When Homeschool Moms Feel Invisible Like “Captain Nobody”

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When Homeschool Moms Feel Invisible Like “Captain Nobody”

I need to confess. While packing carry-ons for a flight, I pulled Captain Nobody off the Sonlight shelf and quickly stuck it in my daughter's backpack—as a independent free read. (You’ve never done that, right? Judged a Sonlight read-aloud by its cover, then ditched it?) After the sophistication of The Apprentice in History / Bible / Literature Level C, the cover of Captain Nobody just seemed...juvenile.

My daughter, who hasn’t yet learned to make snap judgements, enthusiastically devoured Captain Nobody in record time, oblivious to my uninformed opinion. Last month, when we spotted the book—narrated by author Dean Pitchford!—in our our library’s audiobook section, she nudged me and reminded me I was missing out.

So I entered the world of Captain Nobody. (I can’t believe I waited so long!)

How a Homeschool Mom Can Feel Invisible

If you haven’t met Newt Newman aka Captain Nobody, you might be surprised to hear me suggest the adventures of a spindly fourth-grader could have anything in common with the life of a homeschool mom. But good literature is relatable, and the common threads of human experience ring true across generations and cultures, bridging time and place.

If you’re already acquainted with Newt, you know he struggled with feeling

  • invisible,
  • overlooked, and
  • even neglected.

“I felt so angry on his behalf,” said one Sonlight mom as we chatted about Captain Nobody, “thinking it was so unfair that he, as a kid, went through it. But...I think that some of my anger was me feeling riled up about all the times I am taken for granted, myself.”

Young Newt was in charge of making breakfast, waking his brother up for school, and stepping into the roles his absent-minded parents forgot. And he felt like everyone around him could see directly through him. He writes,

“...nobody had eaten my breakfast.

I looked down at what was left. The sausages were cooling in their grease. The eggs were getting watery...

Now, I realize there’s not a lot I can do to help my family as they whiz through their busy days. And maybe I don’t build buildings or win ball games. But if make breakfast, the least they can do is eat it!”

Newt felt unappreciated and invisible, day after day, even as he obediently maintained his school and chore responsibilities. Fellow breakfast-maker, do you, too, feel as though the effort you pour into your household and family goes unseen? Does it seem like you’re plugging away on a hamster wheel with no visible progress? I’d venture to guess you’ve experienced inklings of these feelings at some point in your parenting journey; I know I certainly have.

And, like Newt, I sometimes feel like everyone around me is doing

  • more important,
  • more appreciated, and
  • more glamorous jobs,

while I am stuck in the cycle of thankless tasks. In a culture so enraptured with superheros, mountaintop experiences, and exceptional feats, it’s easy to feel lost, unable to see our own ordinary place in a world of more-than-ordinary influences.

Our Day to Day Work is Worship

Our culture—human nature as a whole, really—holds a skewed sense of heroes, doesn’t it? We walk right past those toiling quietly behind the scenes, and make a beeline toward the charismatic, flashy, extroverted personalities engaged in highly visible work.

As Newt faithfully plods forward, looking for examples of heroes, he slowly comes to the realization he has nothing in common with the kind of heroes people admire. You, too? Newt mourns,

“For one thing, most of my heroes stretch and transform their bodies into fantastic shapes. Tommy Origami, for instance, can fold his body into a packet the size of a postage stamp. Who was I kidding? I can barely touch my toes.”

To put Newt’s lament into homeschool mom terms, “Most of my heroes are put together, organized, and have time to write books on top of curating a picture-perfect homeschool” or “Most of my heroes are running orphanages, feeding the hungry, and forging new paths in faraway lands.” Like Newt, we might sigh to ourselves, “Who am I kidding?” as we’re limping through yet another math lesson and stacking yet another round of dishes.

But when done for Lord, work—all work—is worship. When we embrace this, we see the hallowed holy ground in quiet thankless tasks, carried out in the uneventful mundane hours. Our daily chores may not be prettified with the label of any official ministry or broadcast out to the world, but this work of raising and schooling children is elevated to the highest calling, when viewed in light of the gospel. So if we’re looking to find fulfillment by emulating a homeschool guru or other elusive hero, we simply will not find it. But when we dedicate our every task to God, we find peace and contentment.

