Okay, I’m going to be straight with you here. When you are homeschooling with a baby, you are in the trenches of motherhood. Your clothes are wrinkly, your eyes are carrying bags the size of a grapefruits, and you constantly get whiffs of soured milk, probably from your own shoulder—your sweet baby’s favorite place to drool and spit up.
You don’t even have time to take a shower, and that’s a basic need. How on earth will you practice self-care in this stage of life?
Admittedly, it's not easy to find margin for self-care as a homeschool mom in the baby years! But there are things you can do to take care of yourself with the same loving attention you give your precious children.
1. Give Yourself Grace
Buckets of grace.
You will not get everything done.
You will not have a spotless house.
You will not have gourmet (or even balanced!) dinners every night.
It’s okay. It's all okay.
Sit down with your husband and go over the list of non-negotiables. For me, I have to have a clean kitchen. It’s a must, or I won’t cook. My husband wears uniforms to work, so his non-negotiable is clean uniforms. So my priorities are making sure that we have a clean kitchen and clean uniforms. Anything else can wait, guilt-free.
2. Say No to What Adds Stress
When my girls were babies, I said no to a lot of activities outside the home including a homeschool co-op. While co-ops are fantastic, at the time, it was one thing that I didn’t have to put on my plate. So I didn’t.
Years later, I see that it was a good decision. And now that my kids are older, we can participate in co-ops and thoroughly enjoy it! Your no may look different than mine, and that’s okay.
3. Say Yes to What Fills Your Tank
Sometimes in the baby stage of life, we start throwing out too many nos. Be careful! There are some really great yeses out there too—sometimes in unexpected places.
When I had babies, I was able to attend Bible Study Fellowship one morning each week. They had a children’s department, and it was a huge blessing to be able to drop them off and go spend time with grown-ups. While it was something else on my plate, this was a great, yes because it replenished me.
I also continued serving at church during these years, in areas where I would have a teaching partner or some adult interaction. An hour at church with another adult did wonders for me.
4. Use the Conveniences You Can Afford
I get it...we are homeschoolers. Many of us are struggling on one salary. There is little extra cash laying around. What I suggest you do, though, is take the little extra and do what you can with it.
When my girls were toddling underfoot and I was busy homeschooling my first grader, we hired a housekeeper to come once a week. We have never had a lot of money, and at the time it felt ridiculous and frivolous. But it really saved my sanity during that stage. Once a week, my housekeeper helped get me caught up to make it through another week.
I think this also applies to simpler services too like grocery pick-up. Spending an extra five extra dollars saves me from spending two hours wandering aisles, telling my child, “No, we aren’t getting five packages of candy bars" and keeping babies in the shopping cart!
Um...yes, please. Take my $5!
When I was a teenager, but not yet old enough to baby-sit, I offered to be a mother’s helper. I asked a mother of preschoolers if I could come over for a day and help her with her kids. She allowed it, and I had the best day baby-sitting. I think she got quite a bit done that day, too. You may be surprised to find a young person who would be willing to do something similar for free or for very little payment.
5. Set Aside Time for Yourself
I am addicted to productivity; my hobbies even center around being productive. But in the baby stage of life, it’s important that you set up regular time to just chill. My favorite thing to do when my kids are gone for an afternoon is pick up a to-go lunch, come home, and watch my favorite Netflix show in bed. When you get a rare afternoon to yourself, don’t to clean the house from ceiling to floor. Lavish attention on yourself!
The great thing about this tip is that you don’t even have to be alone. Do something with your babies just because. Go out and blow bubbles or lay in the grass and read. Enjoy and savor the moment.
One of the still frames of my mind was on a day that I had decided to drop everything and go outside to push my kids on the swing. The dirty dishes sat in the sink, and the floor was nasty, but I still remember my son’s face perfectly, and I remember how my daughter’s curls framed her face.
The days are long, but the years are short. You’ll want those memories one day, so be sure to make them.
It’s a good idea to limit the amount of things you have, which in turn, limits the amount of cleaning you do. Be careful not to fall into the trap of having every new baby gadget. You can get by with far less than you think, I promise!
7. Talk to Grown-Ups
FaceTime, Skype, Marco Polo, the good old fashioned phone call...these are all ways to stay connected to grown-ups. Every day, try to make it a point to reach out to a fellow grown-up:
commiserate about the state of your house
swap stories of what your kids did
solve the world’s problems
Create a circle of grown-ups that you can stay connected to throughout the tough years of child-rearing. It’s worth it to cultivate friendships now. If a friendship can survive raising babies, you can bet that you have a lifelong friend!
8. Prioritize Bible Study
Draw close to God. He will replenish you far more than any fizzy bath or spa day. Trust Him for all your needs, and talk to him when you feel lonely or overwhelmed. There is no one who understands tired moms better than God.
Cast your cares upon Him. He will sustain you.
There’s no getting around it...these years are just tough. There is no magic formula for getting more me time. Chances are that you won’t find a lot of alone time, so you have to maximize what you do find. You’ll need to let go of some of the Type A personality, and let a few things slide.
Find the beauty in your everyday reality, with an understanding that time slips through your fingers like water. You can’t hold onto it and you’ll never get it back, so use it wisely while you have it. You will need to remember, precious Mama, that even if your house is a mess and your hair isn’t washed, you are a good mom because you love your kids. Period.
Please meet and join us in congratulating these remarkable Sonlight-educated students poised to make a difference in the world. As the winners of our annual Sonlight scholarship competition, they have each been awarded each with $20,000, $10,000 or $4,000 for college.
Many of these students have used Sonlight since they were young. They’re headed into careers in engineering, medicine, sciences, filmmaking and more. Most are headed to their college of choice, and many have superb SAT or ACT scores.
But they are also kind, big-hearted young adults. Through ministry and volunteerism, they live life with Jesus in their hearts and long to share God’s kingdom with the world.
