Many thoughts buzzing
All around inside my head.
Will try to make sense.

Bad Haiku
Luke 10/17/08

I've heard the following sentiment multiple times recently: The church just wants my money, so I don't go anymore. They're a business, not about relationship or life change.

I once heard a speaker at camp say: In that case, you should not go to a baseball game, or buy a car, or spend money on food because all they want is your money.

But, yes, the church as an institution is a non-profit organization--a business. Sonlight is a for-profit organization--a business. The same is true of Zondervan, Fireproof, and even Mission India... they all want your money.

The operable word here, then, is just. Is money the only thing that the church is about? Is that the only thing that Sonlight, or your local bookstore, is about? How about Amazon? Your bank? The government?

I can assure you that all of those entities want your money (some will take it, regardless). But what do they do with that money? I don't know what Amazon does with it, but I know what Sonlight does with much of the money. The same is true of your church: You should be able to see what they are spending the money on. As a non-profit, they are required to have open books.

But even if your church, as an entity, only wanted your money, is that wrong? Is church, the institution, why we attend on Sundays?

No.

We visit the church, the entity's building, so we can participate in church, the gathering of believers. And we participate in church, the gathering, so that we, as a church, can bond, grow, and minister. If your ministry (the third definition of church) was only about money, you have a problem. If the church gathering is only about money, you have a problem. But if the entity that makes the other two possible is only about money, I don't think that's wrong. ...because, honestly, the entity is about making the other two possible through the money.

Which brings us to the clincher:

You.

I'm currently growing in the area of giving, and I have a long way to go, but I hope to one day be as generous as my parents.

Why do you want money? It's certainly not just to have it. And if you aren't using the resources you have--be it money, talents, or connections--are you really about life change and relationships? Because the only way that church (the ministry) is going to be about those things if you, a member of the church (gathering), make it so.

Sobering thoughts.

 ~Luke Holzmann
Filmmaker, Writer, Expectant Father

I love to read glowing responses to Sonlight. I try to include them in the "Other Posts of Note" section. And that makes sense: I'm a Sonlight blogger, a Sonlight kid, and soon to be--I hope--a Sonlight dad.

But I love the negative posts about Sonlight too.

Well, I don't really love them. In fact, it's hard to hear someone berate the company or one of the products. But I love what I get to do. My job, which I really enjoy, is to chat with those disgruntled folks and find out what went wrong, what they didn't like, and do what I can to make the situation right or, at least, better. I get to help people, and I love helping people.

Granted, if you look back through the history of "Other Posts of Note"--and you should because there is some great stuff there--you won't find me linking to the person who complained about the quality of the binding on one of the Sonlight titles. I don't instantly share that someone says our materials are evil. I don't include the post where the person complained about our shoddy offerings in this or that subject.

But I do, from time to time, post the followup.

I don't want to link you to a post where someone has merely complained. I am, however, thrilled when I am able to link to a post where people have complained, I have been able to address their concerns--in however minimal a way--and they feel that they have at least been heard and supported. In fact, in many cases, their issue remains, but I have, hopefully, been able to take their feedback to improve Sonlight and encouraged them to continue on in the homeschooling journey (even if it isn't with Sonlight).

I love those kinds of posts.

And I got to thinking about it today because I had one of both kinds--included with the "Other Posts of Note" <smile>:

Mary Grace's positive and Suji's negative ...okay, it's really a rave review of how great I am <cough cough>. You think I'd link to someone calling me names? <grin>

I write about Sonlight's desire to help homeschooling families often, but that's because I think it is so important--and so much a part of who I am and what I do. I know that Sonlight isn't perfect, and so I welcome feedback on how we can make it better. And I'm glad that people are happy with me when I do.

It's one of the great perks of the job.

I just wish I didn't have so many typos. I even proofread most of my comments! <grr>

~Luke Holzmann
Filmmaker, Writer, Expectant Father

Today is the annual Sonlight "Refresher," so I have to get ready to film it in a moment. The "Refresher" is a time when we get together and hear the story of Sonlight and get reminded of what we are all about: Helping families (especially missionaries) by making it easier and more enjoyable for them to homeschool their children. ...of course, I film the refresher every year and we have yet to do anything with the footage. Maybe someday posterity will want to see it. Or perhaps, sometime in the future, I'll get to make something cool to post here.

<switching gears>

I'm not feeling very ponderous today--though Brittany's mom once said that she was, much to the amusement of her family--even so, my mind has been pondering a few things. Most recently, and notably, a post by Cherish.

I've come to enjoy Cherish's posts, as well as her personality and ways of looking at things... not to mention her physics lessons. <smile>

Her post, which I strongly suggest you read instead of relying on my truncated version, is in response to a call to pray and fast for the stop of abortion. Her argument is basically thus:

[This is] in no way even a small step toward a real solution. ...they're doing absolutely nothing of practical value that will in actuality reduce the problem. ...It's a scam. It's snake oil. It deprives people who may have a sincere and earnest desire to do some good of the opportunity to... do something which could truly be useful.

