Sonlight Homeschooling Blog

Oct. 20, 2011

Identity Crisis ...

By Judy

This past year I've had the opportunity to sit with some heartbroken moms. As they poured their hearts out about bad choices their children were making, and the sorrows of watching their kids walk away from the Lord, I found my heart breaking along with theirs. They had done all they knew to do, and definitely had not seen the expected result.

As most parents would, these homeschooling moms began asking where they had failed. Did they do something wrong while wearing their "homeschooling" hat? Perhaps their academic expectations were too high? Or maybe their children made poor choices in friends because they were "under-socialized"?

Did they do something wrong while wearing their "mom" hat? Perhaps if they had spent just a bit more time talking with their child, instead of putting them off to get some housecleaning done? Or maybe their children were seeking love and acceptance elsewhere because mom hadn't loved them enough?

One mom I spoke with described that she felt as though her arms would break under the stress of trying to keep all the various "balloons" in the air that represented each of her children, her husband, and her multiple responsibilities for homeschooling, housekeeping, taxi-driving, and church.

I've found over my years of homeschooling that I often had to stop throughout my day and think about which "hat" I was currently wearing. There were many times when I would come to the end of a day and wonder if I had fulfilled each of those "identities" well, or if I had failed in any of them. Ultimately, I concluded that I definitely had failed, and would continue to fail in the out-working of each of those identities. I'm human and thus prone to being self-focused, prideful, and lacking in wisdom. But the good and encouraging news is that there is really only *one* identity that matters, and the rest fall into place. My identity as a daughter of the King, a child of my Abba Father, is where the rest of my identities draw their purpose and wisdom.

My response to those moms I sat with this past year was to offer hugs, to weep with them over their heartbreak, and remind them that their children are also fallible. Being a homeschooling, stay-at-home, church-going mom is not *the* recipe/guarantee for success. Our children are free to make choices (just as we are), and they will not always make the correct ones (just as we don't). But we can take heart in knowing that God loves them as much as (and more) than we do. And we can free ourselves from some of the burden by not comparing our "success" or "failure" with our children to other families. And ultimately, we can choose to believe that we have done the very best we are able, by God's grace. And that even where we've failed, God is able to work it all for good.

So take heart wherever you are on your homeschool journey. Keep your eyes focused on the one identity that truly matters. And remember that your children's heavenly Father never fails.

Still on the journey ...
~Judy Wnuk
Sonlight Customer Champion

PS ... if you're interested in chatting with other moms who are juggling multiple hats, be sure to register on the Sonlight Forums. It's a great place to meet fellow travelers on the homeschool journey.

Tagged discouraged, forums, identity | Leave a comment

Oct. 19, 2011

Catching Character...

By Jill

Over the years, I have had many people ask me questions about how to teach positive character traits to their children. And, raising children with good character was high on our family’s list of educational goals.

Years ago, when I was a young mother, I thought you could teach it through books specifically designed for this purpose. We checked out books with titles like "Let's Talk about Whining" and "Let's talk about Lying" from the church library. We still own a book called "Never Tease a Weasel." It has been well over a decade since I have looked at this book but I can still recite:

Never tease a weasel,
Now there's some good advice.
A weasel will not like it,
And teasing isn't nice.

But, you know what? While many of these books were fun to read, they did not help teach my kids not to whine, lie or tease. It was like the books were one thing, life another.

My husband went to a seminar once and brought home some beautiful books with animal lessons. Each animal was supposed to teach a Biblical truth, a character trait for the children to emulate. They were beautiful books with matching coloring books. The kids enjoyed the stories and learning about the various animals. One year I had Chad [then late middle school age] teach a lesson every week to Kari and Scotty for science/character training. The books were that good!

There were ducks and wolves and all sorts of interesting facts woven into the fiber of the underlying theme of teaching character. They loved those books! But, just because they learned that a baby wood duck has to obey his mother at the first call or he will be left in the nest of the hollow tree, it didn’t mean that my children obeyed when I first called.

