Sonlight Homeschooling Blog

Apr. 25, 2012

Praising Practice

By Luke

My dad has often reminded me that an essay is literally a "try" or attempt. Paul Graham's essay on Essays makes much the same point. Writing, then, should often be viewed more as an attempt at getting better, rather than the culmination of all literary masterpieces.

This was the general view we had when on the swim team as well: Were your times improving? That's all that really matters. The blue ribbons are fun... for a while. But the real measure is how your efforts are paying off in improvement.

I think this idea should be applied to most development and learning. We're not trying to "arrive" at some destination--especially since there isn't much of a destination at which to arrive; the goal of getting a diploma or a doctorate never really grabbed me. There's always more to learn.

Must be my embrace of life-long learning...

Earlier this week, I read Daphne Gray's advice that we find people who will praise and applaud us--even if we don't necessarily deserve it. I was immediately reminded of the classroom when she said described the toxic environment of groups built around criticism. The marks on tests and papers were never about praise. They were about seeing how well (or poorly) you measured up.

Homeschooling allows us to take the opposite approach: We can praise and applaud. These exercises and assignments are not the finished product. These moments are practice. And as long as we are steadily--however slowly--improving, that's all that really matters.

If you haven't yet, I recommend you read Daphne's Writing Lesson from Toastmasters. And then praise your children for the work they've accomplished.

And if you're not very good at applauding, you could at lease give it a try <smile>.

~Luke Holzmann
Filmmaker, Writer, Empty Nester

Bucketsful: how much a bucket would hold; a large amount

Brought to you by Daphne Gray-Grant

P.S. I've never been into diagramming sentences, but this little website will diagram a sentence for you. Kinda cool.
Hat Tip
Henry Cate

Tagged Encouragement, Teaching Tips, writing | 4 Comments

Apr. 24, 2012

Our Stories

By Karla

As Sonlighters we use stories every day to teach our children. We have the richest literature available at our fingertips. Even more valuable than our wonderful library of books are the stories from our own life experiences and heritage. I appreciated what Judy had to say recently about the importance of remembering. I've been visiting my parents this past week... and remembering...

Many years ago, when I was a little girl, my grandparents build a home in the Ozarks. Some of their children were still at home at that time. My earliest memories date back to when the house was under construction.

Fast-forward several decades. My grandparents are gone. Now my parents live on the "old home place." Every time I turn around I remember my grandparents. I see Granddaddy's hand in the carefully crafted stone walls. I can almost hear Grandmother sweetly asking me to do a "little job" for her. I think of the influence they had on their friends and neighbors. My grandparents were simple people. They didn't have much in the way of material possessions but the heritage they passed on to their descendants has eternal value that can never be calculated.

I've taken my daughter and my nephew for several walks all over the farm this week, regaling them with stories of "when I was a little girl." Many updates and changes have been made to the place since that long-ago time, but in my mind's eye I can still see the way things used to be. I remember the games we played as we learned to use our imaginations, the chores we were expected to do as part of the family, and the nightly family devotions.

The lines have fallen to me in pleasant places;
Yes, I have a good inheritance.
--Psalm 16:6

These are the things I want to pass on to my children by remembering and recording the heritage we have, the experiences that have shaped our lives.

This will be written for a generation to come,
That a people yet to be created will praise the Lord.
--Psalm 102:18

Enjoying the adventure,
~Karla Cook
Lifelong Learner

Tagged family, heritage, remembering, stories | 2 Comments

Apr. 23, 2012

What Horror Flicks Reveal About Literature

By Luke

I'm not a fan of the horror genre. I find horror films tend to center somewhere between the lame and the ludicrous. And I'm not fond of gore. But the good thrillers have one thing in common: They let your mind do the work. They don't show you the moment. They let you experience that in your head. And scenes are far more terrifying for it.

I was reminded of this phenomenon when I read books vs 'visuals' (one of today's Other Posts of Note): "Students are appallingly jaded when it comes to visuals... What does haunt them is in the books."

