I read an interesting article over on Get In, Hang On. Go ahead--give it a read.

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Back?

What's interesting is that I started out my life online paranoid as the next guy. I had pseudonyms for my alter egos. I didn't post images, even sketches I had drawn. I tried to encrypt everything. And I turned off my modem at night.

...okay, all that is a tad of an exaggeration. I had pseudonym. Image hosting wasn't exactly viable. Encryption wasn't even a word yet. And we paid for the internet by the minute. But that's not the point.

The point is: I have since changed.

I used to worry about my identity being stolen. I was concerned that people would "find me" ...or something. But now I blog for a living. I spend quite a bit of time each day creating content so people will get to know my name. I post pictures of myself. I write articles and posts detailing my personal issues and struggles. I even give away my Social Security number and bank account information. ...not really.

What has changed in my mind? Why don't I worry about Facebook?

1. I do my best to be wise about what I post, but more than that, I do my best to live in such a way so as to be acceptable. So, since I don't go to parties and get drunk or shoot up, I have nothing to hide there. What things that others may hide I write about, and so "coming clean" makes it possible for me to talk about the subjects openly without fear of people smearing my reputation. I already threw it out there for the wolves to devour.

2. Everyone (especially employers) need to realize that there are many aspects of a person and their life. If they can't separate those and only address these issues when one area negatively bleeds into the other, they won't be as successful as they could be.

3. I'm actively trying to become a celebrity, of sorts. I want to be a "trusted voice" in the media and homeschooling communities. I don't mind being a public figure. I don't mind people knowing who I am or what I'm up to. ...that tune may change when paparazzi start snapping pictures of me cuddling my kids, but until that day...

I'd love to be your friend on Facebook.

And if something shifts in the future, I may be the first to go. But that will give you plenty of warning so you can get a new identity and run for the hills.

~Luke Holzmann
Celebrity, Star, Prolific Blogger

I got up at 3am this morning to get ready for our trip. Our plane was set to take off and 6:15, and the roads were likely to be slick on the way to the airport.

The car had some trouble getting started. After the dash finally illuminated, I understood why: It was -3° out. (This temperature decreased to a chilly -16°F out at DIA... record lows, from what I've been told.) My first thought was, "Ah, what an excellent introduction to negative numbers for kids!" But I read a post about the situation in Kyrgyzstan and, well, it's a tad disheartening.

We ended up missing our connecting flight because three of the four crew members were late to our 6:15 flight. ...really late. Thankfully we were able to get on another flight that only put us back two hours.

Only.

Even so, we made it in plenty of time for Brittany's little sister's senior art show. It was odd to walk the campus of our Alma Mater and see how things have change and what has not. This is where we met and fell in love, and yet it's a different place. I must be getting old because the college students seem so young.

And we started talking about how things--such as technology--have changed: There was no YouTube, JumpDrives didn't exist, and Instant Messaging was all the rage. DVDs were still coming onto the scene. Cell phones were not ubiquitous.

It wasn't even four years ago and yet... and yet it was so long ago.

It would be even longer if we had kids.

Nostalgia kicks in--a sweet sorrow of something we have lost; "The good old college days" before we were hit with adult responsibility; the lifestyle of spending time with people; and my stomach even knotted a bit as the pressure of finals saturated me once again.

And just as the cold kept creeping across the landscape this morning, so the cold of age drifts over me. But I'm not really all that old, no matter what feelings hanging around my peers of yesteryear inspires.

So today was all about feeling old. Tomorrow, I suspect, I may feel young as we go and visit Brittany's grandmother.

~Luke Holzmann
Filmmaker, Writer, Expectant Father

When Christ walked this earth He deliberately took on a rather obscure title. Instead of referring to Himself as the Son of God, the Messiah, the Son of David... He chose: Son of Man.

Why?

Well, the other titles had too much political baggage attached to them. The people of His day had expectations for the One to come, and Christ wasn't about to meet any of those. In fact, He was going to do much the opposite. So to help initiate this painful reality, He took on a different title. A title that had little meaning which He could then define for His followers.

Thirty second Biblical background to get us all on the same page. Any questions?

Good. Moving on.

Earlier this week I saw a post about "worldschooling" which I thought was fascinating. Here is another instance where a title--in this case: "homeschooling" and, in particular, "unschooling"--has developed rather unfortunate political baggage. So to counter this idea, Eli Gerzon has adopted his own title which he can help define.

What has really interested me is how broad this idea can get. I know it typically refers to "unschoolers" but as I read more about it, the more I felt at home with the concept. I'm a "worldschooler" now, and I was one while using Sonlight too. In fact, Sonlight is very much a "worldschooling" curriculum--oxymoron?--because of the global focus of its materials.

