Dec. 24, 2014

How Christmas Addresses Our Hurts

By Luke
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Several years ago I shared some musings on how the Christmas story is one of turmoil and pain. I've been thinking about that more during morning prayer here at Sonlight. The prayer requests are typical of our fallen world -- sickness, death, conflict, even international incidents that make it to our ears -- but the timing feels extra painful.

"How horrible to lose a father right before Christmas," someone says.

It's true. While the rest of the world rejoices, we find our lives rocked by one hurt or another.

Christmas-Pain
Christmas Pain

On one hand, I'm so thankful for the passage about rejoicing and mourning with people. We can do both at the same time. It's not at all hypocritical -- through producing a bit of emotional whiplash -- to celebrate the birth of Christ and an annual unity with believers while also crying with a hurting friend, relative, or even on your own.

Christ is our Redeemer, our Savior, the One who makes things new.

That is still in process.

But you don't have to fake it. This is real life, and He came into it to heal us, pour out grace, and remind us to keep looking to the Father.

As I blogged before, there are many things about Christ's birth story that sound very similar to today (divorce, politics, death threats, and more). This is Christmas.

Your house a mess? Your life in upheaval? You feeling beaten down because of this or that?

This is Christmas.

You fit right in.

Come, let us adore Him, the One who came to address our hurts by setting aside His divinity and sacrificing Himself for us.

This is Christmas.

 ~Luke Holzmann
Filmmaker, Writer, Pseudo-Dad

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Dec. 18, 2014

My student doesn't want to do anything

By Judy
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You bought all of this great curriculum ... the books hold great stories, the workbooks are colorful and appealing, and it's all organized for you ... but your 6 year old just sits at the table and stares out the window. As the days go by, you get further and further behind, and that just increases the frustration for both you and him.

Motivation is that nebulous quality that drives our desire for, and commitment to, reaching a goal. It has been said that we are never unmotivated, we are simply more motivated toward certain goals. So what motivates a 6 year old? Or any student, for that matter? Better yet, why is a 6 year old seemingly unmotivated when it comes to his education?

If this describes your student, here are some thoughts you may wish to consider. The answer to these simple questions may help you determine why motivation seems to be missing when it comes to school work.

  1. Is it possible that your student is bored? Perhaps the curriculum you've chosen is simply not challenging enough for your child.  (A content issue)
  2. Is it possible that your child is a "mover/shaker" (a kinesthetic learner) and having to sit still and do academics makes him shut down? (A delivery issue)
  3. Is it possible that this is a behavioral problem? In other words, how does your child behave in other areas of life when he is required to fulfill a task? (A heart issue)

Sometimes we get so focused on a child's age or grade, that we forget that learning needs to happen at a child's skill level. The end result may be that your student is bored with material that is too easy for him, or frustrated with content that is too difficult. Try to set aside any preconceived grade level, and instead, focus on what your child knows in each subject. Perhaps work on one subject at a time for a few days, so you can hone in on problem areas. Placement tests can be a useful tool as you evaluate materials. Listen to what your child says about what he is learning. Be willing to make changes, even if that means switching to materials that are at a level that do not match your child's age.

Delivery can be just as important as content. Sitting your child at a table with a workbook may not be the best way for your student to learn. Some children are simply not wired to sit still to be able to focus. Stretching out under the dining room table with a good book, or playing hopscotch while memorizing math facts may be a much better approach to use with a kinesthetic learner. Determining your child's learning style may go a long way in helping improve motivation for academics. Keep in mind ... learning does not only happen at a desk/table in a totally silent room. Look for ways to integrate learning into your everyday activities instead of trying to force an artificial learning environment.

Attitude may be the most challenging reason to address for lack of motivation. Concepts such as respect and recognizing authority are just as important to teach as math and phonics. One of the most valuable things we can teach our children is that life is full of things that aren't necessarily fun or enjoyable. Some days you have to memorize addition facts, even if you hate doing it, because mom knows that eventually you will need that skill. There are myriads of books, blog posts, and web sites out there on child training, so I won't belabor the point. But I would encourage you to be willing to see this as an area that may need some work.

Finally ... my attitude as a parent/teacher will go a long way toward encouraging motivation for learning in my student. Get excited about discovering new things with your child. Don't let school become something your student does for 4 hours every weekday morning. Instead, view learning as a lifestyle ... one that you and your child share.

Still on the journey ...
~Judy Wnuk

P.S. There's a lot to be said for letting a child be a child as long as possible. Perhaps 5 and 6 year old students aren't motivated for formal academics because they're busy learning what it means to be 5 or 6 and simply being amazed at the world around them. Don't stifle that inbred desire to investigate and discover or the need to move and be busy!

