Jul. 27, 2018

3 Clever Incentives to Motivate a Homeschool Dawdler

By Veronica Soto
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3 Clever Incentives to Motivate a Homeschool Dawdler

For mid-elementary through early middle school children, I’ve found that incentives—both tangible and intangible—work well to motivate a homeschool dawdler. I tend to use them temporarily to stimulate a lagging child and then taper the rewards, expecting the schoolwork to become its own reward.

Of course, after time I may have to resort to an incentive again when children need another boost of motivation. This cycle is natural, and I have no qualms about using extrinsic rewards where needed. After all, I use incentives for myself when my own spirits are lagging about doing a job!

Each child is unique and responds differently to rewards. So it does take some trial and error to find the best incentives when dawdling needs to be nipped in the bud. Here are my three go-to incentives for kids who dawdle.

1. Timers and Timed Goals

Sometimes simply showing children there is an end point is enough to motivate them. Instead of having my children work until an assignment is complete, I may have them work for a set number of minutes instead. Once the time is up, they are done with that subject for the day.

Some children work best with a timer so they can see the minutes counting down and look forward to being done. You can purchase regular timers that show time elapsed, visual timers that highlight how much time is left, or fancy hourglasses that slowly trickle away the minutes. Seeing that visual reminder that time is ticking away helps many children stay on task instead of dawdling.

Another good use of timers is to give children a reward if they can finish their work within a certain amount of time. Or encourage kids to work faster by asking them to beat their previous time by a certain number of seconds or minutes.

2. Extra Recess

An easy reward that doesn’t cost anything is simply the promise of more free time—extra recess, extra screen time, or any similar reward that you know will appeal to your child. To use this incentive, simply set a time frame for a homeschool subject. It can a scheduled task, such as math between 9:00 and 9:30 am every day, or a routine task, such as reading for 30 minutes a day.

If a child is especially reluctant or has a terrible case of dawdling, offer the free time reward immediately after he finishes the required homeschool time. If the child is older or the dawdling isn't as severe, you can record the work and award all the extra free time at once on a weekly basis.

3. Reward Tracking Systems

Reward charts are highly versatile and easy to use. You can use a sticker chart, a daily checklist, or any other type of record keeping you desire. Use the chart to track completion of homeschool tasks your child dawdles over. Then depending on how well your child can delay gratification, offer daily or weekly rewards based on the charts.

The Sticker Chart

A sticker chart typically uses one sticker for each completed task. The sticker chart itself may work as a standalone incentive, but if your child needs a little extra motivation, you can offer rewards for each filled chart: a trip to get ice cream, an hour at the park, or a chance to choose a weekend meal.

The Candle Method

The candle method works great for read-alouds and other subjects where the child is not expected to produce output but needs to pay attention. Simply light a candle at the beginning of your read-aloud session, and as you read, give warnings each time your child interrupts (with comments not related to what you are reading) or stops paying attention. After two or so warnings, simply blow out the candle. When the candle is completely burned up, the child earns a reward your previously agreed on.

The M&M or LEGO Method

When you need to reward individual problems for a serious dawdler, the M&M or LEGO method works well. The premise is simple. Lay one M&M, or one LEGO beside each math problem. As soon as the child completes the problem correctly, they get the candy or LEGO award. If their answer is incorrect, either mom gets the reward, or they can try again to earn their prize.

The Marble (or Bean) Jar

Set up for this incentive is simple. You need a large jar and enough small pieces to fill it. I like marbles or colored rocks for aquariums, but you can use anything similar in size. Each time your child does a good job, they get to put a marble in the jar. When the jar is full, they have earned a reward.

Mommy Money/Daddy Dollars

In this incentive, you create your own ticket system or family currency which kids earn in exchange for homeschool work, chores, or even positive behaviors. You hand out money as you feel fit for different tasks your child has done

After they have a bit saved enough tickets or currency, they can exchange them for rewards. Here are some examples:

  • 30 Daddy Dollars may equal an afternoon trip to the park
  • 500 Daddy Dollars earns a day trip to the zoo
  • 20 pieces of Mommy Money may equal one US dollar
  • 100 Daddy Dollars equals a reward from an incentive box (below)
  • 10 pieces of Mommy Money gets a bag of sunflower seeds

Incentive Boxes

These boxes require a trip to a dollar store for various assorted toys, treats, games, and fun school supplies. Create a price list and mark each item in the box with the number of points/stickers/dollars it will take to earn each item. The incentive box has an added bonus of teaching your children to share if you allow them to gather points collectively to earn larger items.

