I went to the dentist yesterday. I hadn't been in a few years. (Oops!) Not since before Elaina was born. I hadn't really thought about my visit. Seeing the dentist has never bothered me. I sat in the chair and started breathing hard. There was a bright hospital grade light shining in my eyes. There was a man with a mask. I kept thinking, "You are not having a surgery. You are not going to die." A result of some scary C-sections, I guess.
While laying down for my teeth work, they covered my eyes. "You are not being buried. You are not 'seeing the light.' You are getting fillings removed. You can do this. You are not drowning in your own saliva. Just breathe. Through your nose. You can do it. This is not the end. You are at the dentist!"
It's weird, the things we fear.
I was flying with my dad on a short trip. We found out when we got to the airport that our return flights had been mixed up and we somehow were returning through two different cities. When was the last time I flew by myself? When I was a Sophomore in college returning after spring break? 19 and excited to return to class? All these years and responsibilities and heartaches later and I felt like Woody from Toy Story saying, "I'm lost!" I don't want to go through the airport alone! Please! Someone help me!
It's odd, the things we fear.
Last week a man from the church my husband grew up in was driving to work when he was struck by a semi-truck and instantly killed. Instead of going home at 5pm, you go Home at 8:35am.
Fear.
Will my husband come home tonight? When I fly, will I come back? It's just a quick trip--be back tomorrow. But, today, this wink we giggle over, could this be our last? This time at the park, will it be the last time I push you smiling in the swing? This moment coloring with you, my favorite 5-year-old, what if this is the last time?
Fear can grip us. Grip our hearts. Grip our minds. Small fears. Big fears. Some spoken. Others not even understood.
And what do you do with that? With the panic on the drive? With the labored breathing in the dentist chair? We fight back. "Just swallow. Just look at the lights. Peace. Be at peace. Smile. Someone is there holding your hand, holding you together. Someone is there knowing what you are going through." The thoughts that make no sense, He hears them--sees you sitting there. He is the God who sees. (Gen. 16:13)
Fight back, my friend, against the fears that encroach you today. War. Shootings. School. Sickness. Travel. Death. May the Lord be the one who allows us to breathe peace today.
Be strong and courageous.
Until next time,
Jonelle
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