But, if you follow the logic of the book, the mother duck had some serious character issues of her own if she would leave her own baby behind just because he didn't obey her the first time she called.

Then I understood! Character is caught not taught!

The way to teach children how to be honest is to be honest. I will admit, this is much harder than reading a book called "Let's Talk About Honesty," but I believe this is THE only way to teach character.

The way to teach children compassion is to be compassionate. The way to teach them not to gossip is not to gossip. The way…well you get my drift.

Scary--isn’t it?

You know it's true. Kids watch us like hawks and they don't miss a trick. They see if we give back the extra quarter the clerk gave us in our change. They see if we help a neighbor or look the other way so we can avoid them. They know if we pick up the phone when we know it’s our mother-in-law on the other end. They hear us gossip. But, don't get discouraged! Granted, we are not perfect and we make mistakes; but I think realizing that we are teaching character when we think our kids are not looking, will make us better parents-- better people- and better ambassadors for Christ [One of Sonlight’s Top 10 Goals] ! And, we don't have to be perfect to do a good job.

This is what I believe with all my heart: Character is caught, not taught. [Next Monday, I will let you in on a secret of how to making “catching” good character a little bit easier.]

Take care,

Jill

Tagged character, education, goals, learning | 1 Comment

Oct. 17, 2011

Families Writing

By Karla

My mother saved a few of my school papers, as all mothers do, I suppose. It's interesting to see my little-girl handwriting, but to be perfectly honest, spelling lists and mimeographed worksheets are kind of boring to look it. My mother also saved letters. Boxes and boxes of letters. Now those are fascinating to me. They give a glimpse into relationships and activities our family was involved with all those years ago. It makes me sad that letter-writing is pretty obsolete these days. The boxes of letters pretty much end in the mid-1990s when everyone got email and flat-rate calling became so cheap.

As a grandmother, my mother marvels over the wonders of modern technology and instant communication. With her 5 children and 9 siblings scattered all over the country, each in a different city, she loves being able to stay in touch with all of us. She even has a Facebook account to stay up-to-the-minute with her grandchildren. But she, too, misses the written record that weekly letters provided.

I enjoy writing. Not everyone does. It is an effort. Often it's hard to challenge our children to write their school assignments, let alone "just for fun." They love to text one another and post inane Facebook status updates, but pick up a pencil? Are you kidding?

I'm old-fashioned enough to want a written record of our lives, so over the years I've incorporated some sneaky fun ways to get my family writing more.

One of my favorites is the dialog journal. Using a blank spiral notebook or journal, I will write a short letter to one of the children about something that is going on today. It might be about a school assignment, their chores, something they did well, or current events. I always include at least one question. Then I give the journal to my child with the understanding that I expect a response by the next day. She writes her reply in the same notebook and turns it back over to me. It's a challenge for both of us to keep it going, but it makes a precious keepsake and gives the kids good practice writing. We like to decorate the pages with stickers or doodles.

We also keep a journal in our travel-trailer. Each night that we sleep in the trailer we log where we are, what the weather is like, what we cooked for supper, and whether any friends were with us. We've kept similar journals for road-trip vacations we've gone on-- where we are each night, how many miles we traveled each day, places we visited and people we saw.

And then, of course, there's blogging. While I don't feel as comfortable sharing the nitty-gritty of our daily lives online as some people do, it's still a great way to record the highlights. I have set up private blogs for "family only" at various times. For my daughter's senior year, she and I set up a private blog where we dialoged about current events and other assignments in her Core 400 program. We have another private blog where my parents, siblings, and I share old letters, memories and photos that are pretty much meaningless to anyone else.

What about your family? How are you encouraging your children to write? I'd love to hear your ideas!

Tagged family, heritage, writing | 1 Comment

Oct. 13, 2011

Why did Nehemiah pray?