Ouch.

And, by and large, I agree with her.

Granted, I do believe in the importance of prayer both for our own edification--which she acknowledges--as well as the world change it can bring about. So, I'm not knocking the prayer and fasting. That is super important. But her point remains searingly (and searchingly) true: Faith without works is dead.

In fact, read all of James 2.

If these people are merely praying and doing nothing more--like loving and caring for these girls, offering help and support--there is little value to praying and fasting, because, as James 2 points out: Are you even really acting out in faith if you aren't also actively doing something to help the problem in the real world?

So, yes, Cherish, you've just giving an excellent example of the truth of Scripture <smile>. Right on.

On the other hand, that doesn't mean we shouldn't be praying as well. We simply should be doing both. Which reminds me of another passage...

~Luke Holzmann
Filmmaker, Writer, Expectant Father

I firmly believe that, as people, we need to be loving. We need to do that. The world is just not a good place when people stop loving others.

I don't think I'd get many complaints about that.

But I'm not so sure that it's a good idea to be accepting. Loving? Yes. Accepting? No.

Huh? Isn't that the same thing?

Nope. Not at all.

Loving means, roughly, to want what is best for others, to care about them, to treat them well, and to encourage them to live the best possible life and provide what you can to make that happen. Accepting, on the hand, means that you merely tolerate the follies of others, you allow them to do whatever they like, and you generally disregard them except to smile wanly at them from time to time. If you try to accept everyone you eventually come to the point where you have to agree with the self-refuting ideal of "not tolerating intolerance." We simply cannot maintain a rational existence and work toward acceptance of everyone.

The opposite is true of love. If we truly love others, we can function very well as a society, despite being completely "intolerant" of other views. If we truly loved the religious nuts who berate us for our sin, we would be able to smile at them, disagree with them, and treat them well anyway.

The same is true of homosexuals, pro-choicers, fallen pastors/priests, rapists, and hypocrites like me. Love them, but please, please realize the importance of disagreeing with them. But as you disagree and refuse to accept their stance, please remember to love them.

I've been slowly collecting posts on this topic, and I think this distinction will correct and inform every single one of these posts (all of them fascinating reads... just please keep this post in mind):

• Exclusively Inclusive
  
  Alasandra
• Problems with legalized same-sex marriage
• Homosexuality in Culture
• You see a woman being raped
  
  Deb

Remember: Until we learn to love people they have a legitimate complaint against us when we come down of them for their beliefs (be it for completely pagan or truly "holy" perspectives). By the same token, we can never truly accept all people--it's impossible.

So strive so as to live with love toward all, and acceptance of only what is right.

~Luke Holzmann
Filmmaker, Writer, Expectant Father

Happy to be at Home has a weekly series of "Day 1 in So-and-So's Kitchen." Now, I know my way around a kitchen, but I don't cook. My wife Brittany, however, does. And last night was just way too good to not share.

This will not become a regular thing--I don't imagine--but I may get her to reveal a few more "secrets" she has tucked away in her apron.

And if you weren't aware, I'm Gluten-Free, so these recipes will be too.

So, without further ado:
Brittany's "I Think I'm in Heaven" Waffles
(Adapted from "Gluten-Free Quick & Easy" by Carol Fenster, Ph.D)

One "I Think I'm in Heaven" Waffle to whet your appetite

First, you need to mix up some Gluten-Free Waffle Mix:

1 1/2c Sorghum Flour
3 1/2c Potato Starch
3 c Cornstarch
1 c Sugar
4 T Baking Powder
4 t Baking Soda
2 t Salt
2 t Xanthan Gum

Makes about 4 batches of waffles. Store mix in the freezer.

Now you can move on to the "I Think I'm in Heaven" Waffles

2 c Waffle Mix
4 T Butter
2 Eggs
1 t Vanilla Extract
1/2 c Milk (add more if batter is too thick)
2 t Lemon Juice

Throw in a bowl and mix until smooth, adding lemon juice last. Coat waffle iron with cooking spray or brush with melted butter, pour on waffle batter, cook. They cook fast.
Top with your favorite waffle topping (sliced strawberries and whipped cream.... yum) and enjoy!

The name is my (Brittany's) contribution. In the book they are just listed as "Waffles."

Makes about 8 waffles on an 8" round waffle maker. Extra waffles can be frozen.
Not that you'll have any <smile>.

Unfortunately, our waffle iron was a tad dirty from our last--failed--attempt at making waffles. So, in the spirit of a "Wordless Works for Me Wednesday on Monday" post, I'll share with you our super-effective way of cleaning off the waffle iron... and it got the whole family involved (something I hear is good to do):

Nevil: Doing His Part

After we'd washed the waffle iron, I stepped up to the plate... literally.

