Musical Chairs

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Background: I've been having a rather... "lively" discussion with my friend Cherish--and I hope I don't say anything stupid so she'll still be my friend after this (I love you, Cherish!).

You can read the posts and my comments here and here.

This is my second attempt at a response. My first post was crazy long and still hadn't addressed all the issues.


A Story: So I'm in Kindergarten and we're playing musical chairs. Corrie, the cute little blond girl is the odd one out, and no matter how hard she tries, she just can't get a seat. Between one of the musical sets, Timothy comes over to me and says, "You should give up your chair so Corrie can have a chance sitting down."

I protest, "But I've been playing fairly and doing well. I'm not going to give up my chair for her."

But then Mrs. Donaldson comes over and says, "Now Luke, you've got a very nice sweater and Corrie does not. You need to give up your seat so she isn't disenfranchised. And you needn't worry: You've got a sweater."

I don't know what the word "disenfranchised" means, but I can't really argue with the teacher.

The game continues until Brandon wins. But in the next round Lisa rolls her ankle when Timothy bumps into her so she's going to be moving slowly. Mrs. Donaldson gives me a look.

What!? Corrie was bad enough, but Lisa is my arch nemesis. She picks on me on the playground and makes my young life miserable. But Mrs. Donaldson didn't see Timothy bump into Lisa, so he's not going to be held responsible.

It sit out another game. "But I've got a sweater." Whatever that has to do with this.

The next round starts and Mrs. Donaldson steps out of the classroom. When the music stops, Douglas actually shoves Corrie out of her chair to get a spot. Mrs. Donaldson returns to see Corrie sitting on the ground, sobbing.

"What happened?" the teacher asks.

"Douglas pushed Corrie out of her seat," I say.

"Did not," the guilty party replies.

Mrs. Donaldson looks at Corrie and the other children. "Did he?"

No one says anything.

"Well, Luke," Mrs. Donaldson finally says, "why don't you sit out this game too. You've got your sweater and it's the nice thing to do."

I started homeschooling the next year.


Conclusion: That was a work of historical fiction, but in good old Sonlight fashion, I figured a story would be more powerful than a logical discourse.

Now, if you haven't already, please read the posts and my comments here and here. And then tell me what you think.

~Luke Holzmann
Filmmaker, Writer, Expectant Father

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  1. Mrs. C

    What I think? It's easy to down the man involved in a lot of these hypothetical situations... but turn it around. What say does a loving, responsible man have if his baby is about to be aborted? And when people talk about a *woman's* right to choose, why does only the woman get to decide?

    SURE, I carry these babies around for nine months, but I'll tell ya, it's my HUSBAND who has to keep his job so they can eat now. So, HE gets no say on whether he's saddled for the next 18-plus years of payments? He couldn't opt out if we weren't married?

    Just saying. And yes, giving up a child for adoption is not something I'd wish on anyone. But I know people who have done it. These are folks who LOVE THEIR CHILDREN, but want a better life for them than they'd be able to provide given the situation.

    PS. Your sweater is nicer than mine, but I'm going to be happy with what I have. I'm allergic to wool anyway, so it isn't really sour grapes.


  2. Craig and Heather

    I gotta process this one.


  3. risakopp asked for my opinion....

    #1- Too many Christians whine about abortion and who gets into office, but don't do anything beyond voting every once in awhile for a anti-abortion candidate. If one feels that strongly about abortion, then perhaps one should do something about it. I was glad to see in the initial posting that some pastors are doing something DIFFERENT than the norm. Hooray for them for getting out of the religious box. (I'm serious!)

    #2- I think that if someone has the "responsibility" of a child, then they need to act like a "responsible" adult and GROW UP and take care of their children, whether they were planned or not.

    To be perfectly honest, even some of the most poor people in the USA have it better than many other countries as far as food, shelter, clothing and transportation. What it comes down to is that we are one spoiled nation! We are selfish...myself included in this.

    I grew up poor. Our house had a crack between the foundation and the outside wall in the bathroom. (You could see outdoors...) Our home was heated with a single woodstove. We often had only one vehicle...a Dodge truck. We ate just about EVERY part of an animal that you can think of, including beef tongue. This isn't about getting applause for myself, but for my parents who taught me to be happy no matter what my situation in life. The funny thing is that when I was growing up I didn't even realize how "tough" our life was. I was having fun just being a kid and being thankful for what I had.

    #3- Yes, the man needs to take more responsibility too. However, I wonder how many of these men actually know that their mate is going to get an abortion done. On the other hand, I'm sure that there are just as many, if not more, who are pushing their wives get one.

    To me, this all comes down to the mentality that children are an inconvenience rather than a blessing. I get a lot of flack from people because we are expecting our fifth child. It's not always easy to have a large family...let me be the first to say it!

    When the grocery bill hits the roof and makes me want to ball my eyes out, I feel strongly how hard it is. But I look at it from another angle and try to see what I, as a "responsible" mother, can do to make this grocery bill cheaper. When my children are loud and disobedient and getting on my last nerve, I have to look at it from the perspective of WHY are my nerves so shot? Is it because I'm inconvenienced? What can I, as a "responsible" mother, do to change the environment of my home?

    Do many Americans need a larger home...nicer cars...status? How many of them are really still living in a state of childhood, giving in constantly to their own wants rather than just taking life on the chin?

    Children are children. I am an adult. Being an adult means making "responsible" and UNSELFISH decisions. That's part of growing up.

    In conclusion, I do NOT like abortion. However, I don't like how many Christians just whine about it and politics all the time, instead of taking some initiative to change their world.

    Just my own two cents...and you DID ask for it! :)

  4. Esthermay

    Good one! .. . about charging fathers with murder. Very good!

    Sometimes the welfare state mentality of our government and the encouragement of it just gets all confused and blended in with the flat-out ABOMINATION of abortion and I can't comment because there's not enough space in someone else's blog comment page to do it.

    I am a pro-life wacko right wing Christian conservative - so I'll leave it to you to figure out what I think.

    And the sweater has EVERYTHING to do with it. See. . . you have (had) a nicer sweater. Which sweater your parents probably worked hard to afford for you. It is your duty as a patriotic American [kid] to give (share... same difference) it to someone who has chosen not to work and afford a nice sweater. Come on!? Don't tell us you don't understand that. (See welfare-state mentality comment above.)

    ... and the reason I'm visiting you this evening is SO NOT important. I got tagged and chose to tag the most recent six new followers of my own blog. Sorry. Go here:
    if you want - or not. Sorry!

    This blog is unique and I'm going back to be your follower now.

    Have you seen our children's homeschool blog?
    The children (ages 4 and 5) tell me what they want posted. It really is their very own blog.

    And -- btw -- they are very much enjoying SONLIGHT. Mom & Dad have slight issue with creation aspect (and slight lack of it...) in science curriculum -- will have to see how this plays out in later grades.

    Glad to know you!
    Kindest Thoughts,

  5. Luke

    Mrs. C, that's an interesting perspective. I haven't thought about it before because I don't read much about guys who want to keep the baby while the girl wants to drop it. Interesting...

    I don't recall if that sweater was wool or not. That was a few years ago... <smile>

    Heather, I'll take that as a good thing <smile>.

    Risa, I agree: Too often there is a disconnect between what we want and with what we're willing to be involved. And I'm very happy to have your two cents. ...maybe now I can afford to feed my own kids <laughing>

    Esthermay, thanks for sharing your thoughts. And, no, I hadn't visited your children's blog yet. They are now in my reader. As for the tag... I'll see what I can do <smile>.

    Sorry for my late response. I was on vacation and the internet was spotty.