$20,000 Scholarship Winners: Abram Coleman of Augusta, GA and Katelyn Spradley of La Mirada, CA
$5,000 per year
Abram Coleman
Abram Coleman of Augusta, GA is the fifth of six children. The family began using Sonlight midway through the schooling of the oldest child (the oldest two are now physicians, the third is a Ph.D. Candidate, and the fourth in college). Abram is the third Coleman to use Sonlight materials all 12 years of school. A National Merit Finalist, he scored an 800 in Math and a 720 in Verbal on the SAT, earned a 790 on the SAT II in Chemistry, and received Summa Cum Laude and a Gold Medal twice for the National Latin Exam. He designed a vehicle powered by two unaltered mousetraps that pushed a cup forward 3 meters, before reversing direction, and placed third in the State Science Olympiad. A dual-enrolled student, his college calculus professor at Augusta University said, “I have been teaching for more than twenty years and Abram is among the brightest students I have taught.” And even with all that, he has time for chorus and drama! One mentor comments, "Abram represents himself, his family and his Lord with integrity, kindness and boldness. He typifies the young person that we pray will come from our homes, our churches and our schools." His mother describes him as "a knight in shining armor" for his younger sister. "I smile as I watch him walk into church with an arm around a 13-year-old sister who adores him." Abram intends to study engineering in the fall.
Katelyn Spradley
Katelyn Spradley, lately of Skopje, Macedonia used Sonlight all the way through and had an SAT score of 1570 and is a National Merit Finalist. She is fluent in Macedonian, and in high school she played on a basketball team with rival ethnic groups (Macedonian and Albanian), a rare opportunity. Early on there was (as feared) a significant lack of unity on the team. Katelyn, the only American on the team, related graciously to all the players. Selected as captain of the team, she led by example and developed relationships and fostered good will among all members, promoting unselfish teamwork on the court. Katelyn’s leadership and playing skills contributed to an unexpected trip to the championship game. She spent several years volunteering at a children’s oncology ward. When her family spent her freshman year living with Katelyn’s grandmother, disabled from a stroke and some dementia, Katelyn frequently helped with the care, and even took over one weekend when her parents were away, making sure her grandmother was fed, clothed, and bathed. Katelyn had planned to be a nurse, but has since set her sights on medical missions, where she hopes to minister to those who are forgotten, and so share the truth of the greatness of God and build his kingdom. She begins her higher education at Biola University in La Mirada, CA.
$10,000 Scholarship Winners: Aaron Holt of Siler City, NC and Josh Carroll of Englewood, OH
$2,500 per year
Aaron Holt
Aaron Holt of Siler City, NC used Sonlight through middle and high school, until he started college as a dual-enrolled student. He had a perfect 36 on the English portion of his ACT, and a total score of 34, and was a Commended Student in the National Merit Scholarship Program. An enthusiastic science student, he developed and taught a Summer Science Camp for elementary students in his home. With a creation-based theme, always pointing to our Creator God as the source of all things seen and unseen, he made the children excited about learning. Mothers continue to tell him stories about how his former campers say, “Aaron taught me that in summer camp!” In 2017, he attended the 2-week residential Duke TIP Field Study, where his instructors described his astrobiology presentation as “well-researched, innovative, and well-presented.” And in 2018, he attended a similar program at Harvard, where his chalkboard-based final presentation, “Explaining Endothermic/Exothermic Reactions with PIAB,” was voted best topic and presenter by his classmates. Aaron has been involved in various ministries, included a mission trip to Cuba to help construct a church building, and another mission trip with Hope for Appalachia. With his grandfather, he has logged over 300 hours with Meals on Wheels, bringing meals weekly to local seniors. He intends to study physics. As he says, “We often have trouble associating hard sciences with anything other than outspoken atheism. If I were to achieve a high degree in physics, I may end up being one of the only Christians in my workplace, and one of the only witnesses for Christ my co-workers ever see. Hopefully, through the testimony of my Christian lifestyle, I can help bring someone to Christ simply by doing something I enjoy doing anyway.”
Josh Carroll
Josh Carroll of Englewood, OH, a Sonlighter since 2006, spent most of his childhood in Uganda. An incredibly creative young man, he can hear a song once and play it on the piano. He has played the djembe (an African drum) since he was very young, drumming as part of worship teams in both Uganda and the United States. He is a gifted artist and designer, which he has used in creating his own realistic sets for his Lego movies. He is gifted at telling stories and communicating truth through visuals, with a keen eye for creating moods with lighting and setup, shooting from the right angles, and editing the flow of shots in order to have maximum impact on the hearts of those who watch his movies. He has a YouTube channel with many Lego Bible short films. He recently finished a 30 minute Lego film, “The Passion,” where he learned to manage movie budgets, hire and direct voice actors, work with professional music composers, and write, shoot, edit, and create visual effects for an entire movie. Apart from his creativity, his father writes, “Many times, when we were temporarily in the States, mothers of his friends organized birthday parties completely around when Joshua was available, not only because their sons wanted him to be there but because the parents loved the influence he had on their sons and they wanted him to be there.” Josh intends to study filmmaking, as a tool to fulfill his larger ambition: to be a disciple maker. “Even though professionally I will be a ‘filmmaker,’ my identity is a disciple of Christ. I want to be a man who walks alongside people, who loves them, and who helps them see who Jesus is.”
