest starting with HBL B, which would be a little on the easy side, while she worked on her reading and writing skills. One of her writing assignments this year was to give a book report on her favorite book. She chose a book her mother had read out loud to her, and gave a lovely oral book report far greater what she could have written herself, demonstrating a deep and nuanced understanding of the topic, and even adding a little research she had done on her own. She wasn’t tied down to what she could read or write on her own, but was free to display all her knowledge without hindrance.
Because I have so many dyslexic children, I need a program that not only can work with my children, but is easy enough for me to teach while still finding time to focus on the hard subjects. Sonlight allows me to spend large portions of our day enjoying school and reading together, which makes the math, reading, and writing portions of our day not only more tolerable, but more fun. In the end, I am raising dyslexic children who not only can read and write, but love reading and writing.
If you are homeschooling multiple children of various - but on the young side - ages, then you might wonder when do you get the housework done? Wouldn't it be grand if you could put your household on autopilot and let it take care of itself?
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When we first begin homeschooling, it’s easy to imagine breezy days of sweet Read-Alouds and smiling children. If you’re lucky, the first few days can be like that. But it can be a rude awakening when reality sets in and we are reminded that we are not teaching little angels. We are teaching fallible humans. Sometimes we find that we are teaching miniature versions of ourselves! Oh, the irony to see ourselves mirrored in these tiny people!
So we find ourselves in a new predicament...how to deal with behavior problems in the homeschool. Here are a few things that I have found to be helpful.
You may have weeks of blissful schooling, and I certainly hope you do, but none of us are perfect. There will come a point where you’ll have to deal with issues.
Consider it part of your job description.
If you aren’t surprised by the setback, you’ll be ahead of the game in dealing with it.
You may even find that your child who had perfect behavior at public school seems to have all kinds of troubles with you as the teacher. Don’t worry! This is normal. Your child is much more comfortable in their own house with you as their teacher than they would be at public school. They are more apt to let down their guard.
Expect these bumps in the road.
Hear, O Israel: The Lord our God, the Lord is one. Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength. These commandments that I give you today are to be on your hearts. Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up. Tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads. Write them on the doorframes of your houses and on your gates.
Deuteronomy 6:4-9
Be diligent to teach your children who God is. Then, teach them that they are image bearers of God. Give them The Gospel daily. Trust this to transform them from the inside out. It will take time...maybe more time than you would like. But the Bible says our hopes will be rewarded eventually:
“so shall my word be that goes out from my mouth; it shall not return to me empty, but it shall accomplish that which I purpose, and shall succeed in the thing for which I sent it.”
Isaiah 55:11
Many schools use behavior modification systems, such as color charts and strike systems. Use caution with these. They are not long-term solutions to heart problems. If you choose to use a behavior modification system, be sure to accompany it with The Word of God.
So far, my advice has been preventative. I cannot stress how important it is to do the preventative work in your family. It’s always easier to be proactive than to find yourself in a place where you will have to be reactive. However, even if you do all the right things, your children will have their moments, just like you and I have our moments. In that time, we need to know how to react.
Stay calm.
Take a deep breath and speak in your most calm voice. Remember, your child probably isn’t thinking clearly, so you must be the voice of reason. Don’t let your child’s behavior get you into a fuss too. Simply state what you would like for them to do in the least words possible. For example,
“Evan, stop throwing the ball so you can get your work done.”
If your child chooses not to stop throwing the ball, simply state the consequence. Don’t lecture.
Does anyone else find this the most difficult part? This point is where I want to begin a five- to ten-minute lecture on why we don’t throw the ball, why we need to make better choices, and what Evan needs to work on.
If you feel that there is definitely a need for more explanation, then by all means, file the incident away to discuss in an upcoming Bible or character lesson. But the heat of the moment is never a good time to lecture.
Before you find yourself in a situation like the one I described above, you’ll want to sit down with paper and a pen to list common behavior problems that your children face. Every family is different, so while dawdling may be an issue in my family, you may have a completely different set of struggles.
Then, beside each behavior problem, write down an appropriate consequence. It is best to do this when you are in a calm state of mind. I would recommend that you try to lump similar offenses together so that you have only a handful of consequences. For example, dawdling and doing messy work might have the same consequence. Both of those could be handled by having the child stay inside during break time to finish or re-do the work. Reducing the number of consequences will reduce the possibilities you will consider in the heat of the moment, and this will help you to stay calm and collected.
Once you have your list, keep it close by to reference every so often. Dole out the consequence with as little emotion as possible, and see to it that you follow through.
Most importantly, be consistent. Consistency is one of the most challenging parts of parenthood. We must be consistent in correcting bad behavior so we don’t send mixed messages to our children. Keep going, even when it gets tough, even when you’re tired. Hard work pays off.
We always need to be aware of our speech to our children. When they hear our voice in their head, do they hear us correcting them or encouraging them?
We should always strive to have more encouraging moments with our kids than we have correcting moments. This is difficult, especially when you have a child with a lot of behavior issues. However, we want to help them create a positive inner dialogue. After correcting their behavior, you might add, “I know you can do this.”
You’ll also want to affirm them often. Remember to point out the character qualities that you see them either improving upon or that they have mastered. For example, “I know it would have been easier to lie about that, but I am so grateful that you chose to be honest. It’s great to know I can trust you,” or, “I have been watching you, and I’ve noticed how kind you have been to your sister lately. I’m so thankful that God is developing this quality in your heart.”
Finally, connect with your child often. Talk, talk, talk, but even more so, listen, listen, listen. Find out what’s happening in their heart.
If your child isn’t a talker, try playing a game while you chat, or find the place where they feel safe enough to open up. For me, it was always the front seat of my mom’s car. She would take me for a drive any time I needed to talk.
I tell my children regularly that I will correct them. They should expect that, and they should know that I don’t expect perfection from them. I correct because I love them too much to leave them where they are. This is the same thing that God does with us.
He loves us too much to leave us in our sin. He meets us where we are, but thankfully, He doesn’t leave us there. He gives us the Holy Spirit to help us in our sanctification, and transforms us day by day to look more like His Son, Jesus, so that we might spread The Gospel throughout the world.
Are you homeschooling a child who struggles with reading comprehension? Perhaps they struggle with or show the signs of a visual processing disorder such as dyslexia. They might wear glasses or have trouble seeing. Perhaps they just don’t like reading or writing. Some children learn best when they hear the lessons rather than read them on their own.
Children who fit these traits are probably auditory learners. They enjoy and learn best from sound: conversation, discussion, video, and music.
Auditory learners prefer to learn by hearing instead of by seeing or doing. Of course, using all kinds of learning methods, including visual and kinesthetic, will enrich your homeschool. So even if you find you have an auditory learner, don't discard other avenues of learning. But when your auditory learner is struggling, it's a good idea to revert back to the preferred auditory methods listed below. These techniques will provide the smoothest learning experience.
Fortunately, Sonlight homeschool curriculum works well with auditory learners. Rich Read-Alouds are included at every level, even in high school, so your children are getting the bulk of their lessons through listening. Even books scheduled as Readers can be used as Read-Alouds as needed. In the Instructor's Guides, Sonlight suggests discussion questions for every book you read—perfect for the auditory learner.
See if the Sonlight method would work for your auditory learner. Request your free novel and study guide now.