With some children, you’ll find it’s hard to figure out what their motivational currency is, in other words, what stimulates them to do their work. In that case, use as many methods as it takes to find what really helps them stop the dawdling and get on track with completing their homeschool lessons.

 We can't promise your kids will never dawdle with Sonlight. But you can order with confidence because of our 100% guarantee.

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Jul. 25, 2018

A Thoughtful Exposé of the "What About Socialization?" Question

By Gina Munsey
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A Thoughtful Exposé of the What About Socialization? Question

I’m a second-generation homeschooler, so I’ve heard questions people ask homeschoolers for as long as I can remember. Curiosity comes in waves, and some of the most commonly asked topics tend to evolve over the years. A few questions, though, persist. Perhaps you, too, are wondering

First of all, a quick spoiler alert: colleges love homeschoolers. They really do! And while many of the academic questions about home education have been answered in big ways over the years, the socialization myth lives on. This is simultaneously fascinating and confusing to me.

Continue reading below or listen here:

The Socialization Question Relies on an Incorrect Belief About the Public School System

Homeschooling has been fairly mainstream in the United States for some time now, at least long enough that many people have likely met not just a homeschooled kindergartner but also a homeschool graduate who’s now a likable, employed, successful, and well-adjusted adult.

Yet for whatever reason, the fears and myths surrounding the socialization question persist. Why is this? What cultural influences drive this question?

At its root, the socialization question relies on the ingrained—but inaccurate—belief that no shy, dysfunctional, or socially awkward child or adult ever emerged from the public school system.

Let’s think about that for a second. Is it really true that traditional brick-and-mortar education is the antidote for social dysfunction? Of course not! The socialization question itself reveals a clear double standard at play. When a disturbed individual surfaces on the news (night after night, in every local new station in the country), no one ever reports that the socialization practices of the public system are flawed and need to be changed.

The Socialization Question Relies on an Incorrect Perception of When Socialization Occurs

It’s easy at times to hold on to an idyllic view of the traditional classroom:

  • a caring teacher
  • a loving group of friends
  • everyone’s individual needs being met
  • all the educational opportunities we could dream of

Yet when we break down traditional education and look at it with a realistic lens in light of the socialization question, how much socialization—conversing, bonding, and making friends—is actually happening at a classroom level?

The truth is, as anyone who’s ever helped in a room full of young students can attest, teachers constantly remind students to stop talking, be quiet, and listen.

Yes, listening is a valuable skill, but when the classroom is held up as the gold standard for forming friendship and relationships, things simply don’t add up. In reality, most true socialization in school does not happen in a classroom, but during the fringe times of schooling:

  • at recess (which are dwindling at an alarming rate in US schools)
  • on class outings and field trips
  • during extra curricular activities

Homeschool parents can offer their children all this—and much, much more—due to the tremendous scheduling flexibility which homeschool offers. While traditionally educated children are sitting in a desk next to same-age peers, homeschooled children have the chance to be plugged in to a wide range of mixed-age experiences, including

  • field trips
  • travel
  • group music lessons
  • specialized classes
  • sports leagues
  • scouting groups
  • internships
  • clubs
  • camps
  • job shadowing

The Socialization Question Relies on an Incorrect and Narrow Definition of Socialization Itself

When my daughter was three, she carried on a vibrant conversation with the stranger across the picnic table at the park. “She speaks so well,” exclaimed the woman, turning toward me. “Where does she go to daycare?” When I explained I stayed at home with my daughter instead of sending her to daycare, the woman was shocked, exclaiming, “Then how did she learn to talk?” (I tried not to take it personally; myths tend to persist in the face of the facts.)

Although it defies logic, some people—like the woman I met at the park—continue to believe a group of extremely young, babbling, pre-verbal, children are better qualified to teach language through interaction than a verbal adult.

But much of this pervasive mindset stems from believing the public school system’s very narrow definition of socialization: interaction between peers born the same year. Due to this limiting view, some people have never thought of interaction outside this narrow age range as legitimate socialization.

The truth is, the traditional model of education—and the subsequent narrow definition of socialization—actually widens the gap between generations, resulting in more social awkwardness.

Think about it. Traditionally-schooled kids spend the majority of each six-hour school day around only those children who are close in age. They tend to initiate conversation and seek friendship primarily within that range.

Homeschooled kids, on the other hand, regularly converse with everyone from the elderly to the very young—not just same-age peers. As a result, homeschoolers are far more comfortable interacting with a wider range of humanity than the average age-segregated student.  And the natural flow of multi-generational interaction prevalent in homeschooling, too, far more closely resembles real life—and real life workplaces—than does a traditional school setting.

