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Sep. 29, 2021
8 Tips for Homeschooling TCKs
Shortly before the pandemic, my missionary family was in the States visiting our supporting churches. One Sunday we were driving home from church and my 12-year-old son said, “Are all American kids like that?” There was nothing particularly wrong with the kids and teens at that church, but I had noticed how different they were from my children. My TCKs (third-culture kids) felt very out of place in a culture that was so different from the cultures in which they have been raised.
Earlier in my homeschooling journey I might have been concerned that they didn’t fit in. Now I understand that my job as their mother and teacher is not to make sure that they fit in, but that they love God, love others, know who they are in Christ, and have a well-rounded education.
Their homeschool education should train them to be well-equipped to use their skills, abilities, and knowledge for God’s glory.
Homeschooling TCKs can be a unique challenge, but with a bit of extra thought and planning–and a great deal of prayer–it is absolutely doable!
Here are eight tips I have gleaned from other experienced TCK homeschoolers as well as my own 14 years of living abroad and homeschooling three TCKs.
1. Learn the Local Language, Culture, and History
It is important that your TCKs have the opportunity to learn the language, culture, and history not only of their passport country* but of their host country**.
- Learn from the nationals! The best case scenario would be where your kids are able to learn the language and culture organically from interacting with national friends. Even if this is not possible in your situation, you can usually find a local willing to tutor your children.
- Rosetta Stone language learning software is available in many languages.
- Sonlight’s study of countries in the Eastern Hemisphere is an excellent resource.
*Passport country: the country where you hold citizenship, but not necessarily where you live
**Host country: a country where you are not a citizen but where you live as a guest or foreign worker
2. Encourage Electives in the Community
Are there local sports that your TCK could be involved in for P.E.? Could they take a class in First Aid or learn an indigenous instrument from a national? Your high school TCK may even be able to do an apprenticeship with a tailor, welder, or repair person. Be creative!
3. Celebrate and Study Your Passport Country
Many TCKs have a hard time connecting to their passport country because they have spent so little time there. Make it a point to intentionally study the history of your passport country in your homeschool. Sonlight American History is an excellent resource for American TCKs.
Also help your TCKs learn about and celebrate the holidays of your passport country. My family lives in Cambodia, and our team of missionaries gets together each November for a traditional Thanksgiving dinner and each July 4th for a cookout and games. These get-togethers allow our kids to celebrate these holidays that are unique to the United States with other Americans.
We also read books about the first Thanksgiving, Martin Luther King Jr., etc. Sonlight also has fantastic, Biblically based unit studies for Christmas/Advent and Easter. Understanding and celebrating American holidays even when abroad will help your TCKs feel better connected when they eventually return to their passport country.
4. Get Family and Friends Involved
Having extended family get involved in homeschooling can help your TCKs not feel quite so far away from those they love and miss. Some ideas for this include
- Have a grandparent read read-alouds over a video call.
- Have a family member teach writing or another class that can be taught online.
- Call cousins so they can share with each other what they learned that week.
- Take videos of your TCK reciting poetry, Scripture, or giving oral presentations, and share them with family.
5. Plan Ahead
Since international families rarely have access to libraries or other resources in English, it's necessary to to plan your curriculum a few years in advance. A big reason why I chose Sonlight is so we would have a growing library of living books in English. That choice has served us incredibly well over the years.
6. Keep Continuity
For many TCKs, life is defined by change. While most TCKs learn to handle that with grace, it is still a challenge. We as their parents can help provide some stability by keeping continuity in homeschooling. What might that look like?
Stick with One Curriculum
My children know that wherever they are and whatever transitions they may be going through, school will stay the same. That continuity brings a sense of peace, especially for those TCKs who have a harder time with change.
Homeschool Year-round
This looks different for almost every family, but I have found that it brings a great deal of stability to families that go this route.
