Forgiveness and Reconciliation

Share this post via email










Submit

Have you ever watched your children say "I'm sorry" when they clearly don't mean it?

I just spent a wonderful week with my children and grandchildren, and the idea of family and forgiveness is on my mind. We had the opportunity to see some of these situations play out before our eyes as young siblings and cousins had to deal with hurts—some accidental, some intentional.

Even with people whom we love dearly and genuinely enjoy, relationships are not neat and tidy. We're often caught in situations where we end up hurting others and/or being hurt ourselves. So what do we do?

Among many things, we need to seek forgiveness ... and not just spin off a quick "I'm sorry" that fails to take responsibility for whatever real wrong we did. (After all, the people we hurt are usually sorry, too, that we have hurt them!) The question is not, Am I sorry? The question is, Am I willing to own up to my fault? I have come to the conclusion that even when I am convinced the other person is 99% in the wrong, I need to seek to understand and recognize the 1% responsibility that I share in the bad situation. If I'm convinced I have absolutely no role in an interpersonal problem, how can I become part of the solution?

I'm so grateful that John has modeled this concept in our family, and especially our marriage. I seek to live it out as well.

In our marriage (and in all my relationships), when I recognize my role, acknowledge it and ask for forgiveness, I crack open the doors for reconciliation. Even if I cannot see my contribution to the problem, I must at least ask the question "How can I be made right with you?"

Now, this doesn't mean I have to take all the blame and make excuses for the person who hurt me. If I truly only have a small part in the problem, I take responsibility for that part. I don't burden myself by taking responsibility for what I had no part in. Then I seek to move forward with the other person.

One important caveat: If you are in an abusive situation, please don't give in to the temptation to take blame and responsibility where you have none. Seek the help you need and protect yourself and your family.

But in less extreme situations, this difficult self-searching and acceptance of responsibility can go a long way on the road to healing.

As I continue to spend time with family this season, I will strive to not let interpersonal difficulties go unacknowledged. I will strive to accept responsibility for my contribution to problems and seek forgiveness and reconciliation when needed.

Please know that I hold the whole Sonlight community dear to my heart. John and I and the Sonlight staff pray for you and your family, your marriage and your relationships. May God guide you and deeply bless you in this holiday season.

Blessings to you and yours,
Sarita

Share this post via email










Submit
Leave a comment

Incomplete

Share this post via email










Submit

It is Friday morning. You're out running an errand. You pass a little church with a marquee out front. The sign has a cute little saying. You know, something straight out of GodSpeaks.com.

Or maybe not.

Perhaps the message is more abrasive, disturbing or even downright wrong.

Ugh.

The good news is that Matt from The Church or No People just posted an interview with someone who was fed up with such signs [NB: mild language]. Joel's insights are right on the money:

The crummiest thing about the church is that we’re all still in the process of sanctification, and not yet glorified.

I found the interview to be a worthwhile read. I came away with a reminder that I'm still incomplete. I still have a long way to go.

Just like this blog.

I've been a "professional" blogger for almost a year and a half now. I'm missing elements such as meta data (whatever that is). I still haven't figured out why my header looks wrong in IE. And my current blog grade is a failing 26/100.

Incomplete.

We all are. There are opportunities for improvement and progress in every area of our lives: Blogging, friends, marriage, homeschooling...

The beautiful thing is that, much like the little church with the lame sign, we have a community around us. We don't have to go at this alone. We shouldn't. So if you're feeling particularly incomplete today, take advantage of the resources available to you. I'll list just a few.

Luke's Top Five Resources for Homeschooling with Sonlight:

  1. Sonlight Advisors
  2. Sonlight's Facebook page
  3. Sonlight's Forums
  4. Homeschool Conventions
  5. and, of course, this blog.

We are all incomplete. But by working together we can rest on the strengths of others. We can learn from those who have gone before us. And we can share our insights as well.

I urge you: Get involved!

