Sonlight Homeschooling Blog

Dec. 3, 2018

Homeschooling Pre-teen Boys: 8 Guidelines That Bring Peace

It’s happening before my very eyes: my charming, compliant adolescent son is being replaced by a slightly less appealing version—a version that bristles at instruction and grits his teeth at disliked tasks. To be blunt, homeschooling my pre-teen boy is not not terribly fun at this point.

The change is physical, as well. Logan's soft, rounded cheeks and my ability to lean down and kiss his forehead are disappearing at a frightening rate. I know what comes next: soon enough, he will inch above my own 5'9" and begin sporting wisps of (gasp!) scraggly chin hair.

The first time this happened, I was dumbfounded and, if I'm truly honest, a little scared. But I’ve been here twice already with other boys who have morphed into men. This time, I know my job is to:

keep a strong connection with my son
help him navigate the waters of puberty
educate him without losing my cool

Pre-teen Sons Need Autonomy in Their Homeschooling

We struggled in the first weeks of this school year. Many days felt like a wash, with me frustrated at my son’s lack of willingness to go the extra mile and his clearly growing inability to hold in check whatever was eating at him. It didn't dawn on me all at once, but as I began pondering his educational goals for this season, I realized that much of what was getting under my pre-teen’s skin was simply this: he had outgrown my style of mothering him. Somewhere along the line, he had outpaced me. I was offering him the same level of guidance and oversight he had always had... and he just didn't need it anymore.

Armed with this realization, I started consciously weighing our interactions, both negative and positive. Sure enough, my theory held up. If I offered my usual dose of "Hey, let me give you some tips here" mothering, I would be rewarded with slightly raised shoulders and a boy who took little delight in the task. But if I handed this budding young man a job and essentially walked away, I almost always saw straighter back and saw him hunker down happily to the challenge.

Pre-teen Boys Need a Different Flavor of Mothering

It’s a difficult transition. Mothers always see their own children as slightly less hardy than they truly are, and our desire to be their umbrella from failure is huge. We know from the time our children are toddling that we cannot and should not fill that role forever. Yet it still catches us off guard when the time actually comes to back off and let them fall.

Pre-teen boys are capable. (Except, of course, when they’re not.) Moreover, they desire to stretch their wings.

My 8 Guidelines for Homeschooling a Pre-teen Son

My previous experiences with homeschooling pre-teen boys led me to embrace some guidelines. I even went so far to put them in writing so that when Logan's ire begins to stir at my overbearing mothering, I can recall the formula for our changing mother/son dynamic.

1. Give Him Power to Make Decisions

My pre-teen has taken on an ever-increasing share in what goes on his homeschool plate and how he goes about getting it done. For instance, he asked for a typing program when he realized that his hunt and peck method was holding him back. Had I asked him to take up keyboard instruction, I am pretty sure he would have groaned. Since it was his idea, he has been flying through the course.

2. Give Him Ownership

You know why guys don't ask for directions? Because they would rather try to figure it out on their own and be wrong than have you hand it to them on a silver platter and get it right. It's all about the ownership and the act of conquering. The same goes for young men. They would rather try and fall flat than have their mommas hold their hand to sure victory.

3. Offer Meaningful Work

We hand over several household chores (like changing light bulbs and doing small fix-it jobs) as our kids mature, and this slowly expands the scope of the projects they can handle on their own.

What does this have to do with homeschooling? Everything. A holistic approach to education acknowledges that math can be applied in a variety of ways, and books read give us the background that we build on for life.

4. Expect More

The flip side of greater privilege should always be greater responsibility. Making sure we both understood this parallel helped ease the transition.

5. R-E-S-P-E-C-T

Just like their fully grown counterparts, young men need to feel like they are valued and that they measure up. I need to check my tone and word choices to make sure that they convey the same amount of respect that I expect in return.

6. Build Him Up For Future Success

All of that groundwork isn't in vain. My pre-teen son shows every sign of making good choices, following God's call on his life, and being able to handle life's curve-balls. I build him up by saying things like "I know you've got this under control." When I remind him of past labor that resulted in success, it shows I have faith in his abilities. That kind of trust in his character makes him grow two inches taller with confidence.

