Dads - 5 Ways to Bring Life to Your Homeschool

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Todd Wilson

Summer is almost over and it's time to start another year of homeschooling!!!! Yay!!!!!!

Yeah, it's not working for me either. Even if you're still basking in the glow of summer freedom, it won't be long before you get to bask in the privilege of homeschooling. Dad, here's the deal: Your wife may be dreading the thought of starting back up again. It's not that she hates being with her kids ... it's just that the pressure can feel so great.

Dragging Mom by Todd Wilson

For us dads, not much changes. We still get up and go to work, enjoy a quiet office, eat power lunches, and engage in adult conversation. Not so with our spouses. Starting back up to school can feel overwhelming, and if we're not doing our job right, we make homeschooling even harder ... almost impossible. Read this email that I got a while back:

"Hi Todd ... As a homeschool mom, I am feeling the same way (discouraged). I am truly rethinking everything in my life right now. And my conclusion ... homeschooling is not worth it. I feel as if everything is on my shoulders. I deal with 5 boys and 2 girls ALL DAY LONG. I have been sacrificing for 16 years now and I am burnt out. I think it is so important for husbands of homeschool moms to know ... KEEP PURSUING YOUR WIFE. Keep fanning the flames. Keep speaking words of appreciation and encouragement. Keep wooing her. KEEP HER HEART. It is not an easy task but it is so necessary.

"I have talked to too many stay-at-home moms and I know that we all feel the same way. As soon as our husbands leave the door, we are an open target for the enemies of our soul. We are bombarded with thoughts that we know are from the enemy, yet we do not know how to control or stop them. And yes, the obvious and legalistic answer would be, 'Well, if you would pray, read Scripture, organize better, and blah blah blah ...' but that doesn't make it better. I feel as if I am dying inside and so alone. If this goes on too long I am not sure what I would do in order to climb out of this downward spiral." ~ A Mom

Now, I'm not trying to paint a portrait of a dismal existence, because I believe with all my heart that homeschooling is the best way to accomplish God's design for our children and families. I just want YOU, Dad, to realize how important YOUR job as husband is to your wife's joy or lack of joy, in homeschooling.

Did you hear the words the mom in the email spoke, "I know that we ALL feel the same way ...?" That means your wife feels like tossing in the towel sometimes ... maybe even now.

So here's a plan to ensure your wife doesn't enter the downward spiral:

  1. Step up to the plate. She can't do it all ... so help out where you can to lessen the burden she bears, often alone. That might include watching the kids while she goes out with a friend for dessert, putting the kids to bed, or keeping them occupied after dinner.
  2. Woo her. Plan a date every week or every other week and go somewhere so she can talk, debrief ... and talk some more. This is huge.
  3. Encourage her in the truth. Remind her of why you're doing what you're doing and why what she does matters. You might do that with small notes, texts, or emails.
  4. Pray for her. Make a list of things that she needs God to supply and then post it somewhere to remind you to pray daily.
  5. Make sure she has all that she needs to homeschool. The proper tools cost, so plan to shell out some bucks. Don't be cheap!

Need some more ideas? Get my book Help! I'm Married to a Homeschooling Mom. I'm telling you, Dad, if you do your job right, it just might be the best homeschool year EVER!

This is a post written especially for homeschooling dads who play more of a support role in their family's homeschool. We understand not everyone is in this situation, but think Todd has some helpful principles that could be adapted to your own personal situation. Take whatever is helpful here!

Todd-WilsonTodd Wilson is a dad, writer, conference speaker, and former pastor. His humor and down-to-earth realness have made him a favorite speaker at homeschool conventions across the country, as well as a guest on Focus on the Family. As founder of Familyman Ministries, his passion and mission are to remind dads and moms of what's most important through a weekly e-mail for dads, seminars, and books that encourage parents. Todd and his wife, Debbie, homeschool six of their eight children (three have graduated) in northern Indiana and travel America in the Familyman Mobile. You can read more at www.familymanweb.com

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Homeschooling Will Fail You If...

