Sonlight Homeschooling Blog

Oct. 1, 2018

11 Tricks for Homeschooling the Strong-willed Child

Some parents are blessed with children who are very laid back and compliant. Others have children who are stubborn or resistant. And still others, like myself, are parents of strong-willed children. These children like to push boundaries and break limits.

Parenting this type of child can be challenging, and homeschooling them more so. But with hard work and a bit of ingenuity, it can be done well. Here are eleven parenting and homeschooling tricks that I've found effective with my own strong-willed children.

1. Reframe Your Perspective

Most parents of strong-willed children know who they are, but here are some signs:

low frustration tolerance
intense and prolonged anger
a propensity to dawdling and procrastination
a tendency to question everything and argue about anything
a knack for seeking ad finding exceptions to the rules
the habit of ignoring instructions they don’t want to follow
bossiness
limited patience

Fortunately, these same traits can serve them well as adults if channeled into leadership and critical thinking. Instead of focusing on the negative, look at the positive traits these characteristics can mature into:

low tolerance for frustration can propel them activity instead of passively waiting for things to change
intense and prolonged anger may help them take up a cause and fight for what's right
dawdling and procrastinating may lead to trimming unnecessary work and repetition
questioning and arguing means they won’t go along with the status quo but will speak against what they feel is wrong
looking for the exceptions will help them think outside the box and create better solutions
ignoring instructions they don’t agree with will help them stand up to peer pressure
being bossy may help them to become strong leaders
having little patience may motivate them to work efficiently

While these are all great qualities in an adult, they are not attractive in a child who is standing up to her parents. The rest of the tricks below will help you avoid battles while you hone those stubborn traits into constructive leadership.

2. Build Routine

My strong-willed children do better with a routine to follow. Although we don’t follow a strict schedule, we do have a list of school work and chores I would like to get done each day of homeschooling. Having this daily routine provides clear expectations that my children are more likely to comply with than an ever-changing lifestyle. Although my children don’t always like doing their chores or schoolwork, they know they can't easily argue their way out of them.

3. Share Power

Instead of taking a stance against a problem, present the problem to your child and ask for their input for how to solve it. For example, one of my sons was struggling to complete his work each day. Instead of laying down the law, I asked him what it would take for him to work through his stack of books each day. Working together, we were able to rearrange his daily schedule in a way that suited him. As a result, he began finishing much more quickly than before.

4. Emphasize Teamwork

Allow your strong-willed child to respectfully request an alternative course of action, knowing you have the right to veto it after fully considering it. One of my daughters was having a hard time with her language arts program, and when she asked me nicely to switch programs, I listened intently to her request and probed for more details.

After discussion, I discovered there was a two-fold problem: she was having trouble with the way the instructions and questions were written, and it was asking for more writing than she was willing to do. We switched to a different language arts program that met my requirements but had less writing, and the problems were resolved.

5. Give In

While this may sound odd, allowing your children to “win” on occasion can help them feel heard and validated. One area where I often give in is allowing them to do every other math problem. If they can do half of the problems and get them all correct, they are done. But for each problem they get wrong, I have them correct the problem and do two additional problems besides.

6. Take Turns

Sometimes, fixing a problem can be as simple as taking turns. One method I use quite often with my dyslexic children is to allow them to dictate every other writing assignment. They still get in a lot of writing on the days they do write. And on the days when I serve as their scribe, they still get plenty of practice.

Other families I know take turns reading with a struggling reader (the parent and child read alternating lines, pages, or chapters). Other parents do chores alongside their children, sharing the task.

7. Offer Praise

A few words of praise go a long way. Try catching your child performing behaviors you’d like to see more of, and compliment them on their good attitude. Compliments I enjoy giving out include:

Great job waiting patiently until I was done! What did you need?
I saw how hard you worked on this page. And no tears! I’m very proud of you.
Thank you for asking so nicely. It sounded beautiful to my ears.
It was so lovely to see you sharing all on your own. I think that was a wonderful thing you did.
You made my day easier by doing your work quickly today. I really appreciate it.

We all like to hear words of praise, and children typically try harder when they know adults notice their good job.