You Are Not Invisible to God

Fellow mama, you who are

  • wonderfully made,
  • delightfully unique,
  • redeemed, and
  • the daughter of the Most High King,

don’t waste your energy striving to mimic someone you follow on social media! Don’t wear yourself out comparing yourself to a homeschool convention speaker or inspirational, do-everything, author you admire. They all have behind-the-scenes bad days, too—and just as many of them as you do.

Precious friend, you are you. You are not ‘supposed to be’ anyone else. You are you.

And our literary pal Newt Newman, too, discovered this.

“I’m not ‘supposed to be’ anybody...I am Captain Nobody.”

Maybe heroes walk around in stretched-out red sweatpants and a handmade mask, like he did. Or maybe they wear a top-knot, a slouchy homeschool tee, and printed leggings. That’s not the important part. The important part is—

You [yes, you!] are Captain Nobody! Defender of the little guy, champion of the downtrodden. Remember?

You’re doing the most important work.

To find out more about Sonlight's unmatched Read-Alouds, and our complete book-based homeschool programs, order a complimentary copy of your catalog today.

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Raising the Advanced Reader: Challenging While Protecting

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Raising the Advanced Reader: Challenging the Mind While Protecting the Heart

If you’re raising an advanced reader, you are probably, like me, thankful for the public library. We have raised ten kids who love books. You can imagine, that’s a ton of books being schlepped back and forth, piled in little boxes and cubbies—representing a mountain of financial savings.

We had a couple of young readers who were hungry to move up the reading shelves as quickly as possible, devouring more challenging material. Although I wanted to provide the books they craved, I also needed discernment in choosing books that matched their maturity levels.

When their little hands started reaching for longer and tougher books I asked, "How do I satisfy their desire for more difficult reading while protecting them from adult themes they aren’t ready for?”

When reading ability is outpacing emotional maturity, it can be a challenge to find suitable books. Here is what I learned in my quest to appropriately challenge my advanced readers while protecting their impressionable hearts.

YA Books Don’t Always Mean Higher a Reading Level

The Young Adult (YA) section of the library was tempting new territory for my advanced readers. A few familiar titles made it seem like a natural place to find books. However, after talking to my local children's librarian I learned a key fact. The YA designation of literature is recommended for readers in their teens, usually due to the maturity of the subject matter and not due to the reading level as you may assume.

She told me about her experience using the Accelerated Reader Bookfinder to determine the reading level of books. Most of the YA books in her collection were written to a fifth grade level—not especially advanced, yet many of the books had content that my elementary aged advanced readers simply weren't ready for.

My librarian did put me onto the trail of two great options for high level reading, though, and I found two others on my own:

  1. picture books
  2. poetry
  3. nonfiction
  4. current events

1. Picture Books for the Advanced Reader

It is not surprising when you think of it, after all, picture books are almost exclusively written with adult readers in mind, so they have a broad and rich vocabulary. They are written to speak to children’s interests however, with subjects that are engaging and art that inspires creativity. I confidently piled up more picture books, knowing these would challenge my young readers more than a YA novel.

2. Poetry for the Advanced Reader

Poetry scored high on the AR index because of its complex structure and diverse vocabulary. These are precisely the ingredients that help to build critical thinking and strong reading skills. After speaking with our librarian, I was grateful that Sonlight curriculum includes poetry collections for every level.

3. Nonfiction for the Advanced Reader

In my own search of the AR book-finder site, I saw that the greatest source of upper level reading is nonfiction. For example, books about history and technology are full of rich new vocabulary for young readers.

How do we enjoy nonfiction in our home? We love to explore a stack of books that cover a specific subject, like when we read Carry On Mr. Bowditch and checked out all of the books on sailboats. The beauty of nonfiction is that you can always find a few books about the subjects you are covering in school if you want to extend your lessons into recreational reading time.