So take heart, friends, especially if you’re just beginning this home education journey. Be empowered and encouraged in the face of ill-informed “But what about socialization?” questions. These doubts are flawed at the very root, based on

  • incorrect beliefs about the public school system,
  • incorrect perceptions of when socialization occurs, and
  • incorrect and narrow definitions of socialization itself.

Non-traditional education bypasses these pitfalls, and allows for a wide range of (true!) socialization.

There’s no question. Homeschooling prepares kids very well for the real world.

Experience what it's like to use Sonlight. Request your FREE book and schedule here.

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Jul. 23, 2018

4 Ways Your Homeschool Curriculum May Encourage Dawdling

By Veronica Soto
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4 Ways Your Homeschool Curriculum May Encourage Dawdling

Children are naturally born with a poor sense of time management. They tend not to see the importance of deadlines and schedules and are not experts as using their time wisely. Unfortunately for busy homeschool parents, this tendency to dawdle can create friction when their children don’t complete assignments in a reasonable amount of time.

It may be time to clear the table for dinner, and your adorable dawdler is still laboring over math problems from 3:30 this afternoon!

The first step to conquering dawdling is to uncover the reason. If one of my children is taking a long time, an honest and open conversation usually pinpoints the issue, making it easier to solve.

One of my key revelations in the area of dawdling through the homeschool day is that the problem is often the curriculum instead of the child. It’s easy to look at an assignment, see how straightforward it appears, and assume the child is at fault for not completing it in a speedy manner. Because very young children are typically eager learners, if they are dawdling over an assignment, it usually boils down to one of the following curriculum-based reasons.

1. Dawdling Because It's Too Easy

As a parent, there are certain chores I don’t like because they are mindless and repetitive. For me, it’s the dishes. After every meal, I’m washing the same dishes over and over, day after day. The monotony is excruciating.

For my children, practicing writing the same letters or doing the same types of math problems they already understand is equally tedious. Because they are so young, they don't have the fortitude to approach the task as I would approach the dishes.

Sometimes dawdling is a result of curriculum being too easy, mindless, or repetitive.

2. Dawdling Because It's Too Hard

Just because an assignment many look easy to me, doesn’t mean it’s easy for my child. Even though we are our children's primary teacher, we homeschool parents can still be surprised to learn of gaps in learning. We assume our kids grasp some academic foundation that is actually a mystery to them.

Homeschool dawdling could be because an assignment is too hard or not well understood.

3. Dawdling Because It's Too Long

A child might be willing to complete ten math problems a day but may get overwhelmed by doing thirty. Once she passes that 10-problem limit, the dawdling begins!

I can relate to this kind of child by reminding myself that I might be fine doing a load or two of laundry a day, but if I’m going to be folding and putting away ten loads a day, I need a huge amount of motivation or energy to make it through that mammoth task.

If you see dawdling happen suddenly at a certain point in the assignment, the culprit could be the size of the task.

4. Dawdling Because It's the Wrong Method

Not all children learn equally well with all programs. I’ve seen huge changes in a child’s motivation simply by changing to a math program that fits their personality better or trying a language arts program that uses a different approach.

Correctly identifying the reason for dawdling opens up a workable solution. It's not hard to see in each of the four situations above what the answer is! If work is too monotonous, skip ahead to something more challenging. If the assignment is too long, shorten it. If it's too difficult, stop and reteach or put it aside until your child has more maturity.

Sometimes identifying the problem is as simple as asking our children why they are procrastinating or why they don’t want to do their work. Other times we can observe what happens when they do the work and trust our gut to tell us if the issue is actually a fault of the child or a problem with the curriculum. Don’t be afraid to switch things up in an effort to curb dawdling. Our freedom to make changes on the fly is one of our most valuable homeschool perks.

Sonlight has homeschool consultants available to talk to you about curriculum management issues like dawdling. Click here to schedule an appointment.

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Jul. 20, 2018

A Different Set of Bible Verses for the Burned Out Homeschool Mom

By Veronica Soto
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I’ve seen a lot of posts lately, using Bible verses to encourage moms to do more—to lift them up, prepare them for more work, and to heal their hearts so they can continue on. I love those articles! They motivate me. But sometimes a mom needs a different kind of encouragement. When you are a burned out homeschool mom, exhausted and weary, you need a special type of Bible study that focuses on one of Jesus's enduring habits.

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Jul. 18, 2018

Homeschooling with Humble Confidence

By Bethany Weathersby
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Homeschooling with Humble Confidence

There’s a tendency among homeschooling parents to try convincing the rest of the world that the path they’ve chosen for education is the best. Not the best for their child, their family, or their current season of life. Just the best. Period.

