School Question

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Natalia went to a backyard Bible club hosted by a family in our church. She wanted to try out a group with older children and I figured, why not? She loves people and easily makes friends. Although she's not quite 4 she speaks very clearly and understands almost everything (often more than I realize!) going on around her.

The group ended up being much older. As I had guessed, Natalia wasn't fazed and she participated well, answered questions, asked questions, raised her hand and commented on the stories. She had a great time. But I didn't. I saw several instances of just mean from the older kids. From laughing at a little boy, to scoffing at Natalia when she would ask her questions. My hackles raised. It brought back my main memory from high school: people being mean when they don't even know you. They have no reason to be mean. They just are.

I went home disturbed. I didn't want Natalia to return. I really want to keep the day when she discovers mean people a long way down the line. I told Dave about it, and the question just popped out, "Why would any Christian parent not homeschool their kids? Why would they expose them to this?"

I'm not trying to sound condescending at all. I just really don't understand.*

A few thoughts to counteract things I've heard in the past:


Natalia in the Sand

I need a break from my kids.
Something I realized while on vacation with Dave's family, having a Gramby, a Pap pap, a Granny, two aunts and an uncle around to hold the girls (at this point the only grandchildren), play with them, feed them, etc. really changed my attitude. For the worse. When I have a lot of time for me, when I'm able to just do my own thing, and then am suddenly called back to motherhood, I feel like I'm being inconvenienced. "Argh, really, you need something? I was just about to..."

Normally, I'm used to having two additional shadows. When we are at home, or with just Dave and I caring for them, it's no inconvenience. They are no inconvenience. It's life. It's what I chose and I love it. I love helping and caring and being needed. It's interesting how a week can change that. I wonder if moms would like their kids more if they were around them more?

I'm afraid my kid won't know how to interact and be socialized.
Natalia loves people. She is obviously an extrovert. But after church and lunch with people on Sunday, maybe the pool or the park on Monday, ballet on Tuesday, Bible study Wednesday, another pool or park day on Thursday, grocery shopping Friday, and then time with dad on Saturday and maybe more errands, she really has had an awful lot of interactions with people throughout the course of the week. Sometimes she just wants to stay home but I want to go to the park or the pool this mamma (and extrovert) guiltily admits. She is learning how to interact with people. She sees a lot of people. She also enjoys downtime.

I'm afraid my kid won't learn well at home.
With this one, I just look at myself and say, I'm of a pretty normal intelligence and I did great. If you look at test scores homeschoolers come out just fine on all counts...so, if we can just get past our insecurities we'll be okay, right?

What are your thoughts? What, for you, is the reason you say, I won't send me kids to school? What would change your mind? What reason might you say, I really think they'd be better elsewhere?

Until next time,
Jonelle

*I get that there are always reasons for people to be outside the sweeping generality I just made. Please know that I recognize that it's a sweeping generality, but that I still am curious to know the answer. I do understand that some people have to work, others might be too ill or their children are, and that it is additional money out of pocket...I still wonder though...

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When Not to Socialize Your Kids

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She's in college now. An art major with a solidifying style and a keen wit. She's getting better, she tells me, at speaking her mind. In high school, she was a coward who kept her mouth shut to stay in proximity to the popular kids.

For more than twenty minutes, she recounts tales of woe and despicable behavior that played out around her as a teen in school. At the center of this imploding mess was an Alpha girl and a wannabe. Those two, it seems, were the catalyst and trigger for a swath of atrocities. But she was too insecure to do anything. She didn't even dare leave the circle of dysfunction.

"I envy you your homeschooling," she announces. "I wouldn't have thought I was stupid." A moment. Then, "I'm not stupid."

Each time she is reminded of this fact, the opposite message she learned in school fades just a little bit. A self-proclaimed nerd, she finds much comfort in the words of Paul Graham. She's not stupid. The kids were simply mean and the system so inflexible that it couldn't accommodate her strengths and help her overcome her weaknesses.

People critical of homeschooling tend to talk of socialization in the teen years as if it is something homeschoolers lack. The more I talk with kids who survived this period of time, the more I'm prone to think the opposite is true. Skipping this "cruel and stupid world" may actually be a very good thing. This young lady didn't learn how to deal with bullies. She's learned--and is learning--since high school ... not because of it.

So when should you not socialize your kids? When you'd rather lay a foundation and spare them from the nastiness of a society run by insecure children who have little purpose in the world they are forced to inhabit.

What other reasons have you discovered that keep you from "socializing" your kids?

 ~Luke Holzmann
Filmmaker, Writer, Empty Nester

P.S. The irony, of course, is that those of us who stayed home for some of these years were likely far better socialized for it because we were in a real world with adults.

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Thinking Bigger in Ministry

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My perspective is often far too narrow. Take, for example, the following that literally just happened:

A friend called needing me to bring him a spare key after locking himself out of his house. Happy to be of service, I dropped everything at work to come to his aid. What a good friend I am, right?

Right.