After five years of posting about poor church signs, Joel has recently become more involved in his church. And he says in his interview that life is awesome now.

And I'll take an awesome incomplete life over an incomplete one.

I'd love to hear your recent homeschool insights, experiences or questions/struggles if you're willing to share!

 ~Luke Holzmann
Filmmaker, Writer, Surrogate Father

Share this post via email










Submit
Leave a comment

The Early Years - Priorities

Share this post via email










Submit

I had the opportunity to chat via email with a new homeschooler the other day. She is educating a 6 year old and has a toddler and a newborn as well. Needless to say, she was feeling a bit frazzled!

Some practical thoughts that I shared with her were helpful to me when I walked in her shoes ...

The first thing I would concentrate on is to make a list of priorities. What academic skills do you most wish to focus on with your student? Personally ... phonics was at the top of my list for that age. If they can learn to read well, then all other subjects become that much easier. I would also work on some foundational math concepts. Everything else is "gravy"! Reading and Math ... just two subjects.

Plan to spend 20-30 minutes each day on math and 20-30 minutes each day on reading. A total of one hour of "formal" schooling. You may want to do math in the morning and reading in the afternoon ... you may want to do 15 minutes of math and then take a break and finish the final 15 minutes after the break. There are a multitude of ways to break it up, but these two subjects ... one hour per day ... would be my priority. Now that doesn't sound quite so overwhelming!

More to follow ...
~Judy

Share this post via email










Submit
Tagged | Leave a comment

Guarantees and Testimonials

Share this post via email










Submit

Sonlight has--to my knowledge--an unmatched guarantee in the homeschool marketplace. Buy one of Sonlight's packages. Use half of it. If you decide you don't love it, send it back. We'll refund you the cost of the program.

Incredible.

In other words: Try Sonlight. We'll cover your "trial run" if Sonlight's not for you.

But I'm interested: Did you find Sonlight's Love to Learn Guarantee helpful? Did it encourage you to try Sonlight? Or does it feel like some kind of "too good to be true" scam thingy? Did you even know Sonlight had such a guarantee?

I'm interested in your thoughts for three reasons:

  1. I would love to get some testimonials about this.
  2. I'm interested in your thoughts.
  3. December 1 brought about some changes...

Don't worry: Sonlight's guarantee is still very much in effect. It's just as strong as ever. But the Federal Trade Commission has enacted some "clarifications" as to how companies--especially company bloggers such as myself--can use comments, user feedback and testimonials.

Unfortunately, for all the buzz I'm seeing about the December 1 "change," I can't find it on the FTC site. Which is more than a little frustrating. So I've been reading second-hand information.

I'd like your first-hand impression of Sonlight's guarantee. I invite your comments.

Afraid to post your comment because of the FTC?

Don't worry. They seem to care about the blog owner, not the commentors. I'm taking the risk. Not you. ...much like Sonlight's Sonlight's guarantee.

 ~Luke Holzmann
Filmmaker, Writer, Surrogate Father

Share this post via email










Submit
7 Comments

There's No Place Like 127.0.0.1

Share this post via email










Submit


Home

I wore that shirt as we headed home yesterday.

I'm a homebody. And ever since college I've defined home as "anywhere I have my computer setup and connected to the internet." So the shirt totally applies.

I also love what I do. There was more than one occasion amidst the stress of travel and the cacophony of 8 children and 9 adults that I turned to Brittany and said, "I could be at work right now!" And I have a computer at work. And it is connected to the internet. I feel at home here.

The vacation was good. I got to "bond" more with the girls. But that was difficult as well. Bonding with children takes more patience than I often have. My conclusion: Family vacations are wonderful things. But there will be times when you wish you could just go home.

This would be the perfect time to talk about how there's no place like home for learning. This would be the place to praise homeschooling. Here is the opportunity to put home education on a pedestal. There's no place like home!

But I'm not going to.

It's entirely possible that prior to children your definition of home was "peace and quiet;" "a place to unwind after work;" "time spent with my spouse." But no more. Children decimate that. And being on vacation with two little ones just drove that home for me.

