How to develop character in your children & get the laundry done

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You have a vision for the kind of people you want your children to become...but then life happens. Dinner must appear; the laundry pile grows; toddlers demand attention. How do you successfully instill character in your children as a natural part of your life?

Character is caught, not taught.

Your children are watching. Parents often underestimate the power of a living example. When you make right choices in front of your children and explain why you make certain choices, they are more likely to act in a similar way when they face difficult situations.

Jill shares some more thoughts on this topic in her blog post Catching Character.

Thought-provoking literature and discussion make life-lessons memorable.

Conversations with your children form the foundation for their character. As a homeschool parent, you have a unique opportunity to experience life with your children and to spark discussion about topics that matter.

Books can serve as great conversation starters. Every good story has conflict—use the ethical dilemmas in good books to help your child learn how to make right choices.

For example, you can talk about violence and the need to belong when you read The Outsiders, or discuss respect for human life and courage to face injustice when you read the book Twenty and Ten. You'll be amazed how life lessons stick when you introduce your children to godly heroes and hope in the midst of the realities of the world.

Read more about Sonlight's literature-based approach to homeschooling.

Help your children experience character in context—a key aspect of life, not a chore to complete.

You can be sure your family will encounter countless opportunities to grow in character naturally as you read and talk about thought-provoking books. You don't have to tack on a character-based checklist in addition to the studies you and your children already do. Be efficient!

Because character development is one of our high values at Sonlight, we structure our curriculum to give you the maximum opportunity to pass along your family values and enjoy quality interaction with your children. As intriguing plots, interesting characters, and beautiful imagery captivate you and your children, you'll all be growing along the way.

Browse your homeschool curriculum options to see all the books you could read for school this year!

Simple ideas you can try today to help your child develop character...

Talk with your children about the books you read.
Ask questions to help them think critically:

  • What would you have done in this situation?
  • What kind of consequences do you think could come with this character's actions?
  • How do you think this character showed bravery (or kindness, or honesty, etc.)?

Work together while you talk

My mom and I engaged in some of our best conversations while we dried dishes or weeded the flower bed. The work gave our hands something to do while our minds, mouths and hearts took over! Encourage your children to work alongside you. You'll help them develop a good work ethic, and grow together through your discussions.

Affirm right choices
Do you find you focus only on the situations where your child disobeys? Be sure to affirm the right choices they make as well. When your children faithfully obey, let them know how proud you are. When they give you an honest answer when they're in trouble, follow through on discipline, but reward their honesty. As a parent, you know your child best. Tailor your responses in a way that will help them grow.

Enjoy these days with your children and come and share in the Sonlight community.

Make the most of your own example, intentional discussions, great literature, and everyday experiences to help your children blossom into confident people of character. Feel free to explore Sonlight and find out more ways we seek to help you and your family grow and learn together. We would love to have you get involved in the Sonlight community.

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Your Image of School

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Post after post today contained pictures of homeschoolers doing their homeschooling thing. Children sitting at their desks with their math textbooks. Kids filling out worksheets. A family spread around a table, pencils in hand.

Conspicuously missing from these pictures of homeschool life is the one thing I remember from my own. Absent were the kinds of photos that pepper the Sonlight Catalog every year. I didn't see a single image reflecting the Sonlight ideal of how we learn together.

This omission reminded me of a proposed marketing theme from years back. The idea capitalized on the way Sonlight is such a radical shift from the norm. I couldn't find a mockup of the concept, so I tossed one together:


Welcome to Your New School

When I think of homeschooling, I picture myself near the couch. The sofa = school. Whether we were crammed onto it during an exciting story, or playing near it while my mom read about far off lands, or draped across it while lost in another world, the couch is the central image of my homeschooling experience.

There's something friendly, inviting, family-oriented, and literature-focused about my memory of the family room couch. And reading--together, alone, or out loud--is my image of homeschooling.

When you think of homeschooling, what image pops into your head?

