Sonlight Homeschooling Blog

Jul. 21, 2017

6 Keys to Homeschooling Children From Traumatic Backgrounds

We adopted my youngest son from our state’s foster care system over two years ago when he was seven and began homeschooling him when he was in third grade. It hasn’t been easy, but it has been rewarding. My son has a host of issues that stand in the way of his academic success, but homeschooling him gives him the opportunity to receive a gentle education tailored to his individual needs.

I know that in the last few years, I have cried many tears over this boy. At times, I am so proud of him that I can hardly stand it. At times, I am so frustrated that I want to quit. Many parents take on the task of schooling a child with a traumatic background, and it can feel so lonely. Let me assure you, you’re not alone. There are many parents down in the trenches right alongside you. Today, I’m sharing a few things that I’ve learned in the last few years that have made it a little easier, because I’ve been there and I’m still doing that, and because you’re not alone.

1. Put Your Relationship First

Before they know their times tables, a child from a traumatic background needs to know that they are safe and loved. It’s essential. It’s a great idea to spend a few weeks every so often focusing only on your relationship—not on academics.

During this time, play games, have long talks, spend one-on-one time, and possibly most importantly, make eye contact. Eye contact is one of the best ways to communicate love, care and trust to a child.

2. Have a Never Fail Policy

My son carries the weight of his birth parents’ failure with him all the time. As backward as it seems, he feels like he failed them. That is a tremendous burden of failure for a child to carry, so school should never be added to that burden. My son is a year and a half behind in math, but he doesn’t know that. All that he knows is that we steadily keep working at math. If he doesn’t understand a concept, we don’t leave it until he does. In this way he doesn’t have to add that burden of failure to his already heavy load.

School is one thing that he knows he can succeed in, and that gives him confidence that he didn’t have before. The more confidence he has, the clearer his mind is, and the faster he will learn the next concept. Think of homeschooling as a scaffold. If you skip one thing, you have built an unsteady, unsafe scaffold, but if you steadily work at each level until it is perfect, in time, you will get better and better at building it. Therefore, the next several stages will go faster, because you’re confident that you will succeed.

3. Know Your Obstacles

If you go through an obstacle course blindfolded, you will never finish it. You need to know what’s ahead of you in order to handle it. It’s the same way with children. My son came to us with an ADHD diagnosis and plenty of medication. But I never felt right about that, so I researched it and found that he didn’t have ADHD. Instead he has hypervigilance along with symptoms of PTSD. Treatment for these conditions was completely opposite that of ADHD.

Because of this revelation, we were able to find a doctor willing to take him off all his ADHD medicine. From my research, I learned that a weighted blanket on his lap and my occasional touch and encouragement would do wonders for him as he worked. Medicine can be a huge help, but only if it’s the right type. You wouldn’t take an ibuprofen for heartburn, and your child shouldn’t take ADHD medication for a sleep disorder. Always know what you’re dealing with, and if you aren’t sure, get a second (or third) opinion.

4. Take a Break

Parenting a child from a traumatic background is tough. Schooling them is even harder. When you feel frustrated, take a break. Give your child a pleasant surprise by letting him go outside for a quick 15 minute recess while you collect your thoughts and muster up a second wind.

While taking a break sounds selfish to a homeschooling mom, it’s one of the kindest things you can do for your kids. When you are tired and frustrated, you need a break. Feel free to take one.

It’s just as important to allow your child to take a break when they get overwhelmed. We have an old-fashioned bathroom, and my son loves to crawl into the claw-foot bathtub to think when he’s upset. When I see that he needs a break, I just say, “Do you need to go to the bathroom for a while?” It sounds odd, I know, but he always comes out fresh and ready to go. Time away from life every once in awhile is good for everyone’s soul.

5. Never Be Surprised

Kids are human. They sin. It’s imperative that you are never surprised by what they do. Never expect absolute perfection. It places too much pressure on the child and it’s exhausting for you. When you’re surprised by your child’s misbehavior, you will act on emotion, likely giving your child more attention for negative behavior than you need to.

