Sonlight Homeschooling Blog

May. 2, 2021

Helping Third Culture Kids Understand Home: Books that Speak to the Expat Child

Third culture kids (TCKs) are a fascinating group of individuals who can identify with parts of several cultures, but never feel fully at home in any of them. These are very often missionary kids (MKs) or military kids. While their passports may label them as Americans or Canadians, they may feel more like Brazilians or Cambodians.

The question, “Where are you from?” can be one of the most difficult questions for them to answer.

The Problem of Home

“Are you glad to be home?” a friend asked my 3-year-old shortly after we returned to the United States for a visit. My daughter gave me a confused look, and I could see her thinking, “What is this guy talking about? This isn’t my home!”

The concept of home will always be a challenging one for TCKs. My children are American citizens, but the older ones were born in India. My oldest daughter felt particularly attached to India, and it annoyed her that she was not an Indian citizen. Once when she was about five, an Indian man asked her where she was from. My redheaded, freckle-faced girl looked up at him and replied firmly, “India.” When my family visits the States, we joke that our minivan is our home.

Now that my children are older, they have developed their own standard answers to the question “Where are you from?” but even as they are giving their rote answers, I can see in their eyes that there is much below the surface that is hard to express and even harder for mono-cultural people to understand.

I have found that my kids, and other third culture kids I know (including my 70-year-old TCK father-in-law) really come alive when they are with other TCKs. They are with people whose lives and experiences may be vastly different from their own, but who share the commonality of living between worlds. There is something life giving about spending time with people you understand well and who understand you. It can give you a feeling of home.

How Books Have Helped My Children Understand Home

Sarita often talks about the importance of stories, and it was while going through HBL E with my oldest that I realized what an impact books could have for TCKs. Our family was going through a major transition at the time as we were grieving the loss of one country while preparing to move to another. Then we read In the Year of the Boar and Jackie Robinson. Though the main character in the story had a very different life and situation from ours, my daughter could strongly identify with the fact of leaving the place that had been home and learning to adjust to a completely different culture and situation.

A year later we read Homesick and cried as Jean Fritz and her family were forced to leave the place she had thought of as home. Even books like Daughter of the Mountains and The Witch of Blackbird Pond have become special favorites of my TCK family because the characters learn to adapt to and thrive in cultures different from their own.

I love watching my children enjoy these books and identify with the characters who are adjusting to different cultures, dealing with both humorous and frustrating cultural situations. Through these books, we understand that living life between two worlds, while not always easy, is a privilege that holds a great deal of joy.

It is easy to think we are alone in our situations, and TCKs can feel that more than most. However identifying with these characters has brought a sense of comfort and peace to my children as they see that they are not the only ones dealing with these issues. These books have also given them a better understanding of who they are as Third Culture Kids. While they may never feel fully at home in any particular country, they can appreciate the culture in which they currently live as well as the unique culture they possess as TCKs.

Books that Speak to Third Culture Kids

Throughout our years of homeschooling with Sonlight we have come across multiple books that speak to Third Culture Kids. Here are several to add to those mentioned above:

Heartwood Hotel (HBL K) – A transitory mouse finds a place that just might become home.
The Cricket in Times Square – (HBL C) – A gentle introduction to crossing cultures with the adventures of a country cricket who adjusts to life in New York City.
Sarah, Plain and Tall (HBL D) – A mail order bride must learn to thrive in a new culture when she moves from Maine to Kansas.
The Year of the Dog (HBL F) – A Chinese American girl learns to reconcile the culture of her family with that of those around her.
Habibi (HBL F) – A girl moves with her family to a new country and culture and must learn to understand and accept it.
Born in the Year of Courage (HBL F) – A Japanese boy unexpectedly finds himself in America and must learn to adapt.
It’s A Jungle Out There! (HBL H) – An American missionary kid tells stories of growing up in the Amazon.
Dragon’s Gate (History 120) – A Chinese boy is sent to America to work on the railroad.
My Heart Lies South (Lit. 130) – An American woman moves to Mexico, marries a Mexican, and must adjust to the culture, language, and way of life of her new family.
They Loved to Laugh (Lit. 130) – An orphaned girl moves in with her Quaker family and finds an entirely new culture within the same country.
Indian Captive (Lit. 130) – An girl learns to understand and appreciate the culture of her captors.
Stink Alley (Lit. 130) – A young orphan is adopted by the Puritans in Holland and must learn to fit in to the Puritan culture.
Children of the River (Lit. 330) – A teen girl in a Cambodian refugee family tries to become an American teenager while struggling to follow the expected traditions of her family’s culture.