Granted, if your kid spends less than the average of 30 hours a week in front of the tube, visuals may still pack a punch. But even if seeing something can give you a nightmare, I still contend that great literature sticks better. Television, I've been told, is a passive activity. Reading--and, I'm guessing, being read to--requires much more of your mind. You are more invested because your mind does the work.

The Worlds Inside Books

Don't get me wrong: I love movies. But there's something fantastic about using books to learn. This powerful advantage is at the heart of Sonlight's approach to education... a model that has taken the homeschooling world by storm. Engaging books are the foundation of literature-based homeschool curriculum.

Horror movies are often ridiculous, but they remind us that letting our minds take part in the creation of a moment puts us there in ways pictures do not.

So, as you look toward the summer and finish out this school year, remember that literature sticks.

What moments have recently been stuck in your mind since reading about them?

~Luke Holzmann
Filmmaker, Writer, Empty Nester

Tagged books, education, learning, literature | 2 Comments

Apr. 19, 2012

Why I Read the End First

By Sarita

John "caught" me the other day reading the end of a book first. "Does it spoil the fun for you?" he asked. "Isn't it sort of cheating?"

Despite what my middle school English teacher taught me, I usually read the end of a book first. It helps me enjoy the book more. As I explained to John, when I read the end first, I can gladly work my way through the rest of the book knowing that the ending is sound.

Sonlight student Luke C gets to the end of a good read

It turns out I'm not alone. A study by the University of California San Diego suggests that readers actually enjoy a story more when they know the ending right from the beginning.

You can read about the study in an article by Jonah Lehrer called "Spoilers Don't Spoil Anything." (But just a heads up—the article contains a little language that I would not use and some might find offensive.) Lehrer defends his own tendency to read the ending first saying that "I like the story more because the suspense is contained." I agree.

I don't want to spend hours reading a book only to be disappointed by a cheap or unsatisfying ending. If it doesn't have a good ending—if the protagonist doesn't transform and grow in character, if the story doesn't go anywhere—then I have better books to read with my time. But once I know those things do happen, I can watch the story unfold and notice many beautiful nuances I may have missed otherwise.

Take the marvelous 2010 Newbery winner, When You Reach Me as an example. The author masterfully crafts the story; all the bits and pieces throughout the book finally coalesce at the end. Throughout the story, the heroine comes into contact with all sorts of strange people and events. If you don't know how it ends, you could find it kind of scary. If I hadn't read the end first, I would have spent all my energy wondering where it was going and whether the author would suitably tie up the loose ends.

But having read the end first, I saw how all the pieces do in fact come together and resolve. So as I read through the work, I picked up on a hundred nuances and subtleties I may have otherwise missed.

Isn't this why we re-read our favorite works? We know how they end; we know we aren't in for a surprise twist. But we still enjoy the suspense of watching the story unfold and seeing the intricacies of how the author weaves the tale.

As you may know, my favorite books of all time are The Chronicles of Narnia. I've read them about twice a year each year since fourth grade. I'm certainly not surprised anymore by the plots. Yet I still delight in each re-reading because I get to watch these masterpiece stories unfold. I come at each story from a slightly different place in life each time. I can soak in the artfulness of the stories and appreciate the different nuances I notice each time.

I think you can get some of these same benefits on a first reading of a book simply by reading the end first.

Of course, you don't have to read the end first. It works well whichever way you prefer. And that may be one more reason to love books over other media (or at least in addition to other media). I think you need to work through movies and video games in order; books continue to demonstrate their flexibility.

So mom or dad, if you choose to stay up to finish a Read-Aloud and see how it ends, feel more than free to do so. You'll remove tension from your life because you won't worry about whether it ends well. AND you still get to enjoy the book when you finish it with your children. The best of both worlds!