Luke: Doing His Part

So there you have it. Enjoy!

~Luke Holzmann
Filmmaker, Writer, Expectant Father

...I'm also into cats.*

We left the house at 6:30 this morning to go get fingerprinted for the FBI so we can move forward with this adoption process. That gave us an hour to get to our appointment.

And then we hit traffic. At 6:35.

What?

For the next twenty minutes we slowly inched our way forward. It was like driving on the 5. I kept telling my wife that I left California for a reason.

It would be cool to be able to tell you all that I kept my cool. I mean, we only had an appointment for the three of us--my best friend had to get printed too, and he had work to get to--and if we missed this appointment it would be two weeks before we could try again. And I hate driving. And the trip was supposed to take 35-45 minutes as it was, so this 20 minute parking lot was cutting it close. And I tend to get lost if I haven't been to a place before, so I needed the extra time that was quickly ticking away.

I didn't keep my cool.

I lost it.

This adoption stuff is killer. Brittany's stressed out too, and that only adds to my stress. It ain't pretty. And it wasn't pretty in the car.

And the three car pileup that had blocked three lanes of traffic wasn't pretty either. But by then, I didn't care. Whoever had caused that accident had also interfered with my adoption, and the lives of the hundreds of other people stuck in traffic that morning as well, not to mention any fatalities. People were in my way, and there are few things in life as annoying as people who are in my way.

To make it worse, all these people were potentially pushing back my adoption date even further. Get between me and my kids? I'm not going to be happy with you.

And I wasn't happy.

When I finally got to work my blood pressure was up, and and my feathers were ruffled. And then I read Judy's post...

[insert you reading her post now]

I wish I was there. I do.

But I'm not. Not by a long shot.

We made it to the appointment on time, we got through everything really quickly, and I'm pretty sure my friend got to work in plenty of time. So, to add salt to the wound: It all worked out beautifully. Everything was great, except my attitude.

Create in me a clean heart, O God; and renew a right spirit within me. ...because I'm an evil man.

I wish I could be a perfect husband, friend, and father, but I'm not.

The "salt" stings, but I've heard that salt helps wounds heal. And perhaps that's why God so often blesses us despite our severe lack of faith--to heal our mistrust, to teach us that He is trustworthy.

~Luke Holzmann
Filmmaker, Writer, Expectant Father

*So obscure no one gets it. That's fine.
You'll get used to my apparently disjointed comments as well.
Or you'll roll your eyes like my wife <smile>.
If you're dying to know, Google the phrase.
You are responsible for what you watch.

Do you ever get the feeling like your life is on a "rinse/repeat" cycle? You know, that nagging feeling like you did this whole "life" thing yesterday and will get up and do it again tomorrow?

I get that feeling from time to time as I make my way down the dark hall to the shower in the morning. In fact, I get that feeling sometimes when I lie down at night.
[Aside: Oh my. I had to look that up again: "Lie" means to "speak with the purpose of deception" or to "assume a horizontal position." "Lay," on the other hand, means "to put something down {in a horizontal position}" or to "be in a horizontal position." ...no wonder I'm confused. English can be crazy.]

I'm not the first person to feel this way. I think the author of Ecclesiastes felt that way too--you know, the whole, "everything is meaningless" mantra. And with this comes the realization that your past successes don't matter a lick if you mess up the present.

For instance: It doesn't matter that you haven't lost your temper for the past week if you lose it now.

There's a quote that fits perfectly with this, but I was unable to find a proper citation, "The problem with the Christian life is that it's so daily."

That's the problem with the homeschooler's life too.

So, what's the solution? How do we deal with the monotony and repetition of life?

Here are a few ideas, but please share yours as well:

1. Enjoy the change. As mundane as life can seem, change is all around us. Our kids get older, the seasons shift (unless you're in California <smile>), and "markers" come and go, such as birthdays, holidays and major events.

2. Accept the newness of each day. Even if you're not religious, the fact remains: His mercies are new every morning. That statement has more practical application for those of faith, but just as our past successes don't matter as much as our present choices, the same is true of our shortcomings. The fact that the past holds less significance than the present makes every moment an opportunity for life to get better.

3. Mix it up. I'm a creature of habit. I love sticking to a schedule so my brain doesn't have to think too much. I just automatically do the same thing... which is why, when driving, my wife has to remind me to keep going straight if I normally turn at an intersection. I get on autopilot. But if you're feeling like you've ended up in the doldrums, shake things up. If that means running off to the park or picking up ice cream, go for it.

So, yes, life is daily. And, sure, we could get discouraged by that fact, or we could see it as an opportunity.

Have you seen the movie Groundhog Day? If every day was the same you could spend it learning to toss cards into a hat, or you could see how much good you could do.

May I encourage you to do the latter.

~Luke Holzmann
Filmmaker, Writer, Expectant Father