Rather, have a list of consequences written down and keep it close by. When your child misbehaves, take a deep breath, remember that you aren’t surprised by his sin, and calmly dole out the consequence and move on to something else. When your child sees that he can’t get a reaction from you, many of those negative behaviors will likely end.

6. Pace Yourself

If your child leaves fourth grade without knowing his multiplication tables, don’t panic. There is still time, and plenty of it. We treat homeschooling like a sprint. Each year, we bust out of the gate and push ourselves as hard as we can, but in reality, we tire out in the first few weeks. Just like the Tortoise and the Hare taught us: slow and steady wins the race every time. Even more so with traumatized children. Be consistent, and you’ll get there.

Most of all, grace is needed when you take on the task of homeschooling a child from a traumatic background. Grace for your child, and grace for yourself will get you through.

Keep going. Don’t stop. Marathons are long and hard, but the sense of accomplishment at the end is so worth it.

If you are homeschooling a special needs child, we have experienced homeschooling moms who would love to talk to you. Click here to connect with your homeschool consultant.

Tagged adoption, Homeschooling, special needs, trauma | 6 Comments

Jul. 19, 2017

8 Ideas for Nature Study in Urban Areas

By Gina Munsey

In the homeschool world, the idea of rural living pops up a lot. In everything from literature to suggested activities to Instagram hashtags, there’s widespread admiration for the wild outdoors, the idyllic farm, and acres upon acres of open land.

But the truth is, not all homeschoolers live rural lifestyles. We’re not all wading barefoot in creeks and catching frogs. Many of us are hanging up laundry in the living room after carrying groceries up half a dozen flights of stairs, or coaxing a little plant to grow in the narrow swath of sunshine that dances across the kitchen. As a child, I lived on the second story of a multi-family home, and have fond memories of watching magpies, doves, and sparrows from the concrete balcony. We took buses and trains rather than a car (we didn’t own one!) and shared a community garden with other families in the neighborhood.

If you’re a city-dwelling homeschooler, it can sometimes feel like you’re the odd one out, especially as the rural homesteading movement continues to grow in popularity. But would it surprise you to know rural homeschoolers are actually the statistical minority in the United States? Recent data from the National Center for Education Statistics (NCES) shows us that of the homeschooled students from which data was gleaned, only about 40% live in rural areas.

Forty percent! That means the rest—the majority—of homeschooled students in this country are based in cities, suburbs, and towns across America. While the reality of urban and suburban homeschoolers is a far cry from the folkloric ideals of prairies and pioneers, it’s no less valid—just perhaps much less represented in literature, on blogs and social media, and in homeschooling subculture in general.

This lack of representation, I think, really becomes apparent when we start talking about nature study. Many nature study resources assume every homeschooling family has access to unfettered acres, and will be observing plants and animals in a rural setting. If you’re based in a urban or suburban setting, you might feel like your opportunities to explore the nature world are limited. But even miles away from the countryside, there are so many fantastic ways to study nature.

1. Community Gardens

More and more community gardens have been popping up in urban areas in recent years.
This is an excellent way to really dig in (pun intended) to nature while teaching your kids where food comes from. If you’re unable to connect with a local community garden, consider starting your own, or putting together a container garden on your own balcony or stoop.

2. Wild Animal Rescue and Rehabilitation

There are many organizations across the country dedicated to rehabilitating injured wildlife, and some may even allow tours. You’ll have to do a little bit of searching to find out what’s available in your area.

3. Pet Stores

More than just a repository of cat toys and dog collars, urban pet stores can be an excellent place to observe animals, and to talk about the food chain. (Those crickets aren’t stocked as pets!)

4. Universities

Many universities, and even community colleges, have impressive collections of nature specimens. Depending on the fields of study offered by the school, the botany department might have a greenhouse of unusual plants, or the entomology department might have a great insect collection.