A Better Country for Christians

In Sarah, Plain and Tall, Sarah has been missing her old home in Maine and tells her future husband Jacob that “there’s always something to miss, wherever you are.”

TCKs live between worlds, and no matter where they are, there will always be something and someone to miss.

This can be difficult, but it can also be a great opportunity for us as parents to point them to Christ and remind them that this world truly is not our home. For those who are believers in Christ, we know that our longing is for “a better country, that is, a heavenly one” (Hebrews 11:16 ESV).

The apostles Paul and Peter remind us that we are “aliens and strangers” on this earth as our citizenship is in heaven (1 Peter 2:11, Philippians 3:20). Our TCKs can take comfort in the fact that while they may never feel truly at home anywhere on this earth, they have an eternal Home in heaven where there will be no more painful goodbyes and where they will be fully, truly at home.

Until that time, TCKs need to know how to live in this world in a way that honors God. They have a unique understanding of the world that other people don’t have. How can God use that in their lives for His glory?

Missionary Biographies

Missionary biographies can be a great example to TCKs of what God is doing around the world in and through His people who are willing to cross cultural boundaries for the sake of His name. As they see the eternal work that others have done, they will have a better perspective on eternity. This can give them a clearer vision for their own lives, and it can also help TCKs who are missionary kids better understand what their families do and why.

“Therefore, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us also lay aside every weight, and sin which clings so closely, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, looking to Jesus, the founder and perfecter of our faith” (Hebrews 12:1-2a).

Stories from Africa – (PreK) – Stories of God’s faithfulness to His people in Africa
The Good News Must Go Out (HBL A) – Stories of God at work in Central African Republic
Return of the White Book (HBL A)– Stories of God at work in Southeast Asia
Catching Their Talk in a Box – (HBL B) – The Story of a missionary lady who makes gospel recordings for people to use the world over
George Muller (HBL B) – The story of a man of prayer who ran orphanages in England supported solely by prayer
And the Word Came with Power (HBL C) – The story of Bible translators in a remote village
Gladys Aylward (HBL C) – The story of a single missionary to China during the Soviet-Chinese war
With Two Hands (HBL C) – Stories of God at work in Ethiopia
Adoniram Judson (HBL D) – The story of one of the first missionaries to modern-day Myanmar who completed a Bible translation that is still in use today
Bruchko (HBL E) – The story of a young man who traveled to South America as a missionary without support
William Carey: Obliged to Go (HBL F) – The story of “The Father of Modern Missions” who did church planting and Bible translation in India
God’s Adventurer: Hudson Taylor (HBL F) – The story of an English missionary to China who went against the flow
Mary Slessor: Forward into Calabar (HBL F) – The story of a poor mill worker turned pioneer missionary in Africa
God’s Smuggler (HBL H) – The story of Brother Andrew who risked his life to take the Bible around the world
Cameron Townsend: Good News in Every Langauge (History 120) – The story of the founder of Wycliffe Bible Translators
Peace Child (Lit. 130) – The story of how God prepared a cannibal culture of Iran Jaya to receive the Gospel of Christ
Living on the Devil’s Doorstep (History 320) The story of a pastor’s son who becomes a missionary to the black sheep of society in Afghanistan and Holland.
There’s a Sheep in my Bathtub (History 320) – The story of an American family church planting among unreached people in Outer Mongolia
Eternity in their Hearts (Lit. 430) – Stories of how God worked to prepare peoples’ hearts for the gospel before missionaries arrived
Evidence Not Seen (Lit. 430) – The story of a single missionary’s faith, courage and survival in New Guinea during World War II
The Insanity of God (Lit. 530) – The story of missionaries who went through a crisis of faith and decided to learn from the stories of other believers around the world

GET STARTED

Tagged biographies, books, missionaries, reading, third culture kids | Leave a comment

Apr. 26, 2021

Sonlight Science: Literature-based, Hands-on, & STEM-integrated

By Sonlight

Sonlight Science: Literature-based, Hands-on, and STEM-integrated

As part of the new product releases of 2021, Sonlight Science has been revamped! Taking a hint from national science standards, the product development team has enriched the existing Sonlight Science and made it more robust. This new Science still has the same literature-rich foundation that all Sonlight programs have, but now the week's experiment ties directly to what's being studied for the week. You still have an experiment book, a supply kit, Activity Sheets, and an Instructor's Guide which lays everything out for you.

Sonlight Science Is Literature-based

As part of the revamping process, the product development team went through each of the books used in Sonlight Science to make sure they are the best books on the subject. They replaced out-of-date titles and added new ones, always making sure the titles are age-appropriate books with great illustrations and easy-to-understand explanations just like you've always come to expect from Sonlight.