 ~Luke Holzmann
Filmmaker, Writer, Empty Nester

P.S. I couldn't find a picture of the "Welcome to Your New School" image, but I did find an old snapshot of myself. It seemed blog worthy to me:

Worksheets? This is Homeschool!
(said in my best Spartan voice)

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Four Questions for the New Year

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In his last sermon of 2010, our pastor presented us with four questions based on 2 Timothy 4:6-18. To help us prepare for the new year, he gave us time to write thoughts on each before moving to the next. I'd like to share some of my answers here. How would you answer these questions?

What do I need to Celebrate? (v.6-8)

  • My Passport to India—as Sonlighters, together we raised $300,000. That will send almost a third of a million children to Bible Club. I'm looking forward to one day in heaven meeting some of the children who became believers because of our children's sacrifices.
  • My family—we weathered the tough experience of losing a beloved daughter and granddaughter, Gracie Lou. She's another person I'm looking forward to getting to know in heaven. Also, our youngest son graduated from college and got a good job. I'm grateful to have that milestone behind me.
  • A successful completion of my second term on my churches' business council—a huge privilege.
  • Twenty years of Sonlight Curriculum!

What do I need to Change? (v. 9-12)

  • I've begun a prayer journal to 1) encourage me to pray more regularly, and 2) to focus my attention on God's answers. I want to keep this diligently.
  • Contact my out of town grandchildren more—as a person who dreads picking up the phone to make a call, I need to press in on this goal.

What do I need to Conclude? (v. 14-15)

  • OK, I'll admit it. I need to cut back on my Sudoku playing. I fear it's almost becoming a compulsion!

What am I Contending for? (v. 16-18)

I strive to:

  • Help families learn together.
  • Help parents raise children with Godly hearts for the world.
  • Help connect children with quality literature and worthy heroes.
  • Support and encourage homeschoolers.
  • Be there for my children and grandchildren and pray fervently for them.

Many blessings in the new year,
Sarita

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The Quick Fix: Reminders of Process

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Ever have a moment where you wish you could just snap your fingers and have whatever it is that needs doing done?

  • Laundry
  • Dinner
  • Cleaning
  • That year-old remodeling project

Even projects I enjoy can become a burden, especially if there is a deadline (real or self-imposed). I'd much rather have my latest Sonlight website improvement instantly completed. But, alas, it's taking time to make it happen. How frustrating! The fact that I want to share it with you makes the waiting even harder.

This longing for a quick fix is a reminder of something else: Process.

Just as efforts to improve Sonlight's homeschooling curriculum and website take time, it will take time for homeschooling to produce results as well. But for as much as I'd love to show you new and cool things from Sonlight, you want your children to get the education they need even more. As each day and year passes, I know many homeschoolers wonder: Is my child learning enough?

Those who are antagonistic to homeschooling like to point to the quick fix that is public education. There are professionals at school. But this misses the point of education: The process, the steady nurturing of a life-long love of learning while gaining knowledge and wisdom and insights. School is no more a quick fix than snapping my fingers. But school--no matter where it takes place--when combined with effort and care fosters learning. Your child is leaning, likely more than you realize. But they are in process.

I hate process. I'd rather just be done with it and move on to the end of the next thing, and the next. But the quick fix is an illusion. This illusion is a reminder that persistence eventually makes what we are building a reality.

In the days to come--as you wish for that magic finger snap--remember that this is a life-long process. Enjoy what you can, take what help is available, and push through the rest.

If you feel like your homeschooling process isn't working as well as it should, please chat with a Sonlight Homeschool Advisor. Sonlight's Advisors, as homeschool moms, have been-there and done-that. They can encourage you on your homeschool journey and offer insights and answer your questions.

Look at that: Homeschooling is a process for everyone.

 ~Luke Holzmann
Filmmaker, Writer, Empty Nester

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Cease and Desist

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As my dad recently blogged: The new year is a time for considering the future. But it needs to be more than just figuring out what new things we are going to do.

We also need to figure out what we're going to stop doing. With a limited amount of time each day, we have to "pick our battles." We can't do it all. So along with resolutions like reading more, exercising more, praying more, or whatever other things we will do more of... what are we going to do proportionally less of?

