If you are homeschooling multiple children of various - but on the young side - ages, then you might wonder when do you get the housework done? Wouldn't it be grand if you could put your household on autopilot and let it take care of itself?
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When we first begin homeschooling, it’s easy to imagine breezy days of sweet Read-Alouds and smiling children. If you’re lucky, the first few days can be like that. But it can be a rude awakening when reality sets in and we are reminded that we are not teaching little angels. We are teaching fallible humans. Sometimes we find that we are teaching miniature versions of ourselves! Oh, the irony to see ourselves mirrored in these tiny people!
So we find ourselves in a new predicament...how to deal with behavior problems in the homeschool. Here are a few things that I have found to be helpful.
You may have weeks of blissful schooling, and I certainly hope you do, but none of us are perfect. There will come a point where you’ll have to deal with issues.
Consider it part of your job description.
If you aren’t surprised by the setback, you’ll be ahead of the game in dealing with it.
You may even find that your child who had perfect behavior at public school seems to have all kinds of troubles with you as the teacher. Don’t worry! This is normal. Your child is much more comfortable in their own house with you as their teacher than they would be at public school. They are more apt to let down their guard.
Expect these bumps in the road.
Hear, O Israel: The Lord our God, the Lord is one. Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength. These commandments that I give you today are to be on your hearts. Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up. Tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads. Write them on the doorframes of your houses and on your gates.
Deuteronomy 6:4-9
Be diligent to teach your children who God is. Then, teach them that they are image bearers of God. Give them The Gospel daily. Trust this to transform them from the inside out. It will take time...maybe more time than you would like. But the Bible says our hopes will be rewarded eventually:
“so shall my word be that goes out from my mouth; it shall not return to me empty, but it shall accomplish that which I purpose, and shall succeed in the thing for which I sent it.”
Isaiah 55:11
Many schools use behavior modification systems, such as color charts and strike systems. Use caution with these. They are not long-term solutions to heart problems. If you choose to use a behavior modification system, be sure to accompany it with The Word of God.
So far, my advice has been preventative. I cannot stress how important it is to do the preventative work in your family. It’s always easier to be proactive than to find yourself in a place where you will have to be reactive. However, even if you do all the right things, your children will have their moments, just like you and I have our moments. In that time, we need to know how to react.
Stay calm.
Take a deep breath and speak in your most calm voice. Remember, your child probably isn’t thinking clearly, so you must be the voice of reason. Don’t let your child’s behavior get you into a fuss too. Simply state what you would like for them to do in the least words possible. For example,
“Evan, stop throwing the ball so you can get your work done.”
If your child chooses not to stop throwing the ball, simply state the consequence. Don’t lecture.
Does anyone else find this the most difficult part? This point is where I want to begin a five- to ten-minute lecture on why we don’t throw the ball, why we need to make better choices, and what Evan needs to work on.
If you feel that there is definitely a need for more explanation, then by all means, file the incident away to discuss in an upcoming Bible or character lesson. But the heat of the moment is never a good time to lecture.
Before you find yourself in a situation like the one I described above, you’ll want to sit down with paper and a pen to list common behavior problems that your children face. Every family is different, so while dawdling may be an issue in my family, you may have a completely different set of struggles.
Then, beside each behavior problem, write down an appropriate consequence. It is best to do this when you are in a calm state of mind. I would recommend that you try to lump similar offenses together so that you have only a handful of consequences. For example, dawdling and doing messy work might have the same consequence. Both of those could be handled by having the child stay inside during break time to finish or re-do the work. Reducing the number of consequences will reduce the possibilities you will consider in the heat of the moment, and this will help you to stay calm and collected.
Once you have your list, keep it close by to reference every so often. Dole out the consequence with as little emotion as possible, and see to it that you follow through.
Most importantly, be consistent. Consistency is one of the most challenging parts of parenthood. We must be consistent in correcting bad behavior so we don’t send mixed messages to our children. Keep going, even when it gets tough, even when you’re tired. Hard work pays off.
