Sonlight Homeschooling Blog

Aug. 11, 2014

Don't Isolate Yourself

By Luke

I watch the breeze sway through the tips of wild grass a few feet from the picnic table. The weather outside is gorgeous today. The tranquility of my lunch cracks against the turmoil in my head. Sudan continues to be torn apart by war. Ukraine and Russia are doing their thing. And the ISIS situation is the hip social engagement point of the week. That conflict has definitely been eating at my wife; she changed her profile picture as a symbol of solidarity.

"N" (nun) for Nazarene

Solidarity is an interesting thing. It's easy for us to want to be part of something; it's good even! But then we can decide it is better to isolate ourselves from the those not in our group. In so doing, the pernicious "other" terminology starts to seep in, quickly souring to outright dehumanization of our enemies as John Umland unpacks on his blog.

Seth Godin, in a similar vein, recommends that as we find our "tribes" we simply say that "people like us are part of a thing like this" and leave it at that. This definitely applies to us homeschoolers. Rather than jumping on some kind of anti-public school bandwagon, we are part of the educational world and we do it like this. And it's awesome. It works for us. We love it -- most days -- but we're not here for anything other than mutual encouragement.

We're certainly not here to isolate ourselves. Rather, we are equipping our children to go out into the world. We're preparing them to soar. We are pouring into them now so they can go out filled and ready to bless others. As much as we may want keep our children with us, our aim is higher. We look forward, with some joyful pain, to the day we get to see them doing what God has called them to do ... apart from us. Hopefully they call or write every now and again.

But where is God calling them? What does it look like for them to walk the path God has placed before them? I think recent events bring such questions back to the forefront of our minds. One of my favorite films in The Mission. It's a movie that opens with a missionary tied to a wooden cross and sent over a waterfall to his death. The story grows in intensity and brutality from there. But it has a beautiful score, redemption scene, and an ending that begs us to consider: Has God called us to fight injustice or simply stand with the oppressed?

I, for one, am glad it does not give any easy answers. For easy answers there are none.

But the words of Jon Foreman's Your Love is Strong echo in my turbulent mind:

Two things You told me
That You are strong
And You love me
Yes, You love me

I know it's easy for me to even isolate myself from God, to run away, to try to do it on my own. But, as Rebecca LuElla Miller reminds us, we ought to be helping our kids realize: no matter what our outward circumstances, we are in need of a Savior. This need is true of us no less than they.

The turmoil in the Middle East is nothing new. Ken Chapman shared a fascinating summary of the history surrounding the Crusades. It's a great read, reminding us that people are people, not monsters. It also reminds us that wars, however important or of good intent, do cause tremendous harm (I found the part about the rift between Roman Catholics and Greek Orthodox to be horrifying and absurdly ironic). And I appreciate the reminder that

both the medieval and the modern soldier fight ultimately for their own world and all that makes it up. Both are willing to suffer enormous sacrifice, provided that it is in the service of something they hold dear...

Please continue to pray for our brothers and sisters in Sudan, Ukraine, Iraq, and many other places in the world that are not currently sensationalist enough to show up on the news. And pray for those who have yet to recognize their desperate need of Christ.

And praise God for beautiful days that remind us of His new mercies for whatever we are going through and His strong love for us.

~Luke Holzmann
Filmmaker, Writer, Pseudo-Dad

P.S. The article about the Crusades reminded me of Sonlight's What Good is Christianity? course. It is important to consider history in light of many common complaints against the religion "of the West."

Tagged Christianity, current events, history | 6 Comments

Aug. 8, 2014

My First Day of School Memories

By Luke

I don't have any memories from my first day of school. No new pencils or decorative notebooks. I also don't have any "first day of school" pictures. If we had any kind of festivities at the start of a school year, they are wiped from my mind.

I'm not the least bit sad about this vacancy in my history.

Someone near and dear to my heart has photographic evidence that this kind of thing can be very unwelcome. My mother-in-law is great about making scrapbooks and taking pictures of important events. Here's her daughter on her first day of homeschool:

I knew my freedom was gone ...forever ~my wife

Ah, the sweet joy of a fresh start!

Or not.

So I found myself rather bemused by Laura's concerns that her children would miss out on

first day of school clothes and pictures
lunchboxes
the school bus
bulletin boards
and shopping for school supplies

For me, that list includes all the worst things about school (apart from homework and bullies). Do you remember enjoying riding the hot, noisy, smelly bus? I don't. And bulletin boards ... really? I remember one bulletin from high school: signage for a "cooper" drive, asking us with its typo to bring in pennies for something.

So I have to wonder: Are you inflicting these horrors upon your offspring simply to perpetuate the cycle?