7. Don't Cushion Natural Consequences

Let the chips fall where they may. Books not finished by Friday afternoon may mean missing family movie night, math assignments prolonged due to dawdling might result in not being able to partake in the communal lunch. That’s life, and learning to accept natural consequences is a vital part of growing up.

8. Be Available

While my pre-teen no longer needs me for the physical stuff, I find that adolescents need even more of my emotional energy. I find that they require more time and support even than preschoolers. Making sure he knows that I am interested, invested, and praying for him daily is vital.

These tactics produce amazing growth in homeschooled boys as they blossom into young men. Is my sweet little guy back? No. He's gone for good. In his place, though, I am now witnessing the unfolding of a kind, responsible young man, learning his way in the world. It's a trade I'm happy to make.

Sonlight has homeschool consultants available to talk to you about the next step of your pre-teen's homeschool journey. Click here to schedule an appointment.

Tagged adolescents, boys, high school, Homeschooling, middle school, parenting, pre-teen, sons, teens | 1 Comment

Nov. 30, 2018

Homeschooling with Sonlight Q&A

By Deana Wood

Homeschooling with Sonlight: a Q&A of FAQs

The Sonlight approach to homeschooling is unique, so it's natural for a newcomer to this curriculum to have a lot of questions. To paint a picture of homeschooling with Sonlight, here are seven common questions with answers—plus more to read if you want to dig even deeper. If your question isn't here, look at the bottom of the article for ways to get answers to anything that may be puzzling you about homeschooling with Sonlight.

Q. How much time does Sonlight take each day?

A. In the early years, a solid Sonlight day is from 1.5-3 hours. As your child gets older, that will increase. High school students may spend around 6-8 hours a day, depending on how deeply they want to to tackle subjects.

Q. How much time will I need to spend reading aloud each day?

A. Families have all kinds of methods for tackling reading with Sonlight. I love to read aloud, so I usually read aloud as many books as I possibly can. Some days, I’ll spend about three hours all together reading aloud. Of course, keep in mind that I have four children spread across two History / Bible / Literature (HBL) levels. With only one HBL, you’ll need to read aloud much less.

Many moms find that audio books checked out from the library are a lifesaver! There are plenty of Sonlight books available on audio book at most local libraries. Some libraries also offer apps for audio files as well. I have found that as much as I love reading aloud, as my older kids have reached more challenging material, I’ve had to hand over some of the reading to them. I now find that hearing about books from them is equally enjoyable, and it gives me a new perspective on the literature seeing it through their eyes.

Q. How can I have meaningful conversations with my older kids when I have littles afoot?

A. Deep, meaningful conversations can be hard to come by when you are knee deep in the toddler years. I have realized that as children grow, particularly in adolescence, a whole new window of time opens up in the late evenings for great discussion. If you can’t block out a time during the day to be relatively uninterrupted, you might try including some book discussions in the bedtime routine. You may even begin to look forward to the evening ritual.

With Sonlight’s new four-day program, I can take one whole day each week to focus on my big kids. For example, this year, my older boys are working through their homeschool assignments mostly independently, and I’ll mark the items on the schedule that I’d like to do together or discuss. On Friday, our “day off,” we will get together and work through those activities, experiments, and discussions without the added stress of keeping younger children going on schoolwork.

Q. How do I tailor Sonlight to my children’s individual interests and learning styles?

A. I have four children, and they all have their very own unique sets of interests and preferences for learning. Many times, figuring it all out is a process of trial and error. For example, my oldest son hates writing. When we first started Sonlight, I planned on his completing the Science worksheets each week. But, after the first week, I quickly realized it was not working. He was getting bogged down with the writing, and we weren’t getting anywhere with the science because of it. So, I began doing the worksheet orally with him each week. He loved science after that, and I enjoyed it much more as well.