We always need to be aware of our speech to our children. When they hear our voice in their head, do they hear us correcting them or encouraging them?
We should always strive to have more encouraging moments with our kids than we have correcting moments. This is difficult, especially when you have a child with a lot of behavior issues. However, we want to help them create a positive inner dialogue. After correcting their behavior, you might add, “I know you can do this.”
You’ll also want to affirm them often. Remember to point out the character qualities that you see them either improving upon or that they have mastered. For example, “I know it would have been easier to lie about that, but I am so grateful that you chose to be honest. It’s great to know I can trust you,” or, “I have been watching you, and I’ve noticed how kind you have been to your sister lately. I’m so thankful that God is developing this quality in your heart.”
Finally, connect with your child often. Talk, talk, talk, but even more so, listen, listen, listen. Find out what’s happening in their heart.
If your child isn’t a talker, try playing a game while you chat, or find the place where they feel safe enough to open up. For me, it was always the front seat of my mom’s car. She would take me for a drive any time I needed to talk.
I tell my children regularly that I will correct them. They should expect that, and they should know that I don’t expect perfection from them. I correct because I love them too much to leave them where they are. This is the same thing that God does with us.
He loves us too much to leave us in our sin. He meets us where we are, but thankfully, He doesn’t leave us there. He gives us the Holy Spirit to help us in our sanctification, and transforms us day by day to look more like His Son, Jesus, so that we might spread The Gospel throughout the world.
Are you homeschooling a child who struggles with reading comprehension? Perhaps they struggle with or show the signs of a visual processing disorder such as dyslexia. They might wear glasses or have trouble seeing. Perhaps they just don’t like reading or writing. Some children learn best when they hear the lessons rather than read them on their own.
Children who fit these traits are probably auditory learners. They enjoy and learn best from sound: conversation, discussion, video, and music.
Auditory learners prefer to learn by hearing instead of by seeing or doing. Of course, using all kinds of learning methods, including visual and kinesthetic, will enrich your homeschool. So even if you find you have an auditory learner, don't discard other avenues of learning. But when your auditory learner is struggling, it's a good idea to revert back to the preferred auditory methods listed below. These techniques will provide the smoothest learning experience.
Fortunately, Sonlight homeschool curriculum works well with auditory learners. Rich Read-Alouds are included at every level, even in high school, so your children are getting the bulk of their lessons through listening. Even books scheduled as Readers can be used as Read-Alouds as needed. In the Instructor's Guides, Sonlight suggests discussion questions for every book you read—perfect for the auditory learner.
See if the Sonlight method would work for your auditory learner. Request your free novel and study guide now.
Homeschool doesn’t last forever!
It's a sentiment which has the potential to wring the heart of any homeschool parent, even those who are still in the early stages, wondering if adding and subtracting are ever going to click.
They will.
And someday the kids who repeatedly misspelled school will be all grown up and graduated—moving away from home, heading off to college and careers, marriages, and all manner of grown-up life.
Someday, your homeschooled high-schooler will graduate. Besides using a curriculum that teaches them the reading, math, writing, and science they need, how else can you ensure that your kids are best prepared for life beyond homeschool?
Here are crucial life skills to make sure you cover with your teens before high school graduation. Be sure to consider these when you create a homeschool high school plan.
Your teen should have some experience with handling a personal budget and managing their finances at this point in life, but the stakes are higher when, post-graduation, they begin seeking further education or move out on their own. For most young people, this is the first time that the amounts of money that they are managing begin to number in the thousands of dollars. This is when young adults often begin paying all or a great amount of their own living expenses, from groceries and rent to insurance.
Being able to make both big and small financial decisions that are in line with their own values is crucial to starting adulthood strong. Far too many twenty- and thirty-somethings in my own generation look back on their early adult years and wish they had made different choices.
Have meaningful conversations about finances throughout their high school years and give them the tools they need to make wise decisions.
During their teen years, consider having your student watch as you file taxes, pay bills, and create the family budget. Discuss how your values and financial goals influence your decisions for spending. Talk about the vocabulary surrounding savings accounts, retirement funds, and credit cards.