4. News and Current Events Articles for the Advanced Reader

My last source of advanced reading material is current events. We have used WORLD Magazine for ten years. We received the physical magazine then transitioned into the digital age by switching to the online format. We love that WORLD comes from a Christian worldview and is available in age categories you can choose to fit your family.

I also found Newsela and signed up for a free account. It is a secular site but is full of current news and events. The site allows you to choose news articles and to set the reading level of that article for your child, from 3rd to 12th grade. Difficult vocabulary words are highlighted and defined in the text making integration of new words easy for your child to do as they read.

Homeschooling the Advanced Reader Takes Planning

Incorporating high index picture books, beautiful poetry, nonfiction, and news articles made it easy for me to find satisfying reading that filled my advanced readers' minds with information even outside of school time. I was able to always have a supply of new reading material ready for them.

When my young teens were ready to start choosing YA books for themselves, we helped them transition by doing a personal study on discernment, written by a fellow homeschool graduate. It gave me confidence that my children were ready to take over their library experience with good judgement. It is hard to believe, but this group of readers is entering college in the fall. We are still talking about what they are reading but now, they are giving me great book recommendations, too.

 If you are not sure your young reader's reading level, you can check with a free Sonlight reading assessment.

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How I Decided Between a 4-Day or 5-Day Homeschool Curriculum

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Even for veteran homeschool parents, choosing a homeschool curriculum for the new school year can be a wrenching decision. Recently I was faced with a tough decision: Would I choose a 4-day curriculum or a 5-day curriculum?

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Why Sonlight Uses Books That Some Homeschoolers Won't Touch

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Our editorial team has very high standards for every book and product we carry. There is no item in our curriculum that has not been carefully and very thoughtfully selected. Even a book that you find distasteful, we have included to help you guide your child. Yet, some homeschoolers wonder why we use "questionable" books in Sonlight, books that they won't touch.

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"Dear Sarita, Why did you choose that book?"

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"Dear Sarita, Why did you choose that book?" controversial books in Sonlight

I've received a lot of feedback in 28 years. I treasure the stacks of letters from Sonlight parents who love the books I choose.

But occasionally, I get letters that criticize—or even express great disappointment—in the titles I so carefully include in Sonlight's programs. While I greatly prefer the over-the-top-positive letters (I am human, after all), I've come to appreciate the harder letters as well in which people question my inclusion of controversial books in Sonlight.

Discernment: You Choose What Your Children Read

I'm grateful for all moms who invest enough time in their children's education to be able to critically evaluate what their children are reading … even if they disagree with my selections in the end. Many parents who send their children off to be educated by someone else have little knowledge of what their children are learning. They trust the system has worked out all the kinks. They trust the school format provides all the oversight and covering their students need.

So, kudos to all moms who are involved enough with their children's education and training to be able to evaluate their curriculum. May you continue to critically evaluate, wisely critique, and demonstrate for your children a lifestyle that follows the example of the Bereans—who carefully studied the Scriptures to see if what Paul said was true (Acts 17:11).

Discussion: You Guide Your Children Through Difficult Content

Of course, I believe Sonlight provides a balanced, Christ-centered education. And thousands upon thousands of families worldwide agree. But I never want kids to just swallow someone else's view hook, line, and sinker. I want them to think critically and evaluate for themselves using Biblical principles. That is exactly what Sonlight's educational approach trains students to do.

So if you ever come across a book you disapprove of in our curriculum, consider it a chance to demonstrate discernment. I think most families choose to read such books with their children and discuss the sticky content. This practice leads to incredible conversations that help you shape your children's values. But you are certainly welcome to simply skip a controversial or troubling book as well.

If you do skip a book and let me know about your disappointment, I'll remind myself as I carefully review and digest what you share that I'm hearing from a parent who has modeled discernment for his or her children. And I'll be grateful for your involvement in their education—and mine!

Many blessings,
Sarita

P.S. If you're interested in how I choose books for Sonlight's programs, check out What it Takes for a Book to Become a Sonlight All-Star.