Except every red light stopped me from rescuing my friend. Every bad driver left him stranded a moment longer. The streams of cars blocking my turn held me back. And that made me upset. In a wide variety of creative expressions I muttered and mumbled against these barriers to my good deed. "Get out of my way!" I said in many an ungracious manner.


Red Light

A gentle nudge forced me to pause in my ranting. The thought floated to my conscience: 'In your desire to help your friend, you've forgotten that every vehicle contains a least one other soul, Luke. They likely need grace and compassion and help as well.'

"But they're not my friend," I grumbled. And in that betrayed my veneer of selflessness. That passage from Matthew 5 seems appropriate: I was caring for my friend but no one else... which is something everyone does. I'm a fine friend, sure, but I want to be more than that. I want to be someone who loves and blesses everyone around me. I want to share the love of Christ with everyone.

I read once that the reason we get road rage when someone cuts us off in a car but not while walking is due to a lack of feedback. When it's an impersonal car, we get mad at it and the person controlling the thing. When a person almost trips us accidentally, we exchange a brief apology in a glance. That makes them human and so we are quicker to forgive.

It's fascinating and terrible how easily I convert people into blockades. A similar thing can happen when the person isn't in my group. Like homeschooling. It's so easy for me to put non-homeschoolers in a group I can dismiss. I don't mean to do this. I think homeschooling a great option, but it's just one of many totally viable options. Parents who purposely choose the educational pathway that fits their family and children should not be put in a box of "oh, Thems" like in Gammage Cup.

May we continue to think bigger about ministry. May we, like our Sonlight curriculum encourages us, gain a global perspective that gets our focus off ourselves and out to the world around us. I talk about this a bit in the Christlike Thinking podcast I was a part of recently, if you haven't had a chance to listen to it yet.

Enjoy your weekend, and may God's grace flow from you to everyone around you.

 ~Luke Holzmann
Filmmaker, Writer, Empty Nester

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The Catalyst for Learning

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Cherish, one of my bloggy friends, suggested I read her post on instructional technologies. The title hadn't grabbed my attention while zipping through my RSS feeds this morning, so I'm glad she encouraged me to check it out. I'm still processing all the information in the post, but the first thing to hit me was the research that shows lectures aren't a very effective way to teach. Yet educators and professors across the country continue to stand in front of the class in an attempt to impart knowledge to their charges.

Check one for homeschooling. It's not often we engage in a lecture. Reprimanding a child... that's different, and yet, possibly, equally ineffective <smile>.

That's not to say formal education itself is pointless. Rather, the methods and tools we utilize can be more or less beneficial. Which brought me back to a discussion I had the other night after watching Waiting for Superman. There are far more factors involved in the success of certain charter schools than simply a lack of unions and poor teachers. In fact, thinking about the statistics, the deciding factors are likely the parents and the home life of these students. The perspective that getting a better lecture will redirect your life appears is blindingly short-sighted.

And yet, the environment and methodology of teaching can have a profound impact on a student's desire to learn and grow. I can name the high school and college classes I took which drained my will to learn faster than a toilet flushes water. And then it hit me: Learning opportunities--like classes, lectures, books, online videos, articles, discussion, or curricula--are the catalyst for learning rather than the mechanism. As many have said before, the best learning opportunities give you a thirst for knowledge. You are the one who does the learning.

I'm personally very excited about online learning opportunities--considering I just finished creating one. The ability to find lessons on just about any topic you can imagine is thrilling. The classroom of the future is being molded today. And I'm looking forward to seeing where we end up.

One last point: Great literature is still one of the most powerful ways to learn. It allows us to wrestle with big ideas and discover worlds and interests outside our own. So if you're looking for a non-lecture-based, literature-rich homeschool curriculum, Sonlight's a great option.

 ~Luke Holzmann
Filmmaker, Writer, Empty Nester

P.S. I had an opportunity to be a guest on the Christlike Thinking podcast. Listening to myself, I say "umm" a lot <sigh>. But toward the end, after I got on a roll, I did a bit better. We covered some interesting stuff. You can download the .mp3 here: http://www.brucesabin.com/podcast/Luke_Holzmann.mp3

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What Matters Most?

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Waldo Canyon Fire June 26

Waldo Canyon fire, view from my backyard (June 26)

On June 23 I looked out the window and saw a large plume of smoke in the distance, near the mountains.

A few days later, on June 26, half the sky was darkened by smoke from the Waldo Canyon fire near Colorado Springs. Within a matter of hours, the smoke and ash in the air were so bad that I could hardly see anything at all outside--just a hazy brown and orange.

Although our home was far enough away to avoid evacuations, the possibility of having to quickly depart brought to mind some important thoughts and questions. What do we take? What's important? What matters most?

I remembered a passage from Eric Sloane's book Diary of An Early American Boy: "The good things of the past were not so often articles [possessions] as they were the manner in which people lived or the things that the people thought. This, of course, is still true; the fine TV sets and modern kitchen equipment we prize now will be junk within a matter of years; the lasting examples of our time will turn out to be the ways that we live or the things that we think."