$4,000 Scholarship Winners
$1,000 per year
Grace Aukerman
Grace Aukerman of Osceola, IN, a Sonlighter all the way through, grew up in Albania, a post-communist and predominantly Muslim country. Albania’s weak economy, corrupt legal and school systems, and lack of employment have caused many Albanians to feel trapped and to lose faith in their country’s future. In the midst of these bleak circumstances, Grace has had the honor of seeing many of her neighbors and closest friends change, learn and grow—not because of changing circumstances, but because of the presence of Jesus in their lives. As one team member said, after serving alongside Grace for three years, “Even though Grace wasn’t on payroll, I considered her just as much a missionary as anyone else on our team. Grace is one of the most influential missionaries I’ve seen. She took the time to learn the language fluently and embraced Albanian culture as her own. Often Albanians would comment on her language abilities and how she speaks exactly like an Albanian. Grace can genuinely connect with girls her age and have authentic relationships with them. Many teenage girls looked to Grace for wisdom.” Grace has led six children's ballet and art camps. She’s volunteered as a camp counselor for three years with Child Evangelism Fellowship in Albania, and volunteered at a therapeutic horse ranch for a few months. She often encourages others by blessing them with a piece of art. Grace intends to study Evangelism, Compassion, and Social Justice. Her dream is to use this degree to serve children, teens, and adults, preferably somewhere outside of the U.S.
Hannah Chang
Hannah Chang of Kirksville, MO, homeschooled with Sonlight from the beginning, did not find school easy, as she deals with both Attention Deficit Disorder and dyslexia. This didn’t just make school challenging. As her mother said, though she started violin at age 7, “She played by ear for many years because she just couldn’t get the hang of reading the music.” Today, though, through persistence, she is concertmaster of her high school orchestra and plays hymns for homebound believers. Her family has a large rabbitry, usually with about 100-150 rabbits. Hannah and her siblings needed to figure out how to cooperate to get all the chores done as quickly as possible. Hannah is a member of the American Rabbit Breeders Association, and has won various titles, such as Missouri State Rabbit Producers Association Princess and Duchess, and is am a multi-time state showmanship champion. A few years ago, she accompanied a Christian couple and their family in their move to Lebanon to reach out to Muslims and Syrian refugees. Hannah stayed with them for the first few weeks there, helping with the numerous children while they became acclimated to their new surroundings. She flew back to the States on her own. She plans to become a Registered Nurse, and then return to Lebanon. As she said, “As a country, Lebanon has the highest refugee to citizen ratio of any nation in the world. Over one million refugees from Syria alone have already sought asylum in Lebanon, and many of them do not have adequate shelter, food, or medical attention.”
Esther Helm
Esther Helm of Winston Salem, NC scored a 1520 on her SAT, and a 35 on her ACT (with both English and Reading with a perfect 36). She spent her childhood in Africa, where her parents served until she was 12 years old. Since returning to the States, she helped welcome an Ethiopian refugee family, watching their three younger children when the parents needed to be away from the house, and trying to engage the very shy teenager when at church during youth activities. In her youth group, a few teenagers have special needs. Her youth group leader said that “Esther is a leader for the group when it comes to treating these students with care and kindness. She makes a point to always greet these youth, as well as including them in our discussion and activities. When I divide the youth into small groups, I make sure to always place Esther with the ‘toughest’ group because I know she will make everyone feel welcomed, and that she can efficiently lead the group in a productive, Christ-focused discussion.” She recently returned to West Africa, where she led a week of Bible school activities in French for children of the West African expatriate church she attended while growing up, and she spent time encouraging other expatriate teenagers living in that desert country. She gladly wore the dress of the Muslim majority there so that others would feel comfortable around her and more willing to interact with her. A three-sport athlete (volleyball, basketball, and softball), she plans to get a liberal arts degree in International Affairs.
Rose Raquet
Rosemary (Rose) Raquet of Beavercreek, OH, a Sonlighter since third grade, plays piano, viola, and harp. A leader in the youth orchestra, she has been principal viola for the last three years, as well as playing in a string quartet, and being hand-picked to participate in Project Protégé, in which she gets to play with the adult professional Springfield Orchestra for several concerts over two years. She was given the “Conductor’s Award” one year to recognize her positive attitude and leadership traits, and she has started to teach piano. Rose has a way of seeing needs and finding creative ways to meet them. For example, a family in her church ended up adopting four young boys over a short period of time, and they were understandably feeling overwhelmed. Rose begged to provide physical support for that family on a weekly basis. To this day, the mother of that family talks about how much of a blessing Rose has been to them, and Rose was recently invited to go on vacation with them, because “everything goes more smoothly when Rose is around.” At 15, she went to the Middle East for six months. A family had moved there, and in order to allow both parents to continue language study, they needed help with their four children. Rose didn’t just babysit: she played an integral part in the homeschooling of the children, and also helped with meals, laundry, cleaning, and even continuing her own school work. Furthermore, she also received regular cultural lessons as she went along with the wife to visit the neighbors. All of this would be a difficult task for any mother, not to mention a 15-year-old high school student, thousands of miles away from her family, her friends, and anything normal. She looks forward to using her abilities to help in areas such as music, children, outreach, organizing events and decoration.
Sarah Reiter
Sarah Reiter of Tucson, AZ scored a 1500 on her SAT. A Sonlighter throughout her middle and high school years, she is currently studying both World History and Literature, and British Literature—a very full course load of reading.
She has served as her youth group’s worship leader for the last five years, assisted with various children’s ministries, and taught a music class at a Summer Arts Festival.
She was highly praised for her ability to keep children engaged. She has gone to Mexico twice with her youth group, working to build houses for people in need. In 2018, she went to the Dominican Republic, where she learned about the efforts of International Justice Mission, helped fix an orphanage’s roof, and built a building for the water filtration system. She plans to go to Embry-Riddle Aeronautical University to study Cyber Intelligence and Security.
Kiley Carmack
Kiley Carmack of Gulfport, MS, a Sonlighter through her middle and high school years, is a second degree black belt. She participates in weekly fundraisers for the owner of her Martial Arts studio. The owner is fighting cancer without insurance, and the weekly bake sale helps to raise funds for her treatment. Kiley also serves at a local soup kitchen, and visits two local nursing homes. One woman writes, “I am the conservator for a senior citizen deaf-mute, and Kiley has been of tremendous assistance interpreting for me, as I do not know ASL. Kiley’s concern has resulted in her visiting my ward on a regular basis; often times bearing gifts and entertaining with rhythmic sign language, to words of beautiful songs.” Kiley began learning sign language when she was about nine. Some years later, she read that only 2% of deaf individuals become Christians. “All I could think about was why are the other 98% missing an opportunity for salvation? There are numerous mission groups designed to spread the gospel, sadly however, many are unable to find trained interpreters to teach the deaf and hard-of-hearing.” She has started her college studies through dual enrollment, and looks forward to continuing them, with the career ambition to teach the Bible to the deaf-mute students.