One of the best ways to make sure that your teens are prepared to handle real-world finances is to have open discussions about money and financial choices. Here is a list of discussion starters:
Your homeschooled student needs to be comfortable with receiving a phone call from a stranger and making one. This seemingly small task is one that has become a foreign experience in the generation that was raised with texting and social media! But there are still many times in grown-up life when you must make a phone call—to set up a job interview, to deal with a utility bill, or when you have a concern about your health insurance.
Phone calls are just one aspect of the wider range of strong communication skills that are needed to prepare your teen for life after graduation. Clear email communication plays a key role in many, if not most, careers, and it’s also important to develop confidence in face-to-face communication with people of any generation and background.
As you seek to help your homeschooled student improve their communication skills, discuss these topics:
There’s no reason for the “bachelor apartment” phenomenon to exist, among young men or women. If your teens are equipped with the skills they need to maintain their homes, prepare nutritious meals, and keep their vehicles in safe working order before they leave the nest, then you won’t have to worry about becoming that parent of urban legend whose college student mails clothing back home to be laundered.
During the older teen years, when your kids often become busier outside the home with jobs, extracurriculars, and friends, it can become harder to enforce regular chore duties. But in spite of how busy schedules can become, making sure that your teens have adequate opportunity to practice and improve their household skills will prepare them to balance the maintenance of a home, yard, and vehicle while working full-time and raising their own families.
The ability to gracefully handle the stress of adult life will be crucial for your children as they begin to leave home. There are countless intimidating first times ahead of them. Does your teen know where to turn when they feel overwhelmed with a new responsibility or situation?
At these later stages of homeschool, it's time to move beyond simple physical skills into critical thinking, discussing why and how to apply the skills you’ve taught them. This is a key season as we seek to train the hearts and minds of our children. We pray they approach their own lives mindfully, rather than merely operating on auto-pilot or following the crowd of peers.
For homeschooling high school with Sonlight, you have a variety of options. Mix-and-match courses to offer you maximum flexibility!
Supply your animal-loving child with a home library of books featuring beloved animals. In these titles, you'll fall in love with pets, farm animals, and wild creatures—fantastic and real. Sometimes the animals are the main characters of the book, and in other cases the animals are portrayed in relation to human characters.
You may have seen the movie. Don't discount the book!
Set on a farm, the book recounts the story of Babe, a pig. After being taken in by Farmer Hogget's sheepdog, Fly, it's only natural Babe would want to follow in his foster mum's paw-steps. Even with considerable handicaps as a sheepdog (namely, he's a pig), he manages to overcome all with his earnestly polite and soft-spoken ways, proving once again that might doesn't always make right.
After saving the sheep from rustlers and wild dogs, Babe convinces Hogget that his idea of becoming a sheep-pig might not be so silly after all. No one could have predicted what follows.
Pair it with a trip to a farm to see how sheep are raised.
A warm story about an asocial recluse who finally wins friends when he builds and moves into a cottage in the forest.
Your forest-loving child will be enchanted by the parade of raccoons, deer, skunks, and other woodland creatures that take over Kildee House and enrich the life of the man living in their midst.
Your kids may want to move to a cabin in the woods after reading this one!
Sheep are the featured animal in this touching, beautifully crafted, and thought-provoking work of fiction in which a young farm boy grows up.
This more mature book deals with several life issues: birth, death, real life farm activities, working hard and living off the land. The family never protects their young son from the realities of life, but instead allow his experiences to mold him into a caring, competent, and mature man.
This heartwarming classic explores the friendship between a little girl, a selfless spider and "the world's greatest pig."
Keep your tissues handy. You will cry.
Pair this book with a trip to your state or county fair. Be sure to tour the animal exhibits!
This story is a tale of fantasy featuring a dragon and other talking creatures. It's a delightful story about a boy who rescues a sweet young dragon from her enemies through the judicious use of the unlikely items he has stored in his knapsack.
