Most kids thrive with the more relaxed, open-ended rhythm of the holiday. But transitioning back into the regular school routine can be a challenge for anyone, let alone children with special needs, learning disabilities, or behavioral challenges. Anxious homeschooling moms circle their Back to School Day in red pencil in their minds, gritting their teeth and bracing for the worst as the date approaches.
Change, and More Change
It's human nature to balk at a return to
expectations
intense concentration
less free time
Who among us relishes diving in to real life after the end of a restful vacation?
The problem is the disruption on top of a disruption many children with special needs feel at the end of a break. While days without math and science were novel and fun, they were still a disruption of the understood routine of life. Since most holiday respites don’t actually last long enough or contain enough predictable rhythm to establish a new routine for a child, going back to the original plan doesn't feel like a return to normalcy. Instead, it’s yet another change: a second shift on top of the first. The cumulative effect is a huge drain on a child’s coping skills.
Never Pick A Monday
Knowing this burden of change helps moms develop a re-entry battle plan for their students with special needs. One trick I’ve learned over the years is to take a cue from my local school district: never start your normal schedule back on a Monday if you can help it.
The short week that comes with selecting a Wednesday or Thursday allows a burst of the old school routine… and then a quick visit back to the relaxed days of being able to choose whatever diversion you wish.
Go Gradual
Another valuable tip is to not dive back into a full schedule all at once. Cherry pick a few favorite or more-easily understood subjects for the first few days. This method allows the child’s sensory system to settle back being focused on school work without the added challenge of taxing academics too.
Save the Hard Restart
It’s tempting feel the tingle of a fresh start in January and decide to mix up your homeschool. If you have a child with special needs, this is not the time for changes. Don't:
Again, your child’s neurological and sensory systems are working overtime to compensate for what feels to them like an abrupt aboutface. Let the dust settle before you bring in the New Order!
If, even after carefully wading back in to school routines, you find that your child is more resistant than usual, vocalizing complaints, having difficulty staying on task, or otherwise is off, consider maintaining a bit of routine over the future breaks. Many children—even those considered neurotypical—have an easier time over extended breaks if they keep one foot in the homeschooling world.
“Mr. Chris said the time between Christmas and spring was always the longest time of the year. It’s true, Marly thought, going to school day after day. Snow fell and fell and melted and melted and then fell again. The roads were icy and piled on either side with old drifts as high as the car. . . . [T]he new gifts got to be just ordinary things lying around with the things you’d had forever and forever.”
—Miracles on Maple Hill
Homeschooling in January and February is, for many families, the most disheartening. The lengthening days are not lengthening enough to make a difference, the weather in many parts of the country is not ideal (and for families in Texas and Florida, the glorious weather can make homeschooling less appealing).
And for whatever reason, the Sonlight schedule pages seem to move most slowly during Weeks 18 through 30.
Here are some suggestions to help you beat the doldrums. Any one of them might work for you in this season—you might pray through the list to determine which is right for you right now.
1. Determine to Press Through
Sometimes the best way through an obstacle is to simply keep going. All jobs have their less-than-ideal moments, as any worker can testify.
If you choose to keep going, you are offering your children a valuable lesson in perseverance. It’s a good choice.
If you choose to make changes, you are offering your children a valuable lesson in flexibility and creative problem solving. It’s a good choice.
3. Take a Mental Health Day
This is an option that Sarita offered her children when life's pressures became too heavy.
Sometimes the best way through an obstacle is to rest, so you can make an attempt another day with renewed strength.
Whether you take a day or a week to regroup, it can be a blessing to have some extra hours to deep clean or work on character training, to bake with young children, or to read sequels of beloved books.
Call it a snow day if you need an excuse. Though unlike public school snow days, you get to pick a day that’s convenient for you, no matter the weather.
You might need some creative scheduling, but you can probably make it work.
Whether you’re doing a 4-Day or a 5-Day program, you can double-up a subject or two a day so you finish a week’s schedule in three days or four.
You can opt for a few audio books, or have an older child wash the dishes while you read ahead (or catch up on reading, as the case may be).
You might skip a few science experiments and watch the Discover and Do DVDs instead.
You can move books to become summer reads, plan to end math a little early or push it to the next year (depending on the program, some programs include review at the first part of the year anyway).
If you choose to take a rest, you are offering your children a valuable lesson in self-care and grace. It’s a good choice.
However the Lord leads you in this season, both the Sonlight staff and your Sonlight sisters (and a few brothers) are cheering for you.
You will get through this season.
As Marly found, in Miracles on Maple Hill, “Then the miracle happened.”
Spring will come again, with all the hope and beauty and good cheer.
