What is it you do, exactly??

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PassingGradeFor the past few weeks I have had to undergo a variety of medical tests. Most medical technicians, if they're any good (IMHO), learn to make small talk to fill the time and make their patient feel less stressed. Without exception, each of the very kind medical personnel has had a conversation with me that went something like this ... "So where do you live?" "How many kids do you have?" "How old are they?" Then without fail ... the dreaded "What do you do?" comes up. As if being a wife and mom and caring for my home isn't enough to do!

When I was a much younger wife and mom and homemaker, that question used to make me frustrated and sometimes angry. How dare they question my "value"?! As I've walked further along in my journey, I've learned that most folks aren't really making a conscious judgment about my worth, and my value really doesn't come from their opinion of my life choices. I also stumbled across a standard "response" in the early days of my homeschooling that made me chuckle, and served to boost my self-confidence on those days when I really wondered if what I was doing had any real value.

What do I do? I am the administrator/instructor of an exclusive, multi-grade academy designed for the express purpose of enhancing genius and maximizing potential in a select group of creative children. And what is it that YOU do?

Each time that saying circulates around again, it makes me smile and gives a little boost of encouragement. So what do *you* tell people when they ask what you do? Are you annoyed by the question, or can you answer with confidence?

As you invest time in your children's education, and their lives, this week ... give your self a job performance rating of A+ and be encouraged that what you do will have an eternal impact in their lives, and the lives of your grandchildren and great-grandchildren, etc...

Still on the journey ...
~Judy Wnuk
Sonlight Customer Champion

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Finding Healing

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[Soft music plays, scene opens on a dark bedroom, a bump in the bed proves someone is curled up]

Narrator: Depression. Headaches. Exhaustion. Dry skin. Nightmares. Feelings like you just can't handle it...if you have any unwanted symptoms you could benefit from homeopathy.

[Cut to sunlight path, Mom pushing stroller while older child runs in a puffy dress; cut to Mom wrestling with oldest child laughing and giggling while they give each other kisses; cut to Mom and youngest child, Mom and baby laughing as they dance]

Okay, so, it's not a commercial, it's my life. But, that pretty much sums up the past several months. After a few years of dramatic health issues and even more traumatic emotional issues, I was feeling like I just couldn't handle IT. Anything. I felt like a shadow of myself. I just wanted energy again. I wanted to feel like if a situation came up with the girls, that I didn't need to curl up into a ball and just cry until Dave came home. That I could cook and clean, and think again. I really wanted to think again.

So, I went to a classical homeopath.*

After reviewing an extensive medical and life questionnaire, we talked for almost 3 hours. Then she gave me a remedy. A single dose while I was in the office with a few additional doses to take when I got home.

I drove away and within 15 minutes I thought, "Wow, I feel really good. I feel like I can DO life."

I got home and had the best 3 days in months. Then I needed another dose. Almost 3 months later, I take a small, diluted dose when I feel like I need it. For example, when visiting my in laws and everyone came down with a cold, I felt like I was getting a sore throat, took one dose, and I was fine. I ate something that didn't agree with me, took a dose, and my headache subsided. After a really bad night of sleep, feelings of, "I just can't take this any more!" I took a dose, and survived the day with no major melt downs.

Treating chronic issues using classical homeopathy is different that treating acute symptoms, headaches, the flu, bug bites etc. Classical homeopathy looks at the entire person, physical, emotional, mental. It assumes that your body wants to heal itself and it aids in that healing process.**

So how am I?

Not depressed. Things have happened, I've walked through sadness, but it's just sadness. It's no longer the tipping point that then I spiral out of control. It's just a period where I can say, some things in life just are sad, and I can cry and process that and then be okay.

Two headaches in all these months, both of which I know where caused by food (or in one case color) that has something my body disagrees with.

I have energy! In fact, I am doing a program called 8 weeks to a less cluttered home.