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7 Myths About Dyslexia Every Homeschool Mom Needs to Know

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7 Myths About Dyslexia Every Homeschool Mom Needs to Know

One question I am often asked is what to do with a child who struggles with spelling or writing or reading. Often, a parent will begin with a statement such as “my child can’t seem to memorize spelling words very well,” but after a few questions will state “but, they don’t have dyslexia.” Other times a parent will tell me, “My child acts almost like a child with dyslexia...but not quite.”

There are a lot of misconceptions about what dyslexia is and what it looks like.

I’ll use my own story as an example. I am a nurse with a background in education. My brother, sister, and mother all have dyslexia. I am familiar with the symptoms of struggling to read, being unable to spell well, and hating writing. So when my oldest taught herself to read at age 3, and was reading fairly well by 4, I gave a deep sigh of relief, and relaxed. No dyslexia there.

My Child Doesn't Have Dyslexia

But, by age 6, even though she could read at a high school level, she still made mistakes in reading. Often, she would read hard words with ease, but struggle on simple words. But, of course, I knew she couldn’t have dyslexia, so I brushed it off as simply a childhood quirk and she’d grow out of it in a few years.

By age 8, she could read almost anything I put in front of her. However, she still struggled from time to time with the simple words, and would often not recognize when she made simple mistakes in reading. Also, she couldn’t spell. For a child who could read so much, I couldn’t understand why she couldn’t spell. One word we worked on for months, was the word, “she.” It seemed she could always remember that she spelled it the wrong way, but she couldn’t seem to remember the correct way, she she kept coming up with more and more creative ways of spelling “she.”

  • Shee
  • Hse
  • Hsee
  • Chee
  • Shi
  • Shy
  • Chi
  • Chy

And so on.

Every day, she’d come up with a new way to spell it, but it rarely was the right way.

She also struggled with writing. She didn't seem to see the need at all for spelling, would randomly scatter capital letters everywhere except where they really ought to be, and completely ignore punctuation. Spacing between words and sentences seemed to be considered optional. We went over the rules many times, but nothing seemed to stick.

Another thing I noticed about her was that she could do math, but she couldn’t seem to memorize math facts. I tried everything with her. We tried the Flashmaster, multiplication songs, addition songs, Times Tales, drill worksheets, daily recitation, and more. Nothing worked for more than a few days at a time. This was the same child who easily memorized words to song after song, and could recite large portions of movies after watching them a couple times. I felt sure she was just playing around, and she really could memorize them, she just wasn’t trying hard enough.

Surprise! My Child Has Dyslexia

And, then one day, I happened to be on the Sonlight forums, and I was reading about another child who was just like mine. Could read amazingly well most of the time, but couldn’t spell, couldn’t write well.

And that’s the day that I, with all the knowledge I gained in college and in life, had no clue what dyslexia really was. It was nothing like I had thought it was.

To me, dyslexia was a reading disorder, very uncommon, and pretty easy to spot. I was wrong. Here are some common misconceptions about dyslexia.

Myth 1: Dyslexia is Rare

It’s estimated that 10-20% of people have dyslexia, so we can hardly call it rare. It’s also estimated that out of all the adults with dyslexia, 95% of them are not diagnosed. Often they were told they had troubles reading, writing, or spelling in childhood and they simply weren’t intelligent in those areas. Many were able to compensate well enough that it never became a huge issue. But, it is much more common than most people realize.

Myth 2: Dyslexia is a Sign of Low Intelligence

Because people with dyslexia often struggle to read and write as accurately and as quickly as those without, they often are left feeling inadequate about their intelligence. Often, they are placed in special education programs in school, with remedial programs that further influence their self-esteem by suggesting they are poor learners.

In fact, dyslexic people do well in the real world:

  • by simply minimizing the amount of reading they need to do daily
  • by choosing careers where they shine in other areas
  • by working harder to overcome the necessary reading requirements of their jobs

Dyslexia doesn’t affect intelligence at all, except in cases where a child with dyslexia might convince themselves they are less intelligent because of the struggles.

Myth 3: Dyslexia is a Reading Disorder

It’s not. Many people with dyslexia can read, and many can read well. You cannot tell whether or not a child has dyslexia by measuring how old they were when they started reading, or how well they can read at grade level. You can’t even measure it by how well they read above grade level. Yes, some children with dyslexia struggle with basic reading skills, but many others don’t.