The F. family from Lutz, FL has homeschooled for the past 13 years. In this photo, Sydney (16) reads The Hawk and the Dove from Literature 230 with her favorite pet and constant companion, Mango.
Does Sonlight's literature-based homeschool curriculum work for kids on the autism spectrum?
It's a common question! And while it's easy for us to say, "Yes, Sonlight works for kids with autism!", you would probably prefer to hear those assurances from the people who are most qualified to make that statement. You want to know from moms of special needs kids that Sonlight—yes, even with all its Read-Alouds—is going to be a home run for your own child with autism spectrum disorder (ASD).
So we asked Sonlighters with ASD kids one simple question:
How does Sonlight work for your ASD kiddo and you?
Here's what nine different moms reported back.
Short Daily Lessons with Repetition
Courtney B. of Huntington, WV says, "One of mine is what would have been considered Asperger's when that was a diagnosis. I specifically picked Sonlight Language Arts for him because of the short daily lessons that build on each other. Sonlight reviews the same material, a little more in-depth each year. The continuous review is good for my son."
"And I like that it works for my other two boys as well. Neither of them are ASD, and one in particular is advanced, so Sonlight's versatility is nice for our family."
Seeing From Another Perspective
Andrea T., is mom of a navy family currently living in Corpus Christi, TX. She answers, "Mine is Asperger's. Sonlight has been wonderful for us. We’ve used it for 6 years. When I had struggles with the story writing in the Language Arts, I’ve modified to fit his concrete manners."
"The books are wonderful. They have helped him see things from another perspective, and he’s learned so much along the way."
She Finally Feels Confident!
K. Montefusco of Chester, VA says, "My daughter is high functioning but is on the spectrum. She also has ADHD and anxiety. When we pulled her out of school in second grade, she told me she 'just wouldn’t ever be smart like other kids.' Since she was convinced that she couldn’t do school, I wanted something that looked as little like what she thought of as school as possible."
"She is now in 7th grade and working on grade level in every subject, which we honestly weren’t sure would be possible. She does very well with reading and oral discussion, but she does not do well with traditional tests at all. Sonlight lets her learn in a way that works for her. She can read books while hanging upside down off the couch, and it doesn’t matter."
"She may have struggled in public school where she was expected to sit still and quietly and memorize facts, but she finally feels confident and she has learned so much. I have used Sonlight for two other kids with success too. We are so happy that we found Sonlight!!"
He Loves to Read!
Allison B. of Kraft Marietta, GA explains, "My son, who is six, has high functioning autism and is gifted. For us, Sonlight is the perfect fit as he hyper focuses on books. He absolutely loves to read and to be read to, so he cannot get enough of school."
"He especially loves the Science readers; we could sit and read the Book of Knowledge all day. His attention does tend to wander during the fiction Read-Alouds, but by allowing him to do something with his hands, like building with LEGO, he is able to enjoy the stories."
"Honestly, my favorite part about Sonlight is how I can tweak it to each individual child but still instill a love of literature and learning in all my children."
Learning History Through Fiction
Laurie B. in Walker, LA has two sons with ASD. She says, "Our two sons, 14 and 15 years old—both on the spectrum—have loved Sonlight through the years. The historical fiction allows them a better understanding of history through the characters."
"We have used immersion into books to teach them since preschool. Their speech therapists loved Sonlight’s choices in books. We were able to use the books for everything from phonics, empathy, play therapy, life lessons, wrong and right, and of course history!"
"Now in high school, they appreciate being able to work at their own pace. The love having a set plan to follow and the independence it allows them. My 15-year-old specifically appreciates that Sonlight tells the good and bad of history—the truth."
He Asks for the Read-Alouds on Days Off
Amber C. of Hinesville, GA says, "My son is high functioning and has ADHD. He’s four and extremely advanced. Sonlight Pre-Kindergarten works AMAZINGLY well for him. Hearing what happens in story form helps him retain information because he’s very auditory. We do active reading, so I ask questions and engage him throughout each reading. He’s loving it. We’re off school this week, and he asked if we could do our Read-Alouds today. So we did, and it was a great, relaxed family time. We will never even consider another program for our children."
Learning at Her Own Pace
Ruthe F. from Lutz, FL says, "I love homeschooling because my daughter Sydney, who is on the autism spectrum, is free to learn at her pace, along her siblings, with those things (or chickens) that make her feel at peace. I love Sonlight because of the structure and peace of mind it provides the teacher. What a joyful challenge homeschooling is!"
Sydney is pictured at the top of this blog post.