But then I came across a Worldschooler Facebook group with the following:

-School: "Do what you're told."
-Homeschool: "Do what you're told... by your mom."
-Unschool: "Do what you want."
-Worldschool: "Do whatchu gotta do..."

Interesting. There is certainly a lot of negative connotations with the more "traditional" approaches to education (including homeschooling). And while I agree with many of the more global aspects of worldschooling, I find the highly individualistic/self-focused bents odd and not exactly in line with my thinking.

But that's okay because, as Dana Hanley has so brilliantly pointed out, I'm part of the homeschool community, not a homeschool movement. I can disagree with them but feel no threat "because their actions do not define who I am, or what it means for me to be a homeschooler."

"Homeschooler" may be a loaded term, and so choosing another title may be useful, but who we are does not change just because of a new title. The titles are in place to help others understand us. We define the title, we are not defined by others' perceptions of it; and if we can grow into a community, all the better.

And really, that's a lot like what the Son of Man came to do.

~Luke Holzmann
Filmmaker, Writer, Expectant Father

I can't whistle.

Well, technically, I can... in the sense that I am capable of pushing air through my lips to create a sound. But reality dictates that I can't because the sound is a flat, off-pitch noise that is almost as deadly as Vogon Poetry.

I'm just sayin'.

So, I don't whistle at attractive girls--mostly because I hear it makes them uncomfortable and thus isn't the best practice for blessing them, but also because I just can't figure out how to get that up-down pitch shift thingy.

I also don't whistle while I work. I just can't.

But I can snap... with both my middle and ring fingers. And every once in a while I can get things done in a snap.

More often than not, however, things take me a lot longer than I would like. For instance, we shot another little informational video today. I was hoping that it would take us two hours. It ended up taking three and a half hours to shoot a video that will likely be less than two minutes in length (and the lighting turned out lousy too <pout>).

Lousy Lighting

But that's just how film goes.

That's how life goes too.

How many times have you beat your head against something while screaming thinking: This shouldn't be this hard/take this long!

Never? Oh.

Well, I have.

But what I need to remember is that things just take time. Work takes time. Practice takes time. Kids need time to learn lessons, to mature and treat one another kindly, to get their work done. And as much as we may wish we could snap our fingers and make things better, we can't.

We can't change ourselves that way either.

So if you're struggling with something that just isn't snapping into place in your life, just remember: I can't whistle.

It'll make you feel better.

Besides, even if things look rather bleak now, you could always try to fix it in post:

Less Lousy Lighting

Hmm... nope, I'm going to need more time to fix that problem. Ugh.

I can't whistle or light a set!

~Luke Holzmann
Filmmaker, Writer, Expectant Father

I was sitting at lunch today when I heard from across the kitchen, "Commodore Perry is in the house."

I smiled. 'Ah, the quirky culture of Sonlight.'

Picking up on the theme, a coworker shared about our Core A (which was fairly quickly renamed considering even the SCCs couldn't keep the Cores all straight that year <smile>). The people in the warehouse called it "Core F" because of the title: Fiction, Fairy Tales, and Fun for Little Learners. In fact, one of the guys wasn't even aware of the real title and so called it "Core F" in a meeting, which caused his coworkers to bust into guffaws.

But the cultural bit from this post's title comes from my good friend Mike--who works a cube over. Mike will often walk by and ask, "Did you figure it out?"

I tend to reply with something befitting my current situation, ranging from: "No, I haven't even started thinking about it yet," to, "Yep, fixed it yesterday."

Laura Lee, who is in the spot between us, finally asked us about it.

Toward the Kitchen

Well, Mike's question is much like: "How you doin'?" It's rhetorical. The fact that I choose to answer it honestly and with much detail is an indication of my own quirks.

Now whenever I launch into a lengthy description of my latest quandary, Laura Lee laughs along with us because, honestly, no one is ever going to "figure it out." There's always something that needs tweaking, changing, or reconsidering. And that's why Sonlight is constantly working to update our materials and make things clearer (even if sometimes we don't quite do that... as typified by our ill-labeled "Core A"). But even in the ever changing landscape of life, some things remain consistent, or at least a part of our experience.

Our quirks and fond memories are that way.

Here's an experience that came out of our house last night, courtesy of "The Joy of Cooking" page 504:

...braaains....

So, did you figure it out?