5. Saltwater Fish Stores

When I was in highschool, I had a pet shrimp. He was so tame, I could rest my clean, lotion-free hand in our saltwater tank, and he would sit on my finger and nibble on my cuticles. While a saltwater aquarium store definitely won’t let you you place your hand in the water, you might able to observe live rock, coral reef, peppermint shrimp, and other fascinating ocean life.

6. Botanical Gardens

Botanical gardens are hidden away in all sorts of spaces. Sometimes, you’ll find one on the grounds of an art museum, and other times there’s a compact indoor greenhouse overflowing with colorful flora from around the world. These are such refreshing oases! My personal favorite, located in St. Paul, Minnesota, is a journey through the Spice Trade—cocoa, vanilla, cinnamon, coffee and more.

7. Conventions and Conferences

Keep an eye on the conference calendar at the convention centers near you. Sometimes, although this it isn’t always well-advertised or widespread, certain conferences will offer free access to the public on select days. This is how we ended up attending an incredible Insect Expo—at no cost—when the International Congress of Entomology was in town.

8. Windowsill Gardens

The simplest and most economical nature study, of course, is sprouting seeds in tiny pots on the windowsill. The bean sprouts we grew in moistened paper towel and then transplanted to potting soil provided us with weeks of enjoyment—and even a tiny harvest of green beans.

If God has you in an urban area right now, don’t feel limited or alone. He knows. God has His people dotted all over the globe, in high-rises and cottages, in densely populated areas and in rugged wilderness. “The earth is the Lord’s, and everything in it, the world, and all who live in it; there is no place He cannot reach.” (Psalm 24:1). And he has you there, right where He placed you, “for such a time as this.” (Esther 4:14b)

Ready to explore an educational option that gives you flexibility to explore and enjoy nature? Go to SmoothCourse and get started today.

Tagged Homeschooling, nature study, tips | 2 Comments

Jul. 17, 2017

Why I Had to Break Up with Last Year’s Homeschool Schedule

By Amber Smith

In our first year of homeschool life, we had six kids under the age of eight. Those early years of homeschooling were full and busy. We loved the four-day schedule that came with our History / Bible / Literature program because it allowed us to keep a weekly play date or other outing. Life was great until it wasn't and I had to consider breaking up with our homeschool schedule.

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Tagged homeschool, schedule | Leave a comment

Jul. 13, 2017

Two Homeschool Organization Myths That May Be Hindering You

By Ana Willis

The more organized my homeschool is, the less time and money I waste. First, I don't waste time looking for things because I know exactly where they are. Second, I don't waste money buying again what I already have but can't find. I confess that I am happier and calmer when everything is in its place. However, I have noticed two big homeschool organization myths that many moms hold. I’m here to bust these myths and encourage you if you want to be more organized.

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Tagged homeschool, organization | 2 Comments

Jul. 12, 2017

How to Spot a Homeschooled College Student

By Sonlight

How do you know if a college student was homeschooled? Is it easy for college professors to spot a homeschooled college student out of a crowd of co-eds?

Unfortunately, stereotypes still linger when it comes to homeschoolers. Some college faculty and students may think they can pick out a homeschooled student a mile away.

But in a recent informal survey of college professors asking about their experience with homeschooled students, I loved what one professor pointed out: I don’t know which students were homeschooled unless they tell me.

It’s obvious, but still a nice reminder. If your student goes to college, they will not wear some I was homeschooled label everywhere they go. Colleges realized years ago that homeschoolers were ideal candidates for admission, and today’s campuses have homeschoolers all over the place, just blending in and doing their thing.

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The Good News About Your Homeschooler at College

If part of you wonders if your children will be prepared for college, be encouraged to know that thousands of others have been. If you and your student both see college as a goal, homeschooling can actually give your children a distinct advantage in preparing for college.

When you homeschool through high school, you can give your student an education tailored to their unique struggles and gifts, freedom to pursue their interests, one-on-one tutoring, and flexibility to pursue real-life learning through internships and volunteer work.