Read-Alouds and Discussion Require No Motor Skills
Cynthia H. of Champaign , IL tells us about her son, "Caleb is autistic and gifted, or as we called it—differently wired. The Sonlight Readers have been an excellent fit! They help his reading skills grow and expose him to a world of ideas and places that he wouldn't choose on his own. The variety and quality of the Sonlight reading list has not disappointed us yet! I love that so much of the curriculum is done out loud. Caleb struggles with fine motor skills such as writing, so a program like Sonlight with Read-Alouds and discussion is easy for our family. I always hear "One more chapter, please"
Excelling Beyond Expectations
Ruth K. of Colon , MI tells her story, "Our son was diagnosed with autism several years ago. The local school district recommended placing him in a self-contained special education classroom. We chose to keep him home and use Sonlight alongside his siblings. He has excelled far beyond anyone's expectations. It is a challenging journey, but seeing him bonding with his siblings over a good book make me very thankful for Sonlight."
So there you have it—nine moms who are successfully using Sonlight to homeschool kids with ASD with Sonlight. It works for them! It may work for you, too. And if it turns out that the fit isn't right, you are covered with our Love to Learn, Love to Teach™ guarantee.
If you have questions about using Sonlight for your child with ASD, we have experienced homeschooling moms who would love to talk to you. Click here to schedule an appointment.
Are you homeschooling multiple kids? Have you ever opened your book to start reading only to realize you're missing at least one of them? This is my life everyday. Without fail, I’ll look up from the second page of the Read-Aloud to notice one child has run off to let the dog outside or grab a cup of water.
Admittedly for a long time this drove me crazy. To be completely honest, sometimes it still does.
Similar Experiences But Different Outcomes
If you have a similar issue, I want you to try a small experiment that helped me realize perhaps one of the most important lessons about homeschooling multiple kids.
Think of a recent family activity. It could be a Read-Aloud, a movie, or even a family vacation. Ask each child separately about the event: what they remember, what they liked, and what they disliked.
For instance, we recently took a beach trip. Both of my older kids spent a ton of time with their dad, collecting shells. They both had a chart of shell names which Dad helped them use to identify the shells in their buckets.
Once home, one child could recall the names of almost all of the shells. The other, who was much more interested in building sand structures and using the shells for castle decorations, was able to recall the names of only two.
Even though they were theoretically having the same experience—shelling with dad on the beach—their impressions were different. They retained different information and remembered different details.
Each Child's Unique Learning Journey
The same thing happens when you homeschool. If a topic sparks a child’s interest, he or she may be more taken with that subject than another child. So many things aside from sheer love of learning can also cause this effect. Sleep, exercise, diet, and social life all affect a child's unique experience on any given day.
This is a huge revelation! Even when given the same information under the exact same circumstances, our kids may hear, interpret, or process information differently. Our kids' learning experiences are going to be different. This is true even if we fight to make sure everyone is there and everyone is paying attention every single time we start to read.
Individualized Education
So, what can we do with this truth? We can learn to let go of trying to make sure all of our children have an identical education.
It’s not possible.
It’s not necessary.
It may even lessen one of the great benefits of homeschooling—being able to learn something new from each other.
If you always wait for everyone to be ready, healthy, and engaged every single time you start to read or go over new material, you will make little progress. You will also likely be frustrated and worry for your sanity. Let it go!
Although it was the hardest thing for me to accept when I first started homeschooling, not all of your children are going to learn the same thing everyday. In fact, that’s not a realistic expectation regardless of how you school or the ages of your children. All kids are different, and on different days they are all going to have different experiences.
No matter how hard you try, no one student’s schooling will be exactly like another. No student’s education is the same. And that is a good thing.
In our many years of homeschooling, there have been some days that were downright dreamy. I don’t know what a perfect school day looks like for you, but for me it’s simultaneously productive and relaxed. And some days homeschooling is hard. So hard. And sometimes the difficulty lasts longer than a day.
I love Christmas, but I think I love the New Year just about as much. There’s something exciting about a fresh start that makes my heart happy, especially in homeschooling. Thankfully, the winter break usually gives me a bit of perspective. I spend the break thinking over what’s working, what’s not working, and what we need to emphasize in the final semester of the year. The past few years, I’ve developed a pretty good system for how to re-evaluate my homeschool in the new year.
The moment you step into a spa, something changes. You relax your shoulders and breathe deeply, drinking in your surroundings. Enveloped by a calming aroma, cozy lighting, and soft music, you exhale slowly, admiring the clean, clutter-free atmosphere around you. Yes, spas are restful because you’re temporarily released from your responsibilities—but they’re also restful in large part due to thoughtfully created environments of rest. Would we go to
a spa to relax,
a library to study,
a coffee shop to write, or
into nature to unwind
if these places were cluttered, dirty, loud, or filled with tension?
Environment matters.And in our homeschools, atmosphere matters, too.