Blessings,
Sarita

Tagged books, read-alouds, reading | 4 Comments

Apr. 17, 2012

Hugs from God

By Jonelle

I started several blog posts over the past few weeks, and nothing stuck. My 2nd daughter's birthday was yesterday, April 16. So, I thought I'd share the end of her story just the way I wrote it two years ago, four days after she died on April 26, 2010. And yes, it is sad. But hopeful too. (Skip to the end if you just want hugs)

"Go home baby, just go home. It's okay. We will miss you, but just go home. We love you. It's okay, just go home. Mommy loves you."

I woke up at 1:23am. Since her birth we had had all good nights, not a single call. Two minutes later the phone rang. Dave calmly answered and then climbed out of bed, "She's doing the same thing as earlier, they need us to come up at once."

...

We had visited Gracie Lou after church with Natalia, Grandpa and Beppe. Gracie was doing well. She'd had a rough care--where they change her diaper, weigh her, rotate her, and take a "blood gas" of all of her internal systems--earlier in the morning, but had stabilized by the time we were there. After just a few hours, Dave, who had been with her late into the evening (when she had dipped to a critical level) asked to go home. We went to my folk's house and played in the back yard with Natalia.

At about 6pm we headed to dinner with my parents and Luke and Brittany. Right after our food arrived we got the call. "Come now, we don't know if she is going to make it, her oxygen level is so low and she's not responding to anything we are doing." My heart broke as I looked at Natalia. I had so badly wanted to tuck her into bed. It had been so hard to be away from her and miss our normal routines. Dad got boxes for our food and Luke quickly dumped it in for us. I started crying as I said goodbye to Natalia. "Mommy loves you, we will be back. We are not abandoning you, we will be back." As Dave and I ran for the door Natalia began to cry, "Mommy!"

While we sped to the hospital, it was just so, so tense. Call Amy, let her know and ask her to post on the forums so people can pray; call Dave's parents; call our pastor. "Would you like us to come?"..."How many times do you have your pastors come to pray at your baby's bedside?"..."Don't worry, I'm sure it will be fine."; call our old pastors, Rob and Cindy, "Please pray."

Nearly downtown the phone rang again. "It is the doctor, I just wanted to let you know she is stable. Please still come up, but don't get into an accident."

"Baby boo, you gave Mommy a heart attack. Little Gracie girl, hang in there."

Her numbers were the best they had been since she was born, but it was a false sense of security. They had given her a new drug, and the doctor made sure we knew her levels would not stay stable.

After only a short time we said good night and headed home. Natalia crawled into bed with us and was sleeping on my arm when the next call came.

...

No longer the calm, dark cocoon where she could grow, the entire room where Gracie lay was lit up, there was no cover on the incubator and only her eyes were shielded from the glare. Now she was a medical emergency.

The machines keeping her alive were humming, her tiny body thrumming with the oxygen being pushed into her. 100% oxygen at the highest level her body could handle. Her skin was stretched tight over her chest and her belly was distended. When I placed my hands on her I could feel the beating of the air through her toothpick sized ribs. Her whole body vibrated.

"Oh sweet baby. Precious girl, hang in there! We are here, we love you. Please hold on. Lord, breathe your breath of life. This is easy for you. You created the entire universe with just words, you can save her. You don't have to be here. Just speak the word and make her whole. Please God. Let this be a builder of our faith, not just a lesson in grief. I don't think I can bear this. But I guess I'm still here...so I am bearing it. Father please, please, touch her body."

Two hours later I had to pull my arms from the incubator. It was just too much. I collapsed into a chair and dozed as Dave touched her.

Three hours and fifteen minutes after we arrived, the new medication that had brought some stability had run its course. 5:15am. Would she rebound, or was this the end?

"Please, Father, please. Oh, baby, we love you. We are still here. Lord, we need the miracle now."

The day nurse suggested we rest for a short while and had set up cots for us in the NICU's family room. 8:21am, Dave dozed and I posted on Facebook: After 3 hospital calls Dave and I have been here since about 2am. We are praying for a direct answer: may Gracie be healed or may she go Home today.

I questioned the Lord. Will joy come with the morning or will we say, our God is still faithful?

Then I called my parents, our old pastor's wife, and, finally, my sister Amy.