8. Keep Them Busy

Children who are busy have less time to devote to arguments, debates, and finding fault. Bored children are often unhappy children. While it’s not up to you to fill every minute of the day with activity, if you watch their behavior you will notice that their obstinate side emerges when they have too much free time. If you can distract your strong-willed children with chores, exercise, assignments, or games, you might be able to prevent arguments and struggles based on boredom rather than true problems.

9. Alternate Task Types

You may want to lump similar activities together in chunks of time. For example, you may want to do all the seatwork at once, then move to Read-Alouds, and finally do the more hands-on science and music. While that plan may be efficient in theory, I’ve found alternating task types works better, especially for my strong-willed children.

For example, if I put language arts and math back to back, my children have to do a lot of writing, and their muscles get fatigued. They begin to complain about the assignments, using any and every excuse—except for a tired hand—to get out of the work. Or if I schedule History and Read-Alouds too close together, a child may start tuning out after 30 minutes. Their ability to listen was simply tapped out past the half-hour mark.

By alternating activity types, and giving portions of the brain and body a rest in between, I can minimize the strong-willed battles without saying a word. So perhaps we do a bit of handwriting to warm up hand muscles, then a bit of history to sharpen listening skills, and then back to language arts for more writing.

10. Offer Choices

It’s harder for a child to argue with a choice they made than one you made for them. For example, compare these two options:

“It’s time for math.”
“Would you rather do math or language arts first?”

The latter question gives your strong-willed child the power to decide but within the parameters you provide.

11. Disguise Correction

Some children hate being told they are wrong and having their mistakes pointed out to them. Sometimes simply rewording what you are correcting can help the child fix mistakes without the drama.

One example I use frequently is to blame the work, not the child. For example, if my child was sweeping the floor and missed a spot, I could say, “You missed a spot.” At least two of my children would take this as an invitation to argue, saying “No, I didn’t. I just haven’t gotten there yet.” But if I say, “Oops, looks like that crumb just jumped on to the floor when you weren’t looking," they’re more likely to laugh and sweep it up without argument.

If I say, “This letter is backward,” that might send my 5-year-old perfectionist into tears. If I say, “Wow, it looks like this letter is playing tricks on us by turning around when you weren’t looking. Let’s catch him and turn him around the right way and make him behave,” I’m more likely to get giggles and have her point out other letters that are misbehaving.

Strong-willed children are simply young leaders who haven’t yet fully developed their unique skill set for constructive purposes. As homeschool parents, we have the opportunity to work on attitude and behaviors in a holistic way that a classroom teacher could never afford to. We can guide them in a way that helps them both hone character and bolster academics all at once.

To find out more about Sonlight's flexible, book-based homeschool programs, order a complimentary copy of your catalog today.

Tagged Homeschooling, parenting, strong-willed | 1 Comment

Sep. 28, 2018

Homeschooling in a Family Mix of Introverts and Extroverts

By Bethany Weathersby

Many people confuse being an extrovert with being outgoing and an introvert with being shy. Although there’s often quite a bit of overlap, they’re not the same thing. Extroverts sometimes need periods of solitude and silence, but they’re energized by being around other people.

Introverts, on the other hand, often enjoy being in the company of other people, but they recharge by having time alone. So what happens when the personality of a homeschooling parent doesn’t jibe with their family’s homeschooling reality?

Extroverts Who Need to Stay Home

Sometimes an extroverted parent finds themselves in charge of introverted kids. Mom or Dad wants to take advantage of the freedom that homeschooling allows, filling up their days with teams, classes, groups, and excursions. Their kids, however, want to stay home, quietly going about their days. Most outings are met with poor attitudes and behavior from kids who are simply maxed out.

Both sides need to compromise somewhat. It wouldn't be fair for the entire family to stay home every single day. Those more introverted kids need to learn to go with the flow when they don’t feel like it, but parents also don't need to overextend their introverted kids.

Maybe the problem isn’t about opposite personalities, but rather a need to buckle down and take care of academics. The extroverted parent can easily flit from one activity to another and neglect key academic responsibilities. That doesn’t mean the outside activities aren’t beneficial or that the kids aren’t learning things in the midst of the fun things they’re doing. But we each know when we’ve crossed over into irresponsibility for our own family.