This children's story allows you to begin talking with your children about typically difficult topics such as oppression, laziness, compassion and resourcefulness. Literature breaks through the awkwardness and allows us to dig into both the good and bad of life.
Enjoy open-ended crafts after you read. For example, try this mapping activity.
Here's another fantasy tale where animals can communicate with humans. Dr. Dolittle sails off to save African monkeys from an epidemic and encounters amazing animals.
As part of an introduction to the world, your children will travel halfway around the world in this book. With a mix of fairy tale experiences and real world animals, this book for children adds joy to your global, cultural studies
A classic, absolutely impossible tall tale. It will win your child's heart — and maybe yours, too!
Though completely fictitious, this illustrated book for children introduces many historical explorers in the naming of penguins.
After you read this animal book, visit the penguin enclosure at your closest zoo and imagine caring for a houseful of penguins!
Chester, a cricket from Connecticut, moves into the Bellinis' Newspaper Stand in New York City.
His escapades at first threaten to ruin the stand, but lead, ultimately, to the stand's greatest success. Fun!
Ten-year-old Willy needs to win the big dog sled race in order to pay the back taxes on his grandfather's farm. But that means he has to beat the huge Indian, Stone Fox, and his incredible dogsled team.
A stunning, heartwarming story set in Wyoming. The author was inspired by a Rocky Mountain legend. Though the characters are fictitious, the dogsled race and its surprising finish supposedly really happened.
Jonathan goes to get "the biggest pot you ever laid eyes on" — on the other side of Hemlock Mountain.
How he protects himself from the bears is the highlight of this short tall tale!
"Git along, little . . . turkeys"? Yep! In 1860, a fifteen-year-old boy attempts to herd one thousand turkeys from Missouri to Denver, Colorado, in hopes of selling them at a profit.
In this sure-fire funny-bone tickler, part tall-tale but mostly solid historical yarn, Simon Green proves he's a man and worthy of respect. What fun! This book will make you laugh!
To see more top-notch books and our complete book-based homeschool programs, ask for a complimentary copy of your catalog today.
Homeschooling mothers often struggle with the tension between joyfully serving their families and feeling like unappreciated servants. Despite the exhaustion and lack of recognition, reflecting on these seven truths can revitalize you.
They say that no one minds being a servant until they’re treated like one.
Homeschooling mothers face this dilemma on a regular basis. We love that we are called to be Christ-like servants to our families, but we don’t love when we are treated like servants by our husband, children, or friends. It’s discouraging to serve day in and day out without any significant recognition, appreciation, or compensation. Not to mention serving is exhausting and contrary to our natural desires.
How can we think well about our role and continue to serve day in and day out? Here are seven truths that strengthen me on a daily basis.
When God tells us to love Him with our minds, perhaps He is speaking primarily about developing the servant mindset of Christ. God cares about homeschooling moms who desperately need the grace to be Christlike in the daily grind. Make this one of your personal prayer requests and God will surprise you with strength and endurance.
“Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others. Have this mind among yourselves, which is yours in Christ Jesus, who, though he was in the form of God, did not count equality with God a thing to be grasped, but emptied himself, by taking the form of a servant, being born in the likeness of men. And being found in human form, he humbled himself by becoming obedient to the point of death, even death on a cross. Therefore God has highly exalted him and bestowed on him the name that is above every name, so that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow, in heaven and on earth and under the earth, and every tongue confess that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the Father.” Women who are able to serve people day in and day out need minds of steel, the mind of Christ. God alone can give us this gift. Let us appeal to him for our great need.”
Philippians 2:4-11
My worst days are when I mask my limitations and keep slaving away despite my bad attitude, my need for help, or my exhaustion. When I ignore my human limits, I crash… and I usually tear down my family while I’m at it.
Conversely, my best days are when I’m honest about my need for help, when I train my children to treat me with respect, and when I speak up about my struggles to keep serving.
Here's a glimpse from my personal life. My husband doesn’t know how to help me when I grit my teeth and keep serving with a terrible attitude, but he readily embraces and helps me when I lay my head on his chest and say, “I am so worn out.”