Where Does Overbearing Homeschool Confidence Come From?

Why do some homeschool parents beat this drum that homeschooling is, without qualification, the best educational option? I lump the types of parents into four categories:

  1. On the positive side, some of these moms and dads are in the honeymoon phase of homeschooling, feeling excited about their new adventure and eager to evangelize everyone to their newfound discovery. They’re looking at homeschooling through rose-colored glasses.
  2. Others have been homeschooling for quite some time and have a well-rounded, more realistic perspective of the journey. Those families are fully aware of the cons, but remain convinced they’re far outweighed by the pros.
  3. From a more negative angle, there are homeschool parents who are a defensive because of unsupportive comments from people close to them. They feel compelled to defend their decision and maybe go a bit to the extreme in doing so.
  4. Still others have had homeschooling go well for them, so they pat themselves on the back and fish for compliments.

What Does Overbearing Homeschool Confidence Look Like to Others?

Regardless of what’s prompting this homeschool marketing campaign of sorts, it generally comes across to others as ignorance, insecurity, or pride. Have any of those three traits ever convinced you to change your perspective on something important? Do you feel drawn to people who demonstrate those qualities toward you when you’re in disagreement about something?

Of course not; this type of behavior is totally counter-productive.

  • The mom whose kids are active and happy in public school won’t benefit from your sharing stats on social media about homeschooled kids outscoring their peers on tests.
  • People will roll their eyes at your lack of knowledge when you compare the amount of money a public school gets per student compared to how much you spend to homeschool one child.
  • The school staff who pour themselves into far more kids each day than you’ll ever have under your roof will not feel respected when you stereotype public school employees.
  • The dad paying for private school isn’t going to gain anything by your condescending remark about wasting money on tuition when you can give your kid a better education at home for less.

How to Demonstrate Humble Confidence in Homeschooling

Does that mean we never talk about the perks homeschooling with people or ignore the problems with other schooling options? No, but it does mean we need to homeschool with a correct attitude. Once we’ve determined homeschooling is the best option available for our child at a particular point in time, we need to move forward with both humility and confidence, understanding it may not be the best available option for another child at the same point in time. In fact, it may not be an option at all.

We should focus our energy on homeschooling our own kids, not trying to convince others to homeschool theirs or make them believe we’re doing what’s best for ours. The respect we want people to show toward our choice to homeschool is the same respect we should show toward their decision to choose otherwise. The freedom we want in exercising our belief that it’s a wise choice is the same freedom we need to extend to those who believe differently. The truth is there are kids floundering and excelling, both academically and with the rest of life, in every single school setting. We would do well to remember that.

Actions that Demonstrate the Humble Confidence of a Homeschooler

  • Value education itself more than where it happens.
  • Trust that other families are doing what they believe is right for them, remembering that we don’t know—nor is it our business to know—all the factors that went into their decision.
  • Support local schools by volunteering on their campuses, donating supplies to their classrooms, and buying tickets for their performances and games.
  • Share both the highs and lows of homeschooling in our own lives, the advantages we’ve had and the struggles we face, rather than making broad generalizations that pit homeschooling against other options.
  • Praise the accomplishments of kids in brick and mortar school as eagerly as we do those who are homeschooled.
  • Acknowledge that every schooling option has strengths and weaknesses—objective ones that are inherent and subjective ones that vary by teacher, school, district, child, family, and season of life.
  • Be approachable, sharing information about homeschooling with people when they’ve felt comfortable enough with us to ask questions.

Remember that actions speak louder than words. The way we live our lives as homeschooling families—including how we treat those who are opposed to, uninterested in, or unable to take part in homeschooling—will do far more to make or break people’s views about homeschooling than any article, statistic, or anecdote we share with them.

Let’s demonstrate humble confidence as we educate our kids at home.

Take advantage of Sonlight's 100% guarantee. No other homeschooling company can match our Love to Learn, Love to Teach™ promise. You can order with confidence that either you will have a great year, or you will get a full refund.

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Jul. 13, 2018

4 Reasons to Read Books with Dynamic (not Static) Characters

By Gina Munsey
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4 Reasons to Read Books with Dynamic (not Static) Characters

Recently we moved—a rather sudden, unplanned move—seven-hundred-miles inland, in the middle of the school year. I’m not the type to go poking around for change. We didn’t move because I wanted a change; in fact, I’d be quite content in Tolkien’s idyllic Shire, enjoying a book, second breakfast, and a dependable, comforting routine.