Mika Muresan
Mika Muresan of Montgomery Village, MD earned a 35 on his ACT (with a perfect 36 in Science) and a 1500 on his SAT. He has had multiple first place finishes in his state’s Science Olympiad, where his team has been 2-time State Champions.
An enthusiastic golfer, he earned a spot at the Joe Louis Barrow, Jr. National Life Skill and Leadership Academy and was voted “2018 Most Outstanding Participant.” with The First Tee.
He has logged over 450 volunteer hours at the National Museum of Natural History, the highest performing volunteer at the museum, and completed an internship there. He’s on the swim team, participates weekly in a food ministry, serves on the Audio Video team at church, and is currently working on raising and training his second service dog. He hopes to become a researching spinal neurosurgeon, focusing especially on MS, Parkinson’s, and Alzheimer’s.
Madison Theil
Madison Theil of Cincinnati, OH, a Sonlighter since elementary school, has accomplished a tremendous amount. A National Speech Finalist with the National Christian Forensics and Communications Association. A leading performer in three Shakespeare plays, including Boyet in Love’s Labour’s Lost, Portia in The Merchant of Venice, and Coriolanus in Coriolanus. In her 12 years in Girl Scouts, she earned both Bronze and Silver Awards. She spent five weeks in Israel with an internship at an organization whose mission is supporting Christian organizations in Israel. After her childhood piano teacher sought Madison to be a teacher in her studio, Madison took intensiveweek long courses to become a certified Musikgarten curriculum teacher in Pre-Piano and Beginning Piano, and started teaching. In her own advanced piano studies, she has earned numerous accolades, including the Gino James DiMario Scholarship in 2016, second place in the Great Composers Best Bach International Competition 2018, and Semifinalist in the Cincinnati Overture Awards 2018. Madison was blessed to be born into a family with an intentional focus on spiritual training and understanding the heart of God and how that impacts our daily life, and she participates wholly in her family’s mission to build into young families. As the head counselor at summer camps at the University of Cincinnati Conservatory of Music, she worked with at-risk teens as part of a scholarship program. As students tried various art forms for the first time, they were suddenly creators, and they came to life! She says, “It was amazing giving freedom to those students through the camp. It didn’t matter if they were talented or new to the art, they were allowed and encouraged to create. It welled up in me a dream of giving students like these the opportunities to reflect God’s character through their creativity.” Madison hopes to attend Miami University, with a degree in Music and a minor in Business. Her biggest dream is to form a piano studio that is an interdisciplinary hub of self-expression for impoverished and at-risk communities.
Jacob Uhler
Jacob Uhler of Dayton, OH has used Sonlight since 2006. When his mom pointed out that, with the college classes he was enrolled in for the upcoming year he already had twice as many social sciences as he needed for graduation, he asked if he could still do Sonlight’s new World History and Worldview Studies program along with his college US History, Psychology, and Anthropology courses. He participated in the Duke Talent Identification Program for fourth and fifth graders and then took his first SAT through the Johns Hopkins Center for Talented Youth in seventh grade. In 2015, 2016, and 2017, he ran the Air Force Half Marathon, placing second in the 14-and-under boys age bracket during the 2015 race. In 2017, he played Gaston in Beauty and the Beast. His voice teacher praised him for continuing lessons in order to improve his singing for the role. “It was most impressive that Jacob wanted to pour outside time and work into the role beyond the hectic musical theatre rehearsal schedule that he already was facing and had the humility to say, ‘maybe I could be better.’” His mother writes, “Since we are a military family who moves often (three years of which were spent overseas) and never has family nearby, Jacob has had to step up during each of his dad’s nine deployments to help with tasks from yard work and mouse trap disposal to changing diapers and making dinner at a much younger age than many of his peers.” Jacob plans to study either global business, accounting, history, or a combination of the three, then hopes to go to law school.
Could Your Young Learner Win a Sonlight Scholarship?
From preschool through high school graduation, Sonlight prepares your students. We have the big picture in mind, and we help you raise students prepared to launch into any career God calls them to. We share your desire to help your children succeed, and we’ll walk alongside to help you create the long-term educational experience you envision.
Each year, our charitable foundation offers a number of college scholarships, ranging from $4,000 to $20,000, spread over four years. Each year, the Sonlight Foundation offers the following scholarships:
$5,000/year
$2,500/year
$1,000/year
We offer scholarships on two tracks: one emphasizes academics, and the other creativity, missions-mindedness, and service. Got a perfect score on the SAT? Got average test scores, but served overseas during summer vacation for the last three years? In either case, you may qualify.
The Sonlight Foundation recognizes that academic giftedness is only one type of giftedness. If your student is gifted in academics, service, music, art, or has a heart for missions, we encourage you to submit an application.
But Sonlight has never tried to dictate everything for you to believe or say to your children while teaching them. As I see it, Sonlight's job is to provide the tools and support you need to be free to love and guide your children.
Sonlight Includes All the Materials You Need
In fact, we strive to provide you with all the tools you need to teach your children. That's why your big Sonlight boxes of curriculum can easily weigh 60 pounds (and be a tad overwhelming for many moms). We provide you the books, materials and lesson plans for each day of an entire school year.
We want you to have everything you need so you don't have to research and vet programs or run to the store or the library. You are not only homeschooling but also parenting, caring for the home, doing the laundry, preparing meals, and more. You are busy! My goal is to free you up to do what you do best: loving, caring for, and guiding your children.