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I don't blog about theology much here, as this is a homeschool blog.* But there is a theme rippling through "the homeschool movement" that bears repeating: Trust Jesus, not the system.

Over the last couple weeks, there have been many excellent Other Posts of Note about this:

Chasm
Chasm

Whether it's a sin management scheme, a ploy to parent perfectly, or a confidence in your chosen educational approach, we would be wise to remember that "Unless the LORD builds the house, the builders labor in vain." We need to put our trust in Jesus, not a system. We definitely should not rely on homeschooling. Here are four reasons why...

First, don't trust the system because it's not the system. The system doesn't make you smarter. The system, at best, offers you a cool opportunity to learn. If you are homeschooling because of the results it will produce, homeschooling will fail you. Can homeschooling offer you excellent academics? Yes. Do homeschoolers do well academically? Yes. But does homeschooling make your child a genius? No. If your child is a genius -- or struggling, or perfectly average -- homeschooling is a great option that enables you to tailor an education program that challenges and nurtures your student. Homeschooling will not change your student into something else.

Second, homeschooling will fail you if you expect it to save your child. I know many homeschoolers who have walked away from their faith. You can't impose your convictions. And, seriously, if Jesus isn't enough to keep your kids, there's no way your educational style will do better.

Third, homeschooling will fail you if you think it will make your students better people. Homeschooling does allow you to shelter your children -- a very good thing! But if you're using homeschooling to keep your kids "pure" and away from bad influences, you're doing it wrong. The Gospel is about going out, not retreating in. Does that mean that you should have zero boundaries and embrace all things evil? Uh... no. Not at all.

Fourth, there is no utopia here, no panacea. This isn't all rainbows and unicorns. There is a world of mundane. Homeschooling doesn't ensure you "make it" in life. There are bad days. And even if things aren't to the level of bad, as Laura says in her post linked above:

the very moment you have gathered your chicks around you on the floor to learn something fabulous about the Bible or about the weather or about the water cycle ... someone will have to poop.

When we put our hope in the system, these interruptions and letdowns break us. They are disheartening and cause us to question our choices. What they should really do is remind us that we need to again throw ourselves on the mercies of God and trust Him to complete the good work He is doing in and through us.

I find it easy for me to look at something good -- like homeschooling -- and subtly assume that it is the answer. Homeschooling isn't the answer. Neither is bacon. Jesus is the answer. Homeschooling is the opportunity. And what a great opportunity it is! For just a few personal examples, check out the following "Sonlight to me" posts by

Yes, homeschooling is fantastic, but trust Jesus and not the educational method or the fabulous curriculum. May we all continue to learn to put our trust in the One who provides and not the provision He has graciously poured out.

Do you have any examples of how you have trusted the system to comedic ends? How has homeschooling been a blessing to you?

 ~Luke Holzmann
Filmmaker, Writer, Pseudo-Dad

* I've probably blogged about theology here more than I think. <smile>

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Looking Back to Look Ahead (aka Thankful Thursday)

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Blog_Header-650x276August was always my favorite time of year when we were homeschooling. My husband and I held our annual teacher in-service conference at the end of every summer. We would take a long walk through a local park, meet at a favorite restaurant, or pack a picnic lunch and head to the lake to plan for the coming school year. It was a wonderful perk of being a parent/teacher, and one I would highly recommend you build into your summer planning.

The purpose of our yearly meeting was two-fold … to look back on the previous year, and to look ahead to the upcoming year. So as you are making your school supply lists and checking them twice, plan to make yet another list for the coming year.

Look Back …

Take a few moments to list, for each student, what worked and did not work the previous school year. Did Ashley conquer her struggle with multiplication facts? Celebrate! Did Sam’s attitude about completing school work on time improve by the end of the year? Praise God! Make a list of three academic and three spiritual/character highlights from your school year and refer to it often in the coming year. Rehearse God’s work in the lives of your students and be sure to include them in your thankfulness. Remind them that you are on this homeschooling journey together, and that both victories and challenges are part of taking the trip.

Path PictureLook Ahead ...