How can an extroverted parent get their people fix without jeopardizing their introverted kids’ sanity or academic achievements?

Social media – It’s important to have self-discipline and not allow social media to consume your days, but it’s such a great way for extroverts to get regular human interaction in a season of life where they need to be home more often than not.
Email loop – Invite a small group of friends to participate in an ongoing email conversation. The opportunity to invest in friendships while staying at home, and doing so in a manner that doesn’t conflict with school responsibilities, can be priceless.
Weekly outing without kids – Find something to do for your own benefit, a regular activity you can attend while your spouse or another person you trust stays home with your kids. It doesn’t even have to be a formal meeting. Connecting with friends at a coffee shop or going on a walk together one night a week can do the trick.
Weekly outing with kids - Pack up the introverts and set aside the day’s school assignments to do something fun. It’s important for you, as an extrovert, to have outings with your family and for them to understand the value of putting other people first.

Introverts Who Need to Get Out

In some families, there’s an introverted parent spending each day with an extroverted kid or two. They’re desperate for some peace and quiet, a chance to be alone, but their kids are going stir crazy and begging to hang out with other people. Those kids don’t need every square on their calendar filled up, but it’s important that that they have opportunities to develop relationships with people outside of their own four walls.

Sometimes it’s not the kids who need to get out as much as the introverted parent who’s raising them. It’s not uncommon for an introvert to take their need for time alone to an extreme and end up isolating themselves. While there’s nothing wrong with generally avoiding big crowds or constant interaction, we are created to need each other. Introverts have things to offer the people in their lives and can benefit from what those people offer them.

What are some ways the introverted parent can get themselves and their kids away from home on a consistent basis without being overwhelmed?

Groups/classes led by others – Being part of something where you can sit on the sidelines or help out behind the scenes allows your household to enjoy the benefit of doing things with other people in a way that doesn’t stretch you beyond what you can handle.
Park days – If you head to your local park, you’ll find the extroverts in your family will instantly find other people to play and visit with. You can spread a blanket on the lawn and read a book while they entertain themselves. Or you can enjoy casual conversation with other parents there.
Weekly outing without kids – An introvert’s kids may be awesome, but it’s still going to wipe them out to never get a break. A regular chance to leave the house by yourself and do whatever you want is important for your sanity. An equally good option is to have a spouse or friend take your kids away for a few hours so you can be alone in your own home.
Weekly outing with kids – Make a point to go out and do something with your kids each week. Not only will it be good for you to spend that time with them, but you’ll also be setting a good example of how to stretch one’s comfort zone for the greater good.

Worth the Effort to Change

Your personality can be a blessing or a burden when it comes to homeschooling. The good news is that the burden aspect is simple to fix. It may not always be easy, as you’ll be bending your own will to accommodate others, but your whole household will benefit when you take steps to balance your own needs with those of your family.

Take advantage of our 100% guarantee. No other homeschooling company can match our Love to Learn, Love to Teach™ promise. You can order with confidence that either you will have a great year, or you will get a full refund.

Tagged extroverts, family, Homeschooling, introverts, personality, socialization | Leave a comment

Sep. 26, 2018

The Children of India

By Sarita

India has over 400 million people who have never heard of Jesus. The lostness is staggering, yet God is at work in India! Children Bible Clubs are one missionary tool the Lord is using to bring children—and eventually adults—to Christ in this densely populated nation. Rejoice with me as you read the stories of three such children--Monika, Jiadev, and Shivani. And then find out how your family can amplify the transforming power of the gospel in India.

1. Monika’s Story

Monika is a happy child living with her parents and younger sister in south India. Her life wasn’t always joyful though.

Not long ago her father was consumed by alcohol addiction. He spent his money on his addiction, leaving Monika’s family hungry. Their home was emotionally traumatic, plagued with arguments and anger. It got so bad that Monika’s mother tried to end her own life.