My daughter, on the other hand, thoroughly enjoys completing the science sheet each week, so I allow her to do just that. Homeschooling is about finding what works for your child. Some of my kids prefer to complete a project after or during a book reading. Some would much rather do a book report or a discussion. So I simply monitor and adjust as needed.

Q. How do you keep from getting overwhelmed as your children get older and their books get longer?

A. You hand over more independent reading assignments to your children, and you rely more and more on your Instructor’s Guide. It’s completely possible to hold an in-depth discussion on a book you haven’t read as long as you are armed with your Instructor’s Guide. It provides discussion starters as well as enough information to get a pretty good idea of what the book is about.

Also, remember that it is okay to skip a book here and there. At the beginning of the year, I set a number of books, slightly less than the total, that I want my older kids to read from the HBL. If they need to skip a couple, it’s not a big deal because I’ve already planned for it. Keep the extra books for summer reading.

Q. I’m either too rigid or too relaxed. How do I find a balance?

A. There are two keys to a successful balance in homeschooling, setting expectations and consistency. At the beginning of the year, think through your expectations for them. Do you expect them to start their work on their own? Will they need to set their own pace or will you give them a list each day? Once you have set your expectations, consistently keep them.

At some point or another in your homeschooling career, you will find that you have been either too rigid or too relaxed in one area or another. No need to worry. Simply decide what needs to change, possibly asking your child for input, and have a family meeting. At the family meeting, set the new expectations and be consistent in implementing them. As you go, you’ll eventually figure out the balance. Don’t be too hard on yourself. This process of finding balance teaches your children to adjust to situations and find balance in their own lives.

Q. How do I keep up with grading when I have multiple children?

A. Papers can pile up faster than the speed of light in a homeschool family with multiple children. My best tip is to keep a pen or highlighter with you at all times. As you work with your kids, give them immediate feedback on their work. This is especially important in the early years. You want to correct errors before they memorize the mistake. As they work or soon after they finish, glance over their paper and circle anything they need to look at. Have them immediately correct their mistake. They won’t learn from the mistake unless they correct it themselves.

Staying on top of homeschool work becomes more challenging as your child gets older. For older students, I recommend going over their work at the end of each day. Sit down with your answer guide and your child, and go through the day's assignments. Mark anything they need to look at, and have them correct their mistakes as soon as possible. There are many laws concerning keeping homeschool grades across the states, so always check your local laws for what is required in terms of grading and record keeping.

In my state, we aren’t required to keep any grades although I choose to record grades anyway. I do, however, simplify my grading. I only keep test grades in math. Daily work simply goes in the portfolio without recording it as part of the final grade. For reading, I keep a record of the books read and I’ll note the score on the comprehension questions in the Instructor’s Guide. I’ll also record the occasional book report or book project grade. For writing, I only record scores for the writing pieces, not the weekly language arts score. Once a paper has been graded or checked and corrected, it goes in a file for that child. At the end of the year, we will spend a day putting together our portfolios. Not recording every grade and not worrying about the portfolio every day prevents any feeling of being overwhelmed.

4 Ways to Use the Simple Tool of Talking in Your Homeschool

By Erika Evans

Do your kids talk a lot? Mine too! On more than one occasion I have prayed for an off button. I have one who can go on endlessly about Greek mythology and another who could set fire to my ears with his talk of cars. Another is a storyteller, and the baby, well let’s just say he’s perfected the pterodactyl scream for attention.

They come by it honestly. The whole family is full of big talkers—myself included. The house is never quiet. Any moment of silence, no matter how short, is cause for celebration!

Fortunately, all that time we spend listening to our kids is worth it! Language is more than just a way to communicate; it is how we think. Working together, we share ideas through speaking. Even as we complete independent tasks, there is an internal dialogue.

How Talking is Learning

As homeschoolers, we have an awesome opportunity to harness the power of talk to enhance our children’s education. We aren’t in a classroom where children are constantly being shushed. Thus we don’t have to do the majority of the talking or limit ourselves to yes and no questions. Instead we can help our children move beyond just hearing words to using them.