When faced with this move, my husband called it an adventure. I confess I echoed Bilbo Baggins in The Hobbit, “[Adventures?] I have no use for adventures. Nasty disturbing uncomfortable things! Make you late for dinner!”

I know better. I know the value of change. I’ve experienced the transformative power of change. And I know change is at the very heart of redemption, without which there is no life. But in the moment—in the

  • great,
  • tangled,
  • complicated,
  • uncomfortable,
  • farewell-filled

moment, I don’t like change at all.

Bilbo Baggins, of course, didn’t hold on to his adventure-averse attitude. He didn’t remain static, entrenched in the Shire, unwilling to enter any other season of life. Over the course of the book, his willingness to accept change enacts change in him, too. He undergoes an entirely relatable, and yet entirely fantastic, transformation. We need life-giving books like this, and we need to partake in the tremendous joy of sharing them with our children, too.

1. Dynamic Characters Frame Change in an Ultimately Positive Light

We all agree Sonlight books—like The Hobbit and The Door in the Wall and The Light at Tern Rock—are special. The main characters

  • capture our hearts,
  • teach us something of the world,
  • inspire us to embrace courage,
  • and stick with us for a long, long time.

But just what is it that sets the characters in Sonlight books apart from the rest?

To begin, the people we read about in these beloved books present the human experience with some degree of realistic imperfection.  “Heroes should not be flawless,” Sarita writes in her seven-part test for a Sonlight book. “Anti-heroes ought not to be thoroughly detestable. They need to be nuanced and complex – the way real people are.” (Even Smaug and Gollum are not flat characters, dripping in over-the-top evil. There is a subtlety to them which resonates with the human experience. And Bilbo himself is nowhere near perfect.)

Just as we desperately need books with flawed literary characters, we also need books with dynamic, developing characters. “The protagonist must change for the better over the course of the book”, writes Sarita in the second part of the Sonlight book test. (Dickens’ Ebeneezer Scrooge of A Christmas Carol is perhaps the most widely-recognized dynamic character.)

But why does this quality of being changeable matter so much?

2. Dynamic Characters Remind us Life Depends on Change

As nature’s most basic level, we see the importance of change. Jesus says, in John 12:24, “Truly, truly, I say to you, unless a grain of wheat falls into the earth and dies, it remains alone; but if it dies, it bears much fruit.” The Message version translates the second part of the verse as follows: “In the same way, anyone who holds on to life just as it is destroys that life. But if you let it go, reckless in your love, you’ll have it forever, real and eternal.” (Emphasis mine.)

There’s a symbolic meaning there as well as literal, but either way, it is undeniable: without change, there can be no life. A sprout must trade the cotyledon seed leaves of its infancy for true leaves, else it will shrivel up and die. A blossom must disintegrate to make way for the fruit. In The Door in the Wall, young Robin’s very life depended on embracing the changes Brother Luke brought into his world.

3. Dynamic Characters Spur Us to Greater Growth

"Life is a process of becoming,” wrote author Anaïs Nin, “a combination of states we have to go through. Where people fail is that they wish to elect a state and remain in it. This is a kind of death." One would never describe Nin as espousing a Christian worldview, yet she understood well this rudimentary truth: growth cannot take place in a stagnant place.

Our children need to understand this fundamental principle, too. And we have the great privilege of feeding their souls with stories of those who did not remain static, stories about people like

all of whom did not elect a state and dwell in it, but grew from the conflict in their lives, as painful as those experiences sometimes were.

4. Dynamic Characters Model a Teachable Spirit

Dynamic characters are crucial literary friends for our children—and for us—because they model

  • the spirit of humility,
  • the essence of being teachable,
  • the transformative power of redemption,
  • the good which can arise out of failure, and
  • the opportunities for growth resulting from mistakes.

Perhaps most powerfully, dynamic characters remind us tragedy is not the end. Johnny Tremain’s story did not end when he burned his hand. Robin’s story did not end John-the-Fletcher failed to arrive. There is always more to the story.

No matter what seemingly-insurmountable challenge or grief you or your children are facing, this is not the end. You are yet in the middle of your story. It is still being written. And, in Christ, the best is still to come.

Request a Sonlight curriculum catalog, filled with books with dynamic characters.

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Jul. 11, 2018

How I Choose Sonlight Programs for a 4-Year High School Plan

By Veronica Soto
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I’ve often been asked which Sonlight levels we use for high school, how I determine which levels to do and which to skip. I’ve also been asked about some of the middle school levels (F, G, and H mainly) and whether or not they are high school-worthy. In other words, are they rigorous enough to assign high school credit on a transcript?

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