Influenced by a neighbor, Monika and her sister joined a Children’s Bible Club in their neighborhood. It was God’s plan in action. You see, God planned to save the whole family, starting with the children.

At the Bible Club there were stories, games, singing, help with schoolwork, and Jesus. After learning about the power of prayer, Monika started asking Jesus to help heal her dad’s heart. Monika prayed with the Bible Club members, on her own, and eventually with her mother.

Monika, her mother, and sister started regularly attending church. When her dad found out, he was angry. He marched over to the church, barged through the doors and then simply froze in his tracks, standing in the doorway of the chapel. A miracle had happened. In an instant, his anger was gone, and he felt as though Jesus was hugging him.

At that moment, her dad’s heart was changed, and Jesus rescued Monika’s family. The drinking and violence stopped. Her family now lives in peace, praying and reading the Bible together. They credit their family’s salvation to Monika and her participation in the Children’s Bible Club.

2. Jaidev’s Story

Monika led her whole family to Jesus, but there are many children still on the journey. Jaidev is such an example.

Jaidev’s journey to finding Jesus didn’t start as a journey to be saved. It started because he was struggling with his school work. You see, after Jaidev’s father died of cancer, his mother and older siblings were forced to get jobs to support the family. No one was around to help him with homework, and he was falling behind.

His friend told him he could get free tutoring at the Children’s Bible Club, so Jaidev started attending.

Soon his grades turned around. Even better, Jaidev learned about Jesus! He began reading the Bible and praying regularly. He now attends worship groups and is still praying for the day his family joins him in faith in Christ.

3. Shivani’s Story

Shivani’s parents could not afford tutoring for their daughter as she struggled through her assignments and tests. They wanted desperately to provide their daughter with everything they did not have, starting with a good education. Over half of children who start school in India do not finish; family poverty forces them to give up their studies to earn money at a job instead.

When Shivani’s parents heard that their local Children’s Bible Club offered free tutoring, they immediately signed up their daughter. They knew she would get the academic help she needed there.

And she did! But even greater, Shivani experienced Jesus through the songs and stories at Bible Club.

Shivani was so moved by her Children’s Bible Club experience, not only does she want to be a teacher, but she has also influenced her parents to join her in praying every night.

Children’s Bible Clubs Influence Families

One of the most astounding things that come from the Children’s Bible Clubs is, perhaps, the power of influence the children have on their families. When the children encourage their parents to join them in prayer at home or to attend worship together, they are spreading the Good News of Jesus to the whole family. In this way, the Children’s Bible Clubs bringing Jesus to the communities of India one family at a time.

Make an Impact

Sonlight and Mission India hope to impact a few thousand of those 22 million children this year by funding Children Bible Clubs all over the country. Providing a place for kids to sing, dance, learn, grow, pray, and—most importantly—meet Jesus.

Sign up today to receive your FREE Adventure Pack, which includes everything your family will need to experience India—a virtual reality (VR) headset that will allow you to participate in and Experience India in 360°, a coin collector, and an introductory booklet.

Once a week during the month of October, a new video/VR experience is released for you and your family to follow through India. As you journey along, you’ll have the opportunity to collect loose change and bills in your coin collector. Every dollar you give will be used to send a little boy or girl in India to a Children’s Bible Club—a year of fun where they'll learn all about Jesus ... many for the first time!

Every $24 raised will enroll a boy or girl in a Children's Bible Club for an entire year!

The Children’s Bible Clubs are transforming India. What an exciting time to be a part of this movement.

Tagged charitable giving, children of the world, Christianity, giving, Giving Opportunity, india, Mission India, missions, worldview | Leave a comment

Sep. 26, 2018

4 Great Reasons to Read Your Favorite Book Again (& Again)

By Sarita

Did you know that I reread the Chronicles of Narnia, and especially my favorite, The Horse and His Boy, annually?

One of the marks of a good book is that it grows along with you. It bears repeated readings and opens up new insights and pleasures each time. But besides insights and pleasures, there are other reasons to reread books. Here are my top four.

1. Greater Understanding and Memory

American adults usually have a fairly good understanding of, say, Abraham Lincoln. Without knowing all the controversial aspects of his policies, most know that he was born in a log cabin, delivered the Gettysburg Address, issued the Emancipation Proclamation, and was assassinated shortly after the Civil War.