Homeschooling is an opportunity to immerse our children in active conversation and debate. We can help them

develop ownership over discipline-specific vocabulary, grammar and punctuation
learn to apply rhetorical conventions and devices that are typical for a content area
move beyond basic listening comprehension to discernment and reflection

We do this by engaging our kids in discussions where they are using academic language, asking questions, and safely voicing skepticism. When a student uses academic language as their own and pairs it with their unique perspective and expression, they are truly learning.

1. Encourage the Use of Discipline or Content Specific Language

When discussing a topic, use the appropriate language and pronounce it correctly. Model this yourself by looking up the appropriate pronunciation of a name or place when necessary! I look up the name of a Greek god or goddess at least twice a week. It’s worth it to have my kids feel secure in using the language. If this is a real struggle, as it is for me with names of the Greek deities, audio books can be a game changer!

2. Request Narration

Rather than asking questions that can be answered with incomplete sentences, ask for a synopsis that requires more elaborate narration:

What do you remember about Isaac Newton?
Describe how water gets to the faucet in our home.

This kind of talk encourages our kids to take ownership of content-specific words. Based on what they say, we know if they are grasping the material or not. Your Sonlight Instructor's Guides offer discussion starters for talking about the books that are scheduled each week.

The easiest way to expand vocabulary is to talk to, and read with, your children.

3. Encourage Two-way Discussion

Share your own thoughts and experiences on a subject with your kids. Ask for theirs. Find out how they feel about a topic, not just what they know.

Encouraging kids to express themselves about topics they feel strongly about can spur incredible (and at times heated ) conversations. These are fabulous learning opportunities!

4. Seek Conversations with Experts and Hobbyists

Giving our kids a chance to talk with experts and hobbyists can help cement the correct usage of words. A twenty minute conversation with a dairy farmer talking about mastitis is probably one of the most beneficial talks my kids have ever experienced. They got to listen to the issue, hear the farmer’s words, and ask questions using their newly gained terminology. The conversation offered proper pronunciation and context, but also gave the kids a chance to really recognize the usefulness of their new words.

Having four children learning out loud in my home has certainly taught me the value of silence. Yet, I also recognize that all their talking is helping them move beyond language comprehension into developing thinking. For that I’m eternally grateful.

Get our free guide A Beginner’s Blueprint to Language Arts: The No-stress Guide to Teaching Language Arts with Purpose. Download it here at no cost.

Tagged conversation, discussion, homeschool, Homeschooling, narration, talking, vocabulary, words | Leave a comment

Nov. 23, 2018

Extension Activities for Winnie the Pooh

By Veronica Soto

Winnie the Pooh is one of the Read-Alouds from History / Bible / Literature A Intro to the World: Cultures. But it's more than that to me. It's a childhood favorite and one that I love introducing to my children each time one of them reaches that level. It's a classic for so many reasons, not the least of which is that it can be appreciated on so multiple levels—enjoyed by a six-year-old and simultaneously enjoyed by an adult on yet another deeper level.

The stories can be a bit of a tongue-twister at times, and there are a lot of characters to keep straight, but when you can push through, you are rewarded with an incredibly fun story about the most precious of characters.

While reading and discussing is always plenty when it comes to a great book of fiction, sometimes a family wants more! We like to add extra activities inspired by our Read-Alouds, and here are the ones we did, chapter by chapter, through Winnie the Pooh by A.A. Milne. I hope they inspire you to your own enrichment activities as you enjoy this classic.

In Which We are Introduced to Winnie-the-Pooh, and Some Bees, and the Stories Begin

One interesting aspect of this novel is that it is a story within a story, told to Christopher Robin about his stuffed animals.

Your children might have their own menagerie of stuffed animals and dolls they play with on a regular basis. My two youngest girls certainly do! So after reading this chapter, we held a tea party for their stuffed friends.

We feasted upon Italian bread with peanut butter, and in honor of Pooh’s adventures, fresh honey alongside our juice. I blew up two balloons and tied them to the handle of the pitcher with festive yarn. During tea, we took turns making up stories about my girls’ own animal friends.