By Sarita

I imagine Nehemiah was excited to see Jewish travelers approach. Like most Jews at the time, Nehemiah lived in exile and must have been eager to hear news of home.

But the news he heard was not good: Those who survived the exile lived in disgrace. The walls of Jerusalem lay in ruins, the gates burned to rubble.

So Nehemiah fasted and prayed. It appears he prayed for four months, confessing the sins of Israel, asking God to remember his Covenant with His people, and asking God to grant him favor with the King. (Read his prayer here.)

And at the end of that time, Nehemiah was serving in his normal role as cupbearer to the king. The king noticed Nehemiah's long face and asked why he was depressed. Because he had spent so much time in prayer, Nehemiah was ready for this open door.

He told the King how bad things were back in Jerusalem. The king asked what Nehemiah wanted to do. So Nehemiah prayed quickly and replied with exactly what he wanted to do (go to Jerusalem and rebuild the walls) and what he would need from the king to make this happen (letters to grant him safe travel and timber to rebuild the gates). Because God was behind the plan, the King granted his request.

Nehemiah returned to Jerusalem and rebuilt the walls—in 52 days. These walls had been down for 100 years. In 100 years people had been trying to rebuild these walls and they couldn't get it done. The Bible doesn't say Nehemiah had wall-building experience or even leadership experience. The rebuilding process certainly was not easy, but God was clearly working to accomplish His goals. I think God could use Nehemiah to complete such a great task because of those four months of prayer and Nehemiah's courage in trusting the Lord.

If we ever think we're too busy for prayer, let's remember Nehemiah's story. I am convinced that we accomplish the tasks God has for us (whether homeschooling, managing a household or running a business) not in spite of taking time to pray, but because we pray.

Blessings,
Sarita

PS- I can't help thinking that Brother Andrew's story in God's Smuggler bears striking resemblance to the first and second chapters of Nehemiah's story. Brother Andrew was an ordinary man who prayed fervently and stepped out in response to God's continuous call. God protected and provided for him in astounding ways, and the Kingdom of God was advanced. If you've never read God's Smuggler, I highly recommend it. May we, like Brother Andrew, pray fervently and live courageously for the sake of God's Kingdom.

Tagged Bible, Meditation, prayer | 1 Comment

Oct. 12, 2011

Guaranteed Genius

By Luke

Sonlight has a guarantee for our homeschool curriculum, but it's not that your child will become a genius. This idea that all homeschoolers are super bright and far outshine their public schooled counterparts rubs me the wrong way.

This comic is right that socialization isn't really an issue for homeschoolers. That's great. But the implication is that homeschoolers, on the whole, are geniuses and their peers aren't. And that's simply not true.

Hat Tip
Blessed

In fact, the studies I've seen point out that homeschooling doesn't hinder learning... but that's about as far as that data can go. On the other hand, I keep dropping hints about the brilliant public schooled kids I know, like the three girls taking Calculus II as college Freshmen. And they aren't just math whizzes either: Their vocabulary, grasp of science, and understanding of history are all remarkable as well. And they love to learn and aren't particularly jaded about life.

This brings us back to what we discussed on Monday: Let's focus on the things that make homeschooling great. Your children are likely all geniuses, but they probably would be in a school as well. The point of homeschooling is not that your children are guaranteed to somehow turn out better, but that your family will love learning together.

It's annoying that people have such terrible stereotypes about homeschoolers. Let us not be guilty of a similar misjudgment. Homeschooling is an excellent education option. With Sonlight, you are guaranteed to love learning. But remember: A love of learning doesn't guarantee you'll turn out to be a genius.

...but it probably helps along that path <smile>.

~Luke Holzmann
Filmmaker, Writer, Empty Nester

Tagged education, guarantee, Homeschooling, learning | 4 Comments

Oct. 11, 2011

Sonlight Meets Charlotte Mason

By Robert

Charlotte Mason-inspired nature journals

"Charlotte who?" I asked my wife. Having grown up with a public school education, I wasn't too knowledgeable or enthusiastic about homeschooling or the types of approaches available. Several years later, I'm glad to say that I'm not only a father of four homeschooled children, but have learned quite a bit about the many different approaches to education.