In fact, a recent study found that homeschoolers tend to outperform their peers in terms of college GPA and graduation rates. These findings don’t surprise me at all. For years, I’ve had the chance to interview our Sonlight scholarship winners, who demonstrate the range and depth of college preparedness among homeschooled students.

Now, can I guarantee that every homeschooler will excel in college? Of course not. Each student is a unique person with unique circumstances. Some students are unusually intelligent. Some are willing to focus their energy on academics. Some would prefer not to play the “game” of school (like one of my sons, who is now a successful businessman). Some don’t need to go to college to do what God is calling them to do in life. But in general, of the homeschoolers who pursue a college degree, most of them are thriving at school.

Common Traits of Homeschooled College Students

Beyond reminding us that only the Admissions Office knows who was homeschooled and who wasn’t unless the students tell, those college professors shared other helpful thoughts about students who they knew were homeschooled. Seven professors, from public and private universities responded to the survey. The responses are very encouraging, and align with what I’ve heard time and time again.

I noticed a few themes in their answers:

Homeschooled students tend to be self-motivated in their college classes. They take responsibility for their own learning and they work hard.
Homeschooled students tend to be more interested in learning for the sake of learning. They are genuinely curious and eager to grow.
Homeschoolers tend to be very well prepared for college, and generally have superior reading comprehension and better writing skills than students who went to public or private school.
Homeschooled students do tend to have a few specific weaknesses, but most of these are quickly overcome and are far out shadowed by their strengths. (For example, some may have to adjust to waiting for feedback on an assignment, or they may not have as much practice taking notes or tests.)
Homeschool parents can help prepare their students for college by giving them responsibility to manage their own schedules. For example, high school students should be able to finish a complex project by a specific due date.

In general, these professors love having homeschooled students in class. Their homeschooled students tend to be the most engaged, respectful and curious students in the classroom.

If you’re torn about homeschooling in high school, know that it can often work beautifully. Check out Why in the World Would You Homeschool High Schoolers, and consider reaping the rewards of the educational foundation and the open communication you’ve worked so hard to cultivate over the years. Many, many Sonlight students have excelled in college on their way to becoming the people God created them to be. Your student can, too!

If you have questions about how to best prepare your own student for college, don’t hesitate to contact a Sonlight Homeschool Advisor, or look at our College Prep offerings today.

Tagged college, high school, Homeschooling, scholarship | 2 Comments

Jul. 10, 2017

Why We Have a No Toy Policy

By Amber Smith

Yes, I have a No Toy Policy. Before you think we have read The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up and have gone over the Feng Shui deep end, let me share an observation that happened about sixteen years ago while visiting a new friend.

As we were enjoying our coffee, we heard a toy avalanche from the other room. The boys had dumped two huge tubs of toys to find matching tractors to play with. If you have ever owned a toy box, you are familiar with this horrific sound.

My friend just shrugged at the overwhelming mess. Her son was the first grandchild with an abundance of uncles and aunts. This extended family was as excited about this little guy’s birthdays as he was; milestone events were typically celebrated with a pile of toys.

My friend couldn't see a way out of this toy-dumping merry-go-round without breaking everyone’s hearts. As we cleaned up the mess, I knew this was a problem I did not want to have in the future.

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We Made a Plan to Avoid Future Clutter and Frustration

With any number of kids, there is the potential to get overwhelmed with heaps of junky plastic baubles. Besides the clutter, there are also many toys on store shelves my husband and I did not want to bring into our home because of the messages they send to our children. After talking it over, we devised our No Toy Policy.

We called the extended family and explained how we wanted to choose the quantity and kinds of toys that entered our home. We requested everyone please refrain from large gifts and enlisted their help to curate our high quality toy collection together.

Our families were very happy to help us create the home environment we desired. As we have stood by this No Toy Policy for the last eighteen years, we have been grateful for its main four benefits to our family culture.