Sonlight is Education Not Indoctrination
I do craft our curriculum to help you raise your children in the love of Christ, with the goal of helping them become ambassadors for Him. But when it comes to the specific nuances of your faith and practice, I don't wish to tell you what to think.
I think it far more important that you help your children know God and learn to think critically about what they believe than it is for me to tell you to believe a specific dogma within orthodox Christianity.
You can read and discuss all these topics and ideas, or choose those that are most interesting to you.
In some of Sonlight’s Language Arts programs, especially at the lower levels, you’ll find scripts to help you teach. You don’t have to try to remember grammar rules or parts of language from your own schooling days—you’ll know exactly what to say. How your children implement those ideas? That’s unique to each student.
Even though Sonlight gives you lots of structure throughout each day, your children get more than someone reading from a scripted lesson. They get you—with all your enthusiasm, your questions, your snuggles, your experiences and your insights.
Some children are advanced readers who excel at reading. Either they read naturally without a lot of instruction, or they learn it effortlessly after a few lessons and quickly zoom way ahead of grade level. If you have an advanced reader like this, you may be surprised by the lack of information about homeschooling kids in this camp. There's lots of information on how to teach children who struggle with reading, but advanced readers don't get much attention even though they have unique needs, too! Here are seven questions that homeschooling parents of advanced readers tend to ask along with my own answers based on experiences with my children.
Q. Do I Have to Teach Reading if They’re Reading Already?
If your child is reading at a 4th to 5th grade reading level at age 5, you might not need to teach reading per se, but many early, advanced readers still benefit from introducing at least some phonics lessons.
If your child breezes through reading lessons, seems to have a great grasp of phonics, and doesn't need help spelling, chances are you can skip those lessons. But if your child seems to need a little extra help in those areas, it’s worth going over the rules.
Q. Why Can’t My Child Write Well if They’re Already Reading Well?
While reading and writing are related skills, advanced readers aren't automatically great writers. Reading is decoding. It’s like being able to translate a message sent in secret code.
Writing, however, is different. It’s like trying to figuring out how to translate your own message into a code. It’s much more complicated and requires more mental work than reading does. Most children learn to read well before they learn to write well.
Q. Should I Choose Sonlight’s Language Arts Program Based on My Child’s Reading Level or Writing Level?
Gifted readers don’t need a lot of reading instruction or practice, but they often still need help writing, spelling, and understanding grammar. Sonlight allows you to build your own program, mixing and matching reading and language arts levels, but you will want to choose your language arts based upon your child’s writing levels. It’s always easier to add extra or more challenging books to your child's stack of Readers than it is to make a complete language arts level less difficult.
Q. What Do I Do if I Run Out of Reading Levels for My Child?
Sonlight offers a variety of reading levels for programs before History / Bible / Literature (HBL) D. However, starting with HBL D, your child should ideally be able to use the D Readers and Language Arts D because a lot of the history is found in the Readers. Using a different Reader level at that point can be done, but it does take away from the comprehensive nature of the program.
Below HBL D, Sonlight offers a variety of readers in Kindergarten through 4th grade with matching Language Arts programs. Some parents might find their children are reading above a fourth grade level before they finish with all the HBL programs below D. There are several options for these parents:
repeat a lower reading program
supplement with additional materials from elsewhere
create their own reading program
But many advanced readers are also avid readers, reading more than the required readers would have asked for anyway. These children don’t really need to have scheduled readers to encourage them to read every day or need graded readers to help them advance in ability. They will be fine with 20 minutes (or more) a day of free reading time.
Q. What if My Child Always Wants to Read Ahead?
There’s more than one correct answer to this question!
Some parents restrict their children to reading only what’s on the schedule for schoolwork while allowing them to read as much as they want in their recreational reading.
Other parents allow their children to read any readers at any time, knowing they will be able to relate back to the books as needed.
Still other parents will have the child start the book when the schedule calls for it, but allow the child to finish the book early, and read something else until the next book is scheduled.
Q. Can I Give My Child Some of the History Books and Read-Alouds to Read (in Addition to the Readers)?
You’ll also find many of the books have considerably harder vocabulary, and are longer, with a smaller font, making the reading load much heavier than just adding books at your child's reading level. Your children might get overwhelmed with the amount of reading or miss part of the content because they don’t have a full grasp of what they are reading.
So, while you can hand the books to your children to supplement their reading, I would advise you do so with caution. It’s easier for the parent, especially busy parents like myself, who have a lot of children and not a lot of hours to teach in, to just hand a book to a child to read, but it might not always be best for the children. Some children will handle some of these extra books well, but not all.
Q. What Can I Use for More Readers?
If you need to design a reading program for an avid reader on your own, You've got lots of options!
Look for retired Sonlight books (books from older Sonlight programs that are no longer used).
We love to add in sequels and books by the same author.
I also like to peruse other literature-based curricula and sprinkle in their books for readers, although I do have to warn that on several occasions, we have found books that I would consider less than appropriate for the age level of the child reading the book or behavior in the book that we would strongly disapprove of.
Classics still make good reading material today.
Used book sales and libraries will often provide hidden treasures.
The goal is to get them reading, and once reading, to encourage them to read material that will interest them, help them learn, and keep them reading.
You’ll find that most avid readers read everything: cereal boxes, street signs, the little brochures in the waiting room. They need less instruction on how to read and more guidance in finding great books. I learned early on that there was no way to keep my children in enough readers. They would go through dozens of books a week from the library and read their entire weeks’ worth of reading in an hour or so on the first day of the week. However, I encouraged their reading by offering them a variety of good books so they were always learning something new and learning to appreciate high quality literature.
Sonlight will grow with your child, providing high quality books to read every year. While you might find yourself low on readers for a short while, there will be readers coming up that will help your child grown and stretch, even if they are already advanced. Children who are great readers will continue to be great readers with Sonlight.
