Milestones . . .

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WedPhotoFour years ago today, our oldest daughter married the love of her life. In the next week (or so), their first child/our first grandchild will enter the world. If all goes well (praying that it might be so), our family will begin a new leg of our life journey.

Two years ago today, a good friend, also a wife and mother, went home to be with Jesus. She invested 25 years in her marriage, and countless hours in raising, loving and homeschooling her children, before she lost her brave battle with cancer. Thus began a new leg of their life journey.

We are in the midst of "busy season" here at Sonlight. Each day our Advisors talk with hundreds of parents who are about to enter the "homeschool" leg of their life journey. As I am privileged to chat with some of them, my mind often wanders to my daughter, and my friend. I love to share the excitement of those who are just beginning their homeschool experience, and hopefully encourage those who are in the midst of the long haul.

As I help folks wade through the curriculum options available to them, a recent blog post over on Coffee + Crumbs seems very applicable. While the author is writing to a "soon to be" mom, I think it could easily be adapted for a "soon to be" homeschool parent. All of those parts of your life that are impacted by the arrival of a new baby are also impacted by the beginning of your home education journey.

"Your whole life will be different. Every single day you will wake up with the responsibility of educating your child. It will affect every decision you make, every thought you have, every fiber of your very existence. You will slowly learn to let go of control and expectations, a process you will practice every day for the rest of your life as a parent. You will start to see the world as a teacher—you will see love and God and humanity through new eyes that will change you and mold you and make you more aware of how small you are and how big God is."

So relish the milestones in your journey, no matter where on the path you are, for they will never come again. And even when the journey is at its most frustrating, stop and thank God for even the difficult moments ... and ask for His assistance in moving on down the path.

Still on the journey ...
~Judy Wnuk

PS ... Sometimes the homeschool journey is greatly benefited by sharing it with other travel companions. Be sure to stop over at the free Sonlight Forums and enjoy the companionship of other travelers in our Homeschool Support Forum!

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Be Part of a Larger Community

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Every few days or so someone will ask a question about Sonlight publicly on Facebook. Inevitably, I have to tell them that the only response they're likely to see is the one I provide. If they want more people to weigh in, it's much better to go ask on the Sonlight® Forums.

Facebook says it offers us a chance to connect with friends and share stuff. What this means for me is that I see a few new photos and a whole bunch of Upbuzzworthyfeed content and the same six videos about shampoo and violins or that guy who gave a dog his sandwich. Occasionally stuff from the distant past appears -- last week someone shared the "laughing Quadruplet" video from more than half a decade ago. I'm not overly bitter, but how many posts, counter-posts, and open letters "to the person who posted about the post commenting on the post about a comedian's suicide" do I really need to read?

None.

There are far more pressing matters on my time and bigger issues in the world. Though that depression thing seems to really resonate with people. I've got a few "kids" who struggle with depression and it's not an easy topic. That's definitely something worth connecting with others to discuss.

Perhaps the part that I dislike the most about social media "interactions" like this is that they've become a new brand of push marketing. Click-bait and cute puppies beg me to "act now" and suggest, "But wait! There's more!" I guess I've been around YouTube enough to know what to expect when a popular video features a singing kid. Sorry, internets, but I actually do believe what's about to happen next.

In short: Social media often fantastically fails at connecting me with my friends.

To build relationships and community, to link up with people and talk about what's going on in your life, you need something more than a never-ceasing stream of the latest social experiment. With internet tools like forums, you can get to know people, have long and deep discussions, and banter back and forth about life and kids and homeschooling and dishes and laundry. You can connect with people around the world and maintain an ongoing conversation. And if you have questions, you can get answers from people with more experience as a homeschool mom than me. Because I have, like, none. Literally, none.

Have you heard the news? The Sonlight Forums are now free. You just go, sign up, and start connecting with other homeschool moms.

Do it.

 ~Luke Holzmann
Filmmaker, Writer, Pseudo-Dad

P.S. In many ways, I feel this post is a continuation of thought from my recent Don't Isolate Yourself.

P.P.S. If you've been missing some of our recent fantastic posts, consider signing up to get the Sonlight Blog in your inbox by subscribing on the right (just scroll down a bit). You can also add this blog -- and many others -- to an RSS reader. I'm currently using Inoreader.