You actually enjoy this, you say?

...

You just keep doing your thing.

Joking aside, there is absolutely nothing wrong with celebrating the start of a new year or having traditions that make this next chapter fun and special (I just have to wonder how "fun" and "special" it is for your children because of my own austere experience ... and the tears I shed every time we had to take a family photo). Go all out. Celebrate. I really like Laura's post.

For me, the logical and best time to go Crazy Go Nuts is Box Day. Of course, my own experience with Box Day was less than stellar, so what do I know? Given how many children tend to start reading their new books immediately, I think it's fair to say that Box Day is often the first day of school.

I prefer to celebrate accomplishments rather than beginnings, but that's due to the personal deficiency I have in my dislike for process; just get me to the destination already! I also tend to see homeschooling as simply a natural continuation of learning already occurring at home. And instead of dressing up, I prefer comfy pants. If you're not like me, that's great! Have fun with the start of your journey!

As a new school year is upon us, take a moment to review 8 tips for a new school year.

How do you do your first day of school? Party and pictures? Pancakes? Just start reading as usual?

~Luke Holzmann
Filmmaker, Writer, Pseudo-Dad

Tagged celebrations, school | 2 Comments

Aug. 7, 2014

Teaching Kids how to say no

By Sarita

I homeschooled my four children for many reasons. I started because the public schools in our area were unacceptable and we couldn't afford private school. I continued because we all loved it.

While homeschooling, we grew closer as a family, we got more sleep, each child received a personalized education, and we all just learned so much. My husband and I also cherished the chance to be major influences in our children's lives. We talked about everything under the sun.

But I read an article recently that made me wonder: Even if we as homeschoolers enjoy deep conversations with our children, could we still miss a certain specific conversation we need to have? It's a conversation about how to say no. That way, when kids are in a tough situation, they don't have to think on their feet.

A Sonlight family learning together
Sonlight student Brandon S poses with a role model who knew how to stand his ground in the face of hard choices.

I encourage you to read the article and see if anything applies to you. Can you and your children brainstorm specific ways to refuse a dangerous bike stunt or turn down alcohol? Perhaps something like "my mom can smell like a bloodhound and I don't want to take the risk." I've heard the advice that if your teen finds herself in a sexual situation and she wants things to stop, she can simply say that she needs to go to the bathroom. When she comes out of the bathroom, she can say she remembered she needs to go home.

Of course, it'd be nice if our kids were articulate and poised enough to not need scripted responses. But I'd rather give them backup tools – like a scripted response – that help them simply get out of a bad situation first. Then they can process with you and come up with strategies to avoid such situations in the future.

I also think that being able to say no starts young. Do you ever let your children say no? Do they grow up knowing they have boundaries that you and others will respect?

This is a difficult balance of teaching kids to obey and respecting their choices. If your child wants to play video games instead of doing his chores, he still has to do his chores. But if you are roughhousing with a child and he asks you to stop ... do you? Or if you're tickling and a giggled "stop it!" comes out, do you stop? If you stop tickling and your daughter actually wants you to keep going, she'll let you know. But in the meantime you're teaching her an important lesson: she has a voice in what happens to her body.

Another way we might ignore children's wishes about their bodies is in greeting friends and relatives. If my children ever felt uncomfortable giving someone a hug, I chose to respect that. You can teach children other respectful ways to greet people and say goodbye – perhaps a wave or a high five. If we don't respect their "no" about their own bodies when they are young, how can we expect them to feel confident enough to have a voice and say no when they are older and the stakes are higher?

So here is the food for thought: if we want our kids to stand their ground when it comes to safety, drugs, alcohol, and sexual choices, let's help them learn to stand their ground when they are younger. Let's give them tools and respect their right to say "no." (Remembering that saying no to vegetables is different than saying no to hugging their uncle.)

And above all, pray for your children. Ask God to protect them and help them make wise choices. With God's help, may your children grow up ready to do whatever He calls them to!

Blessings,
Sarita

Tagged boundaries, conversation | Leave a comment

Aug. 6, 2014

Plumbers and Teaching Multiple Views

By Luke

The plumbing in my house is old. I've spent a small fortune ensuring waste escapes my property. Otherwise it becomes trapped 14 feet underground, refusing to release the rest which greedily claims my laundry room. Of the many plumbers answering my call, not one has looked around and failed to mention the completely not-up-to-code and utterly bizarre piping we live amidst on a daily basis.

"Never seen that before," are words you don't want to hear from these guys, or so my wife tells me. I wouldn't know different.

Pesky Plumbing

With so much practice paying experts to come to my house, I very much resonate with Fred Sander's experiences with repairmen. His post is funny and insightful... not just about home improvement, but also teaching theology. Please go read it now.