1. We Became Givers of Quality, Thoughtful Gifts

There were years that were lean, and years that were plentiful, but the kids didn't notice the change because we were consistent in our giving habits. Because they were getting fewer typical toy gifts, we could choose to give higher quality playthings. We found that these gifts lasted a long time and were well loved because there were fewer distractions. In a home with ten children, I am amazed to say that many of the toys we have bought over the years are still being enjoyed by the younger children.

2. We Became Creative with Gift Requests

We do have hearts; we didn’t leave grandparents out of the loop when it came to gift giving. We looked for gifts that family members could give to all the children as a unit. Typically, these were experience oriented gifts:

subscriptions to quality children’s magazines
family passes to the zoo or our local science center
a family membership to the local pool

When at all possible, we asked for or purchased a pass that included grandparents or a guest in order to include extended family in our family outings. As a bonus, these trips often connect to our Sonlight studies, so we are taking field trips while bonding as a family.

3. We Enjoyed More Peace and Quiet

Grandparents aren't always going to like your requests, and since they birthed you or your spouse, they deserve a little give and take. For example, there was the year my husband’s mother revolted against the No Toy Policy. That Christmas morning she presented each child—bless her soul—with an electronic toy of some sort. Each toy was about the size of a laundry basket and had seven flashing lights which responded to touch with accompanying sounds. Her living room felt like the mid-way at the State Fair, minus AC-DC singing Thunder Struck.

I got the message that Grandma was sick of buying jeans and jammies, so we got creative.

The following year, we searched the Sonlight catalog for items that would complement our History / Bible / Literature and Science programs for the oncoming year. We created a wishlist of extras so when a family member asked for gift suggestions we had a convenient list ready. (Create an account here on Sonlight.com to make your own wishlist which can easily be emailed to grandparents or to yourself.)

Sonlight offers art kits, a microscope, summer reader packs, and more. By sharing these suggestions, our family avoided toy overload, got to experience new hobbies, and Grandma was very happy about the new arrangement.

4. We Saved a Great Deal of Money

Because homeschooling is a priority in our life, we make smart financial choices to accommodate this learning lifestyle. To stay at home and educate my children, I gave up a full-time income. Saving money is also part of our homeschool lifestyle so that we can both make ends meet on one income and also invest in a high quality literature-based curriculum.

Recently, I read an article where parents responded about their common Christmas spending habits. They stated that they spent from over $100 to upwards of $800 on each child. That same year, we had purchased gifts for twelve of us at just under $600, total. It was one of our most fun celebrations.

Because of our No Toy Policy, we are forced to shop wisely. Compared to many families, we spend far less on holidays and birthdays, but we have never stopped having great celebrations.

Curating our children’s interests was a skill we developed over the years. And while we said no to waste and clutter, we said yes to high quality books and learning tools that we will cherish for years to come. The result was meaningful gift exchanges and increased gratitude.

Our No Toy Policy Enhances Our Homeschool Life

Homeschooling is about enjoying your home as much as it is about educating your children. Our No Toy Policy might seem over the top at first glance, but I am sure you have seen homes where toys rule the day. They are quickly broken and discarded.

With fewer toys, our kids create, find, and build their own fun. We saved money by using our season passes to get out, play, and learn. We have explored extensive learning topics with Sonlight electives and we were stretched to get out and try new things as a family. Our No Toy Policy has served us well and matched our family culture that values people over things, experiences over clutter.

To see our recommendations for books, learning tools, and science kits, order a complimentary copy of your catalog today.

Tagged educational gifts, educational toys, family culture, gifts, parenting, Tools not toys, toys | 1 Comment

Jul. 7, 2017

Financial Benefits of a Literature-based Curriculum

By MJ Sherwood

If you are hoping to use a literature-based homeschool curriculum, the cost can at first seem to be an obstacle. When money is tight on a single family income, your favorite homeschool curriculum can feel like an extravagance. You may start to question if purchasing a literature-based curriculum is really the best option.