I love words—all kinds of words, believing that that words, whether spoken or written, carry power and influence. I have always particularly loved written words. When I was young, I kept a journal to document my life and feelings. When I got older, I regularly sent handwritten notes to people who needed extra encouragement. In high school, I breezed through composition classes. In college, I wrote my own papers and helped my husband write his. After college, I felt a little lost. The profession I had chosen didn’t require regular writing opportunities. So you can imagine when, around a decade ago, I discovered blogs. I was hooked. I knew that I would be writing for the rest of my life, even if no one else read it.
So when it came time to teach my first child the art of writing, I was confident. Maybe a little too confident, because about a month into the endeavor, I was disappointed, to put it mildly. My oldest child did not find writing to be cathartic in any way. Instead, even the act of putting the letters on paper seemed to be the most unnatural task he had ever tried. After about a year of fighting through, we decided to go to an occupational therapist. As it turned out, my son had something called dysgraphia, which to put simply is when the act of writing with pencil and paper is literally too difficult due to a lack of fine motor dexterity.
After that diagnosis, I knew that I had to up my game. I had to find a way to get him writing. So over the past seven years, that’s exactly what I’ve been doing: coming up with creative ideas to get my boy to see the value in words. Here are 6 of the most helpful techniques that have worked with him. I hope they help you reach your struggling writer!
1. Separate Penmanship and Composition
My son had, and still has, horrible penmanship, but his mind is brilliant. He has all kinds of great ideas floating around up there just waiting to flow out onto paper. But, penmanship really bogs him down. I realized several years back that these are actually two separate subjects.
Penmanship is a measure of how well your child forms his letters.
Composition is how well your child communicates ideas.
I knew that I needed to separate these two subjects for my son to be successful.
When your child composes, do not count off points for or criticize penmanship. Composition and penmanship are always separate.
2. Use Oral Narration Often
Thankfully, about the time we realized that Isaac had dysgraphia, we were in the process of switching over to Sonlight curriculum. Sonlight taught me that I don’t need to require my child to write in every subject. We used oral narration heavily, especially in the early years when we were working to develop those essential fine motor skills.
Keep in mind that public schools require writing in most subjects because it’s the easiest way to assess large groups of children at once, not because it is the correct or only way to assess.
In subjects like science, history, Bible, and reading, have your child narrate what they learned from the reading assignment back to you instead of writing. You can keep a simple record of their narration in your Instructor’s Guide if you choose.
3. Have Your Child Dictate
I mentioned earlier that in college I would often help my husband write his papers. My husband never needed help on the content of these papers, but he struggles with Attention Deficit Disorder, so we learned that he needed to pace while he wrote. He would pace the room and say what he wanted in his paper while I would type it. All the ideas were his own. I simply was the secretary.
This same idea can apply when homeschooling. When my struggling writer needs to write, he will tell me what he wants on paper, and I will write or type it. The catch is that I will write or type it with no punctuation, no capital letters, and no formatting. Once we put his ideas on paper, he goes through and corrects the grammar and formatting. Then, he will either retype or rewrite the entire paper in small sections each day. He has written some truly spectacular compositions using this method.
If you have multiple children or do not have the time to devote to this kind of writing process, the recorder feature on your smartphone can be used in a similar fashion.
Act as your child’s scribe, writing down everything they say. Then, have them go through the first draft to revise, edit, and create the final draft.
4. Start a Mom & Me Journal
The Mom & Me Journal has been a huge part of getting my children writing. For us, this is a simple spiral bound notebook that they have decorated, and it usually includes some type of warning on the cover that goes something like this: “For Mom’s & Hannah’s Eyes Only.” I will write to them, talking about something that has been on my mind, and then I’ll ask an open-ended question. Then I’ll put it on their bed or their desk. They will write me back and put it on my bed or desk. The notebook will float back and forth.
I do hold to a few rules with the Mom & Me Journal. First, I never correct grammar, format, or spelling. I only model it in my own writing back. Secondly, I never critique their content. I may ask, “Why do you think that is so?” or “What could you do to change this?” but nothing more.
I have also been known to occasionally even sneak a writing assignment into the journal. For example, I might say, “If you could go anywhere in the world, where would you go and why?” This is the beginning of a future composition paper about a travel destination.
I also use the Mom & Me Journal to get insight into how my kids are feeling. They are much more apt to write down when they are feeling sad or hurt than they are to say it. So we also talk about heart issues in the journal.
Keep an open dialogue and model correct grammar, spelling, and formatting with a Mom & Me Journal.
"Thank goodness for the Diamond Notes system we've learned from Sonlight. We have about 10 weeks left of Language Arts 3 and get a big kick out of looking back at his writing ability at the beginning of the year versus now."
Amanda D. of Montgomery, AL
5. Show and Examine Examples of Great Writing
I am a fan of children being surrounded by great literature. Of course, Sonlight does a fantastic job of this! Each week, in the elementary to middle school years of Sonlight Language Arts, the first assignment is a copywork passage from the current reading. This is tempting to skip, but it is so important.
Instead of glossing over these passages, sink deep into them. Examine what makes it a great passage. Notice the punctuation, and allow them to ask questions. Encourage them to copy the passage slowly and carefully.
A few weeks ago, my seventh grader, who is currently working through Sonlight HBL G World History, came across the topic of primary and secondary support sentences within a paragraph. We took the examples provided and dissected them. He used three different colors to highlight the topic sentence, primary, and secondary support sentences. It was such a treat for me when, after doing this exercise, he looked at his own writing sample, highlighted it, and realized that he actually had only included a topic sentence and secondary support. He hadn’t included any primary support at all! We added a couple of primary support sentences, and he was immediately able to see how the organization drastically improved his writing. Because we spent time examining good passages, he was able to pinpoint where his own work was lacking.
Examine exemplary writing samples often. Read and study the work of great authors. (Don't skip the copywork assignments!)