I am exercising. I am cooking and thinking about meal planning. I am doing school with Natalia. All of these things would have been beyond my reach a few months ago. They would have felt like pipe dreams. I would get to the end of the day and think, I just need to watch a show. Now, I can put photos in albums or read.

My skin is better.

No nightmares. Ever. I honestly don't remember a time in my life when I haven't had nightmares.

Frankly, most days I'm just ready to take on life. Even in the same situations (where everyone is melting down) I can handle it. I can take a deep cleansing breath, pray, and then handle the situation.

closet
My newly organized closet

There are many different ways of healing, even within the natural realm. I have used numerous different doctors over my life, and I feel like homeopathy has had the most dramatic, positive, and immediate effects for me. I feel like almost anyone would benefit from it.

This is my story. Do you have any experience with homeopathy? What natural methods do you use to promote healing?

Until next time!

Jonelle

*There are many different homeopaths, and many different sites and books on it as well. Mary Ellen's website is a jumping off point.

**Many of you many be wondering where God is in the use of homeopathy. Isn't that a weird Eastern religion type thing? No, it's not. And, for me, as I've turned more towards natural healing methods, I've determined to focus on giving thanks to the Creator of natural ways of healing, instead of worshiping the healing substances themselves. I'm grateful that the Lord has made ways for us to heal ourselves long before now, that we didn't need to wait till the 21st Century before we could find true health through man-made drugs. Homeopathy itself is a VERY different way of thinking about health and does take some time to process what it is.

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What College Schedules Teach Us About Homeschooling

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Classes begin again today. Winter break is over. And as "my" college kids begin a new term, you may be wondering, "When should I start homeschooling?" I've been told that many people consider pulling out of public school this time of year. But won't you be behind? What schedule should you follow? Isn't there an optimal plan out there?

I tend to assume that someone has figured out the best time to start school and the perfect mix of school days and breaks to maximize learning. But if they have, they aren't sharing. Each school district and university follows its own routine. My alma mater has an interterm course, so Spring classes won't begin for another couple weeks. Another of "my" kids started his college classes last week.

In other words:
If colleges and universities can schedule as they see fit, you can too.

When is the best time to start homeschooling? If you haven't started yet, now would be great! <smile> Of course, you can wait. Your homeschool schedule should fit your family's needs. And the schedule included in your Sonlight homeschool curriculum is flexible enough to keep you on track while giving you space to start whenever you're ready.

Do you take specific breaks over the year? How did you choose your current schedule?

Remember: Homeschool Advisors are available to chat if you have any questions about starting your homeschool adventure now or tweaking your current homeschool plans.

 ~Luke Holzmann
Filmmaker, Writer, Empty Nester

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My best tip for conflict resolution

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The argument seemed dramatic at the time. I thought we should organize our books by color and size. But John wanted to organize them by topic! We spoke past each other, made assumptions, and hurt each other's feelings. A simple difference in preference turned into real conflict.

But then John changed the course of the conflict. He reflected on what had happened and identified what he could take responsibility for. He came back to me and said: "I was wrong when I did ____. Will you forgive me?"

That opened up true dialogue.

Of course I forgave him. His act of maturity helped me think about what I had done wrong. I likewise asked for forgiveness.

We laugh about that argument now. From the beginning, instead of letting bitterness take root and grow, John has led our family in discussing our problems and moving on without resentment.

One of our children asked recently if we had a good book to recommend about conflict resolution. I don't know of a great book* (do you?), but I did share our best tip:

Ask for forgiveness (don't just say "I'm sorry").

Our society loves to gloss over conflicts with a simple "sorry." We use it for almost anything: "Oh, I'm sorry you're disappointed. I'm sorry your package came late. I'm sorry you feel overlooked." We like to shove off responsibility by "apologizing" without accepting responsibility for what we did. It's like punching someone in the arm and then saying "Oh, I'm sorry that your arm hurts." (As if we have nothing to do with that pain.)

But when John and I had some fights in our early days, he would think long and hard about what he did for which he could ask forgiveness. He would determine what was truly his fault. He would be the first to say:

When I did this, I was wrong, will you forgive me?