Through tears, "Jonelle, I wonder if you should just say good-bye? Gracie Lou obviously loves you; she rebounds every time you are near. She's holding on for you. Maybe you should just release her. Let her know you will not lose faith in God, that you love her, but that you are okay with her going home."

"Baby girl, Mommy loves you. But it is okay. You can stop now. You can just go home. Go rest. Let go. It's okay. Oh sweet baby. We will miss you, but just go home. Thank you for fighting as hard as you did. I am sorry your sister never met you; she wanted to. It's okay. We will be okay. Just go home. Go rest. We wanted to take you home, but it's okay. Let go. Just rest. Dear Lord, please take her. Please don't make us play 'god' and choose when her life should end. Please Lord, take her home."

Dave walked in, "I think it might be time to hold her."

"Yes, it's time"

9:30am. The first time I held my baby. 9 days old. At barely over a pound she was so light I don't know that I really felt her other than the weight of my own hands holding her to my chest. The thrumming continued, pulsing from her body into mine.

Dave called my dad, "Please come. You have documented everything, please be here."

At first it was just pure joy, holding the little life. My little girl. Gracie Lou.

"Oh sweet girl. We love you. But it's okay, go home. Just go home."

Dad arrived. He started taking pictures. It was just the four of us: Dave, Dad, Gracie Lou and me. It was the cocoon again. The curtain drawn, the lights low. Peace.

I looked at Dave seated beside me. "What are you thinking?"

"I think it is time to turn off the respirator."

"Yes, it's time."

The nurses removed the final machine that was holding Gracie Lou here. Silence. No more pulsing, no more beeps, no more monitors, no more emergency. Peace.

Dave held her for a few moments, she cuddled into his neck.

He passed her back to me.

"Little one, the Lord has already blessed you. He will keep you. Soon you will see His shining face, and you will be at peace. Oh sweet girl. We love you. We love you. But it's okay, just go home. Just rest."

11:45am the doctor came in to listen for a heart beat. With no machines there was no fuss, no numbers counting down, no straight line to say, "Now, now is the moment your child is gone." After several beats of my own heart she quietly said, "I don't hear anything."

A shell. I was holding the broken shell of my daughter who was already dancing before the Lord. Whole. Complete. Not in pain. No longer fighting for air. Her life here with us was over.

As my sister said later, "How beautiful, the last thing she heard before the choirs of angels singing before the Lord was your heart beating." Yes, it was beautiful. Peaceful. Not rushed and frantic, but soft, tender and quiet.

Thank you God. We are grateful to have had her.

So much of Gracie's life is just beautiful and wonderful. To end with beauty, and ultimately the wonder of our hope through Christ, I thought I would share some "hugs" from God I had yesterday:

Hug: Eliana started giggling the day before Gracie's birthday. Baby laughter, there's not much better.
Hug: right after posting to FB about Gracie dancing with the Lord on her birthday I got a picture of a girl with long dark hair in a swirly dress kicking up her heels.
Hug: Natalia asked me to sing her favorite song, "my God's not dead, he's surely alive..." (isn't that the truth?)
Hug: a beautiful birthday breakfast made by Dave's mom with French toast (my favorite)! My parents joined us, lovely.
Hug: sweet calls (and texts) from friends loving on me.
Hug: going to the butterfly pavilion to get some butterfly kisses.
Hug: the butterfly pavilion itself was lovely, a girls day with my mom, mother-in-law, Natalia and Eliana.
Hug: sunshine and warmth enough to go on a walk.
Hug: silence when I needed it, talking when I was ready.

Us at the Butterfly Pavilion \ Mother-in-law with smiles

Thank you God.
Jonelle

Tagged children, Christianity | 3 Comments

Apr. 16, 2012

Homeschoolers and the Popular Kids

By Luke

I really like Paul Graham's essay on Why Nerds are Unpopular. I think it's spot on. But a mere two paragraphs into Matt's post comparing church and junior high a thought struck me: Who are the "popular" kids? Or, put another way, "I don't think the popular kids are very popular."