Myth 4: Dyslexia is a Vision Disorder

Eye doctors test for vision issues. However, your child can have a clean bill of health from a reputable optician and still have dyslexia. This is because dyslexia isn’t a problem with a child’s vision. Most children with dyslexia can see things just fine. They have no problems seeing everything in front of them and may have 20/20 vision. Their eyes may work just fine.

Dyslexia is a visual processing disorder. This means that although the eyes have no problems seeing, the brain has a bit of trouble processing what it sees. So, a child might look at the word bird, and although they will clearly see each and every letter, the brain may mix thing around a bit. Their brain may send back the signal that they are seeing brid, drib, or even q7np.  A dyslexic child might be able to identify each and every letter correctly on its own, but when trying to read the word as a whole, he might still struggle to remember how to read, write, and spell a word that might look differently on each glance.

Myth 5: Difficulty Reading is the Only Sign of Dyslexia

Some common signs of dyslexia include, but are not limited to:

  • Difficulty reading
  • Struggles with vocabulary
  • Writing issues
  • Trouble with reading comprehension or standardized testing due to filling out the wrong circles, not reading small words that change the meaning of a sentence such as not, if, or, and, but, and others.
  • Struggles with expressing what they are thinking through writing
  • Difficulty remembering letter formation
  • Remembering the sequence of letters in a word or words in a sentence
  • Inability to recall correct spelling of words, despite studying the words
  • Large gaps between what they can read and what they can write
  • Frequently skipping words or substituting words for words that either look similar or have the same meaning
  • Struggles to remember math facts, or struggles with math in general
  • Difficulty telling left from right
  • Trouble with spatial recognition, cardinal directions, or sequencing
  • Poor focus and attention when reading and writing, often leading to small power struggles
  • Motor coordination struggles
  • Issues with depth perception
  • Trouble with time orientation

Myth 6: There is Only One Type of Dyslexia

This was perhaps the one area my university degree failed to teach. Not all dyslexics look the same because not all have the same degree or type of dyslexia.

Not only do some people have dyslexia, some may have other issues related to dyslexia without the actual dyslexia, like dysgraphia (struggles with writing) and dyscalculia (trouble with math, which is actually not considered an official form of dyslexia by some experts, but a different type of disorder).

But, apart from those related difficulties, there are different forms of dyslexia within dyslexia itself, and each looks a little differently from the rest. There are 4 widely accepted types of dyslexia, and they often overlap. One child may have 1 type, whereas another child may have 3 or 4 types.

  • Phonological Dyslexia This is what most people think of when they hear dyslexia. This type of dyslexic has difficulty breaking down individual sounds and turning them into letters or symbols. They also struggle with turning letters and symbols into words.
  • Surface Dyslexia These children might not struggle on words that can be sounded out, but struggle with words that don’t follow spelling rules. We often refer to these as sight words. Words like eighteen or conscience will be big struggles because they can’t decode them, and they can’t read them as a whole.
  • Rapid Naming Deficit These children can’t look at a letter and immediately tell you the name or sound of the letter. They can’t look at a word and tell you what the word is right away. The likely cause is a processing delay, so the child must stop and think about each letter and sound individually, greatly slowing down their reading speed.
  • Visual Dyslexia This overlaps quite a bit with type 1, but it also refers to those children who have tracking issues or trouble with eye coordination and seem to struggle with following the lines of sentences. You’ll see a child skip over words or skip entire lines while reading without noticing. This type is not always accepted as its own form, but there is rising evidence to support its validity.

Myth 7: Dyslexia is Always Noticeable

This was my biggest assumption with dyslexia. I figured that if anyone should be able to recognize dyslexia, it would be me, with my education and experience. However, some experts have identified a type of dyslexia that might be any combination of the above, but with one extra key distinction.

The type of dyslexia is called Stealth Dyslexia.

Usually, but not always, this type of dyslexia is common in children with IQs above average and in those who have learned coping techniques to hide the signs. They are often able to overcome issues without any help until they reach an area where they simply can’t.