That formula is almost magical. The hurtful arguments we've had over the years have all been erased ... they're not festering into bitterness.

Here are some specific examples of what we might say to each other:

  • I was wrong when I assumed the worst about you instead of asking what happened and listening to your response. Will you forgive me?
  • I was wrong when I was so focused on finishing dinner that I didn't stop to listen to you when you had something important to share. Will you forgive me?
  • I was wrong when I lost my temper and accused you of not doing anything to help around the house. Will you forgive me?

It takes humility and courage to admit you've done something wrong. Especially if you think the conflict was 95% the other person's fault. But responses like those above seem to disarm the situation. They open up true communication again. They help you treat each other as real people again.

Saying sorry isn't enough. It's a thin blanket you can throw over the issue. You can say "I'm sorry" in a way that communicates, "Even though I'm really OK, and I'm right, I'd like this tension to be over, so I'm going to say I'm sorry."

But when you ask for forgiveness - wow! I'm here to tell you, it is as healing as anything you can come up with. You get to the heart of the issue by accepting responsibility for your wrongs. You admit that you're a fallible human, and you therein remember that you're dealing with another fallible human.

This is not a magic cure-all. But I give thanks that John helped us implement it early in our marriage. Perhaps God will use it in your family as you continue to grow in your own relationships.

And if you have your own tips for conflict resolution, please share them below. I'd love to hear your thoughts.

Blessings,
Sarita

*After I wrote this, a trusted colleague suggested the The Peacemaker: A Biblical Guide to Resolving Personal Conflict, by Ken Sande. I haven't read it myself, but I've heard good things about the book.
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How to Get Back into the Swing of Homeschooling

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Re-entry into homeschooling can be tough; it doesn't matter if it's Christmas break or Summer vacation. Don't believe me? Here's just one recent account. So how do you get back into the swing of homeschooling?

You don't do it like me.

I'm not currently homeschooling, but I did just start working out again. A friend convinced me to lift weights and swim with him three times a week. Swimming I can do. Weight lifting? Not my thing. Anyway, I set all the weight machines to "wimpy mode" and did fine. But then came time for sit-ups. I had a chiseled stomach once, back when I was a nationally ranked swimmer, but no more. So I quickly found myself unable to even lift my back off the inclined bench.

"You did what!?!" Another friend was furious when she heard what we had attempted to do. "Don't you know you're supposed to stretch and warm-up your abs before you begin? Don't you know you're not supposed to try to add weight right away? Don't you know you're supposed to start with normal crunches first?"

If I didn't before, I do now. Here it is, four days later, and it still hurts to sit up straight.

Abs-Pain
In Pain

It's easy to be excited about jumping back into something. We can also feel a pressure to immediately get back up to speed. But you don't have to. In fact, gentle easing back into a routine is better. Much like your body after not working out for <cough> seven years needs some time to build back up, it could be your family needs a little time to get back into the flow of homeschooling.

How do you ease back into homeschooling with Sonlight?

  • Just do the fun stuff. If you need an enjoyable way to start homeschooling again, take a few days to just read a bit. The books in your Sonlight Core are so much fun they don't feel like school!
  • Do half days or a partial week. My local schools--and even my university--do this. Start your week on a Wednesday. Or only do school half the day for the first week.
  • Celebrate. People often throw parties when school ends. Let's turn that around. Learning is a blast! And there's something special about starting up again. So make some cookies or paper airplanes. Do something that signifies your joy in this new year.
  • Remember: This is not a race. Learning is a life-long adventure full of joy and challenges. You can't do it all today, so give yourself some grace and keep your end goals in mind.

I was overzealous in my efforts to get fit again, and now I am suffering for it. Don't make the same mistake in your homeschool. Enjoy the process! It's okay to start easy. Soon enough you'll need to push through and challenge yourself. Don't wear yourself out before you get to that point.