7. Help TCKs Develop in All Areas
It can be easy to think that if your TCKs are doing well academically, they are also doing well in other areas, but that is not necessarily true. Luke 2:52 points out that young Jesus “increased in wisdom and in stature and in favor with God and man.” Like Jesus, your TCKs need to grow not only academically, but emotionally, physically, spiritually, and socially.
It can be a challenge for non-TCK parents to know how to help TCKs in these areas, but the books listed below are some great resources for learning to understand and better guide your TCKs in these areas.
Links to these books on Amazon are affiliate links.
- Misunderstood: The impact of growing up overseas in the 21st century
- Between Worlds
- Looming Transitions: Starting and Finishing Well in Cross-Cultural Service
- When Children Grieve: For Adults to Help Children Deal with Death, Divorce, Pet Loss, Moving, and Other Losses
- Hidden in My Heart: A TCK's Journey Through Cultural Transition
- Hiding in the Hallway: Anchoring Yourself as an MK
There are also several novels and biographies that can be beneficial for TCKs listed in this article.
8. Be Deliberate about Socialization
TCKs live life between cultures and naturally gravitate toward others in the same situation. They can be a great help and encouragement to one another. Even if you live hours apart, make it a priority to get together every few months with other TCKs at these kinds of events:
- Co-op events
- Music or speech recitals
- Science fairs or labs
- Birthday and holiday parties
- Field trips to local historical sites
And of course, making friends in your passport country is important as well. By the time my family left the States a few months ago, my son had made connections with other American kids and learned that a lot of American 12-year-olds do enjoy soccer and LEGO bricks like he does, and not all of them are girl-crazy! As my family follows the above tips in our homeschooling journey, my prayer is that both my son and his sisters will continue to grow in their understanding and appreciation of both America and the country in which we serve, and that they will be well-equipped to use their unique skills, abilities, and knowledge for God’s glory.
Connect with other likeminded homeschoolers wherever you are! Get the Sonlight app.
Tagged Homeschooling, missionaries, tck, tips
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Sep. 23, 2021
Homeschool Graduation Requirements: What Do You Need to Graduate?
Deciding to homeschool through high school is a great choice. However, it can be confusing thinking about high school homeschool graduation requirements. What do you need to graduate? How do you graduate if you’re homeschooled? Do homeschoolers get a diploma?
Keep in mind that each state has its own specific graduation requirements, but there is also general knowledge helpful for homeschool parents and potential graduates.
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Sep. 22, 2021
One Sonlight HBL with Multiple Kids: Sharing the Readers
Combining multiple children into the same History / Bible / Literature (HBL) level can be a major time, money, and brain saver for a homeschool parent, but there are a few logistics to figure out. One is how to handle the Readers.
An HBL has two kinds of books: Read-Alouds that the parent reads to the children and Readers that are designed for children to read independently. When combining multiple children in one HBL, it’s easy to read Read-Alouds to the entire group, but Readers are a bit more complicated.
It is important to note that in HBL levels K, A, B, and C, the Readers are based on reading level. It is best if you place your child in the appropriate level based on reading skill, so you may have different readers because of this. Here you can give your child the reading assessment to find the appropriate see what reader level is best for your child.
Because I have three children in the same HBL using the same level of Readers, I have tried all of the following strategies.
1. Share Readers by Taking Turns or Creative Scheduling
Sharing Readers could be handled several different ways. Your children could alternate reading one paragraph out loud. By passing the book back and forth, they can share the book in real time.
Unfortunately, my kids cannot share a Reader simultaneously because they have different reading speeds and become frustrated. Instead, we use a Reader rotation that staggers reading time throughout the day.
My children work on each subject for about 20-30 minutes or until it is completed. If one child gets done before the other that is okay, they can work on other table work, draw, or have quiet free time.
Here is what our schedule looks like:
| Time | Child 1 | Child 2 | Child 3 |
| 10:00-10:20 | Reader | Chore or Co-op work | Math |
| 10:20-10:40 | Math | Reader | Chore or Co-op Work |
| 10:40-11:00 | Chore or Co-op work | Math | Reader |
After each child finishes the Reader, I then go over the questions provided in the Instructor’s Guide to see what they remember. This quick verbal exchange with each child one-on-one confirms that they are comprehending the material.