Charlotte Mason (1842-1923) combined a unique approach to education that many homeschooling families today appreciate. In my home we've found Sonlight and Charlotte Mason integrate well, rather than being opposites or enemies. Although Sonlight is most definitely focused on literature-rich education, this by no means cuts us off from experiencing the world around us or integrating ideas from other educational methods.

How does the Charlotte Mason method tie in to a Sonlight-based education? I've already written about a learning home, which coincides well with Mason's emphasis on the atmosphere in the home contributing to education in significant ways. In my experience, Sonlight families emphasize the importance of a home that encourages and cultivates learning. As C.S. Lewis wrote, "The task of the modern educator is not to cut down jungles but to irrigate deserts."

The Charlotte Mason approach also emphasizes "living" or "whole" books. This means that rather than using typically dry textbooks that are written by committees, a living or whole book is written by a single author. This, of course, fits in quite well with Sonlight's literature-rich approach. Many of our books are stories written by a single author who is enthusiastic about the topic and can communicate in ways that touch our intellect and emotions.

Narration is also a component of the Charlotte Mason method. This means that children learn to comprehend what they've read by sharing about it meaningfully. Sonlight spends a lot of time helping parents and children engage the material they're reading by posing questions that help children remember and think through what they've read.

Another area where I've found Charlotte Mason ideas integrate well is with science. Charlotte Mason encouraged hands-on learning, especially in reference to nature studies. Each of my children has their own nature journal (two are pictured above), where they can record all kinds of things they encounter in nature such as trees, birds, plant life, wild animals, etc. God's world is filled with wonders that we're often too "busy" to notice. Having a nature journal helps us slow down and enjoy the beauty of the natural world, which often prods us to learn more about what we've seen.

A few years ago I had the pleasure of helping to revise Sonlight's A-G science curricula and am glad to report that many of our hands-on activities were inspired by the Charlotte Mason approach to nature studies.

If you'd like to learn more about the Charlotte Mason approach, feel free to do a search online where you'll find a lot of helpful tips. The book A Charlotte Mason Companion by Karen Andreola is also a great help.

Sonlight and Charlotte Mason work well together. What different approaches to education do you integrate? Why do you like them? Let us know!

Tagged Charlotte Mason, curriculum, educational approach, Homeschooling, nature, science, Sonlight | 6 Comments

Oct. 10, 2011

Not Negative: The Positives of Homeschooling

By Luke

Taryn has an excellent post about how her family started homeschooling. It's fun and encouraging; definitely worth the read.

What inspired me was a profound observation she made: She started homeschooling because of the things pushing her away from other school options. Now, she says, she focuses on the things that pull her toward homeschooling.

Push vs Pull

I've heard many other homeschoolers express similar sentiments. They started exploring homeschooling because something wasn't working in public or private schools. But soon they discover homeschooling isn't a last resort in a long line of bad options. Rather, it is a fantastic way to get an education! In fact, learning together at home has so many benefits, they begin to promote homeschooling for its own sake. The negative factors in other options are still out there, but the benefits of homeschooling far outshine the bad things that nudged them to explore this approach to education.

Marketing gurus suggest that you avoid negatives; don't use the word no.

Er... I mean:

Marketing gurus suggest that you stick to the positives; say yes instead of no. And perhaps that's something we should keep in mind: The benefits of homeschooling are the best things to think about and share with others.

What are your favorite benefits of homeschooling and learning together?

~Luke Holzmann
Filmmaker, Writer, Empty Nester

P.S. Today is the last day to vote for the next Sonlight Catalog cover photo.

Tagged benefits, Encouragement, Homeschooling, learning | 4 Comments