You'll see old favorites like The Magic School Bus. And you'll see a lot of new books about inventors and engineering. Just as before, each level still has a science biography. These books teach you about a scientist's work, how they came to their discoveries, and the mistakes that they made along their scientific journey. For example, Level C includes a new biography of Nikola Tesla.

Sonlight Science Is Hands-on

For 2021, Sonlight Science takes a new approach with the weekly experiments. We've always had an engaging combination of reading about science and then experiencing science at home with an activity. But the program didn't always tie the weekly activity directly to that week's reading passages.

Now everything is clearly connected so the activity you do each week correlates with the books you read.

Just like before, Sonlight Science provides the materials and clear directions you need to do the activities. You simply gather the materials you need and walk through the instructions. You'll have a no-stress, successful experience with your kids.

Sonlight Science Is STEM-integrated

Also brand new for 2021 is the STEM integration. The product development team incorporated the Next Generation Science Standards' emphasis on thinking like an engineer into the curriculum.

The programs guide students to define a problem and then come up ways to provide a solution. Children will test their possible solutions, make improvements, and really learn how to think like a scientist as they use science for practical applications.

Kids love this approach because they can take the reins and explore. It's a modern approach that builds on a child's natural curiosity, encouraging them to make guesses, take things apart, try different approaches, and observe results.

This ability to think scientifically is a skill that teens will need both in college and/or in the workforce. In fact, every adult needs these skills!

Watch the Video Introduction to New Sonlight Science

For a more in-depth discussion, play the video below. It also includes an experiment demonstration at the end.

A Typical Week of Sonlight Science

The first three days of a week, you'll be reading books with your child. Your Instructor's Guide includes lots of notes that point out concepts and vocabulary words to discuss and tells you any household supplies you'll need for day four (that aren't already included in your supply kit).

Day four is your experiment day. On this day, you generally don't have a reading passage. Instead you work through your activity. Children who are in fourth grade or up may be able to do the experiment on their own! The directions are clearly explained.

The fifth day is your day to read from high interest books about inventions or engineering.

SEE SCIENCE

Tagged curriculum, experiments, science, Sonlight | 1 Comment

Apr. 26, 2021

My Journey from Public School Booster to Homeschooler

By Denise Dahm

Like so many parents, my husband and I entered the 2020-2021 school year full of concerns about educating our children. As graduates of the public education system, we prioritized living in a neighborhood within an excellent school district. We both worked full-time to afford our modest home with its access to public schools, rated among the best in our state. We also felt that the best thing we could do for our children was to earn enough money to support their extracurricular interests and to save money for their future college expenses.

After the birth of my first child 7 years ago, I scaled back and continued working part-time after the birth of our daughter two years later. Juggling the competing demands of work and home was not easy for me, and I ended up feeling as though I was failing as a mom and as a colleague. I also believed that I lacked the patience and self-discipline needed to fulfill the role of a stay-at-home mom. Thus I decided that my best use as a parent might well be as a wage earner alongside my husband. I returned to work 75% time, which allowed me three afternoons a week to spend with my son and daughter.

As our children settled into remote learning last spring and my husband and I tried to adjust to working from home, we soon realized what a challenge this was going to be for all of us. My six-year-old sat day after day in front of his iPad, eyes glazed over as his teacher did her level best to engage with 22 kindergarteners via Zoom. My four-year-old flatly refused to participate in any of the virtual learning presented by her preschool. All in all, it was a subpar educational experience.

We spent a good portion of the summer debating educational options after watching our children attempt and fail at remote learning throughout the spring. We discussed virtual public school, in person private or charter school, and simply keeping our fingers crossed that the public health situation would improve and allow our children to return to their classrooms soon.

During one conversation with a friend about our plans, she mentioned she was considering homeschooling her son. Wow! Homeschooling was not on our radar! After all, we both worked nearly full-time, and so much of our planning and preparation for raising our children had centered around providing them with the best educational opportunities available…outside our home. I’ll admit that my first thought was, “Well, homeschooling might be an option for you, but we could never make that work.”

Diving Wholeheartedly into Homeschooling

Maybe you’ve heard that saying: We plan; God laughs.

I found myself reading more about home education: the various educational philosophies, curriculum options, reviews, and so on. I quickly fell down the rabbit hole of the internet and became overwhelmed with the myriad options and opinions out there.

Fortunately, I discovered a review of Sonlight curriculum early in my research and I began looking through the catalog. When I saw many of my favorite childhood reads listed in the programs, I knew I had found my people!

My all-time favorite activity to enjoy with my children is reading aloud. I also wanted to provide more religious education to my children, so I appreciated that each level included a full Bible curriculum. Sonlight seemed to be the perfect fit for our family!