Homeschooling is hard. There are days and times when it really doesn't feel worth the trouble. Just like vacationing on the beach with 8 children under 7.

But no matter how horrible it gets, homeschooling is worth it.

Just like vacationing on the beach.

Because, really, there's no place like home.

 ~Luke Holzmann
Filmmaker, Writer, Surrogate Father

Share this post via email










Submit
7 Comments

Bad Day for Public School

Share this post via email










Submit

I used to quip that I could write faster than I could read. And it was almost true.

I've been a fairly good typist ever since I taught myself by attempting to write a mystery novel at age 10 or so. I got to 83 pages of single-spaced text. That's when I went back to read what I had written. Horrified by my pathetic prose, I abandoned the project.

But reading blogs has forced me to learn how to skim. So my reading speed has much improved. I hope the same is true of my writing. That said...

While burning through hundreds of posts in my RSS reader this week, I saw a recurring theme: Major problems within public schools. Things like poor mental math ability, Hollywood in the classroom, and the lack of acceptance of those who are different [NB: that last post has mild profanity]. Stories like these cause me to pause. 'What's changed in the last few years? Was it like that when I was a kid?'

I am not a proponent of a "the world's getting perpetually worse" mentality. I think such a perspective ignores human history. But there are certainly shifts in culture. What is acceptable and proper ebbs and flows. So it is entirely possible that this is a low point--or a shift downward--for our nation's public schools.

If you find your students in similarly less-than-ideal educational environments, perhaps it's time to consider a home education. Yes?

Absolutely. Yes.

 ~Luke Holzmann
Filmmaker, Writer, Surrogate Father

P.S. I am going on vacation next week. I won't be back until a few days into December; at which time I will need to skim quickly to try to catch up with the thousands of posts I'll have missed. Have a wonderful time of thanksgiving! And I'll see you next month.

Share this post via email










Submit
6 Comments

Note Taking - Learned Skill?

Share this post via email










Submit

I spoke recently with a homeschooling mom who was concerned because her daughter was in sixth grade and didn't have a clue how to take notes. She was looking for a product or formula that she might use to teach this skill. I made the following, cost-effective (nothing to buy!) suggestions:

  • Start off by explaining the purpose of note-taking: to keep a record of your condensed understanding of what you're reading or hearing. In other words ... don't trust your memory!
  • The next step is learning to focus and concentrate while listening. If you are reading a book aloud to your student ... tell them that each time they hear what seems to be an important tidbit of information, they need to write it down. These would be things like an important date, someone's age, or a location where something occurred. This might even include any words or terms they don't understand.
  • In between listening for these types of note-worthy "facts" ... suggest that they make notes that will act as "reminders". Perhaps you're reading a chapter about Washington's winter at Valley Forge. Were there things mentioned in the chapter that helped them understand "why" the army was there? Perhaps something that gave a basic explanation of "what" was going on politically at the time? These all make good reminders.
  • Compare note-taking to being a newspaper reporter. They always need to be answering ... Who? What? When? Where? Why? and How?

The ultimate goal? To be able to go back and read over their notes and come away with the same knowledge/understanding they gained when they first read or heard the information. Note-taking acts as a "refresher" of sorts.

Keep in mind ... this takes practice. You may need to prod a bit at first ... or even come alongside and take notes that they might copy. Read a few sentences from a book to your students, and then stop and say ... "If it were me, I would make a note of the following ..."

As your student gains proficiency in knowing what they need to make notes of, then help them to develop their own style of note-taking "shorthand".

  • Helpful abbreviations
  • Use incomplete sentences
  • Use bullet points or asterisks to make points stand out on a page

Church sermons, TV or radio news reports, or even a DVD documentary all provide great opportunities for practicing note-taking. And who knows ... working with your student may help your skills to improve as well!!

~Judy

Share this post via email










Submit
Tagged | Leave a comment