I’ll preface this by saying I’m not perfect. I don’t have a seven-step plan to achieve platinum status in housekeeping ; I’m not the de-cluttering guru of joy-sparking fame. I leave my bed unmade—and cereal bowls on the counter—more often than I’d like to admit. See, the truth is, this doesn’t come naturally to me. But tidiness doesn’t spontaneously occur for anyone; even expert-level homemakers and organizers. Being tidy doesn’t just happen. Being tidy involves work. But I work at it—and continue working at it—because I know aesthetics make a big difference. I can
focus for longer periods of time,
think more clearly, and
maintain a patient attitude more easily
in a pleasant environment, than I can in a cluttered one.
And I definitely feel less stressed in a clean space. Compared to adults, most kids are even more distractible—so imagine the impact a disorderly environment has on children.
This one key to a restful homeschool environment is removing clutter.
Overwhelming Visual Environments Can Disrupt Learning
A 2014 study published in Psychological Science revealed kids were “more distracted by the visual environment, spent more time off task, and demonstrated smaller learning gains when the [classroom] walls were highly decorated than when the decorations were removed.”
If you haven’t been inside a traditional school classroom in the last several years, you might be shocked at the current trend to paper the walls with discordant decor of every remotely-educational variety. It’s become an entire money-making industry. (When I toured a small Christian school before making the decision to homeschool, even the ceilings were decorated. I could hardly catch my breath.)
Teachers I’ve chatted with admit Pinterest-obsession has taken over preparation, with many instructors trying to outdo each other with increasingly-gaudy classrooms. Pyschological Science refers to much of this decor as “displays that are not relevant to ongoing instruction.”And as the study and many others like it concluded, these visually-overwhelming displays actually disrupt children’s education.
Cluttered Home Environments Can Disrupt Learning
Most homeschoolers have not recreated the classroom look. Even those who do find educational posters useful do not generally hang them up en masse as seen in the classroom. We haven’t papered the walls with hall passes and behavioral charts. We don’t have rows of primary-colored cubbies or dozens of lined-up clipboards, and we haven’t placed laminated instructions next to every object.
But are we reading, squished up next to a laundry basket on the couch?
Are we working on neat and precise handwriting with our notebooks pushed up against dirty dishes on a tabletop that’s anything but neat?
Have we replaced the visual environment of school with the cluttered environment of home?
A Restful Homeschool Environment is a Few Habits Away
I’m not writing this to say I’ve arrived; I haven’t. I’m writing this to remind us all that the dozens of tiny things we do throughout the day matter. I’m writing this to remind myself of the sacred responsibility we have as mothers to cultivate a nurturing atmosphere for our children. As we see the clutter creeping, we can
stop to put away the previous school subjects,
sweep the three-hole punch confetti into the garbage can,
walk through the house to collect abandoned drinking glasses, and
Messes Don’t Have to be Our Identify as Homeschool Moms
In the short-run, it’s much easier not to do all that, isn’t it? But I’ve noticed when I skip these menial tasks—when I allow our environment to decay around us—our mood tends to correspondingly deteriorate. Our tempers flare, our fuses run sort. Peaceful atmosphere does not cure human nature, but a chaotic atmosphere doesn’t help it, either. It’s a shorter path to patience in a peaceful space than through the maze of a sprawling, discordant mess.
I live in the real world, and I know you do, too. A certain level of mess is inevitable when you live, work, eat, school, and sleep in the same space. But contrary to popular memes, chaos doesn’t mean we love our kids more.And messes don’t have to be our identity has homeschool moms.
For years, my mom homeschooled three kids through brutal northern winters while my dad worked second shift. She had her hands full. Everyone would have understood if our house reflected the intensity of the season, yet it rarely did. I’m not the clone of my mother by any means, but she taught us to be content and take care of what we had. A clean house doesn’t mean striving and keeping up with the Jones, just as an unkempt home does not mean holier hearts.
If you crave aesthetic beauty, don’t be ashamed. God created orderliness and beauty. If you are overwhelmed with clutter, and don’t know where to start, don’t be ashamed. God will walk with you step by step as you reclaim the physical space around you.
We Can Model the Balance Between Work and Rest
Let’s move toward balance, shall we? Let’s not advocate tidiness at the expense of family relationships, but let’s not slide down the scale toward chaos at the detriment of our families, either. We can practice habits and routines—life skills!—while at the same time speaking life to our children. Pausing for ten minutes to put away the laundry on the couch before we sit down to read aloud will
model a good example for our children of balancing chores and rest,
allow an opportunity to practice self-discipline,
emphasize good habits and routine, and
create an even more restful environment for us to share with our children.
Homeschooling with Sonlight is an orderly, yet restful, education. As we diligently work toward our goals, our homes, too, can reflect that same spirit of orderly rest.