Your next list (remember, I love list-making) will outline those things that didn’t work as well. Did Ashley really struggle with the Spelling program you chose for this year? Did she find it repetitious and yawn-worthy? Maybe there’s room to consider another approach for teaching Spelling in the coming year. Does Sam still struggle with correct punctuation and sentence mechanics in general? This might need to be your focus for him this fall. Perhaps both of your children wrestle with trusting Mom/Dad (and God) to make the best choices for them.  Make a list of three academic and three spiritual/character goals for the coming year. Base them on what you know to be true about your students from the previous school year. Use those goals to help you make curriculum and extra-curricular choices. Hang your list on the bulletin board or refrigerator where you and your students can review it often. One of my favorite sayings is “you can’t hit what you don’t aim for”. So know what you're aiming for!

A goals list serves one other purpose for your homeschool year. When the mid-year doldrums hit (maybe January or February) … and they will! … reviewing your goals will be a good reminder of what your priorities are, and what doesn't matter.

So as you enjoy one last trip to the beach ... as you savor the last opportunities for late night star-gazing around the campfire ... spend a few minutes to also review both the successes and challenges from the previous school year. And don't forget to focus on what God taught YOU this past year. Because we all know that our children are not the only ones who get an education when we homeschool.  :)

Still on the journey ...
~Judy Wnuk

PPS ... Get that goals checklist up on your refrigerator before the first day of school. Snap a quick pic and post your 'fridge list on our Facebook page. Trust me on this ... it's worth the effort to make the list!

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What You Really Need for Your Homeschool Year

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As the new school year begins, what do you really need for your homeschool? I need a checklist for my heart.

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Top 25 Reasons Sonlight is 25 Years Old - Part 2

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I hope you enjoyed the first part of my list of Top 25 Reasons Sonlight is 25 Years Old. I've had just as much fun digging deep and asking folks for ideas for the rest of my list.  List-making is a passion of mine! Once you've read through this last list of my reasons, please feel free to add to it any you think I've forgotten.

13. Our customers love to celebrate Box Day. It's almost as good as, or some would say even better, than Christmas!

BoxDay14. We give scholarships to our Sonlight students. I think this is one of the best arguments for homeschooling in general, and more specifically, for why Sonlight "works"!

15. We pick the best books. When we first considered homeschooling some 20 years ago, this reason was at the top of my list for considering Sonlight as an option. Sarita's 7-point All-Star test for choosing books quickly became my own.

16. We have the best convention rep's in the world! I admit to being a bit biased on this one, but if you've ever had the opportunity to meet one of our representatives at a convention near you, I think you'll agree. They're a great group of hard-working, passionate, veteran Sonlight moms. They love nothing better than spending their summer weekends sharing that passion with other families.

IMG_984217. We have a top notch customer service team. Just like our convention rep's, this group of folks is passionate about providing our customers with the very best. They give new meaning to "going above and beyond".

This is a SHOUT OUT for Sonlight's AWESOME customer service!
There were 2 things missing from my order, and one EXTRA workbook.
Doesn't sound like a favorable experience, right?  (Keep in mind it was a HUGE order of approx 60 items!)
Well, I called today.  Got a super-friendly, live person right away.
NOT ONLY are they over-nighting my missing items to me,
they said I should keep the extra workbook, enjoy it; it would be their blessing.
It is one I would have probably ordered later anyway.
I'm a very happy customer!  (~mama katie)

18. We help families develop a lifestyle of learning.

19. We enable parents to give their children a broader world view.

20. We give students the confidence to engage with others.

21. We provide free access to experienced homeschool counsel and support. Our Sonlight Homeschool Advisors are ready and excited to assist you with choosing and using Sonlight Curriculum materials.

22. We help you to develop close family bonds.

23. We assist you with training your students to defend their faith.

24. We help you to develop a love for reading aloud to your children (and someday perhaps to your grandchildren!)

25. We offer what we believe to be the very best, unmatched money-back guarantee in the industry. We provide you the freedom to try our program with the knowledge that you can get your money back if it doesn't work for your family.