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You. Your Pictures. Today.

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Today is the deadline for you to submit pictures to the Sonlight Photo Contest. Why send in a photo? Aside from the obvious fun and fame of seeing your family in the Sonlight catalog, you could win up to $500 toward your next Sonlight purchase.

How hard is it to submit a picture?

The process is just a tad more involved than uploading something to Facebook or Instagram or Pinterest or ... whatever. You do that all the time, right? When you upload a photo to Sonlight we ask that you also tell us a bit about the picture and your experience with Sonlight. Just do it now before time runs out.

I take amazing pictures of my adorable kids. How many can I submit?

There is no artificial limit to the number of photos you can submit. However, I think time and technology may hinder you from uploading more than 7,000 by midnight. I hope that will suffice for the time being. You can always submit more for next year, because you are right: Your kids are amazing!

My student is now an awesome high schooler. Do you only want pictures of youngsters?

Nope. Homeschool high schoolers are a great bunch of super-cool people. We'd naturally love to represent them in the catalog too!

My child is atypical. Should I even bother uploading a picture?

Absolutely! Sarita recently blogged about how cool it is that so many Sonlighters have adopted children. As you know, Sonlight's approach is great for both struggling and accelerated students; we'd love to share your story. We are also very aware that Sonlighters hail from all around the world, and we love that because it fits right in with our international focus. And I don't really know any "typical" kids. I certainly wasn't one ...

Luke-Cool-Dude
... maybe that makes me normal

Have any tips to help me win?

Just one: Take an amazing picture and submit it with an amazing story. You can do that because you're a homeschooler. There's more information and tips and stuff on the photo contest page, but it all boils down to sharing your experience homeschooling with Sonlight.

Enter the Sonlight Photo Contest Now

 ~Luke Holzmann
Filmmaker, Writer, Pseudo-Dad

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Don't Isolate Yourself

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I watch the breeze sway through the tips of wild grass a few feet from the picnic table. The weather outside is gorgeous today. The tranquility of my lunch cracks against the turmoil in my head. Sudan continues to be torn apart by war. Ukraine and Russia are doing their thing. And the ISIS situation is the hip social engagement point of the week. That conflict has definitely been eating at my wife; she changed her profile picture as a symbol of solidarity.

Arabic-Letter-Nun
"N" (nun) for Nazarene

Solidarity is an interesting thing. It's easy for us to want to be part of something; it's good even! But then we can decide it is better to isolate ourselves from the those not in our group. In so doing, the pernicious "other" terminology starts to seep in, quickly souring to outright dehumanization of our enemies as John Umland unpacks on his blog.

Seth Godin, in a similar vein, recommends that as we find our "tribes" we simply say that "people like us are part of a thing like this" and leave it at that. This definitely applies to us homeschoolers. Rather than jumping on some kind of anti-public school bandwagon, we are part of the educational world and we do it like this. And it's awesome. It works for us. We love it -- most days -- but we're not here for anything other than mutual encouragement.

We're certainly not here to isolate ourselves. Rather, we are equipping our children to go out into the world. We're preparing them to soar. We are pouring into them now so they can go out filled and ready to bless others. As much as we may want keep our children with us, our aim is higher. We look forward, with some joyful pain, to the day we get to see them doing what God has called them to do ... apart from us. Hopefully they call or write every now and again.

But where is God calling them? What does it look like for them to walk the path God has placed before them? I think recent events bring such questions back to the forefront of our minds. One of my favorite films in The Mission. It's a movie that opens with a missionary tied to a wooden cross and sent over a waterfall to his death. The story grows in intensity and brutality from there. But it has a beautiful score, redemption scene, and an ending that begs us to consider: Has God called us to fight injustice or simply stand with the oppressed?

I, for one, am glad it does not give any easy answers. For easy answers there are none.

But the words of Jon Foreman's Your Love is Strong echo in my turbulent mind:

Two things You told me
That You are strong
And You love me
Yes, You love me

I know it's easy for me to even isolate myself from God, to run away, to try to do it on my own. But, as Rebecca LuElla Miller reminds us, we ought to be helping our kids realize: no matter what our outward circumstances, we are in need of a Savior. This need is true of us no less than they.