These children are usually dismissed as having dyslexia at a young age because they often can read, spell, and write, but as time goes on, and reading and writing get harder and harder, they have more and more trouble coping. Somewhere between ages 8-12, they start to fall behind.

Because parents have seen their child doing just fine in lower grades, and teachers see the grades in the previous years were good, it’s very easy to assume the child isn’t trying hard enough or is playing games. Often, the child will become more and more resistant to doing work they had previously done with few complaints instead of sharing what their struggles are. This often leads to a downward cycle in which the parents and teachers try to motivate the child to previous standards of excellence, and the child fights more and more as they realize they are unable to keep up.

These are the children I often get asked about. The ones who “learned to read at age 5, but now at 10, refuse to write and their writing looks like a first grader did it.” Children who have “always been a bit behind in spelling, but it’s just getting worse.” Children who “went to the eye doctor, but they didn’t say anything about having dyslexia.”

The children who have this type of dyslexia are usually able to hide it very well, until they can’t. Usually, this hits about third grade or so, when workload increases faster than compensation abilities.

If your child happens to be one of those who seems to be right on the border, and are raising some red flags, it might be worth having them tested.  Your child's doctor (or a medical professional) can test and diagnose dyslexia.

If your child is struggling with learning, we are here to help.

Sonlight has homeschool consultants available to encourage and offer sound advice about how to use the curriculum. Click here to schedule an appointment.

(Please note: our advisors are not medical professionals. See your doctor for diagnosis.)

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How Homeschool Electives are a Blessing Not a Burden

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How Homeschool Electives are a Blessing Not a Burden

When it comes to offering your children electives, do you ever ask yourself:

Adding electives might seem like an added stressor to your already busy day. As moms, we sometimes feel spread too thin. Between our families and household tasks, it can be difficult to add extracurricular activities to our list. If your days are anything like mine were, you experience a few hours of schooling and then have to tackle household chores, leaving children a generous amount of time to create, play and explore. In my house, we all adored that part of the day. Over time, however, I found that guiding some of that time through electives had a positive impact on our day-to-day, and in the long run, on my children’s lives.

As parents, we want to send our children out into the world as well-rounded people, and a suitable elective just might provide the practical life skills your children need to understand the world and themselves.

All of my children took electives and flourished in their own way. I am still in awe of all of their God-given creative talents. I could tell you many stories I’ve collected over the years; however, here are just two examples that come to mind.

Artistic Electives

One of my daughters expressed an interest in art. As someone who can only draw stick figures, art wasn’t on my radar. But something inside me knew I needed to encourage her artistic expression. So I urged her to take an art class. When she came home all aglow with the experience, and when John and I saw how unbelievably creative she was, I encouraged her to take as many art classes as she could while she had the opportunity. Several months later, I had the opportunity to speak with one of her art teachers. The teacher said, “If I have a student with a lot of natural ability and another student who works hard, I always prefer the student who works hard. Your daughter has both.” She ended up in art school, pursuing one of the wide varieties of art majors available.

One of my sons begged for a hand-held video camera (before cell phones had cameras). We got him one so he could create movies. He went on to film school. Now, as an adult, he produces films for fun and profit. I’m so grateful I encouraged them to explore these life passions.

Fun, Practical, and Scientific Electives

We studied many additional electives through the years and found some ways to incorporate electives into non-school time. During the afternoons, my children would listen to classical music while building with LEGOs. These recordings gave the kids a welcomed introduction to music they wouldn’t otherwise hear. We always did puzzles together as a family. I liked to pick puzzles like The Global Puzzle because they helped the children learn geography in a painless way. We would discover where the countries in Africa, Asia, and Europe are, and use the time to talk and learn.

All my children took typing instruction, and this life skill has served them well. If I were teaching today, I would have all my children study computer programming—at least at a basic level—as I believe, like typing, it is a fundamental skill in today’s job market.

Even if you are not musical, artistic, or gifted in languages, you might have a child who is. You won't know until you give them a chance to explore these areas and see where they shine. If I’ve stimulated your imagination, please feel free to check out our carefully chosen electives.

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