I hope you've enjoyed this reminder of all the reasons why Sonlight is celebrating our 25th anniversary this year. Perhaps you will be part of the next 25 years worth of reasons! As Sarita reminded us at our company celebration in June ... look at what God has done! May He receive the glory.

Still on the journey ...
~Judy Wnuk

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How Sonlight Handles the Trivium

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Or "How You Get a Classical Education with Sonlight You and Your Children Will Love"

What is a Classical Education?

The basic idea behind a "Classical Education" or the "trivium" is that learning progresses through three main stages:

  1. Grammar (accumulating facts through memorization)
  2. Logic (organizing that data into a rational, trusted mechanical framework)
  3. Rhetoric (communicating these facts with understanding and persuasion)

Italy-Stairs
Stairway in Italy - 2007

Some homeschool programs are built around these stages, segmenting instruction by stage and age. This approach is based on child development theory which indicates that children in elementary school are ready for Grammar, middle school children crave Logic, and high school students demand Rhetoric; built into this thinking is an idea that younger children are not yet ready for the upper level stages of learning.

There is much truth to this, shown by the success of these programs. Still, limiting discussion to specific ages because young children aren't interested in, say, "why" questions yet is demonstrably misguided. As one mother recently said to me, "Two-year-olds ask why all the time! Clearly they are interested in some kind of logic." Another mother told me that her young children found memorization exercises boring. "That approach would be draining to my family," she said.

How Sonlight Approaches the Trivium

Sonlight, like every other educational model I've encountered, covers grammar, logic, and rhetoric; we just don't label them that way. Also, we start from a different foundation. Rather than limiting discussion (rhetoric and logic) to children "ready" for it, we encourage you to talk with your children in age appropriate ways. And how do we spark such communication?

Through stories.

But not just any stories. Sonlight begins with a History focus and makes connections from there. Your curriculum is packed with historical fiction, biographies, beautiful picture books, and more. These ignite the imagination and provide ample opportunity to talk with your children, no matter their age. What about the developmental stages? No problem. You, as the parent, know what your children are ready for. Should you attempt to engage a child in "rhetoric" prematurely, you'll get immediate feedback and can adjust slightly. But should your four-year-old want an explanation, you can offer one that is on level.

Grammar
Proponents of a Classical approach suggest kids need "hooks" to which they can attach understanding. These are the facts learned in the Grammar stage. Every program gravitates to this naturally. These are the years where children learn their alphabet, the colors, days of the week, a good bit of vocabulary, and such. But rather than build a program confined to this idea, Sonlight introduces your children people, places, things within the context of a story. We encourage memorization where appropriate, but your children will remember the key ideas without resorting to dry repetition of data points. The hooks in stories are, in my opinion, a bit more memorable.

Logic
This is where Sonlight puts you center stage. We have a strong commitment to education, not indoctrination. Practically, this means we provide you with tools to introduce your children to what you believe and why. You'll also have opportunity to discuss the ideas you find untrustworthy or less rational. By the time your students hit high school, you will have already established a process by which you mull over big ideas together. For me, the most exciting aspect of driving toward Truth was through the biographies and historical accounts of people who have gone before. Seeing their lives play out gave me insights into how the world works in ways that dogmatic pronouncements never have.

Rhetoric
Throughout your Sonlight years, you will help your children solidify what they believe, and why. The Sonlight College Prep courses cover everything from the historical impact of Christianity to how the Gospel impacts how we think about money. Yes, you can even add a public speaking bit to your studies should you so choose. But when it comes to communicating ideas, your continued discussion is the best platform. As you wrestle through the darker aspects of history, and the ways men and women of God have extended grace in those situations, your conversations will deepen. And here, as your students teeter on the cusp of adulthood, you will discover the depth and breadth your children have covered.

How does Sonlight handle the trivium? How do you get a Classical Education with Sonlight?

Through great stories, deep discussion, and a global missions perspective, you'll naturally progress through the "Classical" stages of learning as you read, discuss, and experience Sonlight's literature-based homeschooling together. Learn more about

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