6. Model Writing
In the early years of elementary school, shared writing is common in schools and homeschools alike. But, as kids get older, this falls by the wayside. We need to remember that sometimes children are not quite ready to take off the training wheels when we think they should be. If you have a struggling writer, you may consider extending the shared writing season another year or two.
Shared writing is simply writing a story or paragraph together. You contribute some, and your child will contribute some. Remember that this is not about whose ideas are included in the story. Rather, shared writing is all about modeling good writing practices. As you sit beside your child and create a story with them, you will be modeling the writing process as well as correct grammar, spelling, and formatting. I am always encouraged by how my child’s writing evolves after my modeling. Many times, improvement doesn’t require us to say anything. It only requires us showing them.
Take every opportunity to model good composition skills. Remember that writing does not have to be an independent activity at the age of seven. If your child needs your help longer, that’s okay. Savor the extra years of shared writing (and be sure to save some of those precious stories you write together!).
We are seven years into the great writing struggle, and I am happy to report that, while we have a little way to go, my son has become a proficient writer. It hasn’t come on any standardized time table. Rather, it has come in his own time, but it has come all the same. Surprisingly, I have seen that he may actually have a little hint of my love of words after all, especially when the topic is sports. The other day, he even said, “You know, being a sports writer wouldn’t be so bad.” Never in a million years would I have thought he might even consider a career path in writing, but crazier things have happened.
If you have a struggling writer, take heart! A little creativity will go a long way in showing your child a whole new world of communication. And if you are a struggling writer yourself, don’t worry! Some of the best teachers are those who are learning alongside their student.
When I began homeschooling, the thought of my children not doing every level terrified me. My mind insisted that skipping a level was equivalent to skipping a grade. Now I know that isn’t true.
There are a variety of reasons children might not use or finish all Sonlight levels:
combining two or more children into one level for family-style learning
slowing the pace due to content issues
life interference
Out of my seven students, three of them are in or finished with high school, and my plan for each child looks totally different. Only one child will do all the Sonlight levels. The other two are in college already, and it hasn’t hurt them to have skipped a level here or there.
Sheep Shearing in College
One thing that helped me realize it’s okay every child doesn’t take the same classes was remembering college. My first degree was a two-year LPN (licensed practical nurse) degree at a small-town college in Minnesota. In the heart of farm country, the college offered a surplus of agricultural courses.
Reading obsessively through the course catalog on a quest for interesting courses, Sheep Shearing caught my eye. Located between Lamb and Wool Management and Equine Production (neither sounding interesting), Sheep Shearing beckoned to me. Although I had no interest in shearing sheep, I suddenly wanted to know how such a specific topic was worth 3 credit hours! I was tempted take the class to find out.
Of course, that would mean paying for a class I didn’t need and touching a sheep. I never found out the secrets, but it made the list of classes I wanted to take some day along with Metalworking, Wind Band Conducting ( I’ve never played a wind instrument), and Egyptology.
Thinking back, I realize somewhere out there is a student who did take sheep shearing that year and found it very useful. Like me, this unknown, imaginary student, could not take every class offered by the college. Thousands of students passed through that college while I was there, and only 32 of them were in my classes, taking the same courses I did. Everyone else was doing something different. Of course, I never thought my education might be inferior because I didn’t take every single class offered at the college. The principle applies to Sonlight, too!
Your child, like my 14-year-old, might take and enjoy them all. He’s done everything from Preschool to currently 200, and is likely to finish every single program offered.
Or you have a child like my 18-year-old senior who will take most of the courses, but might miss a couple along the way. She got a little behind when dyslexia made it hard for her to finish a History / Bible / Literature (HBL) program in a single year.
Perhaps you might find, like my 19-year-old former foster daughter, that life interferes and you simply don’t have the time or the opportunity to do them all.
All three of these children are doing well in life. They all have their own goals, and their futures don’t all look the same. And that’s okay. They are all thriving.
If your child doesn’t get to every HBL, if you skip books, or if you simply choose to not do every level, you are no different from the student who took Sheep Shearing. Your child’s path might not include every level, but it is no less wonderful for that.
Sonlight Offers More Levels than You Need
Sonlight has so many enticing courses, especially in the upper grades!
But, none of these are required for high school graduation or college admission. They can be used for high school credits, certainly, but if teens don’t take any of these, they will still graduate and can still get into a good college.
Not Every Child Has the Same Interests
Children tend to throw our best-laid plans into turmoil. A friend of mine took her child out of public school in fifth grade and promptly planned out his curriculum through graduation. She carefully researched her options and painstakingly choose each course with great care. Last year, as a junior, he looked over her plan, and decided to skip everything except one more level of math in his senior year, giving him just enough credits to graduate. Then he got a job and is saving money for college next year.
Another friend has a child who simply didn’t want college. He graduated, got a job in his desired field, and quickly worked his way up the ranks to a medium-level position within a year.
Children rarely follow the plan as written. You might decide to do all the Sonlight courses with your child, but your child might not want to do them all or might wish to do them in a different order. Go ahead and plan if you enjoy that! But don't get too comfortable with your plan. Be willing to change it.
Learning Doesn’t End at Graduation
It’s so easy to focus in on that end goal of high school graduation. However, that’s not the end of your child's education! One of my children took the next HBL with her to college to have good books to read in her free time. Another one of my children has taken an extra year for high school, taking part time dual enrollment courses and doing an extra HBL at home as well. I enjoy reading Sonlight books for myself at home as an adult.
You can also complete the levels non-traditionally. You might add in books over the summer or have an older child read material they skipped a few years ago. Learning doesn’t need to stop just because school does. No matter what that final transcript looks like, your child will have a high-quality, solid, Biblical education with Sonlight.
Don’t let the drive to do it all cause you to forget why you’re homeschooling in the first place. In the words of Dorothy Canfield Fisher, in Understood Betsy,
“[Elizabeth Ann] had always thought she was there to pass from one grade to another, and she was ever so startled to get a glimpse of the fact that she was there to learn how to read and write and cipher and generally use her mind, so she could take care of herself when she came to be grown up. Of course, she didn’t really know that till she did come to be grown up, but she had her first dim notion of it in that moment, and it made her feel the way you do when you're learning to skate and somebody pulls away the chair you've been leaning on and says, 'Now, go it alone!'"