The turmoil in the Middle East is nothing new. Ken Chapman shared a fascinating summary of the history surrounding the Crusades. It's a great read, reminding us that people are people, not monsters. It also reminds us that wars, however important or of good intent, do cause tremendous harm (I found the part about the rift between Roman Catholics and Greek Orthodox to be horrifying and absurdly ironic). And I appreciate the reminder that

both the medieval and the modern soldier fight ultimately for their own world and all that makes it up. Both are willing to suffer enormous sacrifice, provided that it is in the service of something they hold dear...

Please continue to pray for our brothers and sisters in Sudan, Ukraine, Iraq, and many other places in the world that are not currently sensationalist enough to show up on the news. And pray for those who have yet to recognize their desperate need of Christ.

And praise God for beautiful days that remind us of His new mercies for whatever we are going through and His strong love for us.

 ~Luke Holzmann
Filmmaker, Writer, Pseudo-Dad

P.S. The article about the Crusades reminded me of Sonlight's What Good is Christianity? course. It is important to consider history in light of many common complaints against the religion "of the West."

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My First Day of School Memories

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I don't have any memories from my first day of school. No new pencils or decorative notebooks. I also don't have any "first day of school" pictures. If we had any kind of festivities at the start of a school year, they are wiped from my mind.

I'm not the least bit sad about this vacancy in my history.

Someone near and dear to my heart has photographic evidence that this kind of thing can be very unwelcome. My mother-in-law is great about making scrapbooks and taking pictures of important events. Here's her daughter on her first day of homeschool:

Brittany-1st-Day-of-School
I knew my freedom was gone ...forever ~my wife

Ah, the sweet joy of a fresh start!

Or not.

So I found myself rather bemused by Laura's concerns that her children would miss out on

  • first day of school clothes and pictures
  • lunchboxes
  • the school bus
  • bulletin boards
  • and shopping for school supplies

For me, that list includes all the worst things about school (apart from homework and bullies). Do you remember enjoying riding the hot, noisy, smelly bus? I don't. And bulletin boards ... really? I remember one bulletin from high school: signage for a "cooper" drive, asking us with its typo to bring in pennies for something.

So I have to wonder: Are you inflicting these horrors upon your offspring simply to perpetuate the cycle?

You actually enjoy this, you say?

...

You just keep doing your thing.

Joking aside, there is absolutely nothing wrong with celebrating the start of a new year or having traditions that make this next chapter fun and special (I just have to wonder how "fun" and "special" it is for your children because of my own austere experience ... and the tears I shed every time we had to take a family photo). Go all out. Celebrate. I really like Laura's post.

For me, the logical and best time to go Crazy Go Nuts is Box Day. Of course, my own experience with Box Day was less than stellar, so what do I know? Given how many children tend to start reading their new books immediately, I think it's fair to say that Box Day is often the first day of school.

I prefer to celebrate accomplishments rather than beginnings, but that's due to the personal deficiency I have in my dislike for process; just get me to the destination already! I also tend to see homeschooling as simply a natural continuation of learning already occurring at home. And instead of dressing up, I prefer comfy pants. If you're not like me, that's great! Have fun with the start of your journey!

As a new school year is upon us, take a moment to review 8 tips for a new school year.

How do you do your first day of school? Party and pictures? Pancakes? Just start reading as usual?

 ~Luke Holzmann
Filmmaker, Writer, Pseudo-Dad

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Teaching Kids how to say no

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I homeschooled my four children for many reasons. I started because the public schools in our area were unacceptable and we couldn't afford private school. I continued because we all loved it.

While homeschooling, we grew closer as a family, we got more sleep, each child received a personalized education, and we all just learned so much. My husband and I also cherished the chance to be major influences in our children's lives. We talked about everything under the sun.

But I read an article recently that made me wonder: Even if we as homeschoolers enjoy deep conversations with our children, could we still miss a certain specific conversation we need to have? It's a conversation about how to say no. That way, when kids are in a tough situation, they don't have to think on their feet.

A Sonlight family learning together
Sonlight student Brandon S poses with a role model who knew how to stand his ground in the face of hard choices.

I encourage you to read the article and see if anything applies to you. Can you and your children brainstorm specific ways to refuse a dangerous bike stunt or turn down alcohol? Perhaps something like "my mom can smell like a bloodhound and I don't want to take the risk." I've heard the advice that if your teen finds herself in a sexual situation and she wants things to stop, she can simply say that she needs to go to the bathroom. When she comes out of the bathroom, she can say she remembered she needs to go home.