Done?

[Oh, you skipped it. Fine. Quick version: Saying that the person who does not believe what you believe is an idiot -- a practice adopted by many in both religion and contract work -- undermines our faith in the "industry." Better to sympathetically explain what the others are trying to do and talk through the subject matter at hand. Read the complete post here.]

I love this.

Fred's post demonstrates two interrelated reasons it is so important to learn multiple views: Humility and clarity.

When we discover that those with whom we disagree are not evil or ignorant or willfully-blind, we can speak with sympathy and grace. This happened recently in a Skype conversation with one of "my kids" who is at school out of state. She had jumped on the bandwagon of a recent hot political issue and was rather fired up about it. We had gone back and forth a bit on Facebook, and now it was time to hash it all out in real time. So we talked.

After an hour or so she asked, "Wait, did we just both present our ideas, come to some conclusions, and accept that both sides made good points? Did that just happen?"

"Of course," I said. "Both sides have very legitimate concerns. I just happen to think these issues are more on point and I would address the problems in the ways we discussed."

Humility allows us to accept reality. Defiantly stamping our feet and insisting the other side is flat-out wrong entirely tends to push people away. And should those who agree with us one day find some good points across the fence, they will be faced with an artificial choice you created: Do they maintain their beliefs they no longer believe are completely true, or do they reject the information they just learned?

The nuances we gain by learning what both sides believe and why afford us a deeper understanding. This is good for others, not just us. Equipped with a clearer picture, we can discuss and defend our position. We can invite someone to see things our way as we see it from their perspective. We can dig down to the root issues 14 feet underground, rather than muck about in the muck filling the laundry room.

With Sonlight, odds are you're teaching your kids multiple views. You're equipping them to speak true and love. You're doing things right.

Keep it up.

~Luke Holzmann
Filmmaker, Writer, Pseudo-Dad

Tagged discussion, teaching, truth | 1 Comment

Aug. 5, 2014

From Luke's Inbox: Teen Depression and Suicide

By Luke

This article expresses why we didn't purchase Sonlight past 7th grade. I'm not sure how titles like Brave New World, The Great Gatsby, Treasure Island, Death of a Salesman, and others line up with Philippians 4:8.

Thanks for sharing the article. I had a few rambling thoughts as I read it. I hope they prove helpful here.

First, I know Sarita agrees with the article's thrust that we shouldn't dwell on depression and giving up. That's largely her point in her post about the literature Sonlight offers both in the high school levels and before.

Second, personally, I loved Brave New World and Treasure Island. For me, Brave New World -- in particular -- was a devastating picture of a hedonist society that had lost touch with it's religious roots, roots which had also lost a mooring. If I ever become a "real" filmmaker, I would love to adapt that book to the screen. My wife, on the other hand, hated the book. This points to something very important we both already know: We must choose materials that are best for our children. I'm glad you're looking for curriculum that will be more in line with what your children need. (By the by, I hated Gatsby when I read it in high school ... ugh.)

Third, it is true that suicide is a big topic with teens. Paul Graham in Why Nerds are Unpopular says, "Like other teenagers, we loved the dramatic, and suicide seemed very dramatic." Suicide is also the topic of many college films (yep, I even made one). So, yes, let's not dwell on suicide and encourage kids to think about their own and how they would do it. On the other hand, this is a very, very real reality. At a church lock-in over the weekend, I prayed with a girl who has had 12 (yes, a dozen) friends/family members commit suicide in the last year. Unpleasant, but reality. And unlike the author of the article or those interviewed, I don't think Death of a Salesman is what pushed them over the edge. The article feels like grasping for a simple answer to a very complex issue, similar to the way people blame video games every time there is a shooting (in fact, check out this brief clip about news reports and video games in David McCandless' "The beauty of data visualization" at 4:10). Emily herself says, "Thousands of students, of course, read these books and don't kill themselves, but among the depressed they may contribute to bleakness." So, yes, if your student is depressed, be careful. See point #2.

Drop of Blood

Finally, your comments reminded me of a few posts I've written. I think it's important to remember that the Easter story is violent and redemptive. Instead of meditating on how life is meaningless and pointless (a la Ecclesiastes), we can focus on the love and goodness of God in the midst of life (also in Ecclesiastes). I also feel that it's good to remember that Sonlighters don't have their "sheltered world" rocked by accounts of sin. In fact, I know my "sheltered" homeschool experience wasn't sheltered in the way most people think.