When children are just getting started learning, though, almost every one of those concepts is new.

What's a log cabin?
What was Gettysburg, and why did it need an address?
What does emancipation even mean? Or assassination?

For a child to cover the same—or similar!—material more than once makes good sense. Just like you probably find it easier to cook a recipe the second time through, and maybe think of some shortcuts, this is true for your children, too.

2. Better Brain Highways

Repeated exposure grows better highways in the brain. So if your preschooler wants you to read Go, Dog. Go! fifty times, then read it gladly. Young children enjoy the process of repeated readings, and you’re building brain highways that will serve them well for the rest of their lives.

If your young readers want to jump ahead with their Readers, let them go for it! And then repeat the Readers on schedule. Your children will be that much stronger a reader as a result of repeated exposure.

3. Subtler Appreciation

Was it C.S. Lewis who said that the first reading of a book was for plot, and the second reading for delight?

It’s true—the first time through, there’s an irresistible desire to know what happened. It’s only on repeated readings that you can enjoy the hints of foreshadowing that the author drops along the way, savor the carefully crafted descriptions, or notice all the tiny historical details woven into the story.

4. Friendliness of Familiarity

Rereading books provides the multi-layered pleasure of the act of present reading combined with the memories of all the readings before. If you are fortunate enough to read By the Great Horn Spoon! in Sonlight E for a second, third, or fourth time, you’ll find that you remember most of what happened, but the exact turn of phrase, or the details of the plot, are again new and fresh. And funny!

Which is all to say: if you find that your children are a bit bored, or if they want to read and reread, or if they tend to race through books and you’re always looking for more—pull out Adventures with Waffles, Red Sails to Capri, or The Sherwood Ring again and settle in for a delightful time.

Ready to start building your home library? Look at Sonlight's collections to discover great books you'll want to read over and over.

Tagged books, reading, rereading | Leave a comment

Sep. 24, 2018

Why It's Okay That I Do My Entire Curriculum & Tick All the Boxes

By Heather Mills Schwarzen

I’m going to share a secret with you. It’s not something I usually confess to strangers for fear of backlash, but I’ve recently been convicted that maybe I should be more open. Maybe, I suddenly realized, I need to be willing to prove that people like me are normal, too.

So here goes: I’m a Sonlighter and yes, I do it all.

I do the entire curriculum as designed, checking all the boxes and reading all the books.

Can I tell you how freeing it is to admit that? In most places where homeschoolers congregate—at co-ops, in Facebook groups, at library book sales—I play down the fact that I do the whole Sonlight program.

No, I don’t shelve science.
I don’t automatically ax half the Read-Alouds.
And I don’t set the Bible aside because a church program fills that need.

Barring incident (and yes, we’ve definitely had incidents!) we do a whole History / Bible / Literature program top to bottom—even if it takes extra time to get there.

Not Better, Just Different

I say all of this not to shame the homeschoolers who approach their Instructor's Guides like a buffet line, picking and choosing what fits their family, their season of life, and their needs. Instead, I say it to encourage moms who might not even take on homeschooling with Sonlight after hearing from so many others how overwhelming and book-heavy it is. I also say it to let other moms, like me, know that it’s okay to enjoy the process of homeschooling so very much that you dive headfirst into every resource available to you.

See, I think we’ve reached a point in the culture of homeschooling where it’s becoming a badge of honor to embrace such a minimalist approach to education that we cast suspicious eyes on mothers who don’t hold to the same ideas. We’re celebrating paring back, going bare bones, and simplifying so much that families like mine, who enjoy the rich banquet of a Sonlight education, are almost ashamed to admit that yes, at the end of the week, we’ve checked all the boxes.

I’m here to say that neither approach is right… or wrong.

Just like God created each individual family to reflect His glory with a specific calling to be fulfilled, our homeschools are hothouses for the background He wants to supply for our children. We’re all on a unique path. Why, then, is it not acceptable for one family to prune Readers, and another to strive to finish them all? Why is the admission that no, we didn’t take December off but instead stayed the course unwelcome in some circles?