~Luke Holzmann
Filmmaker, Writer, Expectant Father

First, a disclaimer: I don't have daughters yet. I wish I did, but they're still stuck in Kyrgyzstan at the moment. So, I can't speak from personal experience. On the other hand, I have sisters, many close female friends, and several girls with whom I have traveled internationally^*, so I do have a very protective bent.

Now, on to the topic at hand:

I read a post about a recent experience that determined why one woman's daughter will not be biking alone ever again.

Now, yes, the world is a scary place with much potential for evil, and we must look to protect our children. But is the answer to hide away in a convent? Do we withdraw to places away from criminals and let the world "go where it will" without us?

No.

And I'm not saying that was the point of the original post either. But facetious as the comments may have been, I think the ideal is a reality for many Christians in their daily lives: Rather than deal with the issue, we suggest that we remove it. And that's not without Biblical backing. And in some cases, that's not a bad idea at all.

But the solution to sin should not, I propose, be about making it impossible to do so. Rather, we should focus on changing life to be so we focus on the good instead.

Here's my experience of a girl going out alone: Instead of telling the girl in Paris that she should not go running at night, I insisted on going with her. That way she was no longer in as grave a danger and we could build a friendship. Positives.

And this is why some people find accountability groups/partners so powerful: They have a companion with them to help keep them safe. And this is the importance of community as well: We need people who are looking out for us and keeping us from doing something foolish on our own. And that, I think, is why I have consistently had bad experiences with "accountability groups": They are about seeing how I've been doing at avoiding something, rather than looking out for me and walking with me through the dark alleys.

In short, an accountability group is like a weekly "safety meeting" for girls who can talk about how many times they've been approached by guys that week. "Well, I was only approached by two guys this week," the cute little blond girl says. "Oh, that's good," exclaims the redhead, "I had three guys whistle at me."

That's retroactive and hardly helpful.

I want people who will go with me out into the world and keep me safe simply by walking beside me because they love me. And, honestly, I think that's the point of the post: Don't go biking alone.

If that is our model, there's rarely a need for the convent.

~Luke Holzmann
Filmmaker, Writer, Expectant Father

^*Oh yeah, that sounds really wholesome, doesn't it?

Well, it was every time.

I've been on mission trips and a leadership training group thingy. I don't go bopping around the world with bimbos. Just in case people were scandalized <smile>.

While reading another blog, I saw the cover of a new Baby Blues compilation book. It took me a moment, and then I laughed. Check out the cover for a grin. ...or not, if you're not as twisted as I am <smile>.

Now I don't have baby blues at the moment. I have waiting blues while we exercise our "patience" muscles in this whole adoption thing. And I also tend to have money blues.

Let me give you a prime example of my misery.

We recently went to Costco armed with several coupons, including one for $3 off a pair of women's lounge pants. I was getting tired of not having any PJ bottoms to use because Brittany kept taking them, so this could be a pretty good deal. And it was.

We got two pairs.

Brittany loves them and said, "These are the most comfortable pants I've ever had in my whole life." Sounds good to me. So, where's the misery in this?

Well, even on sale they cost more than 25 cents, and I started to feel guilty. I mean, we're in a recession for cryin' out loud! How can I be shelling out money like this, especially now that we're in the season for spending money on others (which was also hitting my bank)?

Oh, woe is me!

Even the knowledge that this was coming out of our Party Tithe didn't console me. And then, to make things worse, Brittany suggested we get some fries from Carl's.

Ahhhh!!!

I read blogs every day about people barely scraping by. How in the world was I supposed to feel good about having money to spend... especially money that I can spend without guilt? How could I not help but feel guilty about that!?

And then this morning, I read this post by Kim. In it she talks about her realization that she should choose to be thankful for things she has. And she says it far better than I, so go give it a read.

But the bit grabbed me when she was listing the things she can be thankful for was "money to meet all our needs (& a WHOLE lot extra!)"

And it smacked me right in the middle of my thick skull:
I should be thankful for the "WHOLE lot extra!" I have, rather than bemoaning the burden and giving in to guilt. I mean, how foolish can you get?

Pretty foolish, it seems.

Who else takes a blessing and turns it into a curse?

In light of this, I've resolved to be thankful for the opportunity to buy my wife comfortable lounge pants.

I'm also thankful for the wild success of the Sonlight Rice Bag Project! What an incredible blessing. Now women in India will be able to read the Bible ...and any graffiti around them <smile> (though I didn't see much when I had the opportunity to visit India).

So, any blessings in your life right now that you need to be thankful for?

~Luke Holzmann
Filmmaker, Writer, Expectant Father

P.S. I also choose to be retroactively thankful for the very tasty fries I ate at Carl's with my wife.