Put another way: What are we going to stop, quit, cease and desist?

If you've been following this blog long enough, you may recall the start of our adoption story and then our surrogate parenting gig. But now, just as the days of being surrogates came to a close, our adoption story is over as well.

I left a message with the agency. I hate leaving messages.

That text message, from my wife, was the conclusion of this crazy journey. The impact of this change is vague and muted. We've been living as if the adoption were over for a long while now. We just finally, with the new year, made it official. We pulled the plug.


Unplugged

Will it free us up to do other things? I don't know. I guess. Perhaps.

Any changes at the start of this year for you?

If you're looking for a tool that will help you with your homeschool planning, don't forget to make use of your Sonlight Instructor's Guide.

 ~Luke Holzmann
Filmmaker, Writer, Empty Nester

P.S. Brittany blogged yesterday after she called the agency.
P.P.S. The fact that I'm not using Sonlight with my own kids does cause me to question the future of what I have to offer here on Sonlight Blog. I felt I had a certain amount of blog cred from being on the adoption journey. I feel I've lost that now. That loss stings as well.

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Reentry: 2 Things to Start the Year Right

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There's a moment in Apollo 13 where we discover that the team has to manually maneuver the ship for reentry. To make matters worse, the margin of error is equivalent to the width of a piece of paper if the earth was the size of a basketball. If they don't do it just right, they'll either burn up in the atmosphere or skip off it into the frozen emptiness of space.

Reentry into the daily grind of homeschooling can feel similarly daunting. Especially with Christmas break. Here we've had a nice long time of celebrating with friends and family, and now there are no more holidays on the horizon. The coming months can seem overwhelming. And the sugar-induced haze isn't helping anything.

What can you do to start this year off right?

1. Remember the things you do which bring you joy. Think back to the things that you were really enjoying prior to the break. Was it one of the amazing books you were reading together? Was it some skill your child just started to master? Did you discover some new topic that really excites you? Keep those victories and delights in mind as you get back into the swing of things. If you need a little inspiration, check out a few of the Sonlight Moments like this one.

2. Look over your priorities and goals again. This is the season for making plans and resolutions for the coming year. But before you do that, it's a good idea to review your goals for your homeschool. Your resolutions and plans for the coming year will become clearer as you consider the progress you've made and the things you need to emphasize more.

If you've seen Apollo 13--spoiler alert--you know the team makes splashdown safely. There's a reminder in that as well: You can do this. While you may feel like you're burning out or bouncing off into nothingness, you can make it.

What do you do when facing reentry into homeschooling?

 ~Luke Holzmann
Filmmaker, Writer, Empty Nester

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Life-Long Learning: Controlled Crashes

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"Why is the recommended tire pressure for the airplanes half as much on land as it is for landing on the ship?"

My one question pales in comparison to the many questions my dad always asks at a museum. But it was the only one I had at the moment. We were aboard the USS Midway. The man in the yellow hat happily explained that the additional pressure is required because of how hard planes hit aircraft carries while landing. "It's more of a controlled crash," he smiled. That wasn't the first time I'd heard that phrase that day. I was getting the impression that a "controlled crash" was the most accurate description.

Even more interesting was listening to one of the guys explain the Link 11 system while we looked at a radar type interface. He talked to us about how CNN was their only source of military intelligence when the TV behind us had been hastily soldered into place. He gave us his take on the IR655 incident. He told us about the successful use of the HARM missile to take out enemy radar which allowed us to fly in without fear of enemy fire.


Link 11

Museums wear me out quickly, and I tend to prefer my information presented in a more crafted form (be it a great book or movie). But getting an account of something from a person who was there is another experience altogether. Assuming, of course, the person is well-spoken and knows their stuff.

Otherwise, the controlled crash can quickly become a crash and burn.

Do you like museums? What was the most interesting thing you've learned about while visiting one?

 ~Luke Holzmann
Filmmaker, Writer, Empty Nester

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