When my older son enjoyed Winnie the Pooh, we modified the tea party idea. We called the event elevenses and invited his favorite cars to snack with us.

In Which Pooh Goes Visiting and Gets Into a Tight Place

Pooh is delightfully enjoying his honey in this chapter, and my two girls were so excited about the tea party from the day before, that we decided to have another one. We had leftover bread with honey, toasting the bread this time.

During tea we had a talk about table manners:

the correct way to invite oneself over to a friend’s house (call and ask first)
what to do if one is hungry while out visiting (take small portions, wait before asking for seconds, not eating too much, and eating more at home if they are still hungry)
proper table manners that we might be more relaxed about at home
sitting up straight
the correct way to decline food they don’t like

In Which Pooh and Piglet Go Hunting and Nearly Catch a Woozle

In this chapter, Piglet and Pooh are following tracks, hoping to see what type of creature could be at the other end. We tried tracking of our own. I hand drew four different shaped tracks and made about 20 or so of each track type.

I then took a safety pin and pinned one track shape to four different stuffed animals. I then hid the animals and used the remaining tracks to create trails leading to each animal. Once they followed the various tracks and found the animals, I hid them again in different areas, and had them try to guess which animal would be on the other end based on the track shape. They spent the next hour or so hiding the animals again and again, and then helping the other to track them down.

In Which Eeyore Loses a Tail and Pooh Finds One

Since Eeyore is a donkey, we played the party classic Pin the Tail on the Donkey.

Also in this chapter, Owl finds a scrap of cloth which he uses as a bell-rope. I quickly grabbed a few items around the house: a hanger, a shower curtain ring, a long thin strip of cloth, and a small cardboard box without a cover. I asked my girls if they could come up with different ways to use each item. I got a lot of very silly answers, a few interesting answers, and a couple of extremely creative but workable answers, as they practiced using their brain power to think of ways to repurpose various items.

In Which Piglet Meets a Heffalump

It appears Pooh never does find out exactly what a heffalump is or what one looks like, and sadly, neither do we. My girls really wanted to know what one would look like, so for this chapter's craft, we created our own heffalumps. We finished by hanging our heffalump art and having another snack of bread with honey.

In Which Eeyore Has a Birthday and Gets Two Presents

Pooh and Piglet didn’t have much time to prepare for Eeyore’s birthday and yet managed, as good friends should, to come up with two heartfelt gifts on short notice. I had my girls quickly look around the house and come up with a present to give their father before he came home. I left all the choices up to them, only stipulating that I wasn’t going to buy anything. We really had no reason to celebrate, but it’s always fun to show someone you appreciate them. One of my girls found some scraps of cloth and cut out shapes and glued them to cardstock to make a card. My other girl found a box, put two of her small toys in the box, and wrapped it up.

In Which Kanga and Baby Roo Come to the Forest and Piglet Has a Bath

For this chapter we made fabric pockets for pretend Kanga and Roo play. Using some large fabric scraps, the girls drew a large pocket and cut out two shapes. Lining them up, I stitched along three edges, and flipped the pocket inside out. Then, I helped the girls hand sew straps to the pocket to make apron-type strings. Tying the pockets around their waists, they used the pouches to carry their "babies," pretending they were Kanga carrying Roo.

History / Bible / Literature A

In Which Christopher Robin Leads an Expedition to the North Pole

This chapter begs for a nature walk, so that’s what we did, in search of our own North Pole. About 20 minutes into our walk, we found a pole which my girls insisted was the same pole Pooh had found. Happily, we propped it into a standing position and left it there for others to find. We hiked a ways longer, had a short snack, and began the return trip home, waving at our pole as we passed.

In Which Piglet is Entirely Surrounded by Water

I was kind of stuck for ideas on this chapter, and asked my older children to help come up with some. My one son was no help. He suggested we try flooding the house, and I wasn’t quite willing to do that for a craft project. Instead we decided to once again get out our large tub, fill it with water, and practice finding things that a small toy could float to safety on. I gave each girl a LEGO figure and had them try various items to see which items would help them float the best.