Our family has experienced rough financial years where I had to scout out deals, get creative, or scale back on extra subjects. Usually we had a budget planned for homeschool curriculum, but just as spring rolled around, a major appliance broke or my husband's hours at work were cut. No matter what your budget says on paper, it's hard to shell out the big bucks for curriculum when the family car breaks down. I understand the challenge.

There have been better years, as well, when we have successfully saved for our big curriculum purchase. On those years, we had margin even for extras so that my budget-savvy husband didn't even break a sweat at the homeschool convention vendor hall.

Either way, whether a rough or fantastic financial year, there is one curriculum choice where I have never compromised. A literature-based homeschool program has been my foundation every year since my oldest was in preschool. Even from the those first years of homeschooling, I saw the financial value of sticking with a literature-based curriculum like Sonlight.

Family Schooling Benefits

When my oldest, Dreaming Daughter, finishes her curriculum, I simply put the books and Instructor's Guide back on the shelf to be used for my next child. Once the new school year rolls around, I have to purchase a new program only for my oldest. The younger children use the hand-me-down History / Bible / Literature programs already in my home library.

My two younger children, Tenderhearted Boy and Wild Little Girl, are close enough in age that I can combine them and use one program for both. This choice means big financial savings for the family and time savings for me.

Ongoing Value

If the time ever comes when you are truly finished with your curriculum and ready to say goodbye to the beloved books in your literature-based program, you can pass them to another family who will get more years of use from them. Unlike so many consumable curriculums that are only worth a trip to the storage box or garbage can at the end of the year, a literature-based curriculum never becomes obsolete. Quality books can always find a second life in a new home library.

One year I was blessed to have my parents hand down their Sonlight books to use with my kids. It was a financial blessing to me, and it blessed them to discuss favorite stories with us as we went through the year. In turn, I have loaned our favorites to friends, enriching their homeschool experience.

Discount on Replacement Instructor's Guides

Maybe you want an updated Instructor's Guide or need new consumable pages for your Science or Language Arts. The advantage to choosing Sonlight as your literature-based curriculum is that you can purchase a brand new guide for 50% off. Some years I have chosen not to update to a new Instructor's Guide at all. When I have chosen to update, I was ever so grateful for that huge discount.

Few Consumables

With a literature-based approach to homeschooling, you purchase very few consumables. Most of your subjects are covered via conversations about a book. Instead of filling pages in a workbook that you will toss in April or May, you are building connections with your children. In upper grades, children may have papers to write, but every single book can be enjoyed again as part of your home library.

More Efficient Planning & Teaching Time

How valuable is your time? With four little kids to raise, a husband busy with work, and a home to keep, my time has become more valuable by the year. Thankfully I don't have to spend time planning my year because Sonlight does that for me. Once the books are organized on bookshelves, I am ready to go. I have more time to meet the needs of my family.

I save even more time because I can teach some of my kids together with a literature-based program. When we sit down for daily read-alouds, I get a two-for-one deal on my time— two kids hear the same lesson each day.

Our choice to use Sonlight has allowed me to support my husband in a huge way as he worked two jobs for over a year. We had three kids under the age of five when he started his own business! His new venture was difficult enough without adding one more thing to my plate. Even when money was tight, we knew there was value in having my year planned, teaching some of our kids together, and building a home library of amazing titles. Looking back, we can agree that Sonlight was a lifesaver for us during those years.

There is no question that purchasing homeschool curriculum is a big financial investment. The real question is this: Is the curriculum worth the cost? Before you invest in anything, you have to see the value in it to make the commitment. In my experience, there are huge financial benefits to choosing Sonlight as my literature-based curriculum.

What are the goals and values you hope to get from your curriculum this year? Once you narrow down those objectives and find a program that fits, you will know it makes financial sense to invest in that curriculum. For me, that's Sonlight.

Sonlight can work for you, too! Try three weeks of any Sonlight Instructor's Guide for free. Click here to get your taste of our literature-based curriculum.

Tagged benefits, budgeting, choosing, curriculum, financial, homeschool, literature-based | 1 Comment