Neither is better. They’re just different.

I’m Not Trying to be Supermom

Here’s another thing I want you to know: there’s absolutely nothing special about me that makes a full Sonlight package easier. Like you, I’m juggling multiple children, dirty dishes, and trying to get supper on the table at a reasonable hour. I’ve got a preschooler who interrupts math lessons, a husband who travels for a month at a time, and several children with learning disabilities. I have three in various out-of-home therapies, extracurricular sports for two, several in music lessons, and other obligations that mean packing everyone up and car-schooling several afternoons a week.

There’s nothing special about the way I feel on Monday mornings as I face a long week ahead, unless you count my relief at the fact that I have an open-and-go Instructor’s Guide holding my hand through it all.

I’m not exceptional in any way—trust me. I’m also not trying to outshine any one or to minimize the fact that homeschooling is hard work. I’m just doing what I feel called to do, and to do it to the best of my ability. I’m trusting that you’re doing the same, no matter what your day looks like. I’m not judging your wake up time, the number of math lessons your kids do in a week, or whether or not you count audiobooks as Read-Alouds. I have enough on my own plate without worrying about whether or not you feel handwriting is a valuable skill.

Sonlight and the Three Bears

A full Sonlight package happens to be a great fit for our family—our Goldilocks curriculum. Not too much, not too little, but just right. We tend to keep pace with the Instructor’s Guide, and don’t struggle to complete the scheduled work. We school year around. We average one program per year.

For some folks, it’s too much. They need to cut back. And, I’ve never met these folks, but I bet someone out there adds tons extra, feeling like they want even more.

And we’re all normal. We’re all doing it the right way. Be proud of who you are as a homeschooler!

Whether you do it all or homeschool buffet-style, Sonlight can work for you. Go to SmoothCourse to explore your options.

Tagged big box curriculum, boxed curriculum, curriculum, Homeschooling, Instructor's Guide, schedules, Sonlight | 6 Comments

Sep. 21, 2018

Why Should Kids Care About Giving to International Missions?

By Gina Munsey

I was a missionary kid, born deep in the heart of southern Mexico and then lived in the former Yugoslavia. The idea of giving to missions isn’t merely conceptual to me; it played out in my life in a very real way.

How real?

Tithes often paid for our brown bread, eggs, carrots, tangy yogurt, and meat of occasionally-questionable origin. Missions contributions bought translated Bibles, many destined for a God’s Smuggler-esque journey behind the Iron Curtain. As Paul and Timothy wrote in the first chapter of Philippians, “For even in Thessalonica you sent aid once and again for my necessities.”

1. Giving to Missions Reminds Us People Are Created in the Image of God

We sometimes forget the money from missions giving goes to living, breathing people, don’t we? In the Western church, we’re so conditioned to think of missions in terms of projects and outreaches, we don’t always remember the beating pulse of tangible humanity—or the living expenses—underneath it all.

But kids don’t think in terms of programs. While adults wrangle with logistics and numbers and people groups, children always see people. Understanding that both the reached and the reacher alike are people created in the image of God guards us against the skewed perspective that we—rather than Christ—are the Savior.

2. Giving to Missions Enables Us to Obey the Biblical Command to Tithe

There’s no question tithing is a Biblical idea; a plethora of passages address the concept of giving a portion of one’s income. While the Old Testament is clear on giving ten percent, the early Christians placed a placed a special emphasis on plentiful, generous, cheerful giving. Throughout the New Testament, we can see that the early Christians considered giving to originate with the church and proceed outward; meeting the needs of whoever had lack, both within the community as well as beyond its borders:

“...a severe famine would spread over the entire Roman world. Then the disciples, each according to his ability, determined to send relief to the brethren dwelling in Judea. This they did, sending their gift…” (Acts 11:27-30)

3. Giving to Missions Generates Gratitude

Talking to kids about giving as a means to meet others’ needs necessitates a conversation about lack. Most of us find it uncomfortable to have conversations with our kids about money, especially when it comes to discussing classifications like poor and the wealthy. But a frank discussion about

food availability,
clean water access,
sanitation options, and
shelter conditions

prompts gratitude in even the most modest of settings.

