Okay, I saw the same thing posted on three blogs today, so this is a hot item on the blogosphere. That being the case, I felt compelled to weigh in.

How many more metaphors can I mix there? Sales, planets and wrestling...

Weighing in on a Blogosphere Hot Item

[Aside: I crack myself up.]

I saw the article on Dawn's blog first.

'Interesting,' I thought.

Then is showed up again on JoAnn's blog and again on Judy's blog as well.

'Fine, I'll read the article.'

But all three links are now dead. It appears that the Examiner changed the url (sneaky, sneaky). Thankfully, yours truly is here to save the day. You can read the article here--unless they change the link again <smile>.

Please go give Dawn, JoAnn, and Judy a visit. My take on this will be, well, different from all of theirs (why would I say what's already been said?).

First, I'm actually surprised at the lack of really good examples. I mean, these are pretty funny, but not as good as these (my personal favorite is about Cyrus McCormick). Perhaps we study less mangle-able topics in college. But I'd be interested in a study that actually shows a decline in the quality of writing. It sounds to me that Mr. Watson has been collecting these "gems" for years, and my fear is that as his file filled he started to assume that the frequency was increasing.

Second, one of the comments I read pointed out that many of the errors are malapropisms. Which is true. There are also many atrociously misspelled words. And these problems could both be attributed to a heavy reliance on spellcheck. And while I wouldn't mind improving my spelling ability, I have become a very proficient user of spellcheck and a digital dictionary.

Third, reading could certainly help... assuming we are reading material of a slightly higher caliber than, say, "Time for Friends" (not that "Time for Friends" isn't an excellent bit of children's literature). We need books that challenge us and introduce us to vocabulary beyond our vernacular, not just the latest Twilight Potter's Shack.

Forth, for me, the most troubling part of the article is that you can ask the students what they mean, "and they can’t tell you verbally, either." And from the comments I've read, that is bothersome to others as well. Even so, I remember being completely confused as my dad "bled" over yet another of my tear-stained papers.

"It made sense when I wrote it," I would lament. And my statement had made sense. The problem was that once my dad explained how incoherent my sentence was, I was stuck. I could think of no better way of expressing myself. And, really, that's an area I'm still growing in as a writer; how do you communicate clearly this or that idea?

Yes, reading great literature will help build a vocabulary and give a foundation for excellent writing.

Yes, practice gives opportunity to improve one's writing.

Yes, it would not surprise me if the educational system's focus on the testable side of English has lead to a decline in the functional/intelligible aspect.

And, yes, apathy is not helping.

But we need so much more than "hard work" if we are to improve our writing. We need people who can help us think through our logic, our expression, as well as our typos and malapropisms.

And who has more opportunity to do that than homeschooling parents?

Here's a little anecdote as I bring this long essay to a close*:

In one of my college Mass Communication classes, I was told that the professor was really strict about papers. So I paid special attention at the beginning of the semester as he went over what he expected in our papers.

"You must," he informed us, "have proper punctuation and spelling."

...

That's it? When have we ever been allowed to use improper punctuation or spelling in papers?

I got an A on every paper in that class. And as much as it pains me to admit, I attribute my success to my dad's red pen and interrogations. So, if I'm ever reading the writing of one of my children and they explain some aspect of "uh-rithmetic" to me, I'll smile and bleed on their paper.

Like father, like son.

~Luke Holzmann
Filmmaker, Writer, Expectant Father

*I tend to say "antidote" much to the frustration of my friends. I wonder how many times that malaprop has slipped through?

Two and a half months ago I wrote a post where I mentioned a blog I thought was funny due to "mild profanity" and ever since then it's bugged me. In fact, even when I typed the words way back then I knew I would have to revisit the concept. And the day has come.

What makes today the day?

First, I haven't run into anything more pressing to blog about.

Second, Shannon* wrote a great post on the subject. (You can read it here if you missed it in my "Other Posts of Note" ...which you all read all the time, right? <wink>).

My first thought is: What makes a profanity "mild" and what difference does that make? I mean, this goes back to the whole "a sin is a sin" issue, right? But before I can answer my own question, I have to answer a more basic question: What is a profanity, and why is it wrong to use them?

Thankfully, Shannon's husband has already told us that the "thing about bad words isn’t so much the word itself, it’s the motive and heart behind it." With that being the case, even euphemisms can be a problem. And I completely agree: The intent, more than content, determines the morality of something.

But content does matter. That's why some words in our culture are plain old profanities while others are "mild." That is culturally defined, which is why in Europe people say "bum" for the derriere, because they find "butt" offensive; the same is true of households as well: what is okay to say depends on the home.

And, yes, a "sin is a sin," but different sins have different consequences. So while it is equally sinful to hate your brother as to kill him, the consequences of murder are far more tangible and irreversible. So, a mild profanity has less of a negative impact than something more venomous.

