My 15 Seconds of Fame

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I was working away yesterday
Upon a thing or two.
When what should I see coming at me
But a coworker out of the blue.

"Right now, this moment, this very time
"The radio station is playing
"A bit about homeschoolers and awkwardness,
"So you should see what they're saying."

I decided to call. The busy wall
It stopped me once or twice.
Once finally through, they said "Hellu?"
I said, "Homeschooling's a blessing, not vice."

"I see. Uh-huh. That's very nice,"
The screener said back to me.
"I'll let them know, and thank you so
"For calling and talking with me."


I didn't get on the air. Instead, they talked with a woman who "had" to homeschool because of her daughter's recent surgery.

"How's it going?" the DJ asked.

"Horrible," the woman exclaimed, "I hate it!"

They also chatted with a guy who felt that his homeschool experience had been bad and he definitely wouldn't do it with his children, even though he had somehow turned out okay.

The last caller they got was very positive about her homeschool experience, but all they wanted to know was the age at which she lost her virginity... which somehow related to not being a dork and properly socialized.

Perhaps it's good I didn't get on.

Still, it's bothersome when the media end a segment on homeschooling by saying, "All right, I think we've established: If you don't want your kid to ever have relations... homeschool 'em."

Where did they come up with that?

 ~Luke Holzmann
Filmmaker, Writer, Expectant Father

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