How can you admit and share your limitations with your family?
A woman who is serving other people needs to “make her arms strong” (Proverbs 31). What makes your body, mind, and soul strong? What do you have to do in order to laugh with hope, have strong relationships, and develop the gifts that God has given you?
Even though the needs around you may seem relentless, seek discernment about how you can refresh and refuel yourself so that you can continue to serve your family with strength.
God cares about women who have reached the end of their rope. He cares about us when we are irritated and everything’s falling apart. His advice to us in these moments is that we:
“Do all things without grumbling or disputing, that you may be blameless and innocent, children of God without blemish in the midst of a crooked and twisted generation, among whom you shine as lights in the world, holding fast to the word of life…”
Philippians 2:14-16
In our own understanding, whining and complaining feels good, but it’s not good for us. Over the years, I’ve asked the Holy Spirit to help me stop whining and complaining. When I am able to choose not to complain about difficult or unpleasant circumstances, I feel lifted up and sustained by God. A grateful attitude brings life to my family and buoys our homeschool.
Choosing not to complain is always worth the effort!
Too often, I serve my family as if I’m a waitress: I serve with a smile until I’ve reached my limit and need some appreciation, assistance, and compensation. My demanding irritation, anger, or grumpiness is like a waitress slapping the bill down on the table saying, “Pay up!” This ruins the gift altogether. Let’s ask God for the grace to serve our families for His approval and reward alone.
You may think this one is silly, but it works for me so I’m going to share it. When I’m up at night, serving sick children, I imagine that I’m Mother Theresa, tirelessly tending to “the least of these.” When I’ve had a full day of homeschooling, and my husband needs to talk, I imagine that I’m Olivia Walton.
Thinking about the ways that other women have served inspires me. It helps me to see my family through a more compassionate and courageous lens. How can you use your imagination to inspire your serving?
Nearing her deathbed, Vonette Bright (married to Bill Bright, creator of CRU), summarized the Christian life in one beautiful statement. When asked what life is about Vonette answered, “Serve the Lord with gladness!” This gem is from a woman, looking back on many years of serving her husband and children, giving up comforts, and sacrificing selfish pursuits for the Kingdom of God.
I have taken her words to heart, and they cheer me on as God calls me to serve my family and community on a daily basis. Life is all about serving the Lord with gladness. Homeschooling provides limitless opportunities to do this every day! May God bless you with a vision to serve Him with gladness today.
With great rewards, come great sacrifice... and homeschooling is no different. Boy, some days are tough, and it would be nice to have a reminder of the why behind your choice to homeschool. This guide will help.
Do you have a child who struggles with listening and understanding while you read aloud? Would they prefer to read the material themselves instead? Do they need to write down what they are thinking in order to remember it best? Does your child process pictures better than words and loves to illustrate or sketch homeschool lessons? If any of these characterize your child, you may be homeschooling a visual learner.
There are two main types of visual learning input:
You might find the visual child is better with visual-spatial activities at younger ages but enjoys visual-linguistic activities as their reading and writing abilities develop. Here are teaching and learning techniques to enrich your visual learner's homeschool experience.
Visual-linguistic activities focus mainly on the written word. Children who thrive with visual-linguistic presentation of information are typically avid readers. Because public schools have a strong visual-linguistic bent, these types of learners excel in a traditional classroom.
They typically read a passage and remember it with very little need for review. Sometimes they can remember what they have read from years ago.
If your child seems to love words and retains information better if there is a written aspect to it, you might be homeschooling a visual-linguistic learner. In that case, the techniques below will enhance your child’s learning experience.
Visual-spatial activities are similar to visual-linguistic activities, except they focus on images and pictures instead of words. You will find a lot of overlap between these two groups, so the techniques in the above list may work for your visual-spatial learner, too. This list includes only activities that are not mentioned above.
While everyone learns best when material is presented in a variety of ways, visual learners will especially benefit from the two lists of techniques above.
Visual-linguistic students are avid readers who adore a book-based homeschool curriculum. See what it could look like for your family.