I believe that there are three factors to determining the morality of something, and I've given you two: Intent and Content.

You'll have to wait for the third: Response. It couldn't get it to fit well in this post.

~Luke Holzmann
Filmmaker, Writer, Expectant Father

*After much sleuthing, I think her name is Shannon.

But I just gotta say this: Not giving me at least a pseudonym drives me crazy! It's a pet peeve of mine. I hate having to refer to people with: "Why, yes, I-Am-a-Mother-of-Two-and-Own-a-Dog, I agree."

For cryin' out loud! If'n you're paranoid, at least use Elle G or something.

And maybe it's just me, but LAH doesn't cut it either. I guess my brain can't make enough of a distinction between GW and CM to be an effective nomenclature.

Rant over.

Forgive me, Woman-Wanting-What-the-Word-Welcomes; I love you dearly, but please give me something more personable to use in reference to you.

Thank you.

Your Friend and Blogger,
~Luke

I have an affinity for tech support humor; I love the tales of woe as two people attempt to solve a problem over the phone. One of my favorites involves a woman whose printer was not printing yellow.

Every color but yellow.

Tech support helped her clean the heads, print test pages, replace the ink cartridge, and finally suggested she get a replacement. That's when the woman asked, "Do you think it would help if didn't use yellow paper?"

...

Brittany may have had a moment like that.

Remember her blue hands? Well, her hands turned a little blue yesterday ...but then so did her fingernails and shirt.

"Luke, I think it may be my new jeans," she admitted sheepishly.

Ah, yes. That would explain it. Which is good. And that also makes sense why the doctor had no clue what was happening. But it still doesn't explain the heart issues.

And Brittany realized that if her heart hadn't been acting up recently, she probably would have figured out the dye thing a lot sooner. But because she had a preconceived notion of heart problems she perceived her problem as circulatory.

Thus, our perception of reality is closely linked to our presuppositions about what is happening.

That's why companies have to be so careful about what they say and do: People can easily misconstrue what you're doing based on their own ideas.

Today, at Sonlight, the topic revolved around "bargain" sites that sell Sonlight books for "less." These site owners use Sonlight's credibility to sell books for themselves.

But what to do?

Sonlight could easily be perceived as the bullies of the market who try to weasel every dollar out of people's pockets when compared to these "great deals." But Sonlight continues to put resources and thought into developing stellar curriculum, offering fantastic support, and building up a recognizable name. Sarita and her team carefully select each book, schedule it with helpful notes, and then package everything together with support and a guarantee like no other. And yet "bargain" sites use all of that to make a few bucks.

The other side of this, of course, is that Sonlight's name gets out there on the internet via these sites. But what happens when people start believing that "Sonlight" is just a bunch of books with a schedule? Then customers stop purchasing from Sonlight which develops, supports, and guarantees your homeschool experience.

And that's the real cost: Customers end up getting much less and the company that did the work to make it possible for you to enjoy this journey also suffers loss.

And then who will you call with your genuine support and curriculum questions?

Just a few musings from a guy who finds support incredibly useful, even if he should have realized the yellow paper issue himself.

~Luke Holzmann
Filmmaker, Writer, Expectant Father

...for the Bible tells me so. [link here]

I had a friend in high school who told me that she didn't read her Bible because it "whispers to me."

Upon further inquiry, she assured me that her Bible audibly gave her directions to do bad things.

Umm...

I didn't have a way to respond to that.

I still don't.

That little anecdotal bit was to demonstrate that I've heard a wide variety of Biblical claims, ranging from the thought-provoking to the implausible. And never were such issues more infuriating than while writing papers in Bible college. I had commentaries tell me that such and such a verse obviously said thus and such. Then the next commentary would assure me that the exact same verse said the opposite.

[Aside: Maybe that only happens when you try to write papers on "women in ministry" and "predestination vs. free will" because you're bored with all the easy topics. <smile>]

So now I'm rather wary when people claim the Bible says something. I do my best to consider the passage, the context, the rest of Scripture, as well as my own experience with the world and God when formulating an opinion.

I got on this train of thought today because of some responses I've been working on to various questions and posts. Questions surrounding easy topics like ecclesial form, origins of sin, and the definition of a "Christian filmmaker."

What resources do you use/trust to help you and your children wrestle through what we know the Bible tells us is so?

~Luke Holzmann
Filmmaker, Writer, Expectant Father

The Rice Bag Project is coming to a close. Please donate to Mission India by November 21, 2008. We are so grateful for your generous gifts! But as Mission India has stated:

Please do not send your loose change to us. The Rice Bags are yours to keep!

Let the following be a learning opportunity:

Expensive Rice Bag

This super sweet family mailed Sonlight their contribution. It cost over eight dollars to ship and ended up on my desk today.

I love you and your enthusiasm, but I guess I didn't communicate very clearly.

Sorry.