I wonder if literature isn't the real issue here. More than the stories students read, I think it's the stories we tell ourselves that have the biggest impact. Dark literature certainly isn't helping in these cases -- making misery normative -- but there are many other places students can go to find an echo chamber of their angst. We should seek to connect with our students so we are aware of the things they are thinking about and considering.

Homeschooling lets us do that.

~Luke Holzmann
Filmmaker, Writer, Pseudo-Dad

P.S. As for Philippians 4:8, I got to thinking about that verse while in the bathroom back in 2008, and I wrote about it on my personal blog. I know it's not directly related to the subject matter at hand, but I don't want to use a verse like that to stop us from being lights in ever darker places as God calls us onward.

Tagged culture, high school, literature, reading, teens | 3 Comments

Aug. 4, 2014

Cool Science, Tree Rings, and Volcanoes

By Luke

This is amazing: Scientists were befuddled by tree ring data not matching the natural cooling that follows a volcanic eruption. It turns out, in really cold years, we may not get tree rings at all. The data doesn't exist!

Missing Tree Rings

Seriously, read the whole article (it's written in a way that I was able follow most of it). This is an excellent contemporary example of how science works, and what it looks like while people try to make sense of what we observe.

Reminds me of apparent retrograde motion. Assuming the earth is the center of the universe produces very observable -- albeit incorrect -- models of how things work (check out this video and this one for a bit more). Similarly, assuming trees almost always add wood, the information we have doesn't make sense with the temperature measurements we've collected. Something strange is going on. ...or, perhaps, we've assumed the wrong things!

By stepping back and considering our limited perspective, we gain a better understanding of what's happening. And that is very, very cool. ...especially when it's paired with volcanoes and tree rings! I am so excited by this information; it reminds me yet again of how awesome life-long learning is.

I love science. I think a big part of my admiration was incubated in how I encountered science growing up.¹ Science wasn't an abstract, out there, to-be-feared or dreaded topic. Instead, it was accessible, and a way to make sense of the world. Studying science and history also offered a great way to talk about interpretation, providing very real examples of what it means to get things wrong and learn from mistakes.² When paired with history, we can see the strengths and weaknesses of science. It's a fantastic area of study with sci-fi-esque applications. Science is also all to susceptible to philosophical and political influence. Studying science as we did opened up discussion for other areas of study -- such as Scripture -- which are also colored by presuppositions. All of this nudged me toward humility and ever further study.

Okay, if you haven't yet read the original article, do so! It blew my mind and got me so excited about science yet again.

~Luke Holzmann
Filmmaker, Writer, Pseudo-Dad

1. If you have yet to experience Sonlight's hands-on Science programs, check out the Science Explorations which are fewer than $50 and come with a $20 Science package coupon if you order by the end of this month.

2. Here are just a handful of posts related to interpretation and scientific surprises: the discovery of a minor planet with rings (not thought to be possible), some thoughts on a comedian who thinks science is always right, my own ignorance of how planes fly, and a fun little bit about lightning.

Dendrochronologists: those who study rings of trees to date past events

Brought to you by Greg Laden

Tagged history, life-long learning, science | Leave a comment

Jul. 31, 2014

Kind words are like honey ...

By Judy

Someone offered some words of encouragement to me this past week ... twice in fact! Now you may think me desperate for blog material if I'm writing about something nice being said to me ... but stop and think about this with me for just a moment (and I promise it will be short).

When was the last time someone said something legitimately nice to you (as in, not flattery)?

When was the last time *YOU* said something encouraging to someone?

Solomon said "Kind words are like honey - sweet to the soul and healthy for the body." (Proverbs 16:24) The encouraging words I heard this past week were just that ... very tasty to my soul and I'm sure they lowered my blood pressure at least a couple of points! Your words are far more than just "hot air" ... they have the potential to affect the people around you at a much deeper level.

I remember wrestling with this concept when I was still homeschooling our children. It was so very easy to regularly point out where they had done wrong, or to make them aware of my frustration with them ... but I did not share encouraging words with them nearly enough. Solomon also said "When she speaks, her words are wise, and she gives instructions with kindness." (Proverbs 31:26) I'm fairly certain, if you were to ask my children, they would not report that I always gave instruction with kindness.

So please let me "encourage" you to begin practicing "giving instruction with kindness" right now ... over summer break ... before the stress of the school year begins once again. It might amaze you how attitudes change and motivation increases. I guarantee that you will also benefit from being a "honey giver".

Still on the journey ...
~Judy Wnuk

Tagged Encouragement | Leave a comment

Don't Isolate Yourself

My First Day of School Memories

Teaching Kids how to say no

Plumbers and Teaching Multiple Views

From Luke's Inbox: Teen Depression and Suicide

Cool Science, Tree Rings, and Volcanoes

Kind words are like honey ...

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