She sits, head in her hands.
My wife's fingers gently comb through her hair. We three sit quietly. I squeeze her, my eyes brimming with tears for her pain. There are no words which would help.
Her phone chirps. Her dad is calling, making sure she's okay and accounted for. "But it's not like this at home," she confides to us. "We're not this close."
She's not the first teen I've talked with who feels this way. Homeschoolers and other-schoolers alike: At some point, for some reason, there is often a disconnect between parent and child. Looking back, I see it in my own life as well.
Park Bench
There's this idea I keep bumping into in the homeschool world: "Parents must be the ones to train their children." I get the biblical mandate. I understand the importance of parental involvement. I'm not suggesting that parents shouldn't be involved in their child's life. What I don't like is the idea that parents should be the only mentor/instructor/teacher. That does not lead to good things. And, really, that's not a reality which can be achieved in a healthy environment.
Homeschooling is great, not just because you can be so involved in your child's life, but you can also help them find resources beyond you.
The question, then, is: Who are your children's mentors? Where do your kids go when they are in pain, or frustrated, or confused and--for whatever the reason--don't feel like they can come to you?
What things are you doing/have done to help make sure your children find good mentors?
~Luke Holzmann
Filmmaker, Writer, Empty Nester
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