The Instructor’s Guide is my lifeline in homeschooling multiple children! It not only keeps me on track with the schedule, but also provides vocabulary reinforcement, context, and open ended questions that can trigger great discussions. It really reduces the amount of prep time I need because everything is ready to go. I just have to flip to the Reader section, and everything is at my fingertips.
2. Swap the Order of the Readers
If two children are sharing the same HBL level, an easy way to share Readers is to adjust the reader schedule by simply flip flopping them. So for instance in HBL E if the next two books scheduled were Old Yeller and Turn Homeward, Hannalee, one child would read Old Yeller while the other read Turn Homeward, Hannalee. Then they would switch.
This strategy works really well for two children, but becomes more complicated when there are three or more. Flip flopping the books also works best with books of similar lengths.
3. Purchase Extra Copies of the Readers
If you find your children cannot share, or it becomes too much of a hassle adjusting the schedule, you can always purchase an extra set of readers. Sonlight makes it easy!
Unexpected Benefits of Sharing Readers
When my family first started sharing Readers, we had a little trouble because my children were fighting over who got to read the book first. Everyone would much rather read the fun books than do math. Once my children settled into the creative Reader schedule, things went much smoother, and I started noticing some unexpected benefits.
By combining your children into the same HBL, you are opening up the door for some great table discussions. For example, when my children read Om-Kas-Toe in HBL D, they had a great talk about how unfair it would have been if Tall Woman would not have gotten to keep both children because both girls and boys matter. Our family then was able to discuss how girls and boys are made in God’s image. This discussion all stemmed from sharing the same Readers.
Besides the great discussions, sharing Readers is just what it sounds like, an opportunity to share. It is an opportunity to practice patience as well, and none of us can ever get too good at either of those. My children are not only learning academic subjects together; they are also learning to work together. Combining your children may seem like more work at first, but it is well worth it!
Tagged multiple children, readers, Sonlight
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Sep. 21, 2021
A Guide to Homeschool Graduations: Ceremony, Speeches, and Party Ideas
Whether you homeschooled from kindergarten through high school or only for the last few years of high school, a homeschool graduation is an immensely rewarding and personal experience for both the student and parents. Like so many aspects of homeschooling, you get to tailor the graduation to your individual student, whether you have a ceremony, a party, or simply go on a meaningful trip together.
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Tagged celebrations, graduation
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Sep. 17, 2021
Choosing the Best Homeschool Math Curriculum
When you were in school, math was either a thing of beauty or a thing of torment. Whichever it was for you, as a homeschooling parent, you get to help your children move towards an understanding of math—whether they end up doing nothing more than tracking their spending as an adult, or get a doctorate in applied mathematics. Knowing this, how does one go about choosing the best math curriculum?
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Tagged choosing, curriculum, homeschool, math
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Sep. 15, 2021
When You Are Your Own Biggest Critic As a Homeschooler
“I’m failing my child.”
This thought barraged my mind the first year of homeschooling my daughter. As I fought to establish a school routine and complete assignments, I was met by the fierce will of a 5-year-old kindergartener who had other ideas about how to spend her day. Most days ended in both of us crying over schoolwork. I felt completely inadequate as her teacher, and wanted to give up.
I quickly became my own biggest critic.
Instead of enjoying the flexibility and discovery of learning in homeschooling, I became a micromanaging perfectionist and focused on everything we were not doing. I couldn’t teach her. I couldn’t get her to listen. These thoughts severely threatened my decision to homeschool.
As I look back over my seasons of doubt, I realize God has used these times to shape me. To see God’s truths, I needed to identify what was causing my fear of failure. Here are three ways I have fallen into cycles of self-criticism.
1. Unrealistic Expectations
Starting on our homeschool journey, I had only the public school model of education. I expected to get through a daily checklist of work while my perfect kindergartener listened intently to every word and attempted every assignment. I’m sure all the veteran homeschoolers are laughing right now.