 

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Dec. 16, 2014

Gifts

By Jonelle
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'Tis the season of giving gifts! A time when we look to the ultimate Gift Giver and marvel at the wonderful grace he gave us when he sent his son, Jesus Christ, to make a way for us to be near him.

If gifts are your thing, this can be a very fun time of year. You think really hard, or are hit with an inspiration, of what you think someone else might enjoy, and then, yay! the joy of watching someone open a gift you've given them.

But, during this time of focusing on gifts, I have been struck with a pain that goes back 4 years. When Gracie died, it was an immediate loss. An immediate removal of a very good gift. But there have been more losses surrounding that. My dream of an unmedicated birth was over. Because of the type of surgery I had, trying for a natural birth was no longer an option. I never had the chance to experience labor. My dream of four children to raise ended with three.

After Jackson's birth this summer, we chose to follow the doctor's orders and take permanent measures. Again, because of health issues, they really encouraged us (me) to be content with the children I have and keep myself safe so I can raise them. It was the final gut punch in a series of hardship and sadness around childbearing.

That gift of life -- of raising life, of experiencing life -- for us, is on pause.

Snow-Pine-Tree
Snow on a Pine Tree

And I wrestle with that. And I grieve over that. And, honestly, this was going to be a pretty different blog post, but as I started writing, I thought about my good Gift Giver. He is looking at me, at my family, my life, who I am, and choosing just the best gift for me. It doesn't look like the package shape I was expecting, but, I know it'll be good.

What good gift seems taken away from you right now? Is there a dream or a passion that seems on hold? Ended?

May it be that as we take time to focus on Christ in this season we would welcome whatever the gift of our life is. And may we be able to see it for what it is: a beautiful gift waiting to be unwrapped.

Blessings,
Jonelle

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Dec. 12, 2014

What if my student doesn't complete all the Cores?

By Luke
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Sonlight offers a wide selection of packages for your K-12 journey. We call the programs that include History, Bible, Language Arts, and Reading a Core. We were using this term long before Common Core became a political phrase. Sonlight has been around almost 25 years, so I feel "Core" is "our thing" that others have co-opted.

Discouraged
Discouraged

So what happens if you're unable -- for whatever reason -- to complete every single Sonlight program? We can broaden this question even further by asking, "What if my kids don't complete everything in their homeschool curriculum?" The answers are going to be roughly the same whether we're talking Sonlight's complete homeschool curriculum or your favorite math program.

The answer breaks nicely into four parts.

School vs Homeschool

First, it's encouraging to consider how schools handle not getting to certain content. The answer? They simply ignore it. Or they cram. The outcome is identical. As you know, there is no one "right" schedule. As a homeschooler, you can be flexible and cover material when it works for your family. For schools, when the year is over, it's over. I remember several classes in both high school and college where we simply skimmed or skipped the last few chapters of our textbooks. Remember: Your kids will never know everything. And that's okay.

Second, despite pressure from governments and educrats, there is no set standard you must follow (at least, not yet). Schools are increasingly locked into molds by the very tax dollars that fund them. You are still free because of your personal investment in your child's education. This investment is well worth the sacrifice! You can ensure what your children are learning aligns with your goals.

This highlights the third element here: Your educational choices are based on your family, not the system you're in. Sonlight has a very robust Scope and Sequence. You can use Sonlight programs from Preschool through High School. But Sonlight is intentionally flexible so you can make it fit your family, not the other way around.

How Sonlight Works

Sonlight starts with age spans. Each Core can be used with a range of ages and can be tweaked to accommodate an even larger spread. The benefit of using literature is that a well-written book will be meaningful for all ages, even you! This saves you time and money and gives you more options for dealing with a full school year.

Your Sonlight Core covers a certain period of history or area of the world. Sonlight's focus on history instead of social studies provides many practical benefits, but it also aids in combining students, covering content, and selecting the package that will fit your family's needs this year.

If you were to complete every Sonlight Core, you will have covered 3 sweeps through history. Each pass through the content unlocks new levels of exploration and understanding. But Sonlight is different in that we don't take a chronological approach to history. Why? Check out Reason 16 NOT to Buy Sonlight.

What You Miss

If you skip some of Sonlight, your kids will be fine, but you will miss out on...

  1. Great books. Sonlight's programs are famous -- with good reason -- for the fantastic literature you share with your children. If at all possible, these titles are not to be missed.
  2. Great discussion. With great stories comes great conversation. If you don't get around to reading everything within Sonlight, you'll miss out on opportunities to bond over the books.
  3. "Living" history. Wonderful historical fiction brings history to life. You and your children get to "be there" and "experience" the events of the past (unnecessary quotes much?). When it comes to learning history, this is the way to go.

Shared experiences, fond memories, inside jokes, a developing love for one another ... all these are great. But I want to make sure you hear this too...