We took the plunge and ordered HBL K to delve into American history and literature with my 4- and 6-year-old, along with LA and math programs recommended by Sonlight for my son. I continued working nearly full-time, and we relied on our nanny to teach much of the curriculum this year.

The Many Benefits of Homeschooling

My children have certainly enjoyed their year of education at home. They complete their academic work within 1-2 hours a day, and I don’t think it’s dawned on them yet that our read-alouds and history readings are part of school! They have enjoyed having plenty of free time for outdoor play and my son has really flourished with Sonlight’s approach to phonics and reading.

More importantly, I have relished the few opportunities I’ve had to teach them. Being present to witness their wonder and curiosity as we learn together has been an amazing blessing to come from this year. During our afternoons together, we have taken nature walks, discovered new properties of light and water through science experiments, and spent a lot of time reading outside under a tree munching on their favorite snack, popcorn!

Over the last few months as the world around us seemed to be moving toward more normal operations, my husband and I began discussing our plans for next school year. I realized that God had been working on my heart this entire year to reconsider our priorities and plans for our family. Since beginning this process, I have read so much about the challenges facing our public schools, and the rewards that can come from educating children at home.

I have heard and meditated on the wisdom of so many moms before me who pointed out that few of us are born with the patience required to shepherd young children day in and day out! I realized that I craved more time with my children to watch them investigate the world around them, and time to strengthen our relationships with each other. As we celebrated birthdays throughout the year, I acknowledged how quickly time is passing and that my little ones are growing up right before our eyes. I came to believe that maybe, with God’s help, I might be able to do this thing for real.

Planning for Next School Year

Next school year, do I really want to go back to getting just the leftovers of my son's time and energy? My son had just 7 months in public school, but I remember how tired he was at the end of each day, and how we had at most an hour or two of time together before supper and bedtime.

I question the wisdom of working hard each day to pay someone else to raise our kids. In my profession as a doctor, I might be essential, but I am not irreplaceable—there are many capable people who can do my job. Yet my children have only one mother.

Thus began many rounds of discussion and prayer with my husband. Could we make the changes necessary to allow me more time at home to teach our children? Would these sacrifices be worth it in the end, many years down the road? Did we really believe that we could provide a superior education? Would my employer even be open to reducing my time commitment at work? What about our children? Would they miss seeing friends at school?

My husband was initially wary of prolonging our homeschooling experiment. He had several concerns about how home education would affect our finances, our marriage, and our children. We debated and discussed, crunched numbers, and reviewed various scenarios. I believe it was God’s hand that allowed me to remain open-minded during these talks. I resisted the temptation to bombard my husband with facts and figures, proving the benefits of homeschooling. After all, as recently as a year ago I had never even considered the possibility of homeschooling. Now I was asking my husband and my children to go all in on a completely different way of life!

The Verdict Is Still Out

I had to admit that our children might very well do just fine in our local public school. We had no evidence thus far that they were struggling in the traditional classroom setting. I was making quite a big ask of my family! As much as I want my husband to consider the benefits of homeschooling, I need to think about any potential benefits of working full-time and enrolling both of our children in the excellent public schools we carefully sought out so many years ago.

We have yet to make our final decision, so as much as I’d love to end this article with a big pronouncement that we are homeschoolers for life, I can’t quite say that just yet! I’ve continued to read, listen, and pray about this decision for our family. I might have even purchased some materials already, just in case!

No matter what path we ultimately choose, I believe that God will lead us down the right path for our family. I am so grateful for this year with Sonlight that has opened my eyes to a completely different way to educate our children and prepare them for the life God has planned for them.

LEARN HOW

Tagged covid, new homeschooler, newbie, why homeschool | Leave a comment

Apr. 21, 2021

Book-ending Our Homeschool Days: The Legacy of Sharing Great Literature

By Karen Koch

I texted my 22-year-old son, Mason, “Hey, I just taught Miller about banned words.” Mason, like his younger brother Miller, found this same banned words lesson useful when he was a struggling writer at 12. He texted back “NOGI,” which is code in our house for “Not of General Interest.”

It made me laugh. His response may sound disrespectful, but in our house, it’s an inside joke gleaned from several Read-Alouds of Cheaper by the Dozen over the years with our four children. The father in the book insists that all dinner conversation must be educational and of general interest. One night he declares that he’s going to teach them all how to multiply large numbers using square roots. One child blurts out, “Not of general interest.”

Cheaper is one of our family favorites, and this retort is now a permanent part of our family phraseology, particularly because I tend to think everything must be educational.

When I first selected Sonlight curriculum for our homeschool 20 years ago, I did so primarily because of all the amazing books featured in the catalog. I wish I could be paid to read all day, so one of my life goals was to make my children into readers. At the beginning, I never could have imagined how the reading aloud would make an impact, not just to educate everyone, but to bond us together.

