3am, -3 and Falling

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I got up at 3am this morning to get ready for our trip. Our plane was set to take off and 6:15, and the roads were likely to be slick on the way to the airport.

The car had some trouble getting started. After the dash finally illuminated, I understood why: It was -3° out. (This temperature decreased to a chilly -16°F out at DIA... record lows, from what I've been told.) My first thought was, "Ah, what an excellent introduction to negative numbers for kids!" But I read a post about the situation in Kyrgyzstan and, well, it's a tad disheartening.

We ended up missing our connecting flight because three of the four crew members were late to our 6:15 flight. ...really late. Thankfully we were able to get on another flight that only put us back two hours.


Even so, we made it in plenty of time for Brittany's little sister's senior art show. It was odd to walk the campus of our Alma Mater and see how things have change and what has not. This is where we met and fell in love, and yet it's a different place. I must be getting old because the college students seem so young.

And we started talking about how things--such as technology--have changed: There was no YouTube, JumpDrives didn't exist, and Instant Messaging was all the rage. DVDs were still coming onto the scene. Cell phones were not ubiquitous.

It wasn't even four years ago and yet... and yet it was so long ago.

It would be even longer if we had kids.

Nostalgia kicks in--a sweet sorrow of something we have lost; "The good old college days" before we were hit with adult responsibility; the lifestyle of spending time with people; and my stomach even knotted a bit as the pressure of finals saturated me once again.

And just as the cold kept creeping across the landscape this morning, so the cold of age drifts over me. But I'm not really all that old, no matter what feelings hanging around my peers of yesteryear inspires.

So today was all about feeling old. Tomorrow, I suspect, I may feel young as we go and visit Brittany's grandmother.

~Luke Holzmann
Filmmaker, Writer, Expectant Father

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  1. Melonie

    Okay, so you made me feel old, sad, worried, grateful, and about a gazillion other things in one post. Nice work. LOL Glad y'all made it safely despite the weather adventures! Keeping fingers crossed and prayers sent for you and your future forever family.

    Stay safe & warm!

  2. Mrs. C

    I'm slow here. You're getting the children? And really soon? Oh, boy!! I'm thinking once you get them, you'll forget about the negative numbers for a bit. *shiver*

    Really interested in how this adventure pans out. Especially interested, say, five years from now, what that might mean for Sonlight. I'm sure you will use your experience with new language learners/older adoptive kids in figuring out which Sonlight materials might be right for *other* families. Maybe even public schools would be interested in some of your insights.

    Thinking out loud. I see NOTHING wrong with combining your passion for your family with your business, can you tell? :]

    Oh, boy I am SOOO excited for you guys!

  3. Luke

    Melonie, thank you so much for the prayers and the encouragement. It is greatly appreciated!

    Mrs. C, no, we're still not getting the children (sadly). I'm visiting the in-laws for Christmas.

    I certainly plan to use my experiences with homeschooling on this blog and in other places around the net. Absolutely. And I'm glad you don't object to that <smile>.

    I'm glad you're excited, but it is premature. We do gladly take prayers as we wait though.


  4. agentlejoy

    I had a long conversation at a Christmas party with a beautiful woman last week. She had silver hair and a smooth, beautiful face. She was lovlier at (I couldn't believe it when she told me) 58 than I was at 18. When I admitted that I was 35, she said, "Why, you're just a baby!" I thought, but didn't say, being the mom of a 2, 5, 9, and 12... I feel like an old crone. I feel stooped and tired, absent-minded and over-strained.

    Do you think when the children are grown and gone and I have time to spend on myself that I'll bounce back and be a perky 78-year-old trotting around the nursing home teaching cross-stitch and how to write sonnets?

    Watch out- adopting three may age you. According to my (patented) age-estimation technique you will be birth age+ 5(#of children at home)+ 2years/child over 10 or under 4. Which would place me in my early sixties.

    Yep. Sounds about right.

  5. Luke

    Angela, you crack me up! Hilarious <smile>.


  6. SlushTurtle

    I'd just like to offer you a ray of sunshine, as regards the U.S. State Dept. I don't think they advise anyone to adopt internationally. I mean, seriously, I've never read about a country they approve of, and if you look at their record, they aren't that friendly or helpful to prospective and adoptive parents. So, I'd just keep plugging away and not get too worried about what they say. And I know, way easier to do than it is to say. I was a completely freaked out freakazoid when we were adopting. It was exhausting. But now I'm older and perhaps a wee bit wiser.

  7. Luke

    Thanks for the encouragement, SlushTurtle. That is good to know and keep in mind.