And that’s just touching on food, water, and shelter. Have your kids ever whined about picking up toys? When irritated by a mess of craft supplies or strewn toys, it’s easy for me to lose perspective and forget what a tremendously first-world problem of excess such clutter is.

As parents, we can use a gentle nudge toward gratitude from time to time, too. (Have you compared your income against a global scale? An annual net salary of $12,000 USD ranks in the top 15% of wealthiest people, worldwide.)

4. Giving to Missions Shifts Our Perspective

Especially for Christian kids raised in the church, it's easy to slip into the misconception that Sunday School is a normal way of life for everyone. But Vacation Bible School and Wednesday evening services are not universal experiences of childhood by any means—worldwide, or even within America. If you and your kids have access to freely attend church programs, that’s actually a massive privilege and luxury. Kind of amazing to think about, isn’t it? It’s definitely an important point to discuss with our children.

For many children in India, Sunday School is certainly not a reality. Even simple Bible songs are wholly unfamiliar. Prior to the launch of Sonlight’s 2018 Giving Campaign: Experience India, I was not familiar with Mission India or with their focus on year-long Bible clubs. But throughout the coming weeks—alongside my fellow Sonlighters—I’ll be collecting coins and learning about India through the free virtual reality Adventure Pack.

5. Giving to Missions Allows Us to Play a Part in the Great Commission

Won’t you sign up to Experience India too? During this fall campaign, Sonlight will match every donation up to $100,000.

And I know many of you have the same question I did: Just how much of the money my kids and I collect will actually go toward these Bible clubs? Mission India explains, “For each dollar received, Mission India spends 80 cents on our ministry work, 8 cents on ministry management, and 12 cents on development.” Good to know, right?

As we step into the Great Commission together, let’s pray for God to open our hearts and our eyes to what He wants to do in our own lives through this encounter. And let’s pray for the kids who will be hearing about Jesus—most for the very first time—through Mission India’s Children’s Bible Clubs.

Sonlight has teamed up with Mission India to bring you Experience India—a FREE, four-week, virtual reality (VR) adventure online—focused on how Jesus’ final command, the Great Commission, is being lived out in India.

We hope Experience India will develop in your kids a heart for the unreached by providing a fun and easy way to participate in the Great Commission.

We’ve set a goal of raising $100,000 for Year-Long Children’s Bible Clubs through the Experience India adventure—enough to enroll nearly 4,200 kids in India in Bible Clubs.

But, there’s more....Sonlight will match, dollar-for-dollar, all the money that's raised through Experience India—up to $100,000!

That means nearly 8,400 kids can learn about Jesus in Year-Long Children’s Bible Clubs this year! Will you join us in helping reach thousands of children with the Gospel?

SIGN UP HERE

NOTE: Experience India is an educational fundraiser, but there is no cost or obligation to participate.

Tagged charitable giving, giving, Mission India, missions, Sonlight | Leave a comment

Sep. 19, 2018

4 Tips for Parenting Shy or Anxious Children

By Deana Wood

My kids come by their shyness honestly. I was so painfully shy when I was growing up that my classmates would ask my parents if I could speak. They weren’t sure because they had never heard me talk! Thankfully, after years of hiding behind my mom’s skirt, I grew out of my shyness. After all, it gets harder and harder to hide behind mom’s skirt!

A couple of my own children follow in my bashful footsteps. So I’ve learned a few tricks over the years for how to work through shyness in children. Although anxiety and shyness are not the same thing, some of these tips may work with anxious kids, too.

1. Homeschooling Helps Shy or Anxious Kids

When my oldest child went to a preschool program and kindergarten at our local public school, he withered instead of blossoming. Isaac's anxiety levels grew, and he became more and more shy. We were concerned when we started to homeschool that he would get worse from the isolation.

After all, what about socialization?

But, to our great surprise, homeschooling actually gave him the confidence he needed to come out of his shell. He made friends more easily at church, and his anxiety levels took a nosedive. He was suddenly so laid back and relaxed!