Sharing Stories Brings Family Connection

We have grown together in our love of books and language, but also have a high level of family connection through shared stories. In retrospect, reading aloud has been the central most important aspect of our homeschooling.

Our four children are spread out over 12 years, and one way to keep homeschool centered and on track each day was to require everyone to listen to the day’s Bible reading and current Read-Aloud most mornings and evenings, including weekends, even if it wasn’t from their current History / Bible / Literature level. This created a quite literal bookend and anchor to each day.

We included Read-Alouds at more than one level, and when a child was struggling to keep up in Readers, I would throw one of those in as a Read-Aloud as well. We also continued in the summer evenings, picking up extra stories as Sonlight changed selections or other books I wanted to share. My kids have requested re-reads or continuations of many Sonlight favorites:

the Rani Jungle series
the Little Britches series
the Shakespeare Stealer series
the entire Lord of the Rings trilogy after reading The Hobbit

I have read The Sherwood Ring aloud at least six times.

There have been times of family crisis when just about the only thing we accomplished was Read-Alouds. I believe our reading habit kept us sane and intact during difficult times involving moving, a new baby, my mother’s death, and several miscarriages. Reading aloud continued to serve as an anchor and a shared story to look forward to each day. One time we read until 10 p.m. because the boys just had to know how The Hobbit ended.

By about age 16-17, my children gradually excused themselves from reading time as they were increasingly busy with jobs, activities, and college classes. Most mornings and evenings will find me reading just with Miller these days, but I am grateful that he possesses most of the same shared stories with his older siblings.

Our Life, Impacted by Sharing Great Literature

Aside from the regular NOGI comments and other book quotes, we have named our home Rest-and-be-thankful after the ancestral home in The Sherwood Ring, and will randomly make references to Young-Fu, Gladys Aylward, Little Britches, Johnny Tremain, Tom Sawyer, Nathaniel Bowditch, Brother Andrew, Bilbo, Daniel in The Bronze Bow, Prince Brat from The Whipping Boy and dozens of other favorite characters who come up in conversation.

One time years ago when having trouble keeping up with my sons while walking, I asked them to slow down. One turned around and quipped, “Mom, we can’t walk as slowly as you can,” adapting a favorite line from a Rani Jungle story.

If you have little ones, know that all the reading aloud will reap tremendous rewards. Don’t give up.

I know when they are little and their attention span is less-than-ideal, it is hard. I thought I would lose my mind trying to get through Johnny Tremain aloud the first time with my two very little boys all those years ago. It gets easier, and their attention span will improve.
I know you think they aren’t paying attention, and sometimes they aren’t, but they will surprise you when you least expect it and connect the dots while reading something else.
Audio books count!
Reading aloud removes barriers. Kids can enjoy the story without the struggle to read on their own. One of my late readers would read the books alone after we finished them together.
Children can understand books read aloud several grades higher than they could tackle on their own because you are there to explain.
Our daughter (18) says reading aloud is her top favorite childhood memory.
Our four kids have truly impressive vocabularies and grasp of the English language.

My life has been a success. No one is handing out medals for my accomplishment, but I am content that I have taught four children to read and shared the love books with them.

TRY SONLIGHT FREE

Tagged family culture, Homeschooling, reading, reading aloud | Leave a comment

Apr. 19, 2021

Starting as a New Homeschooler: Two Key Guideposts

By April Jones

“Homeschool? You must be crazy.”

I fired back those words at my husband as he gently suggested we homeschool our soon-to-be-kindergartener. We had just moved; I was pregnant with our second daughter. I frantically searched for reasons why we shouldn’t homeschool, but frankly, I just never planned for it. I grew up in public schools and thought that was what we would do with our family. I questioned how I could teach my daughter at home, and how she would ever get the interaction she needed with her peers. However, my husband’s reasoning did make some sense. The local school was half an hour away, and with a newborn baby, the transportation and waiting in school lines could be difficult. Being at home with my daughters could provide flexibility in our schedule. So the seed was planted.

As I continued to visit public and charter schools around us and research our options, I also began to pray. Opening my heart to God’s direction for how we should educate our daughter was the turning point for me. The Holy Spirit began to gently show me that homeschooling our daughter was the direction He was leading us. I saw in His Word that we parents are called to train our children.

I laid aside all my preconceived ideas and fears about homeschooling, and surrendered to God’s direction for our family.

So, with a decision about schooling made, I now began the monumental task of knowing where in the world to start. I talked to every homeschool mom I knew. I spent hours online researching curriculum options. I went to a homeschool conference.