In Which Christopher Robin Gives Pooh a Party, and We Say Good-bye

We finished up our study of the life of Pooh by having our own tea party, which was remarkably similar to our tea party of the week before. We had more bread with honey with banana and dried fruit slices, in honor of Pooh, with milk. We talked about the things we liked in the book, and then sat back and watched the movie.

After the Book

Winnie the Pooh has been produced in several audio versions you can listen to, including one endorsed by the original Christopher Robin. There are also several different movies and cartoons you may want to enjoy.

We went on to read The House at Pooh Corner, and then we will delve into the poetry of A. A. Milne in When We Were Very Young and Now We are Six by the same author, having loved them from our first few times through.

To find out more about Sonlight's unmatched Read-Alouds, and our complete book-based homeschool programs, order a complimentary copy of your catalog today.

Tagged activities, crafts, extensions, hands on, HBL A, kindergarten, literature, reading, winnie the pooh | Leave a comment

Nov. 21, 2018

Homeschooling with a Toddler in the Mix

By Bethany Weathersby

Over the years I’ve had many people ask how I manage to homeschool when we have a baby in the family. That’s a breeze, as far as I’m concerned. Babies sleep a lot, are held a lot, and stay in one spot when you put them down. Getting homeschool done is a cinch with a baby in the house!

Toddlers, on the other hand, are awake a lot, move a lot, and talk a lot. Needless to say, they can wreak havoc on our best laid homeschool plans. Here are four things our family has done to ensure both a productive school day and a happy toddler.

1. Make the Most of Nap Time to Homeschool

Whichever parts of homeschooling work best with the least amount of distraction are the ones you should do while your toddler naps.

Which subjects require your most focused attention?
If you have at least two school-aged kids, which student needs the most help from you?

Perhaps that means nap time looks the same every day—a predictable routine that guarantees everyone’s work gets done. Or maybe it means taking it day by day, using that uninterrupted time for whichever need is greatest at the moment.

Nap times will decrease in frequency and length over time, so make the most of this opportunity for uninterrupted productivity while you can. It teaches your older kids how to focus on a task when there’s limited time to get things done and gives you the freedom to interact with your toddler later in the day.

2. Enlist Siblings to Help

A sibling doesn’t have to be much older than the toddler to be helpful in keeping the youngest family member entertained. When our third and fourth kids were little, we’d assign the two and three older kids specific time slots to play with the toddler. The time of day and length of time we chose for each pairing was strategic, doing our best to set everyone up for success. The older sibling’s job was simply to keep the toddler occupied with something safe, fun, and quiet enough to not be a huge distraction to the kids doing school work. Depending on the age spread and how the day was going, sometimes I told them how to spend their time and other times I let them figure it out on their own.

I love how this approach gave me a chance to work with one kid at a time, allowed various sibling pairs to nurture their relationships, and presented opportunities for the older kids to make a positive difference in the flow of our days.

3. Include the Toddler When You Can

It’s not always realistic to get everything done with your toddler out of the way, so look for ways to do school with the little one in tow. One great option is to read a Read-Aloud at breakfast or lunch when they’re happily restrained in a high chair.

Another option is to have the toddler snuggle on the couch while you read to an older sibling. Just give your toddler a stack of picture books, letting them know they can quietly look through their own books while you read a chapter book to the older kids. If the schoolwork requires only a little bit of your attention, then let the toddler hang out with you and just answer questions from your students as needed.

There’s a time for being solely focused on school work, which necessitates minimizing of distractions from a toddler, but it’s equally important to include them whenever possible. That’s how they learn not to be disruptive. As a bonus, their siblings learn to focus amid distractions, and you get to soak up time with all your kids at once.

4. Exclude the Toddler at Times

At some point in family life, a child has to learn to entertain themselves, something which may need to happen sooner in a homeschooling family in order for school work to actually get done. There’s no one right way to go about this, as there are countless factors to consider that vary from one household to the next. But the point is simply to teach your young child to keep themselves busy doing something appropriate while you teach your other kids.