If you need help mapping out a plan for your child's curriculum choices, Sonlight has homeschool consultants available to help. Click here to schedule an appointment.
If you have a baby and would like her to learn to speak English as she grows, what would you do? Would you go out and buy a vocabulary curriculum for her, start it at 6 months old, and trust that would be sufficient?
Of course not! We teach babies to speak by speaking to them, speaking around them, and simply exposing them to language in context every day.
Vocabulary is far too complex to be taught in isolation with a single curriculum.
Critical thinking is another such complex skill. It's nearly impossible to teach critical thinking quickly, in isolation, and without much real-life exposure. It requires a holistic and long-term approach to education and parenting to successfully impart!
What is Critical Thinking?
Critical thinking has become a litmus test of a good education. We all want our graduates to demonstrate this skill, which according to one helpful article includes "seeing both sides of an issue, being open to new evidence that disconfirms your ideas, reasoning dispassionately, demanding that claims be backed by evidence, deducing and inferring conclusions from available facts, solving problems, and so forth."
Yet many educators approach this complex skill as if students can learn it with a few hours of critical thinking workbooks each week.
I think vocabulary curriculum and critical thinking workbooks definitely have their place. But, just as vocabulary curriculum won't do much good if your child isn't also hearing the language in everyday contexts, a critical thinking program won't do much good unless the main thrust of your homeschool also helps your child learn to think critically. If your child isn't learning to reason, to consider another's viewpoint, in their daily school and life, it's going to be very hard for them to translate the skills they learn from a workbook into any other situation.
How to Teach Critical Thinking in the Homeschool
According to this scholarly article on why you can't teach critical thinking,most attempts to teach critical thinking don't do much good. And that may be because there are three aspects to thinking critically that are very hard to teach.
But here's the good news: Sonlight deliberately addresses all three aspects of teaching critical thinking. Maybe this is why customers rave about how Sonlight has helped them raise critical thinkers over the long haul—even without a workbook labeled Critical Thinking. Here are the three areas essential to developing critical thinking and how Sonlight naturally incorporates each:
1. Background Knowledge
It's hard to make connections between ideas, evaluate opposing views and reason logically if you don't know many ideas in the first place. If you're trying to give an unbiased critique of colonialism in Africa, but don't know anything about colonialism and its effects, you'll have a hard time coming up with valuable contributions.
Since Sonlight students learn history in a way they enjoy and remember, they develop a vast reservoir of background knowledge and cultural literacy to help them along the way. They understand the big picture of how history has unfolded, so they have a firm foundation from which to make connections and consider new ideas.
2. Specific Skills and Steps
Students need to know what to do when they set out to analyze an argument or consider a different viewpoint. Sonlight provides this naturally. If the author of a book has a clear bias, we'll point that out in the Instructor's Guide and offer counter arguments and other viewpoints. As you discuss with your children, students learn the steps of identifying a bias, considering another point of view, looking for reasons to support both sides, and deciding which (if either) creates a better argument.
Students will read one perspective in one book, another perspective in another book, counter-balancing notes in the Instructor's Guide, and then learn to compare and evaluate those differing thoughts. That's what I call a well-rounded education!
3. Abundant Practice
You wouldn't expect children to use a new word naturally in conversation just because they saw it once on a vocabulary sheet. And it turns out that critical thinking skills are even harder to translate from one context to another. (That's why word problems can be so tricky in math–students don't recognize that they already have the skills they need to solve a problem when it's presented in new and different real-life contexts.)
So in order to make progress, children need lots of practice applying the steps of critical thinking. And with Sonlight, your children will get practice in this every day. It starts off very gently when they're young, and by the time they graduate high school they've done it hundreds (thousands?) of times.
Reading and Discussing Literature Builds Critical Thinking
Simply reading lots of literature does wonders to help children consider another's point of view. When you walk a mile in a character's shoes through reading a compelling story about them, you come to understand how they see life, even if that's very different from your own experience. This ability is invaluable when it comes to listening to both sides of an issue.
And with Sonlight, we help students go beyond a light reading of most of the books they read. Discussion questions push students to consider deeper issues and make connections with historical events of the time. And this critical thinking doesn't just happen with one book, but with hundreds of books over the years. With so much practice, it becomes second nature to think and see beyond the surface.
Perhaps critical thinking is like a muscle. If you never work out that muscle, it's weak and you have trouble relying on it. If kids practice using it regularly, they naturally begin to apply what worked and what didn't work in previous experiences. They become adventurous enough to try something new or use what they learned in a previous or similar situation to solve a new problem.
Yes, you have to know something about the problem already in order to solve it (background knowledge). But it also helps if kids have solved other challenging problems previously. Aside from the skills they practiced in solving other challenging problems, they have learned at a very basic level that they can solve such problems. And so they have the confidence to try again.
Sonlight's Natural Approach to Critical Thinking
Sonlight's teaching method is all about natural learning:
conversations with your children about what they're learning
discussion questions that challenge kids to think more deeply about topics
answering why something happened and not just what happened
This method is a combination of both acquiring knowledge and gaining daily practice in thinking critically about that knowledge.
When comparing Sonlight to another curriculum, one mom posted on the (now defunct) forums:
"There truly will be zero comparison in critical thinking skills. I found [the other curriculum] to be more retelling than thinking about the reading, the comparing of views, the whys. [The other curriculum] just doesn't hold a candle to [Sonlight in] this line of thought."
And that is my prayer—that Sonlight students will learn to carefully weigh what they hear so that they can confidently pursue Truth and live the life that God has for them.
Curious to see what an education infused with critical thinking might look like for your family? Go to SmoothCourse to explore your options.