We all know who the popular kids are. We may be able to name them, even after all these years. It's possible we could tell you, in painful detail, how they helped make our lives miserable--assuming we were important enough to be a target.

Important. Target.

Those two words connected in my mind: The popular kids, for all their "popularity," were wildly disliked by the majority of students I knew. In other words: The "popular" kids were severely unpopular. They were important enough to be targets. The same thing happens with celebrities; the tabloid industry is built on such things.

Unpopular

Me? I was popular in high school after I got out of my awkward stage. I was good at sports, but sports no one cares about like swimming and cross country. I wasn't unattractive, but my wife says I have much improved since those days. I took advanced classes with other kids interested in winning the grade game. I ate lunch with a group of students who preferred sitting on the floor to the cafeteria tables. We were popular because we liked each other. And our relatively small group was larger than that of the "popular" entourage.

I'd be interested in hearing from a popular kid. What was life like as the alpha? I doubt it was fun.

Far better to realize that the friends you have are what make you truly popular. And even there, the numbers aren't what matter. Do you have people who love you and encourage you to become the person you should be? That's what matters. That matters far more than how many people despise you for being good at everything and looking good while doing it.

Homeschooling allows our kids to not have to worry about being popular at school. Instead, we can focus on loving our children and encouraging them to become the people they should be. And, don't worry: There are still plenty of opportunities for them to learn how to navigate the petty worlds of cliques and circles in sports and church and band and the rest of life.

But with the lengthy reprieve not offered their friends in school, may our homeschooled children recognize the truth of popularity and make better, stronger friends for it.

How popular where the popular kids you knew in school?

~Luke Holzmann
Filmmaker, Writer, Empty Nester

Tagged Homeschooling, socialization | 4 Comments

Apr. 13, 2012

That Sinking Feeling and Flying Reindeer

By Luke

My best friend, and excellent source for all things newsworthy, asked me, "Did you hear about all the people on Twitter who didn't know the Titanic was real?"

I hadn't. If you can handle a rant about how people are imbeciles, swing by the Gizmodo article. Otherwise, I'll summarize: At least 12 people recently discovered that the Titanic isn't just a movie.

Heh.

But even while I smile, smug in my superior grasp of the situation, I have a sinking feeling. Because, not nearly enough years ago, I didn't know reindeer were real.

Don't freak out. It was more than a decade ago. But I distinctly remember when that bit of information finally sunk in. I felt much the same then as I did when I found another gaping hole in my education. I simply hadn't considered reindeer because, in my experience, they flew... meaning, they weren't real. I hadn't seen a reindeer. I hadn't heard a credible story involving reindeer. And so I was ignorant until I encountered a story of someone who dealt with reindeer on a regular basis.

So, I'll say it again: The stuff you know is important, to be sure, but the ability to learn is ever so much more essential.

Will your children have gaps in their education? Yes. Absolutely. And that's okay.

It's tempting, when we hear that people are ignorant of basic knowledge, to decry our educational system, bemoan the youth of today, give up hope for humanity, and a great many other dramatic things. But, really, this should:

Inspire us to learn more by reminding us that we, too, were once ignorant.
Encourage us in our homeschooling journey as there is always more to learn--even if "everyone else" knew it before us.
Give us humility in the realization that a personal encounter is often needed to make something real.

And, sure, this also adds one more log to the fire of "first remove the plank from your eye" when people suggest homeschoolers need more oversight.

What do you think of people not knowing basic facts everyone "should know"?

~Luke Holzmann
Filmmaker, Writer, Empty Nester

P.S. Not on topic, per se, but I really like this idea of things not being real until you encounter them. Reminds me of people who hear about Jesus, but it doesn't matter until they encounter Him.

Tagged education | 7 Comments

Praising Practice

Our Stories

What Horror Flicks Reveal About Literature

Why I Read the End First

Hugs from God

Homeschoolers and the Popular Kids

That Sinking Feeling and Flying Reindeer

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