Whether you get five minutes a day or an hour, a solid chunk of time or little snippets, this gentle toddler training will be helpful for your whole family. It’s easy for the youngest kid in the house to assume they’ll constantly be entertained by other family members, so it’s good for them to learn how to be content with solitude.

The Caveat of Homeschooling with a Toddler in the Family

Although I’ve spent time explaining how to work around toddlers, it’s also really important to make them just as much of a priority in your day as your older kids. Read books, sing songs, and play with toys. Go for walks, give bubble baths, and laugh together. Those toddler years can be hectic, which is why you have to be proactive in choosing how to manage your school responsibilities. But toddler years are equally precious and short-lived. Don’t get so caught up in minimizing the negatives that you fail to maximize the abundant positives.

Curious to see what this type of family-inclusive education might look like for you? Go to SmoothCourse to explore your options.

Tagged family, Homeschooling, scheduling, Time Management, toddler | 2 Comments

Nov. 19, 2018

How After School Reading Develops Emotional Intelligence

By Jen Brimhall

We often praise living books for their academic value—as well we should! But what is often overlooked is the emotional intelligence our children develop from exposure to great literature.

Though my children attend public school now, we often read books from Sonlight’s Read-Aloud list as a family in the evenings. Currently we are reading Carry On, Mr. Bowditch. And while they are learning plenty of navigation, geography, and history through the novel, they are growing in emotional intelligence, too.

1. Reading Helps Children Feel for Others

Living books spur the imagination and help our children experience emotion:

love
sympathy
anger
jealousy
excitement
fear

Emotions spill from the pages of every living book.

These books make us feel the emotions the characters are feeling. This experience is key! Often we are so wrapped up in our own lives, we forget to feel for others. We forget to see from another perspective. We fail to experience empathy.

Living books help us feel deeply for others, making it easier for us to recognize and honor the feelings of those around us. When we are immersed in a great book, we are able to see the whole picture of a situation, something which is more difficult in real life.

For example, in Carry on, Mr. Bowditch, we feel crushed as Nat’s father is hard on him, as family members die, and when Nat is unexpectedly sold as an indentured servant. We also feel his tender love for family members, his passion for learning, and elation at his success.

When we discuss the books we read, I further encourage this tendency to step into the shoes of a character. I ask my children, “How would you feel in [such and such] situation [from the book]?” I see emotion flicker across their faces as they mentally place themselves in another's circumstances.

2. Reading Helps Children See Cause and Effect Clearly

As we watch how the main character reacts to events and emotions in his or her life, we can clearly see cause and effect. In Carry on, Mr. Bowditch we see how Nat’s father’s alcoholism and depression affect his family. Conversely, we see Nat’s refusal to give into despair during difficult times and how his hard work pays off. We even see how math can save lives!

As a parent, I deeply appreciate the discussions that these books facilitate after school. My children are easily able to recognize the consequences of a character’s actions, and this translates well into real life. We go over “what if” scenarios in the book, and then when the time comes for decision making in real life, my children are able to think more clearly about the possible results of their own actions.

3. Reading Provides Positive Mentors and Role Models

Through the great books they read after school, our children have mentors and positive role models. For example, Nat Bowditch provides a great lesson with his personal motto, “Sail by ash breeze.” This reference to hard work is something we can all apply to our lives.

Because we have enjoyed this book together as a family after school, when something is hard in our home, we can use Nat's phrase. We say, “That’s okay. We can just sail by ash breeze.” When faced with a challenge, I've asked my children, “I wonder what Nat would do in this situation?”

Reading living books after school can be an inspiring time together for families. These books fire our imagination, develop empathy, show us the consequences of actions, and provide positive role models. I am so very grateful to have these friends and mentors in our home.

As you look for great books to add to your after school reading stack, consider these family favorites. I added some of the lessons that my children and I gleaned from reading them.