With a limited amount of time available to evacuate their homes, I heard story after story of families first of all seeing to their safety, then the importance of their photographs. Whether they grabbed collections of printed photo albums or computer hard drives containing their digital pictures, no one wanted to lose their pictures.

We value relationships and the memory of times we've spent with loved ones. While it's important to keep helpful homeschool records, and to celebrate our children's accomplishments, ultimately our relationships with our children matter far more than grade point averages, standardized test scores, or whether or not they graduate from a top-rated university.

Sonlight excels in bringing families together. Sharing great stories with one another is a fantastic way to grow, learn, and strengthen the bonds between parents and children.

What matters most? It's not the size of our television screen, the square footage of our house, the kind of car we drive, or whether or not our children are good at memorizing and regurgitating facts for a test. There are far more important things in life: wisdom, virtue, truth, relationships, the ways that we live, and the things that we think.

Robert Velarde
Author/Educator/Philosopher

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Celebrate Accomplishments

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As a child, my summers were filled with activities: Swim team, mission trips, sleepovers, summer camp, camping, travel, hanging out with friends, and--later--work. I'm guessing the same is true for your kids. Returning to school in the Fall was sometimes a shift to a more relaxed and dependable schedule. But I always found time to create. Homeschooling--with all the free time it gave me--was a perfect setup for establishing this habit.

Saturday morning I finally finished up a project I've been working on for a couple of years now. It's a 36-week free Filmmaking 101 course... and it's been a ton of work. But I'm stoked that it's finally all out there for the world to see and use.

What have your children been up to? Have they created anything cool lately? Have they accomplished a goal? Have they achieved something new?

One of potential drawbacks of accomplishment is the letdown that follows. After a flurry of activity, the quiet afterward can be disappointing. That's why it's so important to celebrate! If your child has just reached a new goal, make it official. Awards banquets are an excellent example of this: There's food, official praise, and often special awards on top of whatever accolades have already been earned. Sonlight's Instructor's Guides come with a special completion certificate for your school year, and I hope you share that with your children. Cast parties and launch parties are common forms of finalizing an effort. But the less formal projects and achievements can be easily overlooked. Please don't! Encourage your kids by rejoicing with them when they reach new heights.


Celebrate

My wife and I often go out for ice cream when we reach a new milestone. The party doesn't have to be big. Will you celebrate with me the completion of my project? A simple "huzzah" would be more than sufficient <smile>.

How do you celebrate accomplishment in your house? Anything we can join in applauding?

 ~Luke Holzmann
Filmmaker, Writer, Empty Nester

P.S. Did you know Sonlight has an entire Forum dedicated to Student Recognition? Please share achievements there too!

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It Doesn't Matter What Curriculum You Use

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Which curriculum you choose to purchase makes little difference to your student's academic performance.

Ouch.

Let's take this a step further: The data show it doesn't matter if you are homeschooled or public schooled. In the end, educational outcome boils down to a few key elements centering on the home environment... whether the student is educated there or not.

You may be wondering: But what of all those nice stats I've heard?

Milton Gaither sums it up this way: These studies show that "some middle-class, white, two-parent, conservative Protestant homeschoolers who volunteered for a research study that was pitched to them as a great opportunity to show off homeschooler success to the public, score in the 80th percentile or above on standardized tests." In short, the data is rigged, or, perhaps, merely unscientifically gathered.

Sonlight does something similar. When we talk about Academic Excellence (see point #5), we show a chart where our numbers are far above all others. That's because the only numbers we have are from our Scholarship Winners. We do state this, but the fact remains: Our graphic plays loose with stats to make a completely unsubstantiated claim. We'd need to put the few test scores we have against the test scores of similarly stellar students to be fair. We don't have that data, so we're stuck using what we've got.

The more research I see out there, the more painful this equality becomes. Painful because I want Sonlight to be the uncontested winner of all things awesome! At the same time, a deeper truth emerges... something I've been saying for a long time: Homeschooling is a great option! Feel free to use whatever will best fit your family; homeschooling is fantastic.

Who you are as a family matters far more than where your students imbibe their formal learning. I'm guessing that which curriculum you choose has a negligible impact on your family's dynamics... in large part because you can select a curriculum that fits your family.

Put simply, based on the available data, all things academic seem to even out between educational options.

All things being equal, how do you choose curriculum?

The way you choose anything: By balancing the options with your values. That's why we have our 20 Reasons NOT to Buy Sonlight article. We want you to think through the values you have and see if they line up with what we offer. If not, please go find something that will work best for your family!

The one thing we can (and do!) guarantee is that you and your students will love learning together.

If all other things are equal, that's a really big deal. So, in a way, it does matter what curriculum you use because it's better, by far, to love learning than to merely muddle through.

Academic performance and relishing learning clearly aren't the only factors to consider when choosing curriculum and educational approach. What factors have encouraged you to make the choices you've made?

~Luke Holzmann
Filmmaker, Writer, Empty Nester

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