Help your kids develop genuine thankfulness that goes beyond “please and thank you.” Discover eight practical strategies to raise grateful children.
The Importance of Teaching Gratitude to Your Kids
We all teach our kids to say, “Thank you,” when they receive a gift or when someone holds the door open. It’s one of those basic manners we try to instill in them early on. But real gratitude, the kind that transforms hearts, impacts the way we live, and informs our perspectives, goes deeper than automatic politeness.
Raising grateful kids means giving them a gift that will serve them throughout their lives. Research from Harvard and UCLA Health shows that grateful people have healthier and happier lives, as gratitude:
- improves relationships,
- helps people experience more happiness,
- leads to better physical and mental health, and
- leads to increased resilience when facing challenges.
Also, scripture commands us to be grateful and to have praise on our lips at all times:
- Give thanks to the LORD, for he is good. His love endures forever. Psalm 136:1
- Enter his gates with thanksgiving and his courts with praise; give thanks to him and praise his name. For the LORD is good and his love endures forever; his faithfulness continues through all generations. Psalm 100:4-5
- All this is for your benefit, so that the grace that is reaching more and more people may cause thanksgiving to overflow to the glory of God. 2 Corinthians 4:15
How to Teach Gratitude to Kids: Practical Strategies
As parents, we have the beautiful opportunity and responsibility to help our children develop a grateful heart posture. But how do we move beyond the rote “say thank you” to nurturing/encouraging genuine thankfulness? Let’s explore practical ways to raise grateful kids:
Allow Delayed Gratification
Who wants to tell their child "no" when it's in your power to say "yes"? No one. Our instinct as parents is to give our children everything we can, especially if we have the means to do so. But here's a counterintuitive truth: your child can learn to be even more grateful for a new toy or special treat if they earn it or have to wait for it.
Delayed gratification teaches children that good things are worth waiting for. When a child saves their allowance for weeks to buy that special LEGO set, or when they wait until their birthday for that much-desired toy, the joy is sweeter and the appreciation deeper. They learn the value of what they're receiving because they've invested time, effort, or patience into obtaining it.
This doesn't mean being needlessly restrictive—it means being intentional. Consider implementing practices like:
- Having children save a portion of their allowance for desired items
- Reserving certain treats for special occasions rather than everyday occurrences
- Creating a "wish list" where children can see items they want, but understand they won't receive everything immediately
Get and Stay Connected
Gratitude flourishes when children understand the broader context of their lives—when they're connected not just with family and friends, but with the world and community around them. This connection helps them recognize how blessed they are and develop empathy for others.
Consider volunteer opportunities you can get involved in as a family. Even younger kids can participate in donation-related activities like sorting canned goods at a food bank, assembling care packages, or helping pack school supplies for children in need. These hands-on experiences make abstract concepts concrete for young minds.
These moments also provide natural opportunities to talk to your kids about those who are less fortunate or who may not have the same opportunities or lives as they do. These conversations don't need to be heavy or guilt-inducing; instead, they can be gentle discussions about different life circumstances and how we can help make a difference.
Take Time to Thank God for Your Blessings
As Christians, we are called to give thanks to God at all times (1 Thessalonians 5:18). Incorporating gratitude into your prayer life is one of the most powerful ways to develop a heart of thankfulness in your children. When considering how to teach gratitude to kids from a faith perspective, prayer becomes a natural and powerful tool.
Make Thanksgiving a regular part of your family's spiritual rhythm. Some ideas include:
- Gratitude at Dinner: Take time to literally count your blessings together by sharing a set number of things you're grateful for that happened that day. Even on difficult days, this practice trains our minds to look for the good.
- The Alphabet Gratitude Game: Go person to person saying what you're grateful for following the letters of the alphabet. "I'm grateful for apples," "I'm grateful for my brother," "I'm grateful for our cozy home," and so on. This game makes gratitude fun while encouraging creative thinking.
- Bedtime Blessings: End the day by sharing "highs and lows" with a focus on finding things to thank God for, even in the challenging moments.