What You Don't Miss

Your future. Your child's future.

If your student does not complete all of Sonlight's programs -- or everything in their workbook -- you're not ruining your child's life. This is the message all along: Schools skip chapters, Sonlight cycles through content, and there is always, always more to learn.

As with most things in life, I find it better to focus on the positives. You have the opportunity to use a great curriculum. If something comes up that keeps you from doing every last little thing in absolutely every program, no problem. What you and your child will miss are a few added benefits. There isn't a penalty, a punishment for skipping a book or Core or year. Keep your eyes on the end game and aim for that. Enjoy the benefits you encounter along the way.

If you'd like to discuss how you can choose and tweak your curriculum to fit your needs and give you even more opportunities for success, please take a moment to chat with a homeschool Advisor. It's free and you can move forward in confidence, knowing your plan for the coming weeks and months and year.

 ~Luke Holzmann
Filmmaker, Writer, Pseudo-Dad

P.S. There is something to be said for setting proper expectations for your students. There are times when students just need to push through and get stuff done. But even in that, grace is a great resource as you focus on a life-long love of learning.

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Dec. 10, 2014

Cliques and Posses

By Luke
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She's ten. She looks a bit like a pixie, small, impish, the slurred voice of an active child. She has ten students who are "loyal" to her.

"Like the mob?" I ask.

"Oh, no. Some kids use others to do evil. I use my people for good."

"Uh-huh," I say, convinced more than ever that the school is run by a child mafia. Or, perhaps, the mafia is using the school to train the next godfather. Either way, this doesn't sound good.

I was unable to extract any more useful details about how kids at her school use other kids to shakedown, beat up, or bully the classmates not "loyal" to them. I couldn't help but quip to myself that I needed some muscle to be loyal to me so I could get more information from this girl. Her "people" follow her orders to clear the chalkboard, straighten the rulers, and generally tidy the classroom. Sure, not evil -- good, even -- but ... but ...

Little-Mobster
Li'l Mobster

Two thoughts burned through my mind like a car hit with with a Molotov cocktail as we chatted:

1. Cliques, Posses, Mobs are very real socialization ills wandering our schools. The teachers can't be oblivious to the language their students use to describe their "tribes." The vocabulary word of choice tickles my spine the way the sight of a large man in a black hat and trench coat in an alley at night would prickle my skin. This isn't optimal. And while I have coworkers who are friends and others whom I merely greet in passing -- if that -- there is no talk of loyalties. We work together and should factions arise it would be detrimental to everyone. Schools, I feel, should be similarly motivated.

2. The focus of schools is not primarily academics. As Paul Graham argues so well in his essay on nerds, school is not about the colloquial "3 Rs." Graham claims that schools exist "to keep kids locked up in one place for a big chunk of the day so adults can get things done." He's not the only one to make that point. I've heard people suggest that school days should be longer and more frequent so parents who have to work can have a place to keep their children. The parents I know who both have to work tell me that day care is absurdly expensive; tax-funded classrooms are a much cheaper babysitter. As the holidays roll around, they begin to wonder how they will keep their children watched after while they go to work. We rightly want to protect children, but when the very structure in which they spend the majority of their waking hours is built around loyalties to other children, Graham's essay shows itself ever more true.

I am not at all suggesting that you should homeschool to avoid the problems of even inert cliques. I've written before about how I reject a bunker mentality of homeschooling. I do not want to push you toward homeschooling. Rather, this conversation once again turned the interrogation light on homeschooling.

And for all the pressure, threats, and good cop/bad cop games, homeschooling came through unscathed.

How?

The story is consistent: Homeschooling is a great option.

Don't run from schools because cliques and posses exist. Run toward homeschooling because the learning environment is built around parental love. Join the homeschooling "tribe" because we love learning, and we encourage it in everyone.

Where we are part of our own movement, we're no better than the posse my young friend runs (doing good even, but ... but ...). Where we isolate ourselves, we're as bad as the most exclusive high school clique.

Homeschooling is great. Let's stick with that.

There's no need to check to see if those around us have similar loyalties.

 ~Luke Holzmann
Filmmaker, Writer, Pseudo-Dad

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Dec. 5, 2014

Dropping the Burden of Performance

By Luke
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Are you feeling burdened right now? This season can be stressful and depleting; how sad given that this is meant to be a time of joy and refreshment. You'll find some excellent pointers and encouragement in Judy's post yesterday about how to do school over the holidays. But homeschooling isn't the only downward pressure.

I've shared before about how I tend to feel glum during the holidays. For me, I don't think it's SAD (seasonal affective disorder); it could be. One influence I can identify is that I'm very much a 3 on the enneagram. I'm the kind of person who must feel I have "achieved" something each day and the frenetic holiday season can get in the way of my perceived accomplishments.