So now, for everyone else: PLEASE DON'T SEND THE BAG!

Instead of paying needless postage, use that $8 to help support an Indian woman's education. Click here to make a matched donation to Mission India. Be sure to mention this is for the "Sonlight Rice Bag Project" to make sure your donation is matched!

Thank you <smile>.

Update on Brittany

When I got home last night, my wife met me at the door. "The doctor wants me to get there early so I can get an EKG before she sees me."

Brittany also wanted me to be in the room while she got the EKG. "It's a learning opportunity," she said. The EKG came out normal, which was a little disappointing because that meant it didn't tell us anything.

The doctor was checking Brittany's pulse when her heart skipped a beat, so she no longer had to wonder if we were making it up <smile>. But, as I feared, she said she didn't know what was going on. "The heart just sometimes does that kind of thing," she told us.

But all is not lost. They'll be hooking Brittany up with a heart monitor for a while to see if they can figure out anything else. So, that will happen in a few days.

"Could I get a copy of that EKG?" I asked. The doctor gave me an odd look. "I'm a blogger," I added hastily, "and I like writing about what's been going on."

She smiled and handed me the paper.

Homeschool bloggers: We ask for odd stuff.

Brittany's EKG Readout

All in the name of learning opportunities <smile>.

~Luke Holzmann
Filmmaker, Writer, Expectant Father

I've had a few people ask me how my wife is doing. I haven't been able to give any updates because we haven't had any. The problem wasn't consistent enough to take her to the doctor, and I really didn't want to shell out the money if the doctor was just going to look at her and say, "Without more information, I can't really help."

Well, I got a call a few hours ago. It was Brittany and she said that her hands were turning a little blue.

Again, I channeled my inner doctor and came to the conclusion: That doesn't sound good.

So, after work I'm taking her to see the doctor. I'll try to remember to give you an update tomorrow, but if it's nothing exciting I may forget.

I'm just sayin'.

Put all that on the back burner for a second, and listen to this:

I know I often forget or don't bother to give updates or feedback because I don't realize I can, don't feel like I have time, or wonder if anyone cares.

Well, I just got out of a web meeting where I shared eight suggestions for making the purchasing system on Sonlight.com easier to navigate and understand.

Will all my suggestions get implemented? Well, certainly not right away because the web guys have more to do than just hop on whatever crazy idea I've come up with (shocking, I know). But they were very grateful for the feedback.

"That's very useful," Bo¹ said. "So often we fix something and say, 'There, we fixed it,' and don't even think about the usability."

So, please, please let the web guys know if you find something problematic or unclear on Sonlight.com. They really appreciate getting feedback from users.

~Luke Holzmann
Filmmaker, Writer, Expectant Father

P.S. The graphic is the "something bugs you" bug from Sonlight.com. Keep an eye out for him next time you're on the site <smile>. I think he's fantastic!

¹Bo has played such parts as the circuit painter, Mugsy, and he'll be showing up again as Tex Return in MathTacular4!

I picked up a phrase from my mom that I enjoy oft repeating. Whenever lunch is over, or I need to get back to working on something, I say, "Well, it's back to the salt mines."

Hilarious. ...at least, I think it is <smile>.

And I was reminded of slaving away in salt mines today while listening to Amy Bayliss talk on the first ever Heartbeat Live. If you missed it, there will be another next week so check it out. But you did miss a good talk and the first ever show that was sponsored by Sonlight and hosted by yours truly.

You can stop crying now if you missed me. The loss is great, but not that great.

Where was I before I got off on the topic of me? Oh yes...

Amy made the point that while money is important, it's much better to pursue a job in something you love. Money should not be the driving force. You will be much happier, more relaxed, and feel more alive if you are doing what you should be doing, not just slaving away in the salt mines to make ends meet.

The quote that I have long loved that goes along with this is: "Find a job you love and never work a day in your life."

Granted, there are days when doing anything will feel like the salt mines, but you should love what you are doing. And that, I'm told, is the difference between a "job" and a "vocation." A job is something you do to pay the bills. A vocation is something you do because you love it, and it happens to pay the bills too.

You should love your homeschooling experience as well. Now, I'm not a proponent of switching homeschooling methods all the time, but if you're not loving your homeschooling experience overall, you may want to reconsider the tools you're using and the way you are using them.

This is why even though Sonlight strives to offer the absolute best of the best materials, there are still sometimes options. Take math as an example: Some kids thrive on the repetitive nature of problem worksheets, others can only focus if they have something to touch, while other kids are fine as long as there is some color and application.

Would you like some help in thinking these options through?

I haven't plugged these in a while, and I'm thrilled to remind you about the Forums and the SCAs. Both of these are fantastic resources from homeschooling moms who have found a vocation--or hobby--in helping others.

And I love that.

~Luke Holzmann
Filmmaker, Writer, Expectant Father