The Family Under the Bridge: looking beyond appearances, compassion
Little Britches: hard work, responsibility, love
The Land I Lost: appreciating other cultures and talents
Johnny Appleseed: The Story Of A Legend: gentleness, trust, love, giving, simplicity
Adventures With Waffles: friendship, acceptance, mourning, family
Charlotte’s Web: friendship, sacrifice
The Aesop For Children: common sense
Banner in the Sky: fear, adventure, sacrifice, love
James Herriot’s Treasury: the gift of animals
The Hundred Dresses: guilt, bullying, poverty awareness
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Tagged afterschooling, books, emotional, enrichment, intelligence, maturity, reading, wrad | Leave a comment

Nov. 16, 2018

You Want Me To Talk to My Kindergartener About Nazis?

By Heather Mills Schwarzen

Although it’s been a decade and a half since I first unboxed History / Bible/ Literature A Intro to the World: Cultures (HBL A), I can still remember my awe as I familiarized myself with each book. Some titles I knew well; I was thrilled at the prospect of reading favorites like My Father’s Dragon and The Story of Doctor Doolittle to my children. Some, like Cappyboppy and The Apple and the Arrow, were new to me but eventually became favorites among my crowd.

The Case Against Reading Twenty and Ten to a Kindergartener

But one title me shudder: Twenty and Ten. I remember cringing at the cover art—young children tucked into a hole, horrified at the presence of a Nazi officer. I scanned the text on the back—French refugees hiding Jewish children and set the book aside. I’ll look a bit more closely before reading that to them, I told myself.

The next day, I logged in to the forums*, hoping to find wisdom from veteran homeschool moms. The book, I saw immediately, was divisive. Many homeschooling parents found much to love in the story, which had been first published in the early 1950s. Others, like me, were less inclined to introduce our young children to the concepts the book covered:

children separated from their families during a catastrophic war
food shortages
evading the Nazi regime
the death of Jews

It felt more than a little heavy to read to my second grader, let alone my kindergartener! I shelved the title and didn’t look back.

Reconsidering Twenty and Ten for Young Children

When I found myself back at HBL A with another grouping of learners, however, I had a different take. Having delved quite deeply into WWII with my high schoolers in Sonlight 300, I was better prepared to answer any questions that may have arisen through reading Twenty and Ten, as well as being more aware of how pivotal stories like this are to helping young children lay the groundwork for the truth that sin is real, and it has consequences.

I dove into the Read-Aloud and didn’t regret it.

Did it require setting a scene for my children as we read, reminding them of the events of the day? Absolutely.
Was there an element of very real peril? Without a doubt.
But were my children scarred? No.

As a matter of fact, the dialogue opened was full of real-life application of the Scriptures we try so hard to hide in the hearts of our little ones!

Discussing Good Versus Evil with the Help of Twenty and Ten

The book Twenty and Ten confronts us with a stunningly horrific period of history, as told through the eyes of children. But it also allows us to face the uncomfortable realities of our modern world. In reading the book, I realized that I need not fear age-appropriate conversations with even young children about difficult matters whether they are the persecution of Christians around the globe or what life is like under the brutal North Korean regime.

The Bible is full of stories that lay bare the struggle between God’s goodness and grace, and Satan's evil and depravity. The tale of French children harboring their Jewish peers as they flee Nazi atrocities is just another chance to talk about God’s sovereignty and the good works for which we were created.

I’m so grateful that Twenty and Ten was included in a program designed for younger children. I believe it lays the foundation for a softening of hearts towards those in need, and reminds our children that Satan does prowl about like a roaring lion, seeking to destroy. It’s a painful story in many ways, but it’s the kind of pain that bears fruit. Reading it with your children will, I believe, open the doors to the kind of education that enriches not just the mind, but the heart as well.

*The forums are now replaced by a Facebook group just for Sonlighters. You are welcome to join us there! It's a great place to discuss concerns about books, share teaching tips, or get a boost of encouragement from mother parents who know what you're going through.

Tagged books, difficult, HBL A, kindergarten, reading, Sonlight, twenty and ten, war | 1 Comment