Burden
Burden

My wife loves personality tests (I'm an INTP on Myers-Briggs). Reading more about the enneagram, she came across a book written by a Franciscan priest. He says that it can be embarrassing to discover our weaknesses, our negative tendencies. Kids do the same thing, bringing to light our areas of struggle (I liked how Heidi put it in her post On Adolescence). But the message is one of hope: God uses us! In spite of ourselves, He works His will. Using the strengths and tendencies He put in us, He offers redemption. And when this season places us in situations where we are not our best -- exhausted, pressured, confronting old wounds -- I think it is important to remember God's grace and His call.

Many Other Posts of Note from this week echoed this theme. I really appreciated:

And I'm reminded also of my own post on how Christmas is a story of turmoil.

The story of God's love is a beautiful one. The story of His grace is freeing. Please, read over the beautiful posts above and be encourage by what these women share. God wants you. And He'll use your talents and your work for His glory because He is working in and through you. I need that reminder. I too often want to try to lug the burden of performance with me. But I sense, once again, God whispering to me, "Let go. Drop that."

My inner achiever screams, "But then you won't ever do anything, Luke!"

But that guy is wrong.

I will do much more when I rest in Christ and follow where He takes me.

May you find rest this season. May the joy of the Lord be your strength and His kindness lead you to repentance.

Joy. Hope. Love.

Join me as I try to leave my burdens at His feet and let Him lift my head.

 ~Luke Holzmann
Filmmaker, Writer, Pseudo-Dad

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Dec. 2, 2014

Education Is Not About Teaching

By Luke
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This socialization ill lurks in the corner, ignored by edutheorists and mitigated by "classroom management skills" taught to teachers. Coming as no surprise to any of us who actually attended school at some point in our lives, peers, more than teachers, impact student success. Turns out that kids are -- surprise! -- "highly responsive to ... the prevailing norm" around them. This is why Dr. Sax recommends gender specific schools (more boys take dance in an all boys school; more girls take engineering in an all girls school). Students conform to the expectations of their peers, not the prodding of their teachers.

Playing-on-the-Beach
Playing on the Beach

Just one example to dig the trench deep:

One of my favorite high school teachers, Mr. Corson, was excellent. I rocked the Psychology AP test because of his class. But a few years after that, the school decided that it wasn't fair to have the great teachers only teach the honors classes. They brought in someone else to teach my sister's honors class and shuffled Corson to regular Psych. My sister failed the AP test -- the new teacher was terrible -- and the students in Corson's classroom didn't bother to sign up.

Everyone lost.

Corson took a massive pay cut and switched to a new school. Better to make less money and be allowed to help than stay in the sinking ship. Many teachers abandoned the school around that time. Bad management destroys the work of excellent personnel (which is another issue altogether).

This is why education is not about teaching. In many ways, education is more about becoming. I discuss this in my post about your role as a parent in your student's success; the great teachers who transform student's lives are more like parents, helping their students become better people, reach for goals, and work hard. Great teachers are not those who simply know how to transmit information into a child's brain.1 Great teachers, like you, help their students set expectations that are worthy of being followed. Education, then, is about making learning the norm. Sadly, this is all-too-often not what students get from a classroom.

Classroom socialization can be good. I took honors classes with the same 20 students all four years of high school. Our norm was to do well, to push ourselves, to work. But, as the originally linked article reminds us, it wasn't our teachers who created that atmosphere. It was us. Our teachers were skilled enough to harness that passion for learning and channel us down that road.

That's what you get to do every day with your children. As the parent, you get to help foster their work ethic and encourage their creativity and help them find their strengths while cheering them on through their areas of struggle.

There's much more to be said about this topic. Cultural forces spin tendrils of influence. Thus, the expectations of a student's background influences performance. As Gladwell pointed out in Blink, simply asking a child to select their ethnicity on a test dramatically impacts their results. The good news that I want you to hold onto through all of this is that you, as the parent, get to create that culture in your home. You have far more influence over how your children see themselves and others than any teacher trying to bring positive change in the sea around them. Like a pebble on a beach, they may form small eddies. You, however, are shaping the bay.

 ~Luke Holzmann
Filmmaker, Writer, Pseudo-Dad

1. I want to reinforce an important idea here: Teachers should be able to teach. In the case of my little sister's Psych class, the teacher failed to present the information well. Good teachers learn how to teach. But the education your children receive needs to be much more than that. You offer them those benefits when you give them a love for learning, a global perspective, a chance to take time to master the content ... all those wonderful benefits of homeschooling with Sonlight. And if you're at all concerned, I suggest you revisit Judy's fantastic post, "What if my children can't learn from me?" You'll be encouraged.

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