Out of my extensive searching came two very valuable pieces of advice:

Know your why.
Limit your curriculum search.

Fortunately, this advice stopped me from going down the rabbit hole of never-ending choices and complete frustration my first year of homeschooling.

1. Know Your Why

Having a vision for your child’s education is probably the single most important piece of advice for new homeschoolers. Your vision will get you excited about starting your homeschooling journey. And it will carry you through those days when you are ready to quit…when you are ready to march your child up to the public school doors and say “Take her!” (I know I’m not the only one who’s had that daydream.)

So, why are you considering homeschooling? And I don’t mean just the reasons that make life a little more flexible and convenient. Sure, for me, it was more convenient to keep my kindergartener home. That meant less time on the road and not having to wait in school lines with a newborn baby. That also meant not having to struggle getting everyone dressed and out the door every morning. We know how difficult the morning chaos can be when it’s time to go somewhere.

Those are nice reasons, but those will not carry you through those really rough days.

As I searched my heart, and asked God to show me why He wanted our family to homeschool, I realized He had given me the amazing privilege to train my daughter. I could spend those precious hours with her at home not only educating her, but also sharing God’s love with her. It is a calling and a privilege to homeschool my child.

Ask God to show you your vision for your child’s education. His direction will guide and keep you during those difficult days.

2. Limit Your Curriculum Search

Continually researching curriculum options can lead to feeling overwhelmed. I talked to so many moms about what curriculum they were using. Everyone seemed to be doing something different, and most had pieced together different curriculums for each subject based on their preferences.

I was intimidated by all the choices. How could I ensure I chose the best curriculum for my daughter?

Fortunately, in the midst of my search, a wise friend advised me not to obsess over all the different curriculum choices in the vendor hall at an upcoming homeschool conference. At the time, her advice seemed odd to me. How could I choose a program without looking at all the choices? However, as she was much further along in her homeschooling journey, I decided to listen. Now, I realize how much sense she made. While I did get to see some curriculum at the convention, I didn’t spend hours panicking over the choices. I focused instead on attending sessions that encouraged and motivated me on getting started as a homeschooler. Just hearing stories of generations of homeschoolers was the fuel I needed to ignite my own vision. Instead of being discouraged by all the options and not knowing where to start, I came away refreshed, renewed, and energized.

As I finally made my decision on what curriculum to use, I asked these three main questions.

Did it have a Christian viewpoint?
Did it have a plan I could follow?
Were all the books and materials I needed included?

I remembered seeing Sonlight at a friend’s house. It checked all of those boxes; plus it included so many wonderful books. My daughter and I already loved to read together. The peace of mind in knowing that I would have all the materials I needed and a plan to follow was invaluable to me in starting our homeschooling journey. I didn’t have to spend hours planning and piecing together materials. Everything was already put together for me.

So, I chose Sonlight and stopped looking. I had a plan in place to get going on the vision God had given me for teaching my daughter. And looking back on that first year, I’m so glad we chose Sonlight. We learned so many lessons about the world around us from God’s viewpoint, and the literature set a solid foundation for her language and reading skills.

Homeschooling is a journey. Let’s start the journey with joy, peace, and excitement about how God is using this time in our lives. On my journey, there are still days when it’s hard, when I feel like giving up. But I choose to keep going. I remember my why, rest in Him, and see God’s process. Homeschooling is refining me as much as it is refining my children. And ultimately, God has entrusted to us the privilege of training our children.

GET STARTED

Tagged getting started, Homeschooling, newbie | Leave a comment

Apr. 16, 2021

But I Don’t Have the Patience to Homeschool

By Denise Dahm

This retort was my mental refrain anytime I encountered someone who homeschooled their children: I don't have the patience to homeschool. I loved the idea of homeschooling, but just knew that I lacked the tolerance to spend all day, every day shepherding my young children through reading, writing, and arithmetic.

Enter COVID. Like so many others, we decided to try homeschooling after a failed attempt at virtual learning last spring. I knew in my heart that home education might be the best option for our family, but I wondered how I would juggle teaching and parenting without losing my cool daily. I figured that patience was a virtue. Some are born with it, and some…well, some of us are not.

We have certainly had our ups and downs this year, and I have relied heavily on the wisdom of other homeschooling moms who shared their experience so feely. What I’ve heard over and over is that very few of them felt naturally endowed with an excess of patience and tolerance. Instead, they embraced homeschooling as an opportunity to develop patience, all in the service of strengthening their relationship with their children.

So, how did they do it? Here is a breakdown of five practical tips I’ve picked up over the last few months for cultivating patience and diffusing tension during the homeschool day.