Have you ever pushed yourself too hard at the beginning in sports or homeschooling?

 ~Luke Holzmann
Filmmaker, Writer, Empty Nester

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The Life of the Mind

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MorelandJ.P. Moreland recently updated his fine book Love Your God with All Your Mind. In re-reading it I came across this sobering quote by Peter Kreeft and Ronald Tacelli: "Western civilization is for the first time in its history in danger of dying. The reason is spiritual. It is losing its life, its soul; that soul was the Christian faith" (Handbook of Christian Apologetics).

As Moreland argues, the role of the mind is crucial to the Christian worldview. Unfortunately, anti-intellectualism has far too often weakened the influence of the church. In chapter 1, Moreland lists five characteristics of anti-intellectualism and how it has impacted Western Christianity. These include 1) A misunderstanding of faith's relationship to reason; 2) The separation of the secular and the sacred; 3) Weakened world missions; 4) Anti-intellectualism has spawned an irrelevant gospel; 5) A loss of boldness in confronting the idea structures in our culture with effective Christian witness.

To counter the rise of anti-intellectualism, Christians must take seriously Christ's call to love God with heart, soul, and mind (Matthew 22:37). With my oldest son graduating from high school soon, looking back on his homeschool journey has helped me appreciate the opportunities he's had to train his mind to think clearly and also to learn how to engage culture intelligently.

How does Sonlight accomplish this? One way we do this is by fostering a mindset that is open to understanding and evaluating ideas. We want to educate, not indoctrinate. May we all seek to be deliberate about both encouraging our children to use their minds for the glory of God, and using their intellects to make a positive difference in this world.

Robert Velarde
Author/Educator/Philosopher

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The Curse of Classroom Management

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She is a kindred spirit. Her ideas mesh well with my own. She is passionate about education and teaching the children entrusted to her care. She's energetic. And she has decades of teaching experience.

I think that's the problem.

A student sits, staring off into space. "You're supposed to be writing!" she snaps at the girl.

"I'm thinking!" comes the indignant reply.

The teacher moves on to a boy slowly typing. "You should add a space between those lines." It is not a suggestion. "No. Not like that. Add a space there."

I've been invited to teach a class on how to make movies. I don't have much experience in the classroom, but Brittany and I do teach Sunday School. For me, the creative process takes time. I'm accustomed to a bit of chaos and movement. I don't mind 10-year-olds snickering and talking with each other. And if a child needs more time to figure something out, that doesn't bother me. I give them the space.

Classroom-Chaos
Classroom Management

For my educational compatriot, she acts in the opposite fashion. There is no time for thought. There is no space for socialization. There is no room for goofing off. "Remember," she threatens. "This is for a grade."

And suddenly, the other things that feel disrespectful and stifling are pushed aside. The curse of the classroom has descended. When all else has failed, grades are the final offense. The goals of the classroom are order and compliance: I told them to write a story; they should be writing.

I don't have a good term for this yet, but "classroom cynicism" is what I'm using for now. This teacher, who loves kids, believes her job is to hound and prod and cajole and put students in their place.

I stand off to the side, watching her try to wring success from her charges' heads. And, to me, it's painfully obvious that she's doing it wrong. Her years of teaching have taught her that kids must be controlled and directed. My years of homeschooling have instilled in me the opposite: Kids need to be freed and helped to fly.

Here's the thing: I think she'd agree with me. But all these years of trying to keep a classroom under control and pushing her students to "succeed" have created a bad habit in her. Managing the class has overshadowed imparting the love of learning. "Teaching" has been reduced to keeping kids on task.

And that is so unfortunate.

As homeschoolers, our curriculum is a tool, not a taskmaster. We have flexibility and freedom. And we are not hindered by the chains of classroom management. Instead, we can enjoy a life-time of learning. And as we homeschool our children, we can experience the way we wish we'd been taught if our teachers had fallen prey to the curse of classroom management.

 ~Luke Holzmann
Filmmaker, Writer, Empty Nester

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