Of course, it'd be nice if our kids were articulate and poised enough to not need scripted responses. But I'd rather give them backup tools – like a scripted response – that help them simply get out of a bad situation first. Then they can process with you and come up with strategies to avoid such situations in the future.

I also think that being able to say no starts young. Do you ever let your children say no? Do they grow up knowing they have boundaries that you and others will respect?

This is a difficult balance of teaching kids to obey and respecting their choices. If your child wants to play video games instead of doing his chores, he still has to do his chores. But if you are roughhousing with a child and he asks you to stop ... do you? Or if you're tickling and a giggled "stop it!" comes out, do you stop? If you stop tickling and your daughter actually wants you to keep going, she'll let you know. But in the meantime you're teaching her an important lesson: she has a voice in what happens to her body.

Another way we might ignore children's wishes about their bodies is in greeting friends and relatives. If my children ever felt uncomfortable giving someone a hug, I chose to respect that. You can teach children other respectful ways to greet people and say goodbye – perhaps a wave or a high five. If we don't respect their "no" about their own bodies when they are young, how can we expect them to feel confident enough to have a voice and say no when they are older and the stakes are higher?

So here is the food for thought: if we want our kids to stand their ground when it comes to safety, drugs, alcohol, and sexual choices, let's help them learn to stand their ground when they are younger. Let's give them tools and respect their right to say "no." (Remembering that saying no to vegetables is different than saying no to hugging their uncle.)

And above all, pray for your children. Ask God to protect them and help them make wise choices. With God's help, may your children grow up ready to do whatever He calls them to!

Blessings,
Sarita

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Plumbers and Teaching Multiple Views

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The plumbing in my house is old. I've spent a small fortune ensuring waste escapes my property. Otherwise it becomes trapped 14 feet underground, refusing to release the rest which greedily claims my laundry room. Of the many plumbers answering my call, not one has looked around and failed to mention the completely not-up-to-code and utterly bizarre piping we live amidst on a daily basis.

"Never seen that before," are words you don't want to hear from these guys, or so my wife tells me. I wouldn't know different.

Plumbing-Pipes
Pesky Plumbing

With so much practice paying experts to come to my house, I very much resonate with Fred Sander's experiences with repairmen. His post is funny and insightful... not just about home improvement, but also teaching theology. Please go read it now.

Done?

[Oh, you skipped it. Fine. Quick version: Saying that the person who does not believe what you believe is an idiot -- a practice adopted by many in both religion and contract work -- undermines our faith in the "industry." Better to sympathetically explain what the others are trying to do and talk through the subject matter at hand. Read the complete post here.]

I love this.

Fred's post demonstrates two interrelated reasons it is so important to learn multiple views: Humility and clarity.

When we discover that those with whom we disagree are not evil or ignorant or willfully-blind, we can speak with sympathy and grace. This happened recently in a Skype conversation with one of "my kids" who is at school out of state. She had jumped on the bandwagon of a recent hot political issue and was rather fired up about it. We had gone back and forth a bit on Facebook, and now it was time to hash it all out in real time. So we talked.

After an hour or so she asked, "Wait, did we just both present our ideas, come to some conclusions, and accept that both sides made good points? Did that just happen?"

"Of course," I said. "Both sides have very legitimate concerns. I just happen to think these issues are more on point and I would address the problems in the ways we discussed."

Humility allows us to accept reality. Defiantly stamping our feet and insisting the other side is flat-out wrong entirely tends to push people away. And should those who agree with us one day find some good points across the fence, they will be faced with an artificial choice you created: Do they maintain their beliefs they no longer believe are completely true, or do they reject the information they just learned?

The nuances we gain by learning what both sides believe and why afford us a deeper understanding. This is good for others, not just us. Equipped with a clearer picture, we can discuss and defend our position. We can invite someone to see things our way as we see it from their perspective. We can dig down to the root issues 14 feet underground, rather than muck about in the muck filling the laundry room.

With Sonlight, odds are you're teaching your kids multiple views. You're equipping them to speak true and love. You're doing things right.

Keep it up.

 ~Luke Holzmann
Filmmaker, Writer, Pseudo-Dad

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