1. Start Your Day Over

We all have bad days, and things can snowball out of control rapidly. During a phone conversation with a friend on one of those bad days, she suggested that we all (myself and my children) count to three and start our day over.

Although starting over seemed like a laughably simple solution, it worked!

Now, when I feel myself tensing up, or see my kids getting overwhelmed with frustration, I know what to do:

acknowledge the situation
take a deep breath
count 1—2—3
start the day or the lesson over

2. Relinquish Control

So many times, my tension and irritation originate from clinging too tightly to my agenda for the day. One of the benefits of homeschooling is that we have the freedom to follow learning’s natural ebb and flow, chase down rabbit holes, and focus on the educational opportunities that present themselves.

I have found that when I am able to let go even just a little bit of my bright ideas and follow my children’s lead, it goes a long way toward increasing our peace and joy in learning, and my patience with my children

3. Pray

Although it is a goal of mine to start each day with prayer, it’s also an invaluable tool throughout the day. When agitated, I try to pause and ask God for help in the moment. I ask him to help me do my best and to remind me that my little ones are doing their best, too. This is not novel advice, but for some reason it’s so hard to remember when we’re in the thick of things!

Even a simple prayer will do: “God, please help me to be patient with these little souls in front of me” or “God, please help all of us to do your will today.”

4. Manage Expectations

We call it the witching hour at our house. You might have another colorful name for it. But, each day, around 4:30-5:00 pm the wheels seem to come off the wagon around here. We’ve all had a long day by then, nerves are a bit frayed, and our coping skills are nearly exhausted.

I have come to dread this time of day, steeling myself for tantrums and meltdowns as I try to prepare dinner, help our older boys with schoolwork, and keep my younger ones engaged in some type of activity. I tend to shift quickly into reactive mode, bustling around trying to get this child to quiet down, this one to focus, this one to leave me alone so I can just “do this one thing!”

Not surprisingly, these afternoons often end in tears for at least one of us, sometimes all of us!

Eventually, it dawned on me that I get frustrated and flummoxed every day by something that should be completely expected and predictable.

My children are just doing what children do when they get tired and bored. I can keep snapping and picking at them, which isn’t working too well, or I can accept things as they are and do my part to alleviate our stress.

I started by making time to read aloud in the afternoons, an activity we all enjoy that promotes closeness and camaraderie. After having some dedicated time with me as reader, my young children were much more content with independent playtime while I made dinner or helped our older boys. Whenever possible, I tried to celebrate the little ones’ attempts to help me make dinner by enlisting them in setting the table, folding napkins, or getting out the utensils. Again, it comes back to expectations. It probably wasn’t too realistic of me to expect some quiet time to myself at this time of day. So, instead of shooing everyone out of the kitchen, I now try to involve them in cooking and other simple chores whenever possible. Recalibrating my expectations for this particular part of our day has increased my patience with myself and my family.

5. Practice Self-care

We’ve all heard the spiel on the airplane to first place the oxygen masks on ourselves, and then assist our small children. If I am frazzled, depleted, or stressed out, I will have nothing left to give my children.

As an introvert, I need a bit of quiet time each day. But since I feel guilty scheduling this time or setting boundaries with my children, I never get the time alone I crave. I have thankfully learned from the experience of others that it is perfectly okay to plan a daily quiet time for myself and for my children.

Once I have taken that time to recharge, I am then much better equipped to engage with my children and respond to them in a loving and patient way.

While I don’t put all of these suggestions into practice every day, I am content with progress, not perfection. I have learned that it doesn’t really matter how much patience I have, but rather how much I’m willing ask for more and reach for one of these solutions when I find myself falling short. COVID gave me the push I needed to try homeschooling, and the wisdom of homeschooling moms before me has given me the tools I need to enjoy this journey with my children.

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Tagged Homeschooling, patience | Leave a comment

Apr. 14, 2021

A Reality Check for Your Deepest Homeschool Fears

By Eva Krasova

By now, you know the drill: every once in a while, you read an article, talk to a homeschooling friend, or discover a new educational blog… and pretty soon your head is spinning. Should we do more? Better? Are we doing enough? Are my kids behind?

I get it. You're afraid.

You're afraid your kids won't learn what they need to know to be successful in life. You worry you're not qualified to teach your kids. You fear that one day you might realize that you failed.

Take a deep breath, my friend.

Learning advanced algebra by a specified date doesn't guarantee happiness in life. Following every twist and turn of your curriculum doesn't automatically lead to a fulfilled life or financial stability.

We often have the same unrealistic expectations about homeschooling as we do about life in general: perfection.

All-or-nothing, high standards, focus on the results, pushed by fear all the way. But life (and homeschooling) is never perfect. And it shouldn’t be.