Homeschooling actually did the opposite of what we feared—exacerbating his shyness, and I am so thankful! I truly believe that homeschooling helps shy children build the confidence they need before heading out into the world.

2. Model & Practice Social Situations

Model and practice. Model and practice. Sometimes it seems that my days are much less about teaching and much more modeling and practicing.

In the case of shyness or social anxiety, we have found role playing or practicing a very effective tool. Since our children were old enough to speak, we’ve had them practice meeting people. They would stand up straight, look the person in the eye, hold out their hand, and say something like, “My name is Hannah. It’s so nice to meet you.”

Now, keep in mind that they were practicing with me. Of course, on occasion we were lucky enough to get a grandparent to help us practice! But practicing with a familiar person helps them to develop somewhat of a predictable script for what they need to do in certain situations. This gives them confidence because they know exactly what to do and say in “x” situation.

You can use the model and practice trick to work on all kinds of situations when shyness can cause misunderstandings or awkwardness:

meeting people
asking and answering questions
ordering food at a restaurant
asking to use the restroom
asking for directions

Model and practice is also a great tool to use when working on uncomfortable or even dangerous situations. In addition to pleasantries, we’ve also coached our children on what to do if they feel uncomfortable in a situation, and every so often, we’ll have a practice session. I think this is especially important for shy children who struggle to speak for themselves.

3. Remember That Shyness is a Super Power!

We generally don’t recognize character traits as super powers in our children. After all, they are young and haven’t quite figured out how to channel that trait in a completely positive direction. However, the fact is that shy kids are likely to be introverts, and introverts have proven to be some of the world’s greatest thinkers and dreamers.

Introverts are also known for their humility, servant-hood, and their deep compassion for others. While some kids are bouncing off the walls (and don’t get me wrong here...that’s a super power too!), shy kids are sitting back, taking it all in. They are making mental notes about how not to behave, how Susan is feeling after the fall she took earlier, and how he or she can best stay out of the spotlight.

So instead of worrying, always keep in mind that shyness is simply an element of a blossoming personality, and it’s our job as parents and teachers to help them develop those super power traits to the fullest.

4. Provide a Safe Place for Your Shy Child to Talk

The downside to being shy is that you tend to bottle up a lot of emotion. This is definitely a negative way to handle big feelings. Consider doing what my mom did for me by providing a safe place to talk. I don’t think it was intentional to begin with, but the front seat of our old tan Crown Victoria became what we lovingly referred to as The Confessional Seat. For some reason, it seemed I was comfortable to pour out my heart when I sat in that seat. I think it was probably because I was alone with my mom, without interruptions, and didn't have to make eye contact.

These days, as a mom of four stair-step children, I understand that front seat conversations are not always the most private or peaceful. No worries! I have heard plenty of alternatives.

One mom invites her children in one-by-one for a tea time to talk and visit. For some families, the bedtime ritual provides a perfect framework for some great heart-to-hearts. I personally also always enjoyed talking to my mom in the kitchen while she cooked dinner. There are many variations on this idea.

Of course, a safe place not only refers to the actual location, but also the person on the receiving end. When giving a shy child the opportunity to talk freely, it should be just that—free. Allow them to explore their feelings, fairly uninterrupted. Most of the time, they don’t really need advice, just a trusted, listening ear.

I know my parents worried about me as a child, wondering if I would ever come out of my shell, but I did! And today, I’m so thankful for their patient guidance in my early years. Oh, and if you’re wondering, I started speaking to my peers in probably about the fifth grade, and by high school, they probably felt that they couldn’t keep me quiet!

And my oldest son, Isaac, who I mentioned earlier? Well, he is currently on a two week mission trip across the country. The only person he knew on the trip was my mother-in-law. I’m happy to report that he is having the time of his life! So hang in there, moms and dads, there is hope for the shy kids! They just have to hone their super power.

Provide your children a safe learning environment at home where they can hone their unique giftings and blossom at their own pace. Go to SmoothCourse to explore your options.

Tagged anxiety, anxious kids, life skills, shy, social skills, socialization, special needs | Leave a comment