When we model a lifestyle of continual thanksgiving, our children learn that gratitude isn't reserved for special occasions—it's a constant posture of the heart.
Develop Habits & Traditions Surrounding Gratitude
Consistent habits and meaningful traditions anchor gratitude in your family culture. These practices give children regular opportunities to exercise their "gratitude muscles" until thankfulness becomes second nature. If you're wondering how to teach gratitude to kids in a way that sticks, creating consistent family traditions is key.
One of our Sonlight Mentors, Lisa, recently shared her family's beautiful tradition: After losing her mother and navigating the grief of that loss in October 2012, God gave Lisa “the idea to focus on what I had, not what [she] had lost. So [her family’s 30 Days of Thanks tradition was born.” Every day, all the members of Lisa’s family add their own reason to be grateful to a poster throughout the month of Thanksgiving, and they aren’t allowed to repeat answers. While her children are adults now, they have continued the tradition via text and social media.
What traditions could your family create? Perhaps it's a gratitude jar where family members add notes throughout the year and read them together on Thanksgiving. Maybe it's a weekly gratitude circle or keeping gratitude journals. The specific tradition matters less than the consistency and intentionality behind it.
Want to hear more parenting and homeschooling tips from our Mentors? Join the Sonlight Connections app for regular wisdom and encouragement!
Send Thank You Cards
In our digital age, a handwritten thank-you card stands out. But beyond being good manners, the practice of writing thank-you notes reinforces gratitude by giving children time to reflect on what they've received and who gave it to them.
And thank you cards aren't just for birthday gifts! Encourage your children to send cards when:
- The librarian goes out of their way to help at story time
- A neighbor shows kindness
- A friend includes them in something special
- A teacher spends extra time helping them understand something
- Grandparents send a care package
Practice What You Preach
This may be the most important point on our list. Children are remarkably perceptive, and they learn far more from what they see their parents do than from what they hear their parents say. The most effective way to teach gratitude to kids is through your own example.
Are you modeling gratitude in your daily life? Do your children hear you thanking your spouse for everyday tasks? Do they see you expressing appreciation to service workers, teachers, and friends? Do you voice thankfulness to God, even in difficult circumstances?
Take inventory of your own gratitude practices. Where can you be more intentional? Your children are watching, and your authentic example will shape their hearts more than any lecture ever could.
Recognize and Honor Generosity and Kindness in Others
Make it a habit to point out when people are generous or kind. When you see someone hold the door, help a struggling parent with a stroller, or let another car merge in traffic, comment on it to your children. "Did you see how that person helped? That was really thoughtful of them."
And don't forget to recognize these qualities in your own children! When you catch your child sharing, helping a sibling, or showing kindness to someone else, acknowledge it specifically. "I noticed how you shared your snack with your brother without him even asking. That was generous and kind." This recognition reinforces grateful, generous behavior
Practice Random Acts of Kindness
Gratitude and generosity are two sides of the same coin. When we receive with grateful hearts, we naturally want to give to others. Help your children experience this beautiful cycle by planning and executing random acts of kindness together. Part of how to teach gratitude to kids involves showing them how to give back to others.
These don’t have to be elaborate acts. You can donate gently used toys, pay for the person behind you in the drive-through, leave a note and treat for your neighbors, or create care packages for those who are unhoused.
For more ideas, explore Sonlight’s Heart for the World resource.
Cultivate Lasting Gratitude in Your Home
Teaching gratitude to your children is one of the most valuable investments you can make in their character and future well-being. It takes intentionality, consistency, and patience, but the rewards—children who appreciate their blessings, show kindness to others, and maintain a positive outlook even in difficulties—are immeasurable. As you implement these strategies for how to teach gratitude to kids, remember that small, consistent steps make the biggest difference over time.
Ready to make gratitude a cornerstone of your family culture?
Cultivate a heart of gratitude in your kids using our free resource. This kit includes a printable Gratitude Tree, a 30-day gratitude challenge, prompts to inspire meaningful conversations, fun activities, and more!