Most days were spent with me reading while she ran around in circles, seemingly paying no attention to anything I was saying. I don’t know how many times I told my husband, “I can’t do this anymore. Nothing I’m doing is getting through to her.”
My expectations were certainly unrealistic in the beginning. My daughter was too active to sit still and listen. She learned while she was in motion. I still have to adjust my expectations to more realistic goals as we go and circumstances change.
2. Comparison to Others
It’s also easy to compare our progress to others. Planning for that first year, I remember questioning kindergarten teachers to determine learning expectations. One teacher mentioned that her class was reading by Christmas break.
While I understood that each child is unique in their development, and that the whole class probably wasn’t reading C.S. Lewis by the middle of their kindergarten year, I still fretted when we were struggling with simple words. I wondered how I could have a college degree but couldn’t teach my daughter how to read sit or sat. My pride was certainly being broken during this time.
3. Voices and Opinions of Others
Then voices of others in our community began to plant further seeds of doubt in my mind. Teachers from our church would comment on how perfectly behaved and well-mannered my daughter was during class. Surely we weren’t talking about the same girl, right? How could she be so well-behaved for others, and not me?
Words meant for praise I turned into self-criticism.
I thought, maybe if I just sent her to public school, then she would have to sit and listen to a teacher and in the long run get a better education.
My husband and I even sought counsel from others, and one person advised that a school setting might give her a better structure. This opinion caused me to question my ability to continue our homeschool education. While seeking advice from others can be wise, it is also important to weigh it against what you believe God is directing for your family.
Recognize God’s Truths to Silence My Biggest Critic
As I began to identify my negative thought patterns, I realized that ultimately my fear of failure was rooted in the lies of the enemy meant to undermine the work God had called me to accomplish with my child. I needed to replace these lies with God’s truths. I had reached the end of my own capacity and knew if we were going to continue I needed His strength. I found encouragement in words written in Homeschool Bravely by Jamie Erickson:
“…your difficult one is a work in progress, but so are you. Homeschooling with its oftentimes moment-by-complicated-moment investment can be one of the many tools God can use to bring you to completion.”
These words cut at the very lies the enemy had tried to use to make me feel like a failure and give up. I am a work in progress, and I don’t have to be the perfect teacher. I don’t have to check all the boxes on my daily planner. I just have to be yielded to God’s call to teach my child. He’s already decided I’m the best parent for my daughter. He planned it all before she was even born. In Ephesians 2:10, the Bible says that God has prepared my good works beforehand. I simply walk in them. I can rest in knowing that He has prepared the way for me.
Celebrate Accomplishments
As I reflect on what my daughter and I have learned over the last few years of homeschooling, I can truly celebrate our victories and silence the inner voice of my biggest critic. I realize that we were learning even though it may not have exactly matched my initial picture of schooling. This revelation occurred when she began mentioning tidbits from stories and lessons I had read to her a few weeks prior. Apparently she didn’t need to sit still to pay attention.
And she did learn to read. Through all of the different phonics and reading program methods I tried, the only constant during this time of struggle was the Read-Alouds in Sonlight's History / Bible / Literature programs. Having historic figures like Mary in Mary on Horseback or Louise Braille in Out of Darkness brought inspiration to our studies. And then, after being consistent in reading aloud to her, something clicked, and she started reading on her own. I am truly humbled when anyone comments on how well she reads now, because I remember our times of struggle. I am thankful I stayed committed to teaching her despite my fear of failure.
Each year brings its own unique challenges in homeschooling. Amidst new frustrations and learning challenges (math anyone?), it can be easy to fall into another pattern of self-doubt. However, I am quicker to acknowledge these thoughts as lies from the enemy, and ask God to point me to His truth. God is using every circumstance to shape us and point us to our complete dependence on Him. So, when you doubt yourself, know that you can do all things through Christ who strengthens you (Philippians 4:13).
Tagged Encouragement, fears, Homeschooling
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