Retching.
[NB: This post doesn't improve much from that first word. You have been warned.]
I look at the clock: 12:23am. It must be my wife. I go to investigate. Yep, Brittany is poised over the toilet heaving. This continues all night. I wake to take my shower at 6am and find her curled in the bathtub... the only place she's been able to sleep all night.
I stay home and catch up on my RSS feeds. I don't feel like I have the energy to respond to many posts. There were even some really interesting ones. But I just couldn't do it. You'll find a couple of them in my Other Posts of Note.
By lunch I'm not feeling so well. But Brittany needs some electrolyte juice, so I'm off to the store with the two girls in tow. I have to take a break every few minutes to sit. Right before heading out. In the parking lot. I'm really not feeling hot.
I do not remember the last time I threw up. In fact, I'm pretty sure I never have. But standing in line to purchase some important fluids, I started to really question my stomach's next move.
"Thank you, Mr. Holzmann," the cashier says as she hands me my receipt. I force a smile and head for the door, trying to limit my movement while moving to where I can sit down and let my stomach settle.
I have the girls by either hand. The plastic bag hangs from my wrist. My stomach tightens.
'Oh no.' I turn around to keep the girls behind me as a few pieces of orange and a gallon of water spew forth. The older girl is fascinated.
"You just made orange come out of your mouth."
"Yes," I reply, between heaves. "This is what Brittany was doing all last night. It's what happens when you're sick."
Three more contractions. I'm trying not to bring attention to myself, and the other shoppers seem to be doing their best to ignore me.
I straighten up. I feel markedly better. I get home and take a nap while the girls do the same.
I awake at 5:30. The evening stretches before us. We need to find the strength to feed the girls and get them to bed. Thankfully they don't appear to have the bug yet.
That was my first working day of the year. How was yours?
Ever thrown up in the middle of a parking lot?
I hadn't. Until today.
~Luke Holzmann
Filmmaker, Writer, Surrogate Father
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