Living Is a Journey of Discovery

This journey isn’t perfect, and it never will be. Do pay attention, though, because each turn of the path requires an adjustment.

Try to stop comparing your journey to someone else’s. Listen to your gut. Remember, your kids are watching you. And if they see you taking chances, tackling new things, correcting, bouncing back from setbacks, growing, and learning, so will they.

They’ll begin to follow their inner voice, developing independent learning skills, self-reliance, and confidence as they go. It’s true, you don't know what's next. But you're not here to control their learning. Your job isn’t to prepare your kids for college. Your kids will prepare themselves for their future. On their own terms.

Let your kids learn to trust their choices, navigate their learning, practice how to get started, and get things done. It won't be perfect. But trust that it will be exactly what they need.

Have comfort in knowing that you and your kids are always learning. You’re learning from books, life, siblings, museums, documentaries, playing games, talking to strangers, as well as the homeschool curriculum you picked.

Slow down. You don’t have to do all the things. Everything. All the time.

Curriculum Is Merely a Guide

Your curriculum is not written to be followed to a tee. It’s not here to control you. It’s here to guide you. Its purpose is to direct your effort but not to hold you prisoner.

Be responsive to the cues your children give you. Observe. Listen. Give it time. Let it grow.

When you lie at night wondering…

Is it okay to work across the schedule instead of up and down each day?
Is it okay to do homeschool in the afternoon, at night, or on weekends?
Is it okay to take a day off?
Is it okay to ...

The answer is almost always yes.

We don’t trust ourselves enough. But you know what?

You’ve Got This. You Can’t Fail.

If you go into homeschooling with the mindset that you can’t fail, then the formative choices you make around the quality and quantity of schooling will be more in tune with the whole range of your kids’ educational needs.

When you begin to feel anxiety about skipping a particular topic or about taking part of the day off, tell yourself some good things: “I’m the best teacher for my children. I trust myself. I’m not alone.”

Fear often comes from deep insecurities. One of the biggest myths around homeschooling is that in order to do it right, we must be qualified. This fear is what keeps us forever discounting what we do have to offer. And we have a lot to offer: love, experience, compassion, safe boundaries, stability, security, nourishment, wisdom, sleepless nights, a shoulder to cry on, cookies, hugs, and a passionate desire for our kids to succeed.

I know for a fact that no matter how tired or busy you are right now, you’ve worked fiercely to make sure your children thrive. Today and every day.

But there is a kind of short-sighted preoccupation that happens on some homeschool days. We fixate on the number of pages, the problems completed, and the pages read. The checklist becomes an all-consuming goal. Before we know it, the seemingly ordinary day is turned into a race to get it done no matter what. The kids are not on board; we lose a sense of perspective.

Breathe in. Breathe out, my friend.

Now think: Is this topic vital for your child’s success in life? Can it be learned later today? Next month? In a year? Can it be learned differently? Is this truly necessary?

How often is great effort dedicated to fitting in something that is not supposed to fit in?

So much brain power channeled into doing something that doesn’t have to be done?

Preparing Children for a Future None of Us Knows

We have some funny ideas about success in life. We sometimes think we can predict future success by the number of math problems or spelling words they complete today.

Really?

The truth is, we don’t know who our children are going to want to be when they grow up: life extension technicians, space travelers, bloggers? We don’t know what they will be passionate about: quantum computing, space tourism, self-driving cars? We don’t have a clue about opportunities that will come up for them or what life will be like in ten, fifteen, twenty years.

When you go to bed worrying: What do my kids need to learn to succeed in life? How can I best prepare them for a grown-up life, know that you’re not supposed to have all the answers. Not right now, and maybe never.

But you can always, in the words of American poet Mary Oliver, “keep some room in your heart for the unimaginable.” And trust that you and your child will figure it out as you go.

Let go of the outcome. Your kids are their own people, in their own path, and they need to find their own way.

It means trial and error, mess, learning opportunities that come out of setbacks, more mess, skipping parts nobody cares about, and developing patience and even appreciation for the times when things don’t come out as you had envisioned them.

Reach Out to an Expert

Getting a good education doesn't have to mean devoting strained and frustrated hours to following every little bit of a particular curriculum. Or sticking to a certain schedule. Or trying to live a particular philosophy.

Homeschooling is all about having the courage to blaze your own path. The choice is yours. You can change things up, skip this, add that. You can learn outside, inside, on the mountain top, or in the soup kitchen.

Most importantly, remember that you are never alone. Mentors, guides, and advisors are always available to help if you are truly questioning yourself. People used to say it takes a village to raise a child. I invite you to be part of the Sonlight village, and we’ll be part of yours.